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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

No More Guilt-induced Doubt

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MyGraceIsSufficient

Sometimes I wonder how I can go from being in such a good place with God … feeling peaceful, loving and patient.. but then something happens that sends me into an orbit of aggravation!! 

It happened just the other day…

Things were going well. I’d had a lovely afternoon working from home. Alone. Life was peachy.

But then school got out and kids came home. Within 15 minutes of arrival, one of my boys did something and said something that wasn’t so peachy. Then he did NOT do something I’d asked him to do and let’s just say… I lost all my peace and patience right there in the middle of my kitchen.

I was not happy.at.all. And I let my precious boy know it in a not-so-nice kind of way.

Then I felt GUILTY and like the WORST MOM on the planet.

For a few minutes I was pretty sure that’s exactly how God wanted me to feel ~ so I wouldn’t act so ugly the next time. 

But finally, after I’d almost convinced myself that I was the worst mom and had no business in ministry, I remembered something a pastor said about the difference between conviction and condemnation. He explained it like this:

Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements such as, You’re such a failure, You’re so hypocritical, or You can never be counted on. That is the accuser. His tone is condemning, questioning, and confusing. His accusations lead to guilt and shame.

But the Holy Spirit’s conviction will be specific. He will reveal a sinful action or attitude and instruct us on what we need to do to right the wrong: whether it’s restoring a broken relationship or returning something that isn’t ours. He’ll give us steps we need to take to change our behavior or attitude.

•       Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.

•       Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.

•       Instead of You can never be counted on, the Spirit might say, You didn’t keep your promise to go see your mom today. Call her to apologize and maybe set up a lunch date for this weekend.

Satan condemns accusingly, to make us feel guilty. God convicts lovingly, to lead our hearts to repentance. {tweet this?}

Jesus’ convictios draws us away from destructive behavior that hinders our relationship with Him and with others. His goal is to bring us out of the darkness of sin and back into the Light, so we can walk with Him in the freedom of forgiveness and the confidence of His love.

The next time we blow it or lose it, let’s ask Jesus to replace our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence, as we hold onto the promise that His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness. 

Swope_ConfHeartDevo_3DsmIf my P31 devotion or blog post resonated with you today, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!  

 Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live! 

Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day! 

ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)

: Click “Share Your Thoughts” below and do just that to enter to win one of three copies of my devotional book, and a $15 P31 Online Store gift certificate today!

****If you are reading this via email, click here to return to my blog and be part of the giveaway. {Your comment mus be left below this post to enter. Thanks!}

Comments

  1. “APPROACH GOD’S THRONE OF GRACE WITH CONFIDENCE…” Feeling anything but. I know, I know, I know that God is merciful, I will not allow the Devil the upper hand. Sometimes, just slipping, so low.

  3. Guilt and unworthiness plague me. Your post today spoke such life to me. My husband travels weeks, sometimes months at a time and I’m finding solo-parenting to be a huge struggle and I fail everyday. Letting the doubt, guilt, and unworthiness in only perpetuates the downward spiral. thank you for addressing this issue with honesty!!

  4. I have the condemnation down pat! But operating out of “fear/anger” mindset afterward, doesn’t always lend itself to the lifestyle change required by conviction. I pray that I will operate from a mindset of conviction, not the fear and anger of condemnation.

  5. Renee,

    Thank you for the post today! It really moved me to see that God still wants to use us in spite of our flaws…perhaps even because of our flaws. This shows the world that God can save and use anyone, at anytime, and that one person is no more qualified than the other to serve Him.

    Thank you for sharing your heart and experience! Sometimes we have slips, like the one that your child overheard you say to your husband. I commend and appreciate your honesty, as we all can relate to having said things we know we shouldn’t. You illuminated that we can go to God and ask forgiveness, and He’s ready to forgive us and get us back on track! He’s awesome!

    Thanks again,

    Kayla Perkins
    Baton Rouge, Louisiana

  6. Thanks for sharing. It is nice to know that other people struggle with the same issues.

  7. I loved reading your book “A Confident Heart” and reading your devotionals. They are SO real and contain such nuggets of truth and the good news of Christ. I struggle with doubt and my worthiness to do what God calls me to do.

  8. It’s so nice to be reminded that we are all human and fail sometimes, even those we consider above it all.

  9. My son and daughter went away for a Science program last weekend and their groups did really well in their presentation. I picked them up and they were exhausted but very happy about their experience. I noticed my daughter had a nice book bag from the program and my son didn’t. I asked him why he didn’t and he gave me a very nonchalant response “I didn’t take mine because I do not need it”. I was livid at this point and I yelled at him and called himself. If he didn’t need it, his younger siblings (twins) could certainly use and he didn’t seem to care or be bothered by me. I was driving and yelling at him and he turned to me and said “Get out of my face”. I was mad and enraged, I immediately developed a lot of anger and resentment towards, I am still having a hard time with this whole situation and I do need God to help me move past this anger, it is consuming me.

  10. So glad to know that I am not the only one who screams at my kids and then instantly feels guilty about it and like I am the world’s worst mom! I would love to win a copy of your book! I am always looking for new devotional book to help guide me through this crazy world we live in!

  11. This message hit right at home with me this day. I had to sit back and reread some areas in this message. Shut my mouth, the Lord clearly said I’ll never leave you nor forsake you. Here is a message for you and you are not the only one. Thank You, Father! I’m getting better with this but still need more work. Forgiveness is so powerful and freeing.

    As I have read the previous messages, a song comes to my mind. Love Lifted Me. It is sung in a many of churches and God’s love continues to surrounds and lift us up. Thank you Lord and Renee for this message.

  12. Wow! loved this post, thank you for giving specific examples – I will be using this one often:
    Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.

  13. I am so thankful that God convicts lovingly. He truly wants what is BEST for each of us, and He disciplines those He loves. Thank you for your efforts – may God be glorified through them!

  14. For years I have struggled with the cartoon image of the devil on one shoulder and angel on the other whispering into my ear, my head turning back and forth in the volley of messages competing for my reactions and responses. It created doubt and shame, as if I were spanked. But since I have been reborn, and eager to learn the truths of God’s Word, seeking a relationship with Him, I am able to boldly and confidently knock that deceiver cartoon devil off my shoulder! And yes, there are times I am convicted and it feels as if I need to be put in a time out, but it is always lovingly followed with a hug and redirection. Thank you, Abba, and Renee for your messages on Proverbs 31 that are teaching me, and leading me into a Confident Heart.

  15. A friend & I are reading & studying through the book A Confident Heart together. Would love the devotional book as a companion to the work we are doing.

  17. Thank You so much for sharing. I struggle so much with guilt & not having the right thoughts. It’s good to know that I’m not alone.

  18. While scrolling around on the p31 website, I clicked on your link to find this blog and a related recourse with it. No doubt God led me here to read this. Thank you for sharing this so openly and honestly. This will help me with my walk with God. If its meant to be I pray that I will receive this book. Thank you again for sharing Christ’s love with us women and to know that many of us face the same struggles. You’re a blessing!

  19. Thank you for sharing your message. Guilt is ingrained in so many women but we just need to hold to God’s love to find our peace.

  20. Thank you for this devotional. It was what I really needed to hear. I thank you that God spoke to me through this. I have a ladies get together once a month and I wonder how I can do this when I fail so many times. I know that this IS what God wants me to do but Satan is always putting douts in my head. God is so good and He gives us just what we need to hear at just the right time.

  21. Wow – I needed that this morning. The response from the women’s ministry director not only spoke to your heart it spoke to mine. As a leader, it can sometimes feel like we have to have it all together in order to lead other women. And boy or boy I am definitely do not have it all together. Thank you for the reminder that we need to be clinging to Him in order to reflect that back to those around us.

  22. Thank you for the encouragement today! I have these moments daily when I feel like a failure as a mother. I know it is only by God’s grace that I pick up the pieces, ask for forgiveness and try again.

  23. WOW – God really knows what we need, when we need it. Feeling like the world’s worst wife and mother these days, everything was hitting me at once this morning after I got to work. But then I read the message today and realized that even though my family has all these issues – I can still be a blessing to others but only by God’s grace. He never leaves me – just had to be reminded. Thanks & God Bless!

  25. MY “CO-DEPENCY” CAUSES ME TO FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERY BAD THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ANYBODY THAT I LOVE. THE HEAVY WEIGHT OF THAT STOPS ME FROM REACHING OUT TO THEM!!!!!!!!!!

  26. So relate to the struggle in my though patterns that defeat me and many times almost cause me to stop leading, speaking, teaching and serving Him. Thank you for sharing this wisdom and insight and for also letting me know there is another Mom who loves God and is doing her best to serve Him amidst the craziness of life’s demands and often messes up too!

  28. I love your daily emails. I struggle with trying to be a Godly woman only to fall short on a daily basis. The emails I receive let me know I am not alone in this struggle and that God is still working on me. Thanks

  30. I have been fighting with depression and anxiety for so many years. i continue to blame myself for so many tragic events that have occurred in my life. The most difficult one I find is the fact that I was sexually abused by an uncle between the ages of 4 – 13 yrs. of age. Somewhere in my mind, I can’t help but blame myself and think that i should have known better. Forgiving myself for this has been a long and continual process. I am in hopes that after reading your book, i will have a sense of a new direction and a more self-aware way of forgiving myself. This was not my fault. I was a young child. I am so desperately trying to learn how to forgive myself over this awful event in my life.

  31. Thank you! I needed this so badly. The devil stays in my head to remind me daily of all my failures past, present, and future. My soul is filled with self doubt until I read these encouraging words and than the Holy Spirit puts smile on my face and warms my heart and says….its ok to not be ok…. I’m here and you are forgiven. Hallelujah!

  33. This devotion was just what I needed this morning. My husband, mother in law and I are traveling from Minnesota to California, camping in our travel trailer. My mother in law has macular degeneration, glaucoma, and has hearing in only one ear (has a hearing aid for this ear). On this trip she has been diagnosed with shingles in her “good” ear, she had the shingles vaccine so is not experiencing pain (thank you Lord) but is unable to hear much at all unless it is repeated many times. Then she “may” understand. My husband also wears hearing aids. I am thankful to my Lord that I do not need hearing aids yet. So …. I am praying, and my friends and family also, for patience! Some days have been easier than others. Your devotion is just what I needed this morning. Thank you. My mother in law is living with us now and we do feel blessed to be able to have her with us and to be able to love on her and care for her; but at times it is difficult for all of us.

  34. Wow! Did I need this devotional today! I struggle with inadequacy and lack of confidence due to past failures and life circumstances! I know God desires for me to grow in this area. The devil wants me to think I am unworthy and tries to create such mind sets but, in Christ I have freedom from condemnation and I am being made whole! I appreciate your transparency in sharing! It reminds me that it is not just I that has these struggles but, they are real for many others. I could so relate to your real life scenario with your husband and kids. Been there done that. I would love to have a copy of your book!

  35. This really hit home with me today! It seems like every Sunday when my husband & I are getting ready
    for church, something little happens to set either one of us off. Then, we get in the car & argue all the way
    to church with nothing resolved.
    We walk into church & put on our game face like everything is right with the world, smiling & hugging people
    we know, still steaming mad at our spouse. The praise & worship starts & while you are singing, you feel
    the guilt rising up & you feel like such a hypocrite.
    You would think being Christians for so many years we would see a pattern here & pray the night before
    to avoid all of this guilt.

  36. I have been dealing this very issue–just this week! I am so THANKFUL to you for your timely message!!

    Bless YOU!
    Graciela

  37. Ran upon this by faith today. Currently going through a battle – a battle that I don’t necessary want to battle but with God’s grace I will overcome this battle. Please enter me in today’s drawing for the Confident Heart Devotional Book – it will not set on a shelf – it will be used daily. Thanks again for your uplifting words of encouragement.

  39. Even when we fail by our standards His grace is always there. Thanks for sharing.

  40. Wow! I really needed this today. The Grace that I’ve been shown has not exactly been flowing from my lips and life lately. Subsequently, the guilt sets in and Satan has been hitting me hard…to the point of damaging relationships. Thank you for the reminder that God takes my face in His hands and lovingly convicts me of the things I need to change….through Him and only because of Him. I would LOVE to receive your devotional book. Thank you for your ministry and encouragement!

  42. I was reading one of the Proverbs 31 Devotional books and I really related to your entries. Your honesty about yourself and your marriage was refreshing for me to read. Thank you.

  44. Thank you so much for your encouragement! I feel as though I have those days quite often, and I wonder how can God use me when I mess up. We all need that confidence to do what God has called us to do! Thanks again!

  46. Oh my goodness…I could have written today’s excerpt. Thank you for your wonderful transparency and God’s grace which covers all our “Dad said you would be mad…” experiences! Thank you, Jesus, you love us and care for us and forgive us no matter what!! I am worthy in the eyes of my Beloved!!

  47. Oh thank God for His grace! Nothing quite convicts like my kids. In a not-so-glorious moment this morning, I completely freaked out when my 8 year old had a spot of chocolate from his granola bar on his shirt and with the bus pulling up, no time to change. I told him that other people will think his mom doesn’t care anything about him when he goes to school with stains on his shirt. He actually apologized while walking out. (Jesus forgive me for my mommy fail moments!) I sat in my car about to rush off to work in a huff and thought, how can I teach my son that Jesus only cares about what’s in our heart, not our outward appearance when I’m freaking out about a spot! Oh, Jesus, pour your grace on me. I wanted to somehow chase the bus down and pull him off so we could talk about this and get it resolved. How it doesn’t matter one bit what others think about what we wear. God is so pleased with my Braden’s inside heart, and so am I. A little spot on a t-shirt means nothing. I can’t wait to see him this afternoon. We have something to get straight before anything else is done. Thanks for sharing, Renee!

  49. I’m looking to connect daily…and find peace consistently.
    Especially challenging at times with a three year old and 10 month old twins.

  50. This devotional could not come at a better time. I switched jobs about 8 months ago and feel that I do nothing right. This morning I decided maybe the problem is me and I am not perfect. I started to look for a new job. Nothing grabs me and I know this is where GOD put me, but at the same time I feel that he has made a grievous mistake and I should not be here, or have any employment as I am not good enough.
    Thank you,
    Karin