A guest post from my friend, ~Darlene Schacht, The Time-Warp Wife
Darkness enveloped the sky drawing its curtain around us, while the rumble of thunder composed a symphony of sound that was carried by on the wings of the wind.
It was only 8 pm, but Michael was fast asleep. Stretched out on his recliner by the window, he dozed off while two little puppies wrestled under his chair.
The steady tip-tapping of rain made me want to curl up beside him and fall asleep too, but I had some dishes that needed to be cleared away and some laundry to do for the morning.
I wasn’t surprised to see him sleeping like that. I knew he’d be exhausted after the crazy week he just had. Working overtime every night, he was struggling to catch up at work.
And the weekend? It wasn’t much better. Since he’s been at the shop so much lately, the honey-do list was long and he was determined to get it all done.
He’s a hard worker, there’s no doubt about that. And weeks like this remind me of just how hard he pushes himself when the going gets tough.
There’s a lot of weight on that man’s shoulders. In fact, I can say that about most husbands I know. Even when they aren’t facing deadlines at work, they are dealing with the spiritual and financial responsibilities that come with leading a family.
While many of them appear to have everything under control, most of our husbands would not only appreciate encouragement from us, they would benefit from it.
Any mom who cares for a growing child knows the importance of praise in their children’s life. Not only does it help to build a healthy sense of self-esteem, it also reminds a child that he or she is loved.
In the same way, any wife who cares for her husband will also know the importance of praise in a marriage. It’s vital to a growing relationship.
Matthew L. Jacobson once wrote, “We need your affirmation – we have to have it and, oh, how we thrive with it. Typically, men are quiet about these things but that doesn’t mean we need and enjoy our wife’s affirmation any less. And every man feels it: When his woman is behind him, he can slay dragons.”
Do you realize that there are four verses in Proverbs alone that talk about nagging wives? They are referred to as quarrelsome, fretful, and a continual dripping. If you have ever experienced a leaky roof, you’ll know how annoying that is. We experienced one about 20 years ago in our back porch, and regardless of how many times I emptied the pail it would only fill up again.
That’s the danger with nagging. It becomes a never-ending habit if left unchecked, and unfortunately it festers resentment. Praise on the other hand has the reverse affect. It builds the bond of marriage and draws a couple closer together.
That’s only two of the benefits, but there are so many more. Let’s look at five of them:
- When you affirm him, you are affirming your love for him. Knowing that someone loves you deeply strengthens the bond of marriage. Think of it this way: we form the strongest friendships with those that we deeply trust.
- When you praise him for the little things he does, it’s more likely that he’ll be encouraged to repeat them in the future.
- When I praise my husband, whether it be in his presence or in his absence, we bear witness of our marriage covenant. Keeping in mind that marriage reflects the covenant between Jesus Christ and the church it’s important to honor our vows in the best way we know how.
- Kindness is an attractive quality. There’s no possible way a wife can be attractive when she’s constantly nagging her husband. Sure, you can put the pretty on, but unless you’re also attractive it wears thin. There’s nothing appealing about a critical spirit.
- He’ll be glad to come home. Let’s face it, the world is tough place. Many of our husbands are dealing with difficult situations at work and need a sense of relief when they walk through the door. Unfortunately, some other husbands are working with women who are building them up outside of the home. If we want a husband who is glad to come home to his wife, we can make him feel welcome by letting him know that we appreciate him, that we respect him, and that we’re glad he is with us.
You are loved by an almighty God,
~Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife
Check out Darlene Schacht’s newest book, Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages
Messy Beautiful Love delivers an incredible testimony of grace that offers hope for today’s marriages and a spark for rekindling love.
Love gets messy.
Financial problems, sickness, aging parents, a chronically unhappy spouse . . . trials will inevitably come that threaten your marriage. No matter how long you’ve been married or how strong your relationship is, sooner or later you are going to have a mess to clean up.
Messy Beautiful Love is about cleaning up messes God’s way, exchanging your ideas for His, and being prepared for both the best and the worst that marriage has to offer.
When you surrender your relationship to God, then and only then will you experience the blessing of marriage as He intended. This is the blessing of obedience.
Messy Beautiful Love is an invitation to that obedience. The cynical world says marriages don’t last, but God knows better. Tune out the world and tune in to Him. When you do that, a beautiful marriage is not only possible, it’s inevitable.
Want to win a copy?
We’re giving away two copies of Darlene’s book, Messy Beautiful Love. Enter to WIN a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below this post, and leave us a comment telling us something you love about your husband. We’ll randomly choose two winners. {If you’re reading this via email, click here to ENTER TO WIN by leaving a comment on my blog}
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Love the article on supporting your spouse.
I love that he always takes time out of his day to text, email or call me and check in on my day.
My Dear Husband suffers from mental illness. I appreciate his desire to be involved in the work of Christ and his love for Him and for the children and I. I love the way he always tries his best to do things. He is my best friend.
Linda
Forwarded this to my bible study group. We were just talking about this last week at study. Thank you for sharing!!!!
I really need the help, and I feel like I benefited so much just from the email.
I would live to win a copy of the book . We just celebrated our 38 th anniversary . We had our ups n down. It ‘s only by the grace of God that we r still together. My husband is such a hard worker n I try to pray for him everyday that God lifts his heavy load at work. I have worked 2 jobs just to help out with bills . It’s been hard but God has helped n blest us.
God has been doing such a work in my husband and my marriage. We started out rough but slowly are getting it together. It would be such a blessing to get this book !!
Always need to grow and be reminded of thoughtful deeds and needs. Thank you
I appreciate his unconditional love and attentiveness to my needs…Thanks for the chance to win! 🙂
I will celebrate my 30th wedding anniversary this year. How time flies! They say it’s supposed to get easier and in some ways it has but…maybe not. Just because you become more comfortable with someone doesn’t make it a great relationship. I’m guilty of not appreciating my husband, of taking him for-granted. Thank you for sharing your devotional with us!
I love that my husband always kisses me hello and goodbye! Even if he’s just running to the store. He always puts me before himself and the kids. This is after 21 years of marriage. I love him so very much.
I love that my husband is always willing to protect me and how he worries about my well being.
When my husband comes home from work each day its like he’s been away for a month – he is so excited to see us all! The neighbours asked for some of his happy pills!! Watching him study and grow spiritually encourages me to grow alongside him which is sometimes hard to find time when you homeschool –
One of the things I love about my husband is he never complains about what the house looks like. He has helped me to be more relaxed about trying to keep a perfect house, which never happens when you have kids. I also love it when we pray together or when he prays for me.
I love how he strives to make things right for his family….
My husband, Paul, and I, just finished doing a ten week Couples Bible Study with a book called “So What Did You Expect?” It was about life after marriage and what we must do to keep our marriages strong. Mostly I think I would say, Have a “Veridical relationship with God then a horizontal relationship with your spouse.
Also, that we are sinners and can improve our relationships with our spouse by communicating, forgiving one another and grace. God has helped my spouse and I get back to having better conversations, focusing on the positive in one another and reaching out and praying daily together.
God is so good,” Nothing Is Impossible With God!”
Mary Kaiser, more in love with God and my spouse than ever!!!!
My husband is a wonderful man. He is my best friend and confidant. He willingly provides for our family day in and day out. He is a daily reminder of dutiful-sacrifice as he is both a member of military and a prospective police officer. His willingness to protect our family, country, and community is one of those qualities I may never understand, but am always supportive of. He is a rock and role model for many, including our children. He makes time to help our children grow in their love for Christ and reminds me daily of the love Christ had for his church through the love and friendship he extends to me.
My husband has a capacity to serve like no one else I know. He gives beyond the extra mile which can be one of his greatest strengths but can sometimes pose as a weakness too. I love it that God chose me to be his helper and am so thankful for His grace in our marriage for the past 25 years. My husband faithfully encourages me, blesses me, helps me practically, emotionally & spiritually. He is a beautiful example to our two young adult daughters and definitely raises the bar when it comes to qualities of a godly man! I love him more than I could have possibly imagined & am still crazy about the guy!
My husband has a positive attitude and helps keep me positive when at times I want to be negative and complain. We are a team and help each other get thru each day. He makes me feel beautiful when I don’t . I am the luckiest girl to have married my best friend!
I used to be a nagging wife. It didn’t work. The more I tell my husband how much I respect him and appreciate all the hard work he does for our family the more he flourishes. He even started making the bed every day.