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Sometimes I wonder how I can go from being in such a good place with God … feeling peaceful, loving and patient.. but then something happens that sends me into an orbit of aggravation!!
It happened just the other day…
Things were going well. I’d had a lovely afternoon working from home. Alone. Life was peachy.
But then school got out and kids came home. Within 15 minutes of arrival, one of my boys did something and said something that wasn’t so peachy. Then he did NOT do something I’d asked him to do and let’s just say… I lost all my peace and patience right there in the middle of my kitchen.
I was not happy.at.all. And I let my precious boy know it in a not-so-nice kind of way.
Then I felt GUILTY and like the WORST MOM on the planet.
For a few minutes I was pretty sure that’s exactly how God wanted me to feel ~ so I wouldn’t act so ugly the next time.
But finally, after I’d almost convinced myself that I was the worst mom and had no business in ministry, I remembered something a pastor said about the difference between conviction and condemnation. He explained it like this:
Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements such as, You’re such a failure, You’re so hypocritical, or You can never be counted on. That is the accuser. His tone is condemning, questioning, and confusing. His accusations lead to guilt and shame.
But the Holy Spirit’s conviction will be specific. He will reveal a sinful action or attitude and instruct us on what we need to do to right the wrong: whether it’s restoring a broken relationship or returning something that isn’t ours. He’ll give us steps we need to take to change our behavior or attitude.
• Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
• Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.
• Instead of You can never be counted on, the Spirit might say, You didn’t keep your promise to go see your mom today. Call her to apologize and maybe set up a lunch date for this weekend.
Satan condemns accusingly, to make us feel guilty. God convicts lovingly, to lead our hearts to repentance. {tweet this?}
Jesus’ convictios draws us away from destructive behavior that hinders our relationship with Him and with others. His goal is to bring us out of the darkness of sin and back into the Light, so we can walk with Him in the freedom of forgiveness and the confidence of His love.
The next time we blow it or lose it, let’s ask Jesus to replace our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence, as we hold onto the promise that His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
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“APPROACH GOD’S THRONE OF GRACE WITH CONFIDENCE…” Feeling anything but. I know, I know, I know that God is merciful, I will not allow the Devil the upper hand. Sometimes, just slipping, so low.
This hit me spot on! I pray I am able to make a change
Guilt and unworthiness plague me. Your post today spoke such life to me. My husband travels weeks, sometimes months at a time and I’m finding solo-parenting to be a huge struggle and I fail everyday. Letting the doubt, guilt, and unworthiness in only perpetuates the downward spiral. thank you for addressing this issue with honesty!!
I have the condemnation down pat! But operating out of “fear/anger” mindset afterward, doesn’t always lend itself to the lifestyle change required by conviction. I pray that I will operate from a mindset of conviction, not the fear and anger of condemnation.
Renee,
Thank you for the post today! It really moved me to see that God still wants to use us in spite of our flaws…perhaps even because of our flaws. This shows the world that God can save and use anyone, at anytime, and that one person is no more qualified than the other to serve Him.
Thank you for sharing your heart and experience! Sometimes we have slips, like the one that your child overheard you say to your husband. I commend and appreciate your honesty, as we all can relate to having said things we know we shouldn’t. You illuminated that we can go to God and ask forgiveness, and He’s ready to forgive us and get us back on track! He’s awesome!
Thanks again,
Kayla Perkins
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Thanks for sharing. It is nice to know that other people struggle with the same issues.
I loved reading your book “A Confident Heart” and reading your devotionals. They are SO real and contain such nuggets of truth and the good news of Christ. I struggle with doubt and my worthiness to do what God calls me to do.
It’s so nice to be reminded that we are all human and fail sometimes, even those we consider above it all.
My son and daughter went away for a Science program last weekend and their groups did really well in their presentation. I picked them up and they were exhausted but very happy about their experience. I noticed my daughter had a nice book bag from the program and my son didn’t. I asked him why he didn’t and he gave me a very nonchalant response “I didn’t take mine because I do not need it”. I was livid at this point and I yelled at him and called himself. If he didn’t need it, his younger siblings (twins) could certainly use and he didn’t seem to care or be bothered by me. I was driving and yelling at him and he turned to me and said “Get out of my face”. I was mad and enraged, I immediately developed a lot of anger and resentment towards, I am still having a hard time with this whole situation and I do need God to help me move past this anger, it is consuming me.
So glad to know that I am not the only one who screams at my kids and then instantly feels guilty about it and like I am the world’s worst mom! I would love to win a copy of your book! I am always looking for new devotional book to help guide me through this crazy world we live in!
This message hit right at home with me this day. I had to sit back and reread some areas in this message. Shut my mouth, the Lord clearly said I’ll never leave you nor forsake you. Here is a message for you and you are not the only one. Thank You, Father! I’m getting better with this but still need more work. Forgiveness is so powerful and freeing.
As I have read the previous messages, a song comes to my mind. Love Lifted Me. It is sung in a many of churches and God’s love continues to surrounds and lift us up. Thank you Lord and Renee for this message.
Wow! loved this post, thank you for giving specific examples – I will be using this one often:
Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
I am so thankful that God convicts lovingly. He truly wants what is BEST for each of us, and He disciplines those He loves. Thank you for your efforts – may God be glorified through them!
For years I have struggled with the cartoon image of the devil on one shoulder and angel on the other whispering into my ear, my head turning back and forth in the volley of messages competing for my reactions and responses. It created doubt and shame, as if I were spanked. But since I have been reborn, and eager to learn the truths of God’s Word, seeking a relationship with Him, I am able to boldly and confidently knock that deceiver cartoon devil off my shoulder! And yes, there are times I am convicted and it feels as if I need to be put in a time out, but it is always lovingly followed with a hug and redirection. Thank you, Abba, and Renee for your messages on Proverbs 31 that are teaching me, and leading me into a Confident Heart.
A friend & I are reading & studying through the book A Confident Heart together. Would love the devotional book as a companion to the work we are doing.
Thank you. I needed this. God bless
Thank You so much for sharing. I struggle so much with guilt & not having the right thoughts. It’s good to know that I’m not alone.
While scrolling around on the p31 website, I clicked on your link to find this blog and a related recourse with it. No doubt God led me here to read this. Thank you for sharing this so openly and honestly. This will help me with my walk with God. If its meant to be I pray that I will receive this book. Thank you again for sharing Christ’s love with us women and to know that many of us face the same struggles. You’re a blessing!
Thank you for sharing your message. Guilt is ingrained in so many women but we just need to hold to God’s love to find our peace.
Thank you for this devotional. It was what I really needed to hear. I thank you that God spoke to me through this. I have a ladies get together once a month and I wonder how I can do this when I fail so many times. I know that this IS what God wants me to do but Satan is always putting douts in my head. God is so good and He gives us just what we need to hear at just the right time.