A guest post from my friend, ~Darlene Schacht, The Time-Warp Wife
Darkness enveloped the sky drawing its curtain around us, while the rumble of thunder composed a symphony of sound that was carried by on the wings of the wind.
It was only 8 pm, but Michael was fast asleep. Stretched out on his recliner by the window, he dozed off while two little puppies wrestled under his chair.
The steady tip-tapping of rain made me want to curl up beside him and fall asleep too, but I had some dishes that needed to be cleared away and some laundry to do for the morning.
I wasn’t surprised to see him sleeping like that. I knew he’d be exhausted after the crazy week he just had. Working overtime every night, he was struggling to catch up at work.
And the weekend? It wasn’t much better. Since he’s been at the shop so much lately, the honey-do list was long and he was determined to get it all done.
He’s a hard worker, there’s no doubt about that. And weeks like this remind me of just how hard he pushes himself when the going gets tough.
There’s a lot of weight on that man’s shoulders. In fact, I can say that about most husbands I know. Even when they aren’t facing deadlines at work, they are dealing with the spiritual and financial responsibilities that come with leading a family.
While many of them appear to have everything under control, most of our husbands would not only appreciate encouragement from us, they would benefit from it.
Any mom who cares for a growing child knows the importance of praise in their children’s life. Not only does it help to build a healthy sense of self-esteem, it also reminds a child that he or she is loved.
In the same way, any wife who cares for her husband will also know the importance of praise in a marriage. It’s vital to a growing relationship.
Matthew L. Jacobson once wrote, “We need your affirmation – we have to have it and, oh, how we thrive with it. Typically, men are quiet about these things but that doesn’t mean we need and enjoy our wife’s affirmation any less. And every man feels it: When his woman is behind him, he can slay dragons.”
Do you realize that there are four verses in Proverbs alone that talk about nagging wives? They are referred to as quarrelsome, fretful, and a continual dripping. If you have ever experienced a leaky roof, you’ll know how annoying that is. We experienced one about 20 years ago in our back porch, and regardless of how many times I emptied the pail it would only fill up again.
That’s the danger with nagging. It becomes a never-ending habit if left unchecked, and unfortunately it festers resentment. Praise on the other hand has the reverse affect. It builds the bond of marriage and draws a couple closer together.
That’s only two of the benefits, but there are so many more. Let’s look at five of them:
- When you affirm him, you are affirming your love for him. Knowing that someone loves you deeply strengthens the bond of marriage. Think of it this way: we form the strongest friendships with those that we deeply trust.
- When you praise him for the little things he does, it’s more likely that he’ll be encouraged to repeat them in the future.
- When I praise my husband, whether it be in his presence or in his absence, we bear witness of our marriage covenant. Keeping in mind that marriage reflects the covenant between Jesus Christ and the church it’s important to honor our vows in the best way we know how.
- Kindness is an attractive quality. There’s no possible way a wife can be attractive when she’s constantly nagging her husband. Sure, you can put the pretty on, but unless you’re also attractive it wears thin. There’s nothing appealing about a critical spirit.
- He’ll be glad to come home. Let’s face it, the world is tough place. Many of our husbands are dealing with difficult situations at work and need a sense of relief when they walk through the door. Unfortunately, some other husbands are working with women who are building them up outside of the home. If we want a husband who is glad to come home to his wife, we can make him feel welcome by letting him know that we appreciate him, that we respect him, and that we’re glad he is with us.
You are loved by an almighty God,
~Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife
Check out Darlene Schacht’s newest book, Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages
Messy Beautiful Love delivers an incredible testimony of grace that offers hope for today’s marriages and a spark for rekindling love.
Love gets messy.
Financial problems, sickness, aging parents, a chronically unhappy spouse . . . trials will inevitably come that threaten your marriage. No matter how long you’ve been married or how strong your relationship is, sooner or later you are going to have a mess to clean up.
Messy Beautiful Love is about cleaning up messes God’s way, exchanging your ideas for His, and being prepared for both the best and the worst that marriage has to offer.
When you surrender your relationship to God, then and only then will you experience the blessing of marriage as He intended. This is the blessing of obedience.
Messy Beautiful Love is an invitation to that obedience. The cynical world says marriages don’t last, but God knows better. Tune out the world and tune in to Him. When you do that, a beautiful marriage is not only possible, it’s inevitable.
Want to win a copy?
We’re giving away two copies of Darlene’s book, Messy Beautiful Love. Enter to WIN a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below this post, and leave us a comment telling us something you love about your husband. We’ll randomly choose two winners. {If you’re reading this via email, click here to ENTER TO WIN by leaving a comment on my blog}
Discover more from Renee Swope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
– I love to see the joy that overtakes my husband when he is helping someone! 🙂 Whether it is cleaning out someone’s gutters for them, helping them with yard work or just helping someone move, he comes alive when he is able to do something for someone! …I love that about him! ♥
He sounds awesome.
I really need this book; my marriage is in a tough place and I want to fight to get it back. I’m going to start by praising my husband and want to learn more.
Praying for you and your marriage Jackie. Jesus is fighting for you both too!!
What a wonderful reminder! I need to work more at praising my husband! When life gets busy, it seems that is the easiest thing to forget, but the one things that needs to be remembered.
One thing that I love about my husband is his servants heart. He just wants to serve the Lord. He has such a heart to help people. Yes sometimes I get annoyed with people asking him to help because he can’t say no to helping, but it’s one of the things I love about him.
My husband is a wonderful man of God. He’s been a provider for our home. We’ve had some rough roads because we came together as a blended family. People often say blended families do not last. Well, I’m here to tell you they do if God is in the midst. It’s not been easy but we have been married for 10 years and our girls are 17, 17, and 14. When we got married they were 7, 7, and 4. I have said from the beginning of our relationship that he is my angel. I had went through a bad divorce and felt my life was just a complete mess. Then I met him and he’s been wonderful and very supportive. He is a retired Army veteran who served in the Iraq War in 2003. He loves the military and would love to go back active duty if he could. We are going through a big hurdle right now that is challenging but God will see us through. My husband has multiple myeloma which is bone cancer and terminal. He was diagnosed last year and has been through so much in a years time. It is believed that being in Iraq is the reason for his cancer. We are in the process of proving our case at this time. He just says that he handing this disease over to God. Thank you so much and God bless each and everyone of you.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I pray that God will strengthen you both during this time, and I pray for a complete healing for your husband. In Jesus name. Amen.
I love my husband because he is so caring, giving and has a grreat sense of humor. People often comment, “how do you put up with that?” or “you must laugh all the time.” Yes, it is one of the things I love best about him. But the absolute number one thing I love about him is his love for our Lord, and the spiritual leadership he gives. He has always had a strong work ethic, and in fact, I thought Darlene was talking about my husband when she described hers. In a few weeeks we’ll celebrate 25 yrs of marriage. Even through the tough times, I can’t imagine doing life without him.
Michael also has an awesome sense of humour. Pair that with a love for God and you have an awesome combination!
I love the heart my husband has for serving The Lord and how he shares his talents every day ministering toGod’s people!
I am blessed with a wonderful husband. Sometimes I get caught up in the busyness of life and lose sight of that. He is always willing to to help out without being asked, always there with a helping hand not only to me and our family but to others in need. He is a remarkable man of God who lives out his faith.
I love the deep down connection my husband and I share even in the messiest of times it is uncanny how we can be having the same thoughts and ideas.
Wow, thanks for sharing. I could really use this book to help me in our relationship. You spoke of many things. We have been married for 29 years but those have not always been the happiest of years. My husband is the sole bread winner in the home and there is always more for him to do or deal with when he gets home from a long day at work. I know I am not always the encouragement or affirming wife I need to be. I would love to read this book and study what all God says to me about changing me to support and love my husband more.
We can all use change. I love how you’re ready and willing to be clay in the Potter’s hands.
What I love about my husband is that he works so hard for us. He rarely has free time and never complains. I know he’s unhappy with his job, but keeps on plugging because we need him to.
Wow. He brings a sacrificial gift of love to you.
We have moved a lot! And with each move, it is a choice to take better care of our family for one reason or another that life has thrown our way. My husband is a great provider and is always looking to help others, even in our most difficult times.
I love my husband for being so committed in all that he does. He is always dedicated to providing for his family.
I would LOVE to win this book for my daughter who is getting married next Saturday, October 4th. Thank you for the giveaway!
I am Blessed by the Almighty God with a loving, caring husband who is the spiritual and financial provider for our precious family. I am uplifted by all of you beautiful ladies and your words of wisdom. Thank you emmensely! Blessings in Christ Jesus~
One of the things I love about my husband is that he doesn’t mind going places with me… such as family gatherings, antiquing, the farmers market, etc.
There are times I do not understand my husbands line of thinking, but I was just reminded on Sunday by a dear friend from church that he is very special. My friend’s husband is an over the road trucker, and many people ask how her husband is doing, my husband, Kerry, asks her how she is doing and it totally makes her day. I need to ask God for his perspective on my husband. I have much to learn.
One of the things I love about my husband is his caring and generous spirit. One time we passed a guy standing beside the road with a sign. My husband turned in the first fast food place we came to bought a meal and took it back to the guy and gave it to him. He did this at a time when he was struggling with God (and still is) so it impressed me even more. He has such a heart for people hurting.
What a testimony of love. Awesome.
One of the many things I love about my husband is how selfless he is. He is the most caring, respectful man I have ever met.
I love how my husband finds me beautiful when I don’t see it and how he lifts me up when I fall. He is my strength on Earth that God has blessed me with.
Sounds like he mirrors the love of our Savior. What a gift!