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Sometimes I wonder how I can go from being in such a good place with God … feeling peaceful, loving and patient.. but then something happens that sends me into an orbit of aggravation!!
It happened just the other day…
Things were going well. I’d had a lovely afternoon working from home. Alone. Life was peachy.
But then school got out and kids came home. Within 15 minutes of arrival, one of my boys did something and said something that wasn’t so peachy. Then he did NOT do something I’d asked him to do and let’s just say… I lost all my peace and patience right there in the middle of my kitchen.
I was not happy.at.all. And I let my precious boy know it in a not-so-nice kind of way.
Then I felt GUILTY and like the WORST MOM on the planet.
For a few minutes I was pretty sure that’s exactly how God wanted me to feel ~ so I wouldn’t act so ugly the next time.
But finally, after I’d almost convinced myself that I was the worst mom and had no business in ministry, I remembered something a pastor said about the difference between conviction and condemnation. He explained it like this:
Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements such as, You’re such a failure, You’re so hypocritical, or You can never be counted on. That is the accuser. His tone is condemning, questioning, and confusing. His accusations lead to guilt and shame.
But the Holy Spirit’s conviction will be specific. He will reveal a sinful action or attitude and instruct us on what we need to do to right the wrong: whether it’s restoring a broken relationship or returning something that isn’t ours. He’ll give us steps we need to take to change our behavior or attitude.
• Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
• Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.
• Instead of You can never be counted on, the Spirit might say, You didn’t keep your promise to go see your mom today. Call her to apologize and maybe set up a lunch date for this weekend.
Satan condemns accusingly, to make us feel guilty. God convicts lovingly, to lead our hearts to repentance. {tweet this?}
Jesus’ convictios draws us away from destructive behavior that hinders our relationship with Him and with others. His goal is to bring us out of the darkness of sin and back into the Light, so we can walk with Him in the freedom of forgiveness and the confidence of His love.
The next time we blow it or lose it, let’s ask Jesus to replace our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence, as we hold onto the promise that His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
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Thanks! To have never met you, it sounds like you know me pretty well!! LOL I totally identify with todays blog. I really appreciate the explanation of condemnation and conviction. Again, Thanks!
Well, it felt comforting to know i am not the only one who goes throught this, i thank you to being honest, so as well i know there are others going throught the same way, at times it is hard to come out being foward on it , for the reason of being judged on, however it motivated me in to do as GOD says to be and to take action too, that its ok, just repeat ask for forgiveness to him and not to hold back on what GOD was for you , us. GOD BLESS YOU AND THE MINISTRY, its a true blessing for me. 🙂
Wow, I really needed this today !!! I also just started a study of Hebrews today,
I have been the bad Mother, Wife and Friend. Your blog tells me to regroup, apologize and try to do better. I know God will be with me every step of the way. I need to count on his strength. I need to make more room for God in my heart. I can’t change without God’s help. I welcome God into my heart and my life today, tomorrow and always. Thank you God for being there with me.
I have heard this saying “May God wrap his arm around my shoulder, and put his hand over my mouth.” I need God’s strength to control my anger and the words that fly out of my mouth. I need to stop and think before I open my mouth. I have hurt to many loved ones by not stopping and thinking before I speak. God is helping me with this personal challenge. Thanks Be to God!
I have so often felt that I am not worthy to be a “leader”. It is like the devil has camped out on my shoulder and is constantly whispering in my ear statements of condemnation. These statements are echoed by my children when they don’t like my answer and my students don’t seem to know how to do anything but condemn my efforts to help them. After all this, I tend to jump on the same bandwagon and tell myself that I have fallen short. I am desperately in need of God’s compassionate love. As I learn to turn my thoughts toward who God says I am, I can hear his grace-filled words and I don’t feel like such a failure! Thank you for sharing your heart.
Today was a “worst mama ever” moment for me! I kept thinking how I was such a failure as a mom. Your timely devotion was just what I needed. I may have to print it out and keep it handy for future “worst mama” days! Thank you so much!
Thanks! I must not be so critical when facing an issue. I need to seek confidence and I must speak His truth with compassion without offending. Lord help me!
Todays devotion helped remind me that I continually need to stay in His word and know that He loves me unconditionally. He has been leading me to work in the children’s ministry. As much as I come up with excuses He reminds me that He will lead me.
Thank you for your continued perseverance in helping all of us women stay on track with God and all of your encouragement! 🙂 Have a blessed day!
I just love your book! I have taken notes & re read it several times. Thank you for your honesty & vulnerability to let The Lord use you.
Kerrie, Clovis, CA
Your note was an encouragement to me. When I wrote “A Confident Heart” I prayed that women would read it again and again and keep it close by to remember every truth He had me put in it because I know how much my heart needs to know those promises again and again.
Thanks to my friend Sonia for sharing this today. Truly what I needed to read and hear today! I have beating myself up so much lately with guilt induced doubt, this is exactly what I needed today! Thanks so much!
I was truly blessed by your today’s devotion.
I’m a little overwhelmed in a good yet heart-stretching way by your responses. Im so grateful Jesus knew and nudged my heart to share what He did – in my devotion and here in this post. And sweet friends, Im praying over each of your hearts and your words. I’ve been reading your comments and praying since 7:30 this morning when already over 150 of you had shared your thoughts and been so vulnerable and real with me and with each other…
So grateful we have this space to share. To look at each other across the screen (in a virtual kind of way) and say: You.Are.Not.Alone.
(we) are in this together, with each other and with our sweet Father who moved Heaven and earth to set us free from the chains of guilt. Through the lavish gift of His grace – in Christ -and then through His continual outpouring of LOVE through His spirit.
Honestly, I knew I struggled with this, but didn’t realize how much we (all) struggle with guilt. Thank you for taking time today to say ~ me too.
I feel so inadequate teaching sometimes…because of exactly what was in this devotional. It so spoke to my very core. I know God has heard my prayers. It was not by accident that I got to see this today. I desperately needed this today.
A confident heart, found in Jesus in me and flowing through his grace and our growth as me move closer to Him. Everyone struggles with self doubt, but if we remember that greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world, we know that our confidence rests in who God made us to be and in the power He gave us through the Holy Spirit!
God’s timing is PERFECT!! Thanks for sharing
Wow – thank you for this insight. I have struggled so many times with condemnation, and felt like I will never be good enough in many areas of my life. Thank you for the encouragement today!
My thoughts are that grace is ever surprising me. In moments like this where I’m not the best mom I feel I should be, or the best wife, friend, bible-study-sister, etc…I realize that if grace wasn’t intended for EVERYONE, we’d all be magically “perfect” and extremely FAKE. I find it such a blessing that Guilt and Grace go together. And I know I’m walking more confidently to the throne with each step of my journey in the life because the faster that my heart feels the guilt, I know I’m getting stronger at realizing it and can accept the grace faster too. Whether I believe I deserve grace or not, in that moment, I know it’s readily there for me if I chose to admit the guilt, and extend grace outwards to others.
Every time I write a faith blog, or speak or share, I feel that nagging self-doubt of who are YOU? I will never feel good enough..I have to be conscious that its God’s goodness and not mine that take over, and despite my best attempt, can use whatever I do, good or disastrous to further His message.
I blew up at my son recently over a small and insignificant matter, but I was able to apologize pretty quickly. I am going through a recurrence of cancer and start chemo Friday. Thankfully, I have great faith in God and his care and provision for me, but I’m still human and will fall down. It’s good to connect with you all to share the stuggles and victories. God’s grace is sufficient.
It is a nice reminder to know that we don’t have to earn Gods love and He is the one that can “fix us” not ourselves. We just need to always go to God with our troubles. Praise God!