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Sometimes I wonder how I can go from being in such a good place with God … feeling peaceful, loving and patient.. but then something happens that sends me into an orbit of aggravation!!
It happened just the other day…
Things were going well. I’d had a lovely afternoon working from home. Alone. Life was peachy.
But then school got out and kids came home. Within 15 minutes of arrival, one of my boys did something and said something that wasn’t so peachy. Then he did NOT do something I’d asked him to do and let’s just say… I lost all my peace and patience right there in the middle of my kitchen.
I was not happy.at.all. And I let my precious boy know it in a not-so-nice kind of way.
Then I felt GUILTY and like the WORST MOM on the planet.
For a few minutes I was pretty sure that’s exactly how God wanted me to feel ~ so I wouldn’t act so ugly the next time.
But finally, after I’d almost convinced myself that I was the worst mom and had no business in ministry, I remembered something a pastor said about the difference between conviction and condemnation. He explained it like this:
Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements such as, You’re such a failure, You’re so hypocritical, or You can never be counted on. That is the accuser. His tone is condemning, questioning, and confusing. His accusations lead to guilt and shame.
But the Holy Spirit’s conviction will be specific. He will reveal a sinful action or attitude and instruct us on what we need to do to right the wrong: whether it’s restoring a broken relationship or returning something that isn’t ours. He’ll give us steps we need to take to change our behavior or attitude.
• Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
• Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.
• Instead of You can never be counted on, the Spirit might say, You didn’t keep your promise to go see your mom today. Call her to apologize and maybe set up a lunch date for this weekend.
Satan condemns accusingly, to make us feel guilty. God convicts lovingly, to lead our hearts to repentance. {tweet this?}
Jesus’ convictios draws us away from destructive behavior that hinders our relationship with Him and with others. His goal is to bring us out of the darkness of sin and back into the Light, so we can walk with Him in the freedom of forgiveness and the confidence of His love.
The next time we blow it or lose it, let’s ask Jesus to replace our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence, as we hold onto the promise that His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
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I was drawn to your honesty in the devotional I read morning on bible gateway.
Thank you for being real with us!
I am so thankful to read today that God can still use me in spite of my failures. I have always loved serving the Lord and tried to do so with my family, church, etc., but when you feel like you have fallen short and trials come, you feel like you can not be effective. The verse you shared that we can approach Gods throne boldly and find grace in time of need, helped me not too long ago, when I was desperately needing Gods strength and help (which has been the norm lately). I truly needed the words that He can still use me .
WOW! Each devotion that I read “hits the spot” for the day! Isn’t God good… all the time? When I need to be my “best”, I do something that I feel condemns me for the ugliness in my heart…. Thankfully, I DO know that God forgives us… I have to learn to forgive myself more!!
Love how you explained the difference in condemnation and conviction!! I will put this into action today!
I am a new pastor’s wife. I have always dreamed of serving the Lord full time and knew it would not be easy. However, I had no idea how intense the trials would be. How difficult it is to just take every thought captive. Things that were easy for me to handle are now very difficult to see let alone deal with before they become a problem. I am battling with breaking that guilt, condemnation, and second guessing my every decision with my family and church. this article helped me see I’m not alone. I can get through this. He lives in me, He loves me and my family more than I could ever imagine, and He will carry us through! In the end, we win anyway, right!?
I really needed this today! I struggle with guilt and doubt literally every single day, as I’m sure most women do. Some days it seems like words of condemnation are stuck on repeat in my head and I’m left feeling battered and useless by the end of the day. It’s wonderful to know that I’m not alone and to have a reminder that true conviction is just God opening his arms for us to receive his mercy and grace. Thank you!
I struggle everyday with my faith…am I really saved,if I was I wouldn’t be saying or doing etc. I know GOD is good all the time. Please enter me in sweepstakes
Was just saying yesterday that I needed to soak myself deeper in the word, this would be a perfect way to get started!! Thank you for your words of wisdom.
I have the same issue with guilt about not living up to what I think God expects of me, and I am relieved to know that I am not the only one who has the Guilt complex.
Thank you for the message today. I was just in those same shoes last week and felt so guilty. Thank you for sharing and letting women, including myself, know we aren’t the only ones who make mistakes.
It feels comforting to know I am not the only woman who feels the doubt in self worth and lack of confidence that I am a good mother, wife, daughter, and friend. I definitely want to read your book as I felt today’s message was written especially for me…I really enjoyed it!
This really hit home. It seems lately I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control and that I’m not perfect. I too, like Kristy, am always struggling with guilt. As a homemaker, homeschool teacher, mother of four boys I sometimes just feel so inadequate and then doubt and guilt come raging in. I love that I can go boldly to the throne of grace and receive mercy and find help in time of my need. So thankful for His mercy and lovingkindnesses each and every morning.
I feel the same that sometimes I just cannot win over my weakest point that one moment I can be such like a happy and bright women, but the next moment, my sky is full of darkest clouds. I was thinking whether I have changed since I have started in believing in Jesus 18 years ago. And I still feel that He is not finished with me yet. So thank you for your sharing which is echoing in my heart and strengthening me. I know that Grace is needed everyday and I will not give up in searching God and His Grace and I know that He will not give me up neither. Chloe
Your devotion hit the spot, I find it so easy sometimes to lose it, and then condemnation cuts in, but it hasn’t been changing how I act; I realize I have been condemning myself so loud I haven’t been hearing the Holy Spirit. I am going to try to listen more to the Holy Spirit and less to myself/
Thank you for your much needed wisdom. It has been an especially difficult, long season having moved two times, having a fourth babe and trying to jumpstart my at home business in the past two years. As a family we feel out of control…and I like control! Maybe my kids are just being typical kids at 9, 7, 6 and 18mos. but my reactions have not been typical or godly. I feel like I’ve been in this pattern for so long that I don’t deserve grace, forgiveness or love…because I’m not giving it. Oh, this hurts. Thank you for the reminder. I always identify with your struggles and today, I will focus on His grace thanks to your sharing and prayer. God bless you and all struggling mums.
I belong to a ladies book club. We are a bunch of Christian sisters who are all different ages and at different stages of life. We are studying Max Lucado’s book “Grace” and your message fits perfectly to what we are studying. We are so easy to condemn others and ourselves but forget about the Lord’s perfect grace that is offered to all of us freely. May we all accept His grace daily and extend to others freely.
One of my biggest struggles have always been dealing with guilt…and where it can lead my heart. My fav line today (although there were many) was to replace “our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence,”. That’s my prayer.
Welll, I just accidentally posted my comment on facevook with a picture of your book. Now more guilt. I am a nures and often find I am full of grace and compassion at work and by the time I get home I am tired and in shoert supply of patience, grace and compassion. I am filled with guilt and regret for my abrupt answers to my husband and children. Would love to win a copy. Now embarassed I posted on face book. Realized it was at the end to post the comment a little too late.
There is a delete post button…on the right of ur post I think…but you can always take it back off. 🙂 there’s a lesson there ha.
My guilt is killing me. God’s mercy is sufficient. Quit beating your self up Trish.
I must say that the explanations of condemnation and conviction were among the best I’ve ever read. It really made sense to me this time and I could clearly see how the voice of the enemy has been permitted in my life for way too long. I think most of us (especially women) are very good at condemning ourselves and don’t even realize that we’re even doing it. Condemnation is also encouraged by our society which constantly reinforces the message that we’ll never be good enough, rich enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc. I’m also intensely aware of the many times I’ve allowed myself to use a condemning voice/attitude towards my children and husband. I certainly need lessons myself in ministering grace to the hearer.