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Sometimes I wonder how I can go from being in such a good place with God … feeling peaceful, loving and patient.. but then something happens that sends me into an orbit of aggravation!!
It happened just the other day…
Things were going well. I’d had a lovely afternoon working from home. Alone. Life was peachy.
But then school got out and kids came home. Within 15 minutes of arrival, one of my boys did something and said something that wasn’t so peachy. Then he did NOT do something I’d asked him to do and let’s just say… I lost all my peace and patience right there in the middle of my kitchen.
I was not happy.at.all. And I let my precious boy know it in a not-so-nice kind of way.
Then I felt GUILTY and like the WORST MOM on the planet.
For a few minutes I was pretty sure that’s exactly how God wanted me to feel ~ so I wouldn’t act so ugly the next time.
But finally, after I’d almost convinced myself that I was the worst mom and had no business in ministry, I remembered something a pastor said about the difference between conviction and condemnation. He explained it like this:
Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements such as, You’re such a failure, You’re so hypocritical, or You can never be counted on. That is the accuser. His tone is condemning, questioning, and confusing. His accusations lead to guilt and shame.
But the Holy Spirit’s conviction will be specific. He will reveal a sinful action or attitude and instruct us on what we need to do to right the wrong: whether it’s restoring a broken relationship or returning something that isn’t ours. He’ll give us steps we need to take to change our behavior or attitude.
• Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
• Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.
• Instead of You can never be counted on, the Spirit might say, You didn’t keep your promise to go see your mom today. Call her to apologize and maybe set up a lunch date for this weekend.
Satan condemns accusingly, to make us feel guilty. God convicts lovingly, to lead our hearts to repentance. {tweet this?}
Jesus’ convictios draws us away from destructive behavior that hinders our relationship with Him and with others. His goal is to bring us out of the darkness of sin and back into the Light, so we can walk with Him in the freedom of forgiveness and the confidence of His love.
The next time we blow it or lose it, let’s ask Jesus to replace our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence, as we hold onto the promise that His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
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I struggle with this daily! I have been pregnant or nursing for the past eight years and counting. With all of these beautiful, noisy, smart, strong-willed children around it is common for me to go from doting mother to screaming banshee several times a day. One thing that has helped me exercise more patience with my husband and children is to think of the Lord as a parent. I think of how much He loves me and how patient He continues to be with me.
Thank you for this word of encouragement! It’s good to know that I am not alone.
Since I work for Hospice you can imagine that my days are often so full of stressful situations that I tend to get caught up in that and don’t take the time to read the Proverbs 31 devotionals for that day. I guess God knew I needed to read what you wrote today because I was prompted to read it before starting my normal daily routine. Thank you for allowing God to speak through you. It was a much needed message for me. May God continue to richly bless your ministry.
I subscribed to your facebook posts a while back & they have really helped me in many ways. I just subscribed to your devotion email and todays email was exactly what I needed to hear. It always amazes me how God puts just what I need to hear in front of me!!
Thanks Renee for such a great reminder of the wonderful ways that God “parents” and loves on us as His children, even when we fail. God Bless you and your family. : )
This devotional helped to reassure me of Gods Grace!! The church I was raised up in did not teach me about all of His forgiving attributes. I truly felt the Holy Spirit come into my life when I was 23 and I am 47 now so I have had to “re-learn” things and sometime its hard for me. I find myself not taking an opportunity because I feel like I am not worthy to speak on His behalf. Even though people will tell me and show me in scripture it is so uplifting so see people share their individual experiences, makes me feel more confident to do the things He has called me to do. Thank You!!
Thank you for your devotion, it really hit home with me. I love the part of your prayer which asks Jesus to “replace our guilt-induced doubts to grace-infused confidence.” I will be praying that prayer as much as I can, I need to replace the anger and doubts with the confidence and grace that only Jesus can give.
Reading with tears in my eyes-what a comforting message-grace and forgiveness! Thank you for sharing!
Oh my Goodness, I have just read your devotional on Proverbs 31 and have tears flowing!!!! I am felt that guilt a number of times and am truly thankful for God’s mercy and GRACE each and every time. There has been many times that I have not felt worthy to be a leader at Kings Kid’s or start teaching Jr. Church for the first time this month with my husband. We are not worthy of that great role, but with God’s Grace and Mercy we are!!! Praise God for that! I totally need A Confident Heart Devotional 🙂 to guide me thought the new challenges I am facing in my church ministries!
Would love to win your book!
Thank You!
This was just what I needed to hear this morning. Every single time I think I’m all alone and deserve nothing good, I get a message from God that he hears me and is with me always. Still trying to learn that I am deserving of mercy and grace. But messages like these help so much. I am so grateful and thankful. Thank you for sharing this. L~
I read your devotional from Proverbs 31 today and it really touched my heart to know that I am not the only one who struggles with that. I have had days like that too and it’s good to know that I shouldn’t beat myself up for not being perfect. And then your devotional on your blog hit that home even more. We aren’t perfect and sometimes we lose it with our family or our husbands and I will try to remember to apologize and ask forgiveness when I blow up again. I’m not perfect and it’s bound to happen. Thanks for the encouraging words.
Thank you so much!
I was just telling (in a moment of frustration) my husband the other day how I lose it so easily and I hate it. I want to be calm and happy and not have little things set me off. I have been hoping to find a devotional to help me with this very thing.
Wow, I really needed to hear this today. I have been feeling so much guilt over what I consider “bad parenting” lately. Being under a lot of stress through life transition right now, I haven’t been leaning on His mercy, grace, and love to sustain me. Thank you for sharing.
I have struggled with God’s calling on my life because of some things that happened in my past and my feelings of unworthiness. The devotional today really opened my heart to the fact that my confidence is not in my ability, it in my Savior, who is gracious and has forgiven me of my sins. Like the Samaratin woman at the well, God has given me living water and I can walk confidently in Him. Thank you for allowing God to speak through you to encourage women across the world.
Dear Renee, I so relate to the dilemma of peace filled moments when all is going well and then one instant can have all that we thought and learned come crashing down. I am praying that we are all one step closer each time that happens to experience more and more of His grace as we grow and become more like Jesus!
Blessings to you the ministry God has called you to,
Lynelle
Thank you for today’s email devotional. Even though I feel certain of the calling God has made on my life, I sometimes feel as though I am not good enough, strong enough, Godly enough to manage it. However, I don’t have to be good enough, it is God’s ministry that He has entrusted me with and I am just a vessel. Thank you for the encouragement this morning 🙂 Sometimes we need to be reminded of our worth in Christ!
Wonderful post! Just what I needed to be reminded of today.
Thank you!
I love reading your words of wisdom! As I read these I realize I’m not alone. We are all so guilty of this. The devil sure tries to take hold of our failures! God bless you and keep up the great great work God has chosen you to do!
Oh I can so relate to your comments as both a Christian woman and mom, and that makes your wisdom all the more appealing to my imperfect heart. Thank you for your encouragement. I especially want to soak in the truth of the difference between condemnation and conviction–I’ll be re-reading that several times!
It is so easy jump from allowing Grace to work to me trying to do all I can to earn it, as if I could! But, then I do feel guilty and doubtful and unworthy and think I do not deserve His Grace at all.Thanks for the reminder that it is not about me or my feelings or my “doing” or “undoing”. I have to learn everyday to just take Him at His word, trust Him and lean on Him. Thanks for the reminder that no matter our status in the world, we still are in need of the Holy Spirit and Grace every single minute of our human lives. And, yes please enter my name in the drawing today..
Thank you for this. I let myself be led off track in my purpose of bringing value and encouraging women. I’m the one that leads me off track with self doubt & insecurity, thinking I must be crazy to think I can help women feel good about themselves when I don’t always feel good about myself. Remembering that God’s strength is made great in my weakness helps, knowing that He can use it all. Thank you!
This is the kind of advice I need everyday! So often all I hear is the deceiver instead if the forgiving voice of my Lord.
Thanks for being human, as we all are.
God has repeatedly brought before me this week the difference between convictiòn and condemnation. Thank you for reiterating this truth.
This sure hit home with me today! Hard as I try to keep calm and always look on the positive side of things, there always seems to be that ONE day where it all seems to go to the wayside and I snap. Then I feel so guilty afterward because I know that is not how God wants me to act or feel. Then I wind up asking for His forgiveness (AGAIN) and wonder just how many times is He going to grant me His grace! I am so grateful that He loves me and continues to listen even though I call on Him quite regularly. He is my rock and salvation, forever!
I really needed to hear your P31 devotion today, I’m also in ministry and often feel unqualified to lead the beautiful women who attend my small group and your message reminds me that I’m ministering to my own spirit as well and how much we need the Holy Spirit to guide us. Thank you.
I loved and needed this reminder! I have learned that the things I tried to hide and cover up, are exactly the things God wants me to share when I speak, and when I write. The things that embarrass me and I do not want anyone to know; are the things God has used in my life, to touch and help others. Sometimes I laugh, and think, ‘how could God use me and this awful mess of a situation for His glory?’ and then God shows me how He uses that mess and makes it a miracle! I’m real, and that’s all people need to see from each of us … we are real. We make mistakes and messes. But through Christ, we can turn them around!
This was a good devotion. Thank you for sharing your struggles. We are to encourage one another. Thanks!
I love this devotion today. I am struggling with trying to get my prayer life back in order and dealing with self-condemnation because of my daily thoughts and struggles. Then I feel like God is mad at me or punishing me because I am such a mess. Instead of trusting God more, I end up feeling defeated, negative and short-fused.
Wonderful words to hear. Sometimes women worry to step up in ministry because they are not perfect. We can speak to others through our messiness. Thank you for sharing your words.
So many times I have felt so overwhelmed with guilt of how can I lead others when I feel I haven’t lived up to the word that I was to deliver. I never looked at it in the way of realizing that the same mercy and grace of God that I would be encouraging the women with would be the same mercy and grace that God would give to me. Who much better to do this than the one who had first been a partaker of the same downfalls and mishaps? This certainly blessed me and helped even the more to realize that when I encourage others, I encourage myself. Thank you so much for sharing this devotional. I really needed to hear this.
Thanks for this! I often find myself thinking how bad I am for the way I reacted when in all actuality, God is reminding me to do better next time!
As a young woman about to graduate college, this is something I struggle with regularly. No, I do not have children just yet, but every day I struggle with the guilt of my mistakes. In turn, I question myself and my worthiness. It’s a battle that I think many young women face. This message really hit home for me, as I constantly need to be reminded that He is gracious; even though I may stumble, I cannot let me guilt stand in the way of my relationship with Him. This was exactly what I needed today.
Thanks, Renee for the reminder that in the midst of the journey, no matter how difficult or how messy, we can know that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him…” Romans 8:28
Thanks for the wonderful devotion today! I had a very trying evening with my 11 year old yesterday. We both ended up with hurt feelings. I asked God to help me be a better mother who doesn’t yell and scream at her children to get them to understand their wrong doings. I ended up feeling very guilty and not confident as a mom or a christian.
I am struggling with an addict husband and have been very negative with him when he relapses. I need to stop
I will pray for you today, Kerri. Sweet woman of God…you’re being lifted up.
Love it, need to hear, keep them coming Renee
Hi Renee’! I would love to win the devotional book. As women we can be so hard on ourselves, and others, and so quick to condemn. Thank you for giving us tools to help us and also pointing out that this is another scheme of our enemy, Satan, to throw us off track and live guilt-ridden lives. Learning to live confident and free from doubt is a daily process and only God’s Word can combat the lies of the enemy! Thank you! Many blessings to you and your family!
Thanks for the reminder of God’s grace. I need to apologize to someone right now so I can quit feeling guilty and get on with what God has planned for me.
Boy this sure hit home with me. Not only a great reminder of God’s grace but that we are a work in progress, always being refined. Thank you.
Good thoughts to ponder. Thank you for sharing.
Would love to win the book too!
I did the online Bible study of your Confident Heart book last year and it was such a blessing. I remember this excerpt from one of the chapters. Through reading the book and the Scripture included throughout the study, I’ve learned that I can be confident in the grace God gives me daily to overcome self-doubt, fear, and anxiety. I would love to have a copy of the devotional to go along with the book. Thanks so much for following God’s calling to write this and help so many women who struggle with self-doubt and helping them realize that they are God’s masterpiece.
So many times I will let my patience fly out the window and forget to be focused on speaking words of life and having mercy for others. Christ had mercy on us, but we so easily forget to share that mercy with others. It’s just like the parable of the servant who was forgiven his debt but immediately went out and demanded payment from a fellow servant that owed much less to him. We’ve been forgiven it all, but we can’t let the chatter of the enemy hold us in guilt and shame, telling us we aren’t good enough. Thank you for your honest post and devotional today. It gives us all that sigh of relief that we all make mistakes and all have grace through Christ! God Bless!
Thank you so much, Renee, for the lovely reminder that God can indeed use me in my mess. I needed to hear that right now!
Blessings to you,
Lori Lynn
So many times we beat ourselves up with guilt instead of going to the Father; asking for his forgiveness; accepting His grace and then moving on to fulfill His will in us.
Although I am not a mother, I definitely see this in how I confront my two younger brothers when they misbehave. Most the time I am the condemning type, and I usually end up feeling negative or guilty afterwards but it is hopeful to learn that there is a better way!
Hi. Decided to share with you in hopes of gaining wisdom from others. I love the lord. The word says, “If you love the Lord, you will keep his commandments”. I desire to to know the Lord and to love others as I love myself. But, some days it is not so easy to love. My confidence in my abilities are at an all time low. I feel like a failure most days. I miss the mark most days.
It is wonderful to know I am not the only one that gets frustrated. I have a daughter with Autism and a teenage son. So needless to say, my patience gets stretched pretty tight. Thank you for being so open and honest about your person experiences. It makes me feel better! God Bless~