A guest post from my friend, ~Darlene Schacht, The Time-Warp Wife
Darkness enveloped the sky drawing its curtain around us, while the rumble of thunder composed a symphony of sound that was carried by on the wings of the wind.
It was only 8 pm, but Michael was fast asleep. Stretched out on his recliner by the window, he dozed off while two little puppies wrestled under his chair.
The steady tip-tapping of rain made me want to curl up beside him and fall asleep too, but I had some dishes that needed to be cleared away and some laundry to do for the morning.
I wasn’t surprised to see him sleeping like that. I knew he’d be exhausted after the crazy week he just had. Working overtime every night, he was struggling to catch up at work.
And the weekend? It wasn’t much better. Since he’s been at the shop so much lately, the honey-do list was long and he was determined to get it all done.
He’s a hard worker, there’s no doubt about that. And weeks like this remind me of just how hard he pushes himself when the going gets tough.
There’s a lot of weight on that man’s shoulders. In fact, I can say that about most husbands I know. Even when they aren’t facing deadlines at work, they are dealing with the spiritual and financial responsibilities that come with leading a family.
While many of them appear to have everything under control, most of our husbands would not only appreciate encouragement from us, they would benefit from it.
Any mom who cares for a growing child knows the importance of praise in their children’s life. Not only does it help to build a healthy sense of self-esteem, it also reminds a child that he or she is loved.
In the same way, any wife who cares for her husband will also know the importance of praise in a marriage. It’s vital to a growing relationship.
Matthew L. Jacobson once wrote, “We need your affirmation – we have to have it and, oh, how we thrive with it. Typically, men are quiet about these things but that doesn’t mean we need and enjoy our wife’s affirmation any less. And every man feels it: When his woman is behind him, he can slay dragons.”
Do you realize that there are four verses in Proverbs alone that talk about nagging wives? They are referred to as quarrelsome, fretful, and a continual dripping. If you have ever experienced a leaky roof, you’ll know how annoying that is. We experienced one about 20 years ago in our back porch, and regardless of how many times I emptied the pail it would only fill up again.
That’s the danger with nagging. It becomes a never-ending habit if left unchecked, and unfortunately it festers resentment. Praise on the other hand has the reverse affect. It builds the bond of marriage and draws a couple closer together.
That’s only two of the benefits, but there are so many more. Let’s look at five of them:
- When you affirm him, you are affirming your love for him. Knowing that someone loves you deeply strengthens the bond of marriage. Think of it this way: we form the strongest friendships with those that we deeply trust.
- When you praise him for the little things he does, it’s more likely that he’ll be encouraged to repeat them in the future.
- When I praise my husband, whether it be in his presence or in his absence, we bear witness of our marriage covenant. Keeping in mind that marriage reflects the covenant between Jesus Christ and the church it’s important to honor our vows in the best way we know how.
- Kindness is an attractive quality. There’s no possible way a wife can be attractive when she’s constantly nagging her husband. Sure, you can put the pretty on, but unless you’re also attractive it wears thin. There’s nothing appealing about a critical spirit.
- He’ll be glad to come home. Let’s face it, the world is tough place. Many of our husbands are dealing with difficult situations at work and need a sense of relief when they walk through the door. Unfortunately, some other husbands are working with women who are building them up outside of the home. If we want a husband who is glad to come home to his wife, we can make him feel welcome by letting him know that we appreciate him, that we respect him, and that we’re glad he is with us.
You are loved by an almighty God,
~Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife
Check out Darlene Schacht’s newest book, Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages
Messy Beautiful Love delivers an incredible testimony of grace that offers hope for today’s marriages and a spark for rekindling love.
Love gets messy.
Financial problems, sickness, aging parents, a chronically unhappy spouse . . . trials will inevitably come that threaten your marriage. No matter how long you’ve been married or how strong your relationship is, sooner or later you are going to have a mess to clean up.
Messy Beautiful Love is about cleaning up messes God’s way, exchanging your ideas for His, and being prepared for both the best and the worst that marriage has to offer.
When you surrender your relationship to God, then and only then will you experience the blessing of marriage as He intended. This is the blessing of obedience.
Messy Beautiful Love is an invitation to that obedience. The cynical world says marriages don’t last, but God knows better. Tune out the world and tune in to Him. When you do that, a beautiful marriage is not only possible, it’s inevitable.
Want to win a copy?
We’re giving away two copies of Darlene’s book, Messy Beautiful Love. Enter to WIN a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below this post, and leave us a comment telling us something you love about your husband. We’ll randomly choose two winners. {If you’re reading this via email, click here to ENTER TO WIN by leaving a comment on my blog}
Discover more from Renee Swope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Thanks Darlene for uplifting and guiding words, we have been married for just four months and even though ours is a long distance marriage, my husband makes the effort to continuously make me feel loved and appreciated, which in turns makes me feel safe. He has taken me and my daughter and loved her as his own. I thank God for him, and thank God for His work through you.
Love the book and this post! Thanks, Darlene. Pinning now.
I love my husband very much. However, I hear how much we should build them up but what about us working women who are expected to bring home a paycheck and keep the home in perfect order… I really need some affirmation at this point. I struggle with the balance of home, work and family. I feel the positive effects of giving the extra energy to my husband but when I am at my tipping point, I feel like I’m weak and unable to provide. Where is the reaffirmation for the wives who pull double duty? I have struggled for a long time now and I need help.
We will celebrate our 12th Wedding Anniversary this weekend. In all those years, my husband has only called in sick once and he was so sick he couldn’t even sit up. He is such a hard worker and I know that he works hard to provide for us so that I can stay home with the boys and homeschool. I am so thankful for that hardworking spirit that he can pass on to our children. He does a good job of leaving his work there and not bringing it home so he can spend time with his family. I am very thankful God gave him to me. 🙂
We are still very much so newlyweds and learning how to do this. We have both had a failed marriage previously.. God is at the center of our marriage but we have been arguing so much lately! This is not easy, but I definitely thank God for this man, EVERYDAY!! He is a great guy! Such a blessing!
He goes above and beyond for me and our 2 girls. I am very fortunate and lucky.
I love that my husband can make me laugh until it hurts! In a world so full of heartache and pain it feels so wonderful to laugh with the man I love!
I appreciate my husband’s wisdom and discernment. These are truly gifts God has given him and I am so thankful for how he has poured his wisdom into our daughters. They are blessed to have him as their dad.
I love the way my husband loves “our” grandson (he married into having our grandson from my daughter)! He tells me all the time that he could not love this little guy any more than he already does, even if he wasn’t his Grandaddy by blood. Makes my beam! Our grandson actually lived with us for three years. I love them both so much.
Thanks for the reminder that our guys need to be praised…and thanks for the chance to win your new book.
One Of the things I love about my husband is his kind heart.
I am so blessed to have married the love of my life 21 years ago. We are recently “empty nesters” and I love being able to spend time with just him. It’s pretty neat!
I’m new to this whole being married thing and it’s so strange/fun to refer to him as my husband! We just got married in June this year.
I love my husband because he has the most giving and committed heart. He pursues me well, even when I don’t deserve it. He is romantic, tender, and loving. He is willing to work through the hard moments with me. What a blessing to have this wonderful man in my life!
My husband takes are of all the finances, maintains the house and vehicles,all without complaining. He is a great provider and protector. He is my high school sweatheart – married for 28 years. He has a great work ethic.
No matter how bad it got when I was in the worst of my depression, he stuck by me, did his work outside the home as well as mine inside the home, supported me and loved me anyway. He has truly loved me in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.
I am blessed to have married the man that God intended for me. Twenty nine years so far. He works so hard for his family and loves us unconditionally.
I love how much he loves me. I love his love for our children, his protectiveness and loyalty. I love to hear him pray for us.
This may sound silly, every morning my husband lays out my work clothes for me and try’s to coordinate my underclothes with them. He cooks our breakfast while I make our lunch! Although our marriage hasn’t been perfect, it’s perfect for our family.
I love that my husband thinks I’m worth pursuing.
My husband of 20 years has brought out the best in me, encourages me and believes in me. And he’s willing to take me out for a “girlie” lunch at my favorite coffee shop!