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Sometimes I wonder how I can go from being in such a good place with God … feeling peaceful, loving and patient.. but then something happens that sends me into an orbit of aggravation!!
It happened just the other day…
Things were going well. I’d had a lovely afternoon working from home. Alone. Life was peachy.
But then school got out and kids came home. Within 15 minutes of arrival, one of my boys did something and said something that wasn’t so peachy. Then he did NOT do something I’d asked him to do and let’s just say… I lost all my peace and patience right there in the middle of my kitchen.
I was not happy.at.all. And I let my precious boy know it in a not-so-nice kind of way.
Then I felt GUILTY and like the WORST MOM on the planet.
For a few minutes I was pretty sure that’s exactly how God wanted me to feel ~ so I wouldn’t act so ugly the next time.
But finally, after I’d almost convinced myself that I was the worst mom and had no business in ministry, I remembered something a pastor said about the difference between conviction and condemnation. He explained it like this:
Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements such as, You’re such a failure, You’re so hypocritical, or You can never be counted on. That is the accuser. His tone is condemning, questioning, and confusing. His accusations lead to guilt and shame.
But the Holy Spirit’s conviction will be specific. He will reveal a sinful action or attitude and instruct us on what we need to do to right the wrong: whether it’s restoring a broken relationship or returning something that isn’t ours. He’ll give us steps we need to take to change our behavior or attitude.
• Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
• Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.
• Instead of You can never be counted on, the Spirit might say, You didn’t keep your promise to go see your mom today. Call her to apologize and maybe set up a lunch date for this weekend.
Satan condemns accusingly, to make us feel guilty. God convicts lovingly, to lead our hearts to repentance. {tweet this?}
Jesus’ convictios draws us away from destructive behavior that hinders our relationship with Him and with others. His goal is to bring us out of the darkness of sin and back into the Light, so we can walk with Him in the freedom of forgiveness and the confidence of His love.
The next time we blow it or lose it, let’s ask Jesus to replace our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence, as we hold onto the promise that His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
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Dear Renee,
I’m sitting here in awe of how the Spirit led me to your devotional. Every since I got engaged and married 7 years ago, I have found I have anger issues and lose it with my husband, children, and family. My husband is also a pastor, and I try to live up to that pastorial wife image the world and myself created. I am about to go on a mission trip to Haiti and have been feeling unworthy and alone, like I’m the only pastor’s wife who has cursed out her husband or her children, whether aloud or in my thoughts. Along with this came doubts of God, Jesus, and my salvation, which happened 20 years ago. Why would I be struggling with issues if I’ve been a Christian for this long? Or at least the same issues? Why would I have not learned my lesson? Am I not a Christian? Other women are better than me! Why have I lived luke-warm? Does God want to spit me out of His mouth? Shouldn’t I be nearly perfect or have my life together by now? 🙂 all questions the enemy throws at me since giving my life over to my King. I understand why He led me to your post this morning, and so many others. Truly you spoke Jesus’ words of love and forgiveness to me. Thank you, Renee, for your words, blog, books, life, and testimony. He truly shines through you! Well done my good and faithful servant….<3
this sounds really good to me and just what I need to grow thankyou xx
Your words give me so much hope and remind me to focus on Jesus instead of the voice of the accuser. I have the poor choice of abortion in my past so there are days that Satan really try’s or bring me down. Especially since I have been leading a post abortion bible study. Thank you so much for your book, A Confident Heart. Many blessings to you!
I struggle with this daily. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for this devotional; not only what you wrote but also for this forum allowing for all the responses after. Sometimes it is not only the guilt I/the enemy pile(s) on but then I feel like I am on the only one that struggles with such things. While I am sorry that you and others out there struggle, I am grateful for your candid writing and hearing I am not alone…it helps depersonalize the enemy’s attack and highlight Gods grace. It was exactly what I needed to read this morning.
I’m so glad I found this site! Every day the devotionals hit home, but especially this one. I’m recently divorced and struggle with being “good enough” for a God to use. I’m slowly coming to realize that He will use me BECAUSE of what I’ve been through. I may have something to share that someone not divorced cannot understand. Thank you for the encouragement!
I enjoy reading your messages…they are always insightful and always give me confidence!
This scenario happens to me quite often I have been spending time in prayer asking God to work on my heart and make my words and my tone less harsh. Thanks for the devos.
Setting yourself out there, leading, often benefits you as much or more than those you minister to. We serve a generous God.
I know, I’m a guy and don’t belong here! This book would be for my struggling wife who so needs a touch of Gods grace in her life! Even though these devotionals are directed towards women I like to read them too, hope that doesn’t make me weird? God bless you all!
As I reflected on the devotional and on my life, I find that at times, when I am most in need of grace and help from God is when I shy away from His outstretched hand…..yes, probably because of guilt over a failure. It is great to be reminded that God extends his grace, mercy and forgiveness to me….to us, despite of our shortcomings.
I really needed to hear this today!
Thank you for sharing this. As soon as I finished reading this today, I closed my eyes and thanked the Lord for His Truth. I’m NOT too far gone in my messes. He CAN and WILL use me….in the midst of my yuck….to help and encourage others. Like you said, if you haven’t gone through something yourself, how qualified are you to help others going through those “somethings”?
Thank you for posting this. It brought me to a place of freedom in the midst of my mess, relief from the heavy chains of not feeling worthy, and a whispered “Yes Lord, use me” with surrendered hands wide open.
I know how it feels to be convicted, and full of God’s righteousness and then in a word, lose that feeling and end up feeling self-condemned because I failed to hold my tongue…again. I am my worst enemy and it took almost 40 years to learn that God loves me as I am. So great to read your stories and know that I am not alone here!
Yesterday I was upset with my daughter and said things that I should not have said. Instead of showing Gods grace and mercy I handled it in a very carnal way. Although she was wrong, I could have shown her Jesus in my speech. I will ask for forgiveness when she wakes up even if she does not forgive me. I do not want my prayers to be hindered for any unforgiveness. Thank you for reminding me this morning.
This was meant for me especially after this past weekend!!
It is reassuring to know that I am not the only one who struggles with these same thoughts and feelings. Often times, I “let myself down” because of my words or actions, and then I feel guilt and shame which is hard to shake. Thank you Renee for your transparency as you apply God’s Word in such a real and positive way! I need this message to be replayed over and over in my head! God Bless you sweet sister!
Great message! Reminds me if our pastor’s message of ‘crashing the chatterbox’-that voice of condemnation… Thank you for the reminder of His grace & mercy that is new each morning!
WOW! Thank you Jesus for using Renee’s devotional to speak to me this morning! Thank you for your gift of grace and mercy and for giving it to me when I need it! Thank you Renee for being “real” and allowing God to use you to speak to me this morning!
I really need a touch from the Holy Spirit. I constantly feel useless, a terrible mother, wife, daughter, servant, you name it. I know I’m God’s child and I shouldn’t feel this way but I do. Ever since I became a stay at home mom I’ve lost my identity. I know what I do is soooo important, I’m raising my son to serve God, what could be more important? But Satan constantly tells me because I’m not making money I’m useless. I know I’m valued in God’s eyes but I don’t feel it. Thank you so much for your encouragement, it gets me through my day on many days.