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Sometimes I wonder how I can go from being in such a good place with God … feeling peaceful, loving and patient.. but then something happens that sends me into an orbit of aggravation!!
It happened just the other day…
Things were going well. I’d had a lovely afternoon working from home. Alone. Life was peachy.
But then school got out and kids came home. Within 15 minutes of arrival, one of my boys did something and said something that wasn’t so peachy. Then he did NOT do something I’d asked him to do and let’s just say… I lost all my peace and patience right there in the middle of my kitchen.
I was not happy.at.all. And I let my precious boy know it in a not-so-nice kind of way.
Then I felt GUILTY and like the WORST MOM on the planet.
For a few minutes I was pretty sure that’s exactly how God wanted me to feel ~ so I wouldn’t act so ugly the next time.
But finally, after I’d almost convinced myself that I was the worst mom and had no business in ministry, I remembered something a pastor said about the difference between conviction and condemnation. He explained it like this:
Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements such as, You’re such a failure, You’re so hypocritical, or You can never be counted on. That is the accuser. His tone is condemning, questioning, and confusing. His accusations lead to guilt and shame.
But the Holy Spirit’s conviction will be specific. He will reveal a sinful action or attitude and instruct us on what we need to do to right the wrong: whether it’s restoring a broken relationship or returning something that isn’t ours. He’ll give us steps we need to take to change our behavior or attitude.
• Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
• Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.
• Instead of You can never be counted on, the Spirit might say, You didn’t keep your promise to go see your mom today. Call her to apologize and maybe set up a lunch date for this weekend.
Satan condemns accusingly, to make us feel guilty. God convicts lovingly, to lead our hearts to repentance. {tweet this?}
Jesus’ convictios draws us away from destructive behavior that hinders our relationship with Him and with others. His goal is to bring us out of the darkness of sin and back into the Light, so we can walk with Him in the freedom of forgiveness and the confidence of His love.
The next time we blow it or lose it, let’s ask Jesus to replace our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence, as we hold onto the promise that His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
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Your message today was timely in my life. So often we feel as women that we have to be perfect in order to be models for our children, and show the world that we have it all together. I am a home visitor working with families and babies, and recently “fell apart” at a reflective supervision time. It is group supervision, so I was laying myself open for ridicule and or judgement, but I have many difficult cases and one just tore at my heart and I could not hold all the feelings inside anymore. I felt some relief and support afterwards, but something I said during this made me realize just how tightly wrapped I have been…”I usually don’t cry at things like this in front of others”…Crying actually opens doors for God to enter…one of many places that He does without our knowing until afterwards…I have found this past year talking with God more each and every day…I started the “Stressed Less Living” series, but had difficulties with the computer blogging, so have the book and will go back to it again one day. But the one Bible verse I will always hold near and dear is Isaiah 41:10….Trusting God is what we all need to do, in spite of the place we find ourselves sitting. Thanks for your message and to others who share theirs each and every day.
Thank you for the encouragement!
I needed this today. I am so guilty of saying things to my children that I later regret!
Thank you so much for sharing this story. I can’t tell you how timely it is! I am in a support group/bible study at my church for women going through infertility. Recently, I was asked by our Director of Women’s Ministry if I would be interested and willing to step in to lead or co-lead the group starting this summer or fall. Well I told her I would pray about it, but inside I thought there was no way I could lead this group when I was in the thick of it, battling my way through some pretty tough times. Then last night after the group was over, the leader asked me if I would consider co-leading. Another prompting! I told her I would pray about it, but still wasn’t sure. And then this morning there is this story in my devotional time. Boy, when God nudges us, sometimes He whispers and sometimes He resorts to a swift kick in the rear! I suppose it’s time to step out in faith 🙂
What an eye opener today’s devotional is!! Thankful God is using you to speak to women.
I once told my pastor, I’m not good enough to teach. I’ll never forget, he said when you think you’re good enough, that’s when we have a problem. We are never good enough, but Jesus is. So grateful for His grace. Your experience is a great reminder of this. His power, not ours!
Hi Renee,
I do enjoy that you allow us into your reality. Many times, people assume because you are in ministry that you don’t have those moments where a (beep) comes out. 🙂 Transparency coupled with God’s grace yields a freedom in knowing that He still loves us in our imperfections. Blessings.
Knowing the difference between condemnation & conviction is very enlightening. Now I can identify what my actions & thoughts should be when faced with feeling guilty.
Oh, how God has used you this morning! Your words on grace-infused confidence have touched my heart deeply. I deperately needed to hear your words! God has used your “realness” to speak to me and tell me just what I needed! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! May God bless you and continue to use you!!
I literally just wrote in my journal about not being godly enough or cut out for ministry…I quit. then I open up my encouragement for the day to find the title, ‘no more guilt induced doubt’. thanks, may I accept His a Grace with confidence in my time of need.
Wow! This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Distinguishing between condemnation and conviction is key to living a joyful and grace-filled Christian life, I think. Thanks for your post. This is my first time here, but I’ll be back. 🙂
How often have I fallen short and allowed my internal voice to beat me up over it & then probably miss God’s blessing? Thank you Renee for this reminder- we aren’t perfect & yet God can use our imperfections to reach others- that we are right there with them. Instead of being on a stage or pedestal you become one of the girls sitting & having coffee- someone they can relate to because they’ve been there too. Sometimes I strive so hard to be perfect that I miss the point- I so needed this reminder. Thank you for sharing.
Ive struggled with self condemnation for years. Reading about your struggles with your own shortcomings helps me to know Im not alone. Thank you.
Wow – that really resonated with me today. I have a 15 year old special needs daughter who is full of joy outside of my house and I can see God’s work in her when I see her interact with others. At home however, she is a four year old with the hormones and defiance you might expect from a normal teenager. I am not always graceful when I respond to negative behaviors and that always comes with guilt when I loose it. I like the definition of conviction verses condemnation – God continues to give me grace and mercy every day.
Wonderful reminder that those teaching and those being taught are not that different. May we always share the same mercy and grace for others that our Savior shows each of us!
This was Perfect timing.
I love the explanation between conviction and condemnation. It is so easy to put ourselves down but not to realize that it is not what God wants to do. Thank you for sharing today. I really liked your message.
I have just signed up to go on my first missions trip ever at 65 and I am so relying on HIS grace to be with and use me for HIS perfect will in Honduras. I know I am inadequate but that his strength will sustain me in each situation. Yes, I have doubts, but TRUSTing in Him will give me the confidence I need. Now if I can just do it?
First timer here. Thank you for being transparent, because your struggles are also mine. Though not in the ministry, I hope to minister to those I’m in contact with on a daily basis.
I have recently purchased your book and would love the devotion to go along with it. As a mom, working full-time in the local church I constantly feel the pain of not being good enough and insecurity runs deep. So looking forward to getting into your book!
Thank You for such an inspiring message. Everyday I realize Again that I’m only human and I am a child of God!
Self-condemnation is something I have lived with for years since the death of my son. Unfortunately, my other two children have had to live with this as well. I have learned through staying in His word that His graciousness is our salvation. All of the heavy burdens and guilt, He takes from us and reconstructs us daily. P31 is a part of my daily devotions and this one spoke volumes to my heart this morning. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Renee, this was amazing. Blanket statements are easy to make because it’s easier to color over someone with a broad stroke than to get to know all of someone’s true colors. God never created us to be one dimensional and doesn’t deal with us in a “all or nothing” way. I’m thankful for this reminder and that the Spirit does not condemn, but rather convict with love and guidance. Amen!
sometimes i feel like giving up but i know i can’t i pray every day, i know i can’t do this on my own i need his help.
I can so relate, and so appreciate your honesty in your book “A Confident Heart.”
For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. None of us is perfect..
Great message! I’m a pro about feeling guilty, dwelling on it and bringing myself down. My word this year is “trust”. Learning to believe God and to trust Him. It’s hard! As I am trying to change, Satan is doing his best to keep me feeling guilty. Thanks Renae for this message!
This is my very 1st time on your page. Thank you for being obedient and ‘putting things out there’. I believe we all have those moments of guilt and shame (I know I sure have!)… but the more we know ‘who’s’ we are.. the quicker those thoughts (and yes.. that’s all they are.. stupid, unfounded thoughts!) are replaced with HIS grace and mercy.
Thank you for being ‘real’. I am looking forward to browsing the rest of your site and keeping plugged in.
May God continue to bless you and your family.. as you step, know that HE is the light unto your feet.
Sometimes I feel like such a failure, that I promise God to do better then I stumble and fall again. I am so thankful for His grace and mercy. I always feel like I’m the only one that continuously fails him, obviously I am not. I’m so blessed to have friends to pray for me and continue to believe in me.
Its amazing how God speaks to me every single day through psalm 31 ministries. every single day i battle with self doubt and fear. i am surrounded by highly intelligent people (siblings, work colleagues, etc ) and then there’s me..always been called slow and never seem to be able achieve anything. this made me feel like i’m the victim of some sick joke. for as long as i can remember, i have felt worthless and unworthy and have made a lot of wrong choices based on these feelings. I am usually defensive and snap easily at people, and then i feel so guilty for doing so, etc. Its a battle but i know God is in control and wont give up.
God bless!!
Thank you so much for sharing your very human normal experiences! The words of grace spoken to you are powerful for me to hear!
Thank you so much for allowing the Lord to use you to deliver that message to me. I have prayed a lot recently for me to hear God’s voice and be able to determine if it was doubt being used by the liar or a message from God. I so needed to hear that explanation. Thanks again. I would absolutely love to be blessed with a copy of your devotional:) God bless!
I had a come to Jesus moment with my three kids this morning as I had to be at work early! I did repent out loud and felt as if 400lbs has been lifted! Thank you for sharing this today! #blessed
Thank you for this post. I needed to read and hear this today!
Thank you so much for your devotion today. Your story with your son and husband could have been my own story. I have so many of those moments and when they happen I feel terrible and guilty and like I have no business having the blessing of my family. I appreciate your words about the difference of conviction by the Holy Spirit vs. condemnation. I fear that the guilt and condemnation I have for myself will be passed down to my kids. I’d ask for prayer to help recognize those times I’m condemning so that God’s grace can fill me up. Again, thank you for your honesty and encouragement!
It never fails that when I need to hear “Him” something always jumps off the page of one of your stories. I love what you all do at Proverbs 31 Ministries. It’s always refreshing when I get into work and realize I am not alone in this world. Thank you for all you do…
What an amazing message today, as I am getting married in 3 days and have been finding myself wondering if I can be the Godly wife my future husband deserves. This message was so freeing and inspiring, just what I needed. It’s amazing how in the throws of life, distractions can shift our thinking from truth to lies without our awareness! Thank God for special women and devotionals to refocus our minds and our hearts.
I love your honest and heartfelt blogs! We are all a work in progress and in need of God’s grace and mercy. I too feel the guilt when I realize my thoughts, words, or actions haven’t measured up to God’s standards. It is comforting to know that when I confess my sins, I know God is faithful and will forgive me.
This message spoke to me! I have struggled with this my whole life! Thank you for clearing this up for me. It is so freeing to realize that God has been speaking to me as to what to do and the condemnation can finally stop! I pray that this message blesses everyone that reads it!
This is so true! I just recently experienced God’s amazing grace in this manner. I’ve been a Christian for over 35 years, but I’m still learning how to conduct myself in ways that please my Father. I’m so glad that He does send His Spirit of condemnation when we stray, it’s so much better than having the non-specific guilt. And it’s great knowing the difference between the two. I’m still learning how to not let the world or other Christians guilt me into things, but now I recognize more when God is bringing something to my attention that needs to be changed.
His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness…. This statement right here is absolutely amazing and sums up everything that I needed to hear. I have been trying so hard to focus my girls lives on being happy, leaning on God and letting go of guilt in bad situations. Its not easy when you were raised in a home where I was constantly being pressured with guilt over big or little things. Please enter me to be in the drawing for the devotional! Thank you, have a blessed day 🙂
Hi Renee! I want to live out Proverbs 31 to the fullest. I try to take every verse from 10-31 and make it practical for today and for my situation. Yes, I admit, I am very legalistic sometimes. My hubby had to lead me into the principle that just because It says, “She rises while it is yet night” did not mean that GOD wanted me to hurt myself in the long run if I had not gotten enough sleep the night before. She also “keeps her arms strong for her tasks.” He reminded me that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I am so thankful for a wise husband. 🙂 I’ve struggled with guilt when it comes to the verse, “she looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” So many times I have seen something that should be done NOW, and I have to admit I have neglected those things. “I’m just too tired to do this. I’ll come back to it later.” Sometimes (most of the time in my situation), it is a ploy of the devil. It reminds me of the verse in Proverbs where it talks about this man going past someone’s house and seeing how the weeds had grown up and everything. That reminds me of my domestic downfalls sometimes. You know, I saw in the fridge back some time ago how a good bit of something had gone to waste, and I felt so awful. My husband works so hard, and now look at the “waste of the fruits of his hands.” Oh, how I want the precious heart of my husband to trust me that there will be no “food spoil”, either. GOD spoke to me and said, “Better some wasted food than a wasted life”, and just encouraged me to keep trying to improve. I must admit, I have a tendency to forget about left-overs, even when I am looking directly into the fridge. 🙁 Praise the LORD for infinite mercy and grace! Thank you so much for your devotional this morning. Much Love, Angie
Oh, what would we do without grace? Very inspiring. God never calls the qualified. He qualifies those He calls through His grace.
Wonderful devotion topic. I know I struggle with this same issue often and you naiked it perfectly. Thank you.
I grew up in a home that focused on guilt. I am trying desperately to break that chain with my own children. I realized i can’t break it with them until I have realized I can walk with freedom. God is chaging my heart to receive grace instead of guilt!
This is a blessing to read and comes at just the right time. As usual Gods grace isalways on time. I would love to own a copy ofthe awesome book. I’ve experienced that guilt induced doubt plenty of times and im ready to move on from those times and be filled by Gods grace infused confidence. Praise God that He freely gives and offers us Grace rime and time again even when we dont deserve it. Thank you Lord Jesus.
I so appreciate what you say about guilt and where it originates. I’m a pastor’s wife and I live with guilt more than I’d like. I know that the Liar’s attempt to make me feel unworthy is just a scheme, but I get drawn into it often. I will look for God’s convicting in my circumstances, not Satan’s way of condemning. Thanks!
Your devotional on P31 resonated with me totally! How many times I blow it! How many times I hear those words of the accuser, “you are an awful mom!” Thanks for your words. I am so grateful for the Grace of God with me! May I extend the same to others.
Thank you for your words of encouragement and sharing a testimony of God’s goodness! This is exactly what I needed to begin my day today!
Thank you for sharing the difference between condemnation and conviction. So often we listen to the destroyer rather than the Redeemer.
Thank you so much for being so honest! I often feel like the worst mom and wife when I lose my patience and yell at my kids and husband! It’s nice to know I am not alone and that God’s grace is sufficient!