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Sometimes I wonder how I can go from being in such a good place with God … feeling peaceful, loving and patient.. but then something happens that sends me into an orbit of aggravation!!
It happened just the other day…
Things were going well. I’d had a lovely afternoon working from home. Alone. Life was peachy.
But then school got out and kids came home. Within 15 minutes of arrival, one of my boys did something and said something that wasn’t so peachy. Then he did NOT do something I’d asked him to do and let’s just say… I lost all my peace and patience right there in the middle of my kitchen.
I was not happy.at.all. And I let my precious boy know it in a not-so-nice kind of way.
Then I felt GUILTY and like the WORST MOM on the planet.
For a few minutes I was pretty sure that’s exactly how God wanted me to feel ~ so I wouldn’t act so ugly the next time.
But finally, after I’d almost convinced myself that I was the worst mom and had no business in ministry, I remembered something a pastor said about the difference between conviction and condemnation. He explained it like this:
Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements such as, You’re such a failure, You’re so hypocritical, or You can never be counted on. That is the accuser. His tone is condemning, questioning, and confusing. His accusations lead to guilt and shame.
But the Holy Spirit’s conviction will be specific. He will reveal a sinful action or attitude and instruct us on what we need to do to right the wrong: whether it’s restoring a broken relationship or returning something that isn’t ours. He’ll give us steps we need to take to change our behavior or attitude.
• Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
• Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.
• Instead of You can never be counted on, the Spirit might say, You didn’t keep your promise to go see your mom today. Call her to apologize and maybe set up a lunch date for this weekend.
Satan condemns accusingly, to make us feel guilty. God convicts lovingly, to lead our hearts to repentance. {tweet this?}
Jesus’ convictios draws us away from destructive behavior that hinders our relationship with Him and with others. His goal is to bring us out of the darkness of sin and back into the Light, so we can walk with Him in the freedom of forgiveness and the confidence of His love.
The next time we blow it or lose it, let’s ask Jesus to replace our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence, as we hold onto the promise that His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
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There is a lot of pressure to be the wife and mother I need to be. I carried the mentality that I Can Not Fail for years which would really lead to a sharp tongue followed by regret. I have been working on allowing His grace in for at least 4 years. However your message hit like a ton of bricks. The I Can Not Fail suddenly looks like With Him I Will Not Fail.
Thank you for your message this morning. It truly spoke to me!!
I am new to God’s word the more I read all of I can get my hands on. I feel that I really needs God’s grace in my live also. Your book would be a great help to me in finding and understanding His grace. Thanks for all your words and great help.
As right now in my life there is so much guilt and anger in my life I need God’s grace with me right now. Kellie
Thank you for your words this morning. I constantly question my words that I use with my husband and kids (especially during certain times of the month)! Thank you for reminding me that I’m not perfect & that I can ask for their forgiveness and build them up.
Dear fellow followers : Each morning I read devotionals knowing it is a positive way to start my day. When I read ones such as Rene’s message today, it helps me to understand the depth of Christ’s love for me. It helps keep me buoyant when I think I may be going under, it helps remind me of my humanness. Thanking you, Renee, for sharing your humanness that I know I am not alone in my journey to walk closely with our Lord.
I am blessed with three little grandsons, Liam, Aiden, and Collin and because of them, I understand even more the importance of love, empathy, compassion, gentleness, forgiveness, and humility. They are among my most inspirational teachers.
Thanking you, and thanking our Lord, for all my many blessings amongst which are woman like yourself who inspire and support me through the good times, and the challenging times.
Most grateful,
Diane
Thank God for godly women who are for real. Condemnation and doubt have been my two best friends for the last 27 years. After having two failed marraiges and a life of bad decisions I have finally given God back the steering wheel of my life. Your words encouraged me to the upmost today. I’d been living every day always thinking that others were talking about me. I realize that this was only Satan’s way of keeping the guilt inside me. I’ve have decided there will be no more guilt and no more condemnation. I have approached that “throne of grace”, and God has spoken back to me. I feel His love and grace enveloping me today like never before and today I able to smile a genuine smile again. Thank you so much for being you!
Renee, your devotionals always hit home. Would love to study from your new book.
Great words…I needed that…sometimes the condemnation I place on myself is overwhelming and I don’t think I can recover so your words touched a cord with me.
What a wonderful word! I would love to read more?
Renee, honestly, I do not read every Proverbs 31 devotional that comes into my inbox. Today, the title drew me in. After a nasty church split, I’ve found myself riddled with doubts and fears. Although my husband and I have found a new church home, I’ve held back from ministry because of those doubts and fears. After reading your devotional, God spoke. He revealed that I’ve fallen back on my perfectionism, rather than putting my confidence in Him to guide me into ministry. I’ve put on armor that is not God’s armor. Shielding myself in making sure everything is perfect…I am perfect, (insert rueful laugh), before being used again has left me on the shelf. Thank you for your clear examples of the difference between condemnation and conviction. I’ve been walking in that condemnation too long. It’s time to turn my ear to what God is saying. Thank you.
One of the best things I’ve learned as a believer in Christ has been the difference between ‘conviction’ and ‘condemnation’. It has helped me to be able to minister ‘from love’ and not ‘for love’. Thank You Father that there is now no condemnation because I am in Christ and also for Your gentle conviction when I am not in line with what You want for me. Amen
Thank you for your words today. As mothers I think that we are the hardest people on ourselves. Nobody is perfect and we forget that sometimes. God is using you for good things. Bless you!
It is reassuring to think that no matter what our walk in life, we all have similar shortcomings, and thankfully, God has grace enough to cover each of us. Please enter me in your book give a way.
WOW! Such a great example. Thank you for reminding all of us that we are not perfect. Thank you for you daily inspiration.
I had a lot of darkness in my life and still do at times. It is good to know that other people have similar problems. For years I felt alone. Thank you for reaching out to other people and showing them God’s love.
Thank you for sharing that devotional, the Lord truly wanted me to read it today. I am not alone, another weakness I must ask the Lord to help me work on. Thank you for being you Renee. If I don’t win, I’ll make sure I purchase . Thank You,Suzan
Loved this devotion today! Most of all, I love the example of Grace the Women’s ministry director showed you. On both sides of the coin it resonates with me. 1) To show grace to people even when I don’t understand because God has shown grace to me. 2) That I am NOT perfect but God can use me anyway. Blessings!
I felt like I was ” eating” your words today!
Thank you for sharing your heart.
I feel as though God is bringing to me exactly what I need right now to grow in him.
I am trying to overcome 3 decades of verbal and emotional abuse from my husband and more recently, his emotional affair with the same woman with whom he had an EA 18 years ago. I have had such low self esteem for so long. I allowed myself to be treated like a doormat and took every fault he accused me of to heart, where they took root. I lashed back out at him for what he did instead of handing my lost confidence and respect and his infidelity and abuse over to God, and I said and did many things that I now regret. I have judged my husband on his anger, but yet justified my own. I lost my temper with my kids many times when they were younger, sometimes over the same things that I had done myself. I have done so many things that are ungodly — gossiped, judged, did not keep promises–I could go on and on. God’s grace, especially during this time of trying to reconnect with my husband after his last affair and the abuse I endured, has revealed to me my weaknesses and I am trying hard to work on ME and quit trying to fix everyone else. Your message was so helpful and comforting for me today. Thank you so much!
I will pray for you today Karen, keep your focus on God and his Word. Your not alone. God Bless you and have a Beautiful day. Suzan
Karen, I am also praying for you! I pray that you you can your pain and guilt and exchange them for love, mercy, and forgiveness!
Thank You for sharing this devotions with me, as a christian I struggle with guilt of not studying like I am suppose too especially since its NCAA season. But I have been making major progress and understanding that we must seek God First. I thank you and I look forward to reading more devotions and books from you. Blessings
Thank you for being real and being honest! It’s so wonderful to know we are not alone in our struggles.
I love how the Lord is always teaching me something new. God is Worthy of all of our praises!!!
God is merciful.
Fellow believers be merciful also.
We all have stuff we’re dealing with.
Smile because you never know who’s day you just may touch.
In HIM, Jacki 🙂
Thanks for sharing the story about losing with your kids. All too often my failure is in the same arena. It’s good to remember that these failures do not condemn me!!!
This devotional hit the spot this morning. God is good and knows exactly what we need to hear! You are a blessing.
This is one of my biggest problem areas…as a wife and mother of two young kids I have lost my cool so many times. Each time I am riddled with guilt and feel like I should just go to bed, pull up the covers and never leave…I needed to hear this today and would love to read this book!
Thank you so much for this devotional, this morning…it was exactly what I needed to hear! So grateful for the compassion and conviction brought by our Lord… while at the same time removing the condemnation we can be so quickly entrapped by! Blessings to you!
Thank you for sharing your gift of putting into words what so many of us need to hear.
You bless me daily.
A new devotional would be perfect for a fresh start every morning…
Thanks for the reminder that God is not done with me yet.
Thank you for your encouragement and being so open. God spoke to me through this devotion.
God is amazing. The grace and love shown over the past several months has been life changing. I’m not perfect and God loves me anyway. Oooo that could be a song!
Ha… I was hired to teach a parenting seminar this week at our church and I can not tell you how many times the thoughts have entered my head – doubt, fear, “you’re a fake”, you don’t know anything. Yet God just keeps showing up and showering me with great information to share. I love the part – that the ministry coordinator said to you- I need it just as much as the people I am teaching… I know I am a better parent every time I teach a class. Thanks for sharing this. I would love your devotional!
Needed this today 🙂
I read this before I even grabbed my coffe, and I’m so glad I did. Strange/crazy day yesterday. God bless and thank you for sharing!
I loved your devotional today!!! I am a pastor’s wife and sometimes it is a struggle to remember that I don’t have to be “perfect”, just ready to live and love others as Christ would have me do!
Thank you for reminding me that I am not the only one who reacts…asks forgiveness and then despite best intentions, does it again. I will keep striving in God’s grace. Thanks again.
Reading your post on Proverbs 31 this morning was the absolute best way to start my “second” morning. With being up all night with my 4 year old up crying all night for a reason we still do not know, to trying to console my 9 year old boy who is frustrated with the actions of a classmate, I am w-e-a-r-y. My husband left without a sweet “good-bye” and kiss from me, and all I could think about is how I am just failing in helping each of my ‘boys’ to start their day feeling loved. I sat down at my computer to look for an inspiring word from my daily emailed devotions, and Voila! your message was delivered in God’s perfect timing as I needed it this am in particular. I try to remember that the Holy Spirit convicts and the enemy condemns. Your message with how to determine this is priceless for me. I just printed it off so I have the reference with me. Joy is on the way!
Renee … you have no idea how much I needed to ‘hear’ this on this particular morning! I love that God speaks through women such as yourself and we receive these messages in our “inboxes” … ‘for such a time as this’ …….. and I agree … you can’t teach what you don’t ‘know’ 🙂
Thank you for this encouraging word. It definitely hit home. Thank God for His amazing grace!
I think when a leader is “real”, makes a bigger impact on people that they can relate to you & therefore will be more open to your teachings. Thank you for your open, honest struggles showing us all we are not alone. I’ve learned so much from P 31 ministries & am applying to my life, making imperfect progress.
I am always guilty in my mind. Anything that happens to my children, grandchildren or husband….I am the one to blame. In my own head. I am going through one of the hardest times in my life and reading your stories and devotionals have really helped.
Loved the book, would really enjoy the devotional! Thank you for sharing and for encouraging me!
Thank you for being so real in your blog and in the devotions you share. One of my biggest struggles is self-doubt, which leads to so much more. Your transparency makes me realize I’m not the only one and that it is OK.
Thanking God for the REMINDER & WAKE UP CALL that I am under construction…and not headed for destruction by the enemy. “Although guilt can make us give up on ourselves, God won’t. Instead, He offers to take what feels like destruction and use it for reconstruction in our journey with Him.” Today I am blessed by you! What a way to start my day…You have been my morning coffee !! Amen.
Thank you for sharing your weak moment. It is refreshing to know that others have experienced situations similar to our own. Your post was a great way to start a fresh new day.
I needed to hear that this morning as I am bringing my heart closer to God and to be more Godly each day. Each of us needs reminding that we are not perfect but we are still loved and will make mistakes along this jouney! This book would be sure to help me with my journey to get me through each day!
Thanks! What an AWESOME devotional to read first thing this morning! Thank you for your honesty and for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this. Knowing the difference between conviction and condemnation is very important. God’s voice is loving and perfect. His grace and mercy neverending.
Thank you for the message God gave you for me today. You said exactly what my counselor said about guilt is not from God. I struggle immensely with guilt and my thought patterns from the effects of abuse.