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Sometimes I wonder how I can go from being in such a good place with God … feeling peaceful, loving and patient.. but then something happens that sends me into an orbit of aggravation!!
It happened just the other day…
Things were going well. I’d had a lovely afternoon working from home. Alone. Life was peachy.
But then school got out and kids came home. Within 15 minutes of arrival, one of my boys did something and said something that wasn’t so peachy. Then he did NOT do something I’d asked him to do and let’s just say… I lost all my peace and patience right there in the middle of my kitchen.
I was not happy.at.all. And I let my precious boy know it in a not-so-nice kind of way.
Then I felt GUILTY and like the WORST MOM on the planet.
For a few minutes I was pretty sure that’s exactly how God wanted me to feel ~ so I wouldn’t act so ugly the next time.
But finally, after I’d almost convinced myself that I was the worst mom and had no business in ministry, I remembered something a pastor said about the difference between conviction and condemnation. He explained it like this:
Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements such as, You’re such a failure, You’re so hypocritical, or You can never be counted on. That is the accuser. His tone is condemning, questioning, and confusing. His accusations lead to guilt and shame.
But the Holy Spirit’s conviction will be specific. He will reveal a sinful action or attitude and instruct us on what we need to do to right the wrong: whether it’s restoring a broken relationship or returning something that isn’t ours. He’ll give us steps we need to take to change our behavior or attitude.
• Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
• Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.
• Instead of You can never be counted on, the Spirit might say, You didn’t keep your promise to go see your mom today. Call her to apologize and maybe set up a lunch date for this weekend.
Satan condemns accusingly, to make us feel guilty. God convicts lovingly, to lead our hearts to repentance. {tweet this?}
Jesus’ convictios draws us away from destructive behavior that hinders our relationship with Him and with others. His goal is to bring us out of the darkness of sin and back into the Light, so we can walk with Him in the freedom of forgiveness and the confidence of His love.
The next time we blow it or lose it, let’s ask Jesus to replace our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence, as we hold onto the promise that His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
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This is so true and so applicable for me today! Self induced guilt and doubt can be our own worst enemy that Satan can use against us.
We must remind ourselves that we are daughters of the King and He loves us despite our struggles.
This is so timely for me. I constantly find myself snapping at my husband and my kids and the wallowing in the guilt afterwards. It’s something I’m working on and the Lord is helping me.
My favorite line: His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
I almost died 3 times in the past 2 years. I went from being on the worship team, leading the women’s ministry, starting a free health clinic, substitute teaching, being a wife & mommy of 4 to a sick mess for 3 years. I thought I was doing the right thing by not talking about how sick I was or what was going on with me. But I’ve realized that I wasn’t doing the right thing because I wasn’t speaking the good things of the Gospel over me. I was bearing in silence the illnesses instead of rejoicing out loud the healing. I am doing great now thanks to God’s grace. I look forward to everyday so that I can speak blessings & God’s love into people. My family suffered the most with my husband watching his wife wither away & my children not having a healthy mom to take care of them. Today I am focused on being that Proverbs 31 woman!
Ephesians 6:12-13. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.”
Satan wants us to fail and feel terrible about ourselves. Christ wants us to stand tall with him and defeat those whirlings of doubt which in turn lead to bad feelings that expose themselves to us throughout our day. The armour, I am learning, is Christ’s word and a relationship with him.
You are such a blessing!!! I have those moments way too often!!! It’s so reassuring to be reminded that our Father understands that we are gonna slip up sometimes. Would love to have your devotional!
I am divorced, then i became a widow after an 8 year marriage, then i was abandoned by an abusive, manipulative, fraudulent man. After my divorce i was certain God forgives and that i could overcome the stigma attached to divorce and live a Godly life for my children. Now after all of that i feel like a failure and worry each and every day about my children. God has definately been real in my life, always there through every struggle. I have never lost my faith or doubted God and know i’m blessed that my children have seen that. However that nagging doubt, that feeling of failure of me being the wonderful mother, wife, daughter etc. is oh so near.
I read your Proverbs 31 devotional today while sitting in a doctors’ waiting room awaiting the prognosis of some tests…I had convinced myself that poor decisions I’d made for 2 years (though at the time I thought those were decisions that were best for my family but proved to be just opposite of what I should have done) were going to have negative consequences for the rest of my life because that’s what I deserved. But I read the verse in Hebrews 4:16 and it hit me between the eyes that God’s mercy could extend past my choices. And in my time of need, I received this morning at the doctors’ office, a huge answer to many prayers.
Renee, You make it so easy to understand conviction vs. condemnation! I am working to come before God confidently and boldly. Thank you for touching so many of us with your writing. And thank you for not being perfect, so that God can make perfect your, and His, message to us! 🙂
Thank you Karen. I never thought I’d be so grateful for my imperfections. But I am today. His grace is so good.
Thank you from the bottom of my weary heart. Your words refreshed and calmed me today by reminding me of our Father’s love and grace. A reminder that was sorely needed!
Wow, I needed to hear that today and would love to learn more on this subject.
It has been such a hard month…so much hurt, intentional…..that I am so upset, angry, crying out, tired of struggling for so long…thank you I was feeling like a dirty Christian …not called…and your message resonated with me…I need it….there are so few Christians who truly care….I am so tired of being ignored….thank you….
I used to be so bad at condemning myself and having very unworthy thoughts until I realized that people not only want to here my story but that I have provided hope to those who thought they were at there end. Now when I feel like a failure I give it up to Him and ask Him to provide me a way to help others with it and show His love. Blessings!
It’s always good to know that no matter how much we feel we “fail” in every day life, that God is always there to pick us up, dust us off, and keep us going.
As I read the Prov 31 article today, this hit home big time. I was on my way to Bible Study this morning (running late, driving like a maniac, catching every red light on the way and grumbling under my breath at the grocery store while trying to get a pot of flowers for the table that I was supposed to set up for our monthly brunch), it occurred to me that I am not living like Jesus acting like this (on my way to “bless the ladies in my small group”.) What a joke I am and what growth I still need! But that is the point…we aren’t perfect, but God is and He loves us and can use us anyway. He can grow us IN that situation by revealing to us what we need work on and that He loves us regardless of our flaws and (outbursts) and He can use us as we are…to encourage others, to be “real” with one another so that we can relate to each other and work on our flaws (with His strength and grace). Praise God for His amazing grace and mercy!
God had been working on my heart in this area lately and I definitely needed to read this today.
It’s amazing how God knows just what I need to hear on any given day. Thank you so much for your blog. Not feeling worthy has always been an issue for me and I’m over 70 years old. I am trying not to listen to the negative remarks I hear and just concentrate on the positive. That I am a child of God and that He isn’t finished with me yet.
your message hit me like a ton of bircks! I have been allowing satan to run my thoughts as I scream at my 5 grandchildren (which I do a lot when they act out, which is all the time. Coming from a split home due to drugs, they all have special needs) I nended to hear the story about how your kids getting home made you feel worthless, because I let satan do the same thing to me! Next time, I will try to remember to go to Jesus for instruction and grace.
Thank you for an uplifting and thought provoking lesson. God is so good all the time!
I alway feel unworthy to be God’s messenger, I have the Confident Heart book and look forward to the devotional.
I have experienced “Mommy guilt” lots of times! I love the grace I get from God, and I pray that I myself can share His grace with those around me.
I LOVE your book, Renee, thank you so much for sharing your story with the world and giving us all hope!