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What’s Wrong With Me?

How often do you think, “What’s wrong with me?” 

It’s a question I’ve asked myself way too many times. When I forget something important, when I’m late for a meeting, lose my keys, miss deadlines or walk into a room in my house and can’t remember why I went there.

But one day, I realized every time I asked, “What’s wrong with me?” I was actually telling myself something is wrong with me. 

And I was tired of trying to figure out my elusive fault so I could change it. 

I needed to change the way I talked to myself. How about you?

God doesn’t want us berating ourselves with questions and statements that make us feel defective and defeated.

But, we have an enemy who loves to cast a shadow of self-doubt over us by playing into our self-defeating thoughts. He tries to get us to focus on all that is wrong with us (real or perceived), instead of anything that is right with us.

Scripture tells us when Satan lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44). The word lie means a falsehood with the intent to deceive.

Satan intends to deceive our hearts by getting us to take our eyes off of who we are in Christ and focus on our flaws — then spend our days figuring out how we can hide them.

One of his goals is to get us to believe lies that leave us feeling inadequate and unsure of ourselves. It’s just what he did with Eve in the garden. In fact, I wonder if Eve might have thought, What’s wrong with me? when she became aware of her inadequacy.

Then the eyes of both [Adam and Eve] were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden…and they hid from the Lord God…But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” (Gen. 3:7-10, NIV)

In verse 11, God responds with a question, asking Adam who told them they were naked. In other words,“Who told you that something is wrong with you?”

In asking this questions, He acknowledged there was someone else involved in this story, someone casting shame on them — and it wasn’t Him….

What self-critical thoughts and condemnation are you battling this week? 

Read the rest of my post over at inCourage where I’m sharing some powerful truths to replace Satan’s lies. I’d love to meet you there!

 

What if this is God? { guest post & GIVE*AWAY }

A door opened in my work that, while wonderful and exciting, would be way over my head to accomplish. Without even a single prayer, I headed to my office to write the email. Fearful to how hard the task would be, I didn’t have the kind of confidence it would take to say yes.

Then I stopped. What if this was God? Would God ask me to do something that was beyond my normal strength?

Yes, that did sound like it could in fact be a plan He would create. He would plan to put me in a place beyond my ability, so He could be fully seen.

There was a group of women in the Bible who also had every reason to also be fearful, yet they found the confidence they needed to make their move.

In Numbers 26, The Promise Land is being divided up among the sons of the tribes of Israel. This where we meet the daughters of Zelophehad (or the daughters of Z as I call them). Their story begins with their problem. Tradition dictated that only men were land owners. During the passage to Canaan, their father had died … with no sons. This would mean when the five daughters entered the Promise Land there would be no promise land awaiting them.

If they didn’t do something, they would be homeless.

They had a choice: listen to the voices of their culture’s tradition, the voices possibly whispering in their own minds or make their move.

In Genesis 17:8 God had said to Abraham, the daughters’ ancient grandfather, “The whole land of Canaan, where you now reside as a foreigner, I will give as an everlasting possession to you and your descendants after you.” I believe the Daughters of Z knew this promise; the land was for all of Abraham’s descendants, even his granddaughters.

Confidently, they made their move. 

They “… approached the entrance to the Tent of Meeting and stood before Moses, Eleazar the priest, the leaders and the whole assembly, and said, “…Why should our father’s name disappear from his clan because he had no son? Give us property among our father’s relatives.” Numbers 27: 2 & 4

Look at these gals!

Did they shrink back because that is “just the way it was”? Hiding behind their problem, this rejection? Allow it to paralyze them?

No. They were bold and confident.

The daughters of Z claimed what was theirs’s because they knew who they were and whose they were. They didn’t allow their confidence to be in doubt because of who others said they were.

What have you faced, what are you facing, that is blocking the way of you being a more confident you? Standing in the way of you making your move?

Maybe like the daughters of Z, it has been what you haven’t had. You’ve felt that in order to be confident, you needed more. You see others experience the success you want, but you don’t have the self-worth it takes to step out, take a risk. Daily, you compare yourself to her. You know who she is. The one you wish you had her life: her job, her family, her husband, her body. No wonder she’s confident. I would be too if I had what she’s got. If I just had more.

I get that. I, too, have faced situations where I felt I needed more; more education, more connections, more creativity, more opportunities, more favor.

Perhaps you have felt confident in the past, but it just doesn’t seem possible any more. Your someone is gone, your someplace you no longer are or your something you no longer have … and you no longer have your confidence.

But you want it! You want to be brave, bold and go after the desires in your heart.

The daughters of Z knew what belonged to them as granddaughters of Abraham and daughters of God. This knowing gave them the confidence they needed to do what they needed to do.

I’m discovering, as I learn of and believe what God says about me, confidence comes!

My thinking is switching from what I think about me and my circumstances to what He says. Putting down confidence-crushing thoughts allows us to pick up Christ’s Confidence.

  • He says He is my confidence.” for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.” Proverbs 3:26 (ESV)
  • He says I am blessed when my confidence is in Him. ““But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” Jeremiah 17:7 (NIV)

These are messages we have to tell our heart: His truth.

Today’s our day to get the confidence we desire – Christ Confidence.

We can choose not to build our confidence on someone, someplace or something – things that we can lose or have taken from us. Unshakable confidence is built upon our unshakeable God! We can choose to dig into God’s word for ourselves and discover His promises. We can stand on those promises, becoming wise and confident women like the Daughters of Z!

ENTER TO WIN LYNN’s GIVE-AWAY
Has there been a time when your confidence was shaken? Comment below for a chance to win a copy of Lynn’s Make Your Move Bible study book and DVD bundle. (Due to high shipping costs, we can only consider U.S. entries.)

In Make Your Move, Lynn Cowell explores how confidence-in-question keeps us from boldly experiencing what God intends for our lives. Learn more about her new Bible study and download 10 Verses to Build Your Confidence here. 

My friend Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and the author of several books, written for women of all ages. Her new Bible Study Make Your Move: Finding Unshakeable Confidence Despite Your Fears and Failures for women empowers us to find our confidence in Christ. Lynn calls North Carolina home, where she and her husband Greg, and the occasional backyard deer, are adjusting to life as empty nesters. Along with their three adult children, Lynn and Greg love hiking, rafting and anything combining chocolate and peanut butter. You can connect with her on Facebook at Lynn Cowell.