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Sometimes I wonder how I can go from being in such a good place with God … feeling peaceful, loving and patient.. but then something happens that sends me into an orbit of aggravation!!
It happened just the other day…
Things were going well. I’d had a lovely afternoon working from home. Alone. Life was peachy.
But then school got out and kids came home. Within 15 minutes of arrival, one of my boys did something and said something that wasn’t so peachy. Then he did NOT do something I’d asked him to do and let’s just say… I lost all my peace and patience right there in the middle of my kitchen.
I was not happy.at.all. And I let my precious boy know it in a not-so-nice kind of way.
Then I felt GUILTY and like the WORST MOM on the planet.
For a few minutes I was pretty sure that’s exactly how God wanted me to feel ~ so I wouldn’t act so ugly the next time.
But finally, after I’d almost convinced myself that I was the worst mom and had no business in ministry, I remembered something a pastor said about the difference between conviction and condemnation. He explained it like this:
Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements such as, You’re such a failure, You’re so hypocritical, or You can never be counted on. That is the accuser. His tone is condemning, questioning, and confusing. His accusations lead to guilt and shame.
But the Holy Spirit’s conviction will be specific. He will reveal a sinful action or attitude and instruct us on what we need to do to right the wrong: whether it’s restoring a broken relationship or returning something that isn’t ours. He’ll give us steps we need to take to change our behavior or attitude.
• Instead of You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _________ (your husband, child, parent, etc). You need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
• Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.
• Instead of You can never be counted on, the Spirit might say, You didn’t keep your promise to go see your mom today. Call her to apologize and maybe set up a lunch date for this weekend.
Satan condemns accusingly, to make us feel guilty. God convicts lovingly, to lead our hearts to repentance. {tweet this?}
Jesus’ convictios draws us away from destructive behavior that hinders our relationship with Him and with others. His goal is to bring us out of the darkness of sin and back into the Light, so we can walk with Him in the freedom of forgiveness and the confidence of His love.
The next time we blow it or lose it, let’s ask Jesus to replace our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence, as we hold onto the promise that His grace is sufficient because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
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As I reflected on the devotional and on my life, I find that at times, when I am most in need of grace and help from God is when I shy away from His outstretched hand…..yes, probably because of guilt over a failure. It is great to be reminded that God extends his grace, mercy and forgiveness to me….to us, despite of our shortcomings.
I really needed to hear this today!
Thank you for sharing this. As soon as I finished reading this today, I closed my eyes and thanked the Lord for His Truth. I’m NOT too far gone in my messes. He CAN and WILL use me….in the midst of my yuck….to help and encourage others. Like you said, if you haven’t gone through something yourself, how qualified are you to help others going through those “somethings”?
Thank you for posting this. It brought me to a place of freedom in the midst of my mess, relief from the heavy chains of not feeling worthy, and a whispered “Yes Lord, use me” with surrendered hands wide open.
I know how it feels to be convicted, and full of God’s righteousness and then in a word, lose that feeling and end up feeling self-condemned because I failed to hold my tongue…again. I am my worst enemy and it took almost 40 years to learn that God loves me as I am. So great to read your stories and know that I am not alone here!
Yesterday I was upset with my daughter and said things that I should not have said. Instead of showing Gods grace and mercy I handled it in a very carnal way. Although she was wrong, I could have shown her Jesus in my speech. I will ask for forgiveness when she wakes up even if she does not forgive me. I do not want my prayers to be hindered for any unforgiveness. Thank you for reminding me this morning.
This was meant for me especially after this past weekend!!
It is reassuring to know that I am not the only one who struggles with these same thoughts and feelings. Often times, I “let myself down” because of my words or actions, and then I feel guilt and shame which is hard to shake. Thank you Renee for your transparency as you apply God’s Word in such a real and positive way! I need this message to be replayed over and over in my head! God Bless you sweet sister!
Great message! Reminds me if our pastor’s message of ‘crashing the chatterbox’-that voice of condemnation… Thank you for the reminder of His grace & mercy that is new each morning!
WOW! Thank you Jesus for using Renee’s devotional to speak to me this morning! Thank you for your gift of grace and mercy and for giving it to me when I need it! Thank you Renee for being “real” and allowing God to use you to speak to me this morning!
I really need a touch from the Holy Spirit. I constantly feel useless, a terrible mother, wife, daughter, servant, you name it. I know I’m God’s child and I shouldn’t feel this way but I do. Ever since I became a stay at home mom I’ve lost my identity. I know what I do is soooo important, I’m raising my son to serve God, what could be more important? But Satan constantly tells me because I’m not making money I’m useless. I know I’m valued in God’s eyes but I don’t feel it. Thank you so much for your encouragement, it gets me through my day on many days.
I was drawn to your honesty in the devotional I read morning on bible gateway.
Thank you for being real with us!
I am so thankful to read today that God can still use me in spite of my failures. I have always loved serving the Lord and tried to do so with my family, church, etc., but when you feel like you have fallen short and trials come, you feel like you can not be effective. The verse you shared that we can approach Gods throne boldly and find grace in time of need, helped me not too long ago, when I was desperately needing Gods strength and help (which has been the norm lately). I truly needed the words that He can still use me .
WOW! Each devotion that I read “hits the spot” for the day! Isn’t God good… all the time? When I need to be my “best”, I do something that I feel condemns me for the ugliness in my heart…. Thankfully, I DO know that God forgives us… I have to learn to forgive myself more!!
Love how you explained the difference in condemnation and conviction!! I will put this into action today!
I am a new pastor’s wife. I have always dreamed of serving the Lord full time and knew it would not be easy. However, I had no idea how intense the trials would be. How difficult it is to just take every thought captive. Things that were easy for me to handle are now very difficult to see let alone deal with before they become a problem. I am battling with breaking that guilt, condemnation, and second guessing my every decision with my family and church. this article helped me see I’m not alone. I can get through this. He lives in me, He loves me and my family more than I could ever imagine, and He will carry us through! In the end, we win anyway, right!?
I really needed this today! I struggle with guilt and doubt literally every single day, as I’m sure most women do. Some days it seems like words of condemnation are stuck on repeat in my head and I’m left feeling battered and useless by the end of the day. It’s wonderful to know that I’m not alone and to have a reminder that true conviction is just God opening his arms for us to receive his mercy and grace. Thank you!
I struggle everyday with my faith…am I really saved,if I was I wouldn’t be saying or doing etc. I know GOD is good all the time. Please enter me in sweepstakes
Was just saying yesterday that I needed to soak myself deeper in the word, this would be a perfect way to get started!! Thank you for your words of wisdom.
I have the same issue with guilt about not living up to what I think God expects of me, and I am relieved to know that I am not the only one who has the Guilt complex.
Thank you for the message today. I was just in those same shoes last week and felt so guilty. Thank you for sharing and letting women, including myself, know we aren’t the only ones who make mistakes.
It feels comforting to know I am not the only woman who feels the doubt in self worth and lack of confidence that I am a good mother, wife, daughter, and friend. I definitely want to read your book as I felt today’s message was written especially for me…I really enjoyed it!
This really hit home. It seems lately I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control and that I’m not perfect. I too, like Kristy, am always struggling with guilt. As a homemaker, homeschool teacher, mother of four boys I sometimes just feel so inadequate and then doubt and guilt come raging in. I love that I can go boldly to the throne of grace and receive mercy and find help in time of my need. So thankful for His mercy and lovingkindnesses each and every morning.
I feel the same that sometimes I just cannot win over my weakest point that one moment I can be such like a happy and bright women, but the next moment, my sky is full of darkest clouds. I was thinking whether I have changed since I have started in believing in Jesus 18 years ago. And I still feel that He is not finished with me yet. So thank you for your sharing which is echoing in my heart and strengthening me. I know that Grace is needed everyday and I will not give up in searching God and His Grace and I know that He will not give me up neither. Chloe
Your devotion hit the spot, I find it so easy sometimes to lose it, and then condemnation cuts in, but it hasn’t been changing how I act; I realize I have been condemning myself so loud I haven’t been hearing the Holy Spirit. I am going to try to listen more to the Holy Spirit and less to myself/
Thank you for your much needed wisdom. It has been an especially difficult, long season having moved two times, having a fourth babe and trying to jumpstart my at home business in the past two years. As a family we feel out of control…and I like control! Maybe my kids are just being typical kids at 9, 7, 6 and 18mos. but my reactions have not been typical or godly. I feel like I’ve been in this pattern for so long that I don’t deserve grace, forgiveness or love…because I’m not giving it. Oh, this hurts. Thank you for the reminder. I always identify with your struggles and today, I will focus on His grace thanks to your sharing and prayer. God bless you and all struggling mums.
I belong to a ladies book club. We are a bunch of Christian sisters who are all different ages and at different stages of life. We are studying Max Lucado’s book “Grace” and your message fits perfectly to what we are studying. We are so easy to condemn others and ourselves but forget about the Lord’s perfect grace that is offered to all of us freely. May we all accept His grace daily and extend to others freely.
One of my biggest struggles have always been dealing with guilt…and where it can lead my heart. My fav line today (although there were many) was to replace “our guilt-induced doubt with HIS grace-infused confidence,”. That’s my prayer.
Welll, I just accidentally posted my comment on facevook with a picture of your book. Now more guilt. I am a nures and often find I am full of grace and compassion at work and by the time I get home I am tired and in shoert supply of patience, grace and compassion. I am filled with guilt and regret for my abrupt answers to my husband and children. Would love to win a copy. Now embarassed I posted on face book. Realized it was at the end to post the comment a little too late.
There is a delete post button…on the right of ur post I think…but you can always take it back off. 🙂 there’s a lesson there ha.
My guilt is killing me. God’s mercy is sufficient. Quit beating your self up Trish.
I must say that the explanations of condemnation and conviction were among the best I’ve ever read. It really made sense to me this time and I could clearly see how the voice of the enemy has been permitted in my life for way too long. I think most of us (especially women) are very good at condemning ourselves and don’t even realize that we’re even doing it. Condemnation is also encouraged by our society which constantly reinforces the message that we’ll never be good enough, rich enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc. I’m also intensely aware of the many times I’ve allowed myself to use a condemning voice/attitude towards my children and husband. I certainly need lessons myself in ministering grace to the hearer.
This devotional was for me!! Sounds EXACTLY like my life! Good to know that Im not the only one who struggles with guilt after a bad moment. AMAZING GRACE!!
Totally blessed by your contribution to Proverbs 31 Woman, still trying to figure out if what happened to me today is similar. Noticed that my prayers today didn’t quite feel, right (and of course I knew why) but I still carried on in praying. It was on my way into work whilst talking to GOD that it dawned on me that i was not walking in love. I had so much as already concluded in my self-righteous manner that I was doing the right thing – it seemed right and am sure I also justified it with a few scriptures. But the uneasiness I felt didn’t disappear until I sincerely had a heart to heart with GOD on my may into work. I felt such a great peace wash over me I admitted to myself that I was not walking in love and needed to do this to be able to serve GOD better.
Renee, your honesty is so encouraging! How many times I forget that it’s all about Grace. I am living through a new season of widowhood, and so many times feel like I am failing to do it “right”. What a great reminder to return to His throne of grace every time and find His help.
The guilt part has been holding me from even facing GOD or even go to church at times but now I know GOD does not look at me as I look at myself but with love and grace.
My mind so quickly jumps to the “you’re such a terrible wife/mother/friend/whatever, instead of listening for the Holy Spirits sweet, loving conviction I stead. Thank you for the reminder to quiet the lies and listen for the truth.
I was just praying and asking God to help me with my mess, and asking myself if i was saved after 15 years of serving Him, thank God, his Spirit reminded me that he gives proof to my spirit that I am. Whew, and I saw a new email and read the encouragement for today and was shocked at the honesty of your post and how totally identified I am with it all. My husband after being a deacon at my church is now in care of the young adults ( ministry), im 30 and am feeling the pressure of the standards the congregation places on us which have made me a bit cranky, i feel like I need to go through my process, my marriage is only 4 years young in May and we have a 3 yr old toddler that doesn’t show his its all fine face or we got it all together posture many times. I’ve been serving on the women’s ministry for the past 6 yrs, and sometimes I think how is it that I’m here, the other day for our monthly service I was to pray and give the announcements and after an all to similar to your story chain of events i didn’t know how i was to pray, but I can honestly say God’s grace surprised me again, i was so humbled by my messy condition ( im a housewife, and I want to be up to par with what I know from the Word but I can’t seem to get it all right at the same time) (i want to be the Proverbs 31 woman sooooo much) i really just tried to pray as honestly add I could without giving away to much to those praying with me and Good met me there and was so faithful and loving, blessed us all with my particular participation in the program, specially me. So yes now the pressure is on but so is His grace. And well its like my marriage and raising my kids is on full view with a magnified glass not to mention my having to grow up and understanding we all age, we all pass, we all live in a temporary world and heavenly things are most important. but thank you so much for sharing your post, it reminded me that God understands, i do strive to do better each day but it’s His grace that I need to seek conscientiously to sustain me daily. thanks again for the uplifting words seems im going to be in need to hear them more in the near future, so if you enter me for the devotional book, i don’t mind lol, ( I’d love it actually) 🙂 again thanks and blessings. 🙂
Your words are a comfort to me. I suffer from self -induced guilt all thd time. Thank goodness God sends people like you to help us on this journey!
I must say that I get it. As much as I WANT this book, I can hear the hearts of the ones that NEED and others that just WANT the book. I can now see why the mother in Judges said give the baby to her.
After being raised in a Church that never preached about grace, God’s love, and forgiveness I have a hard time forgiving myself and accepting His grace and forgiveness. Thank you for your articles. I am about to go to the Cancer Center for more test and I need all the love, grace, and forgiveness as well as courage each day.
Thank you so much. I’ve had a awful day today and you were an answer to my prayer. There are times I think GOD must get sick and tired of me and give up on me. Thank you again for redirecting my thoughts back to the ONE who loves me . Amazing Love.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of self-condemnation. Explaining the difference between condemnation and conviction was really helpful. Thank you for the reminder that God can use us in spite of our mistakes and shortcomings.
I have these moments with my son almost daily. God is gracious and one of the greatest joys, sources of peace, consolations as a parent is asking forgiveness of my children when I have wronged them and letting them see, firsthand, how grace can work for me and for them.
I would love to have your book. I am very hard on myself, feel like I fail as a Mother daily and often let my condemning inner voice rule me. I could use the encouragement. Your post was just what I needed !
I would love to win your devotional book, loved your message via P31 today. Dont know if I’m elegible to enter though, as I live in Australia
I love this. I am often doubting my worth or ability to do things. I want a confident heart always!!
This couldn’t have come at a better time I really need to hear this message I am going though some real trials right now and God I do believe is trying to teach me something. Please enter me to win the devotional book. I know I can use it as well. Thanks.
Thank you for this devotional. I have allowed condemnation to be the loudest voice in my head and in my heart for too long. I am just realising that this is no way to live. Why have I forgotten about Gods grace? The greatest gift. Now I will make an effort daily to ask for forgiveness and the grace and embrace it.
Wow, you have no idea how much u needed to hear this! Thank you!
This hit the mark today. Guilt. Not living up to what I expect that God wants from me makes heavy hearted. So I go and approach the throne and find no condemnation! Just mercy and rest. Good word.
I love the explanation between conviction and condemnation. Apparently I am very condemning of myself. I know God has been trying to help me see myself in a different light and relase a lot of the hurt I’ve had over the last three decades. It’s hard, but I’m taking baby steps. Thanks for the devotion. P.S. Please enter me to win the devotional book. I know I can use it. Thanks.
I’m a little overwhelmed in a good yet heart-stretching way by your responses. Im so grateful Jesus knew and nudged my heart to share what He did – in my devotion and here in this post. And sweet friends, Im praying over each of your hearts and your words. I’ve been reading your comments and praying since 7:30 this morning when already over 150 of you had shared your thoughts and been so vulnerable and real with me and with each other…
So grateful we have this space to share. To look at each other across the screen (in a virtual kind of way) and say: You.Are.Not.Alone.
(we) are in this together, with each other and with our sweet Father who moved Heaven and earth to set us free from the chains of guilt. Through the lavish gift of His grace – in Christ -and then through His continual outpouring of LOVE through His spirit.
Honestly, I knew I struggled with this, but didn’t realize how much we (all) struggle with guilt. Thank you for taking time today to say ~ me too.
Thank you for this blog! I lived my entire life in guilt. That’s how I was brought up and it’s very difficult to change. I call myself a hypocrite daily. I have given up on being a Christian, but I feel God trying to pull me back. I have stopped going to church, and tithing, I owe God so much money over the past 7 months.
Your blog has encouraged me. Perhaps it’s not God calling me a hypocrite .
your daily posts resonate with me everyday! thank you for running this blog!