Can we have an honest conversation about guilt? Everywhere I go, women are wrestling with feeling guilty all.the.time. And I understand. It’s something I struggle with, too.
If you are familiar with the heavy weight of guilt, pull up a chair and lean in. I’ve invited my friend Ginger Hubbard to share with us some powerful truths she’s learning to hold onto – truths that point her back to God’s grace again again again. Truths she writes about in her book, “Guiltless Living.”
For so long in my life, I struggled with trying to be a good Christian.
Inevitably, I would blow it on a daily basis then proceed to beat myself up spiritually and emotionally.
In setting my standards high for being what I perceived the perfect wife and mom, I chose the woman described in Proverbs 31 as my role model. On one particular morning, I remember reading about her and making unfavorable comparisons.
She got up before it was still dark. I had rolled out of bed around 8:30 am.
She was well dressed in fine linen and purple. I was in a baggy, terrycloth robe with my hair pulled up in an orange chip clip.
She held the distaff while grasping the spindle with her fingers (not sure what those things are, but I am certain they contributed to her noble character). I held the dust buster to the crumbs on my bed sheets while grasping the empty bag of Doritos.
She provided good food for her family and was always on top of things. I offered a choice of Burger King or McDonalds and felt the weight of my unaccomplished to-do list crashing down on me.
In comparison, I did not measure up. I felt anxious, defeated and disappointed in myself.
I wanted to be the wife who was always cheerful, never irritable, and only said words that edified, encouraged and built up. I wanted to be the mom who never lost it and only spoke with kindness, wisdom and faithful instruction. But, as hard as I tried, I always wound up blowing it in some way.
I just could not achieve the “good Christian” status I desired.
Through prayer and studying God’s Word, I began to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I would never achieve being the perfect Christian. I learned that the battle of victorious Christian living could not be won by sheer willpower or by teeth-gritting determination, but by tucking myself underneath the full armor of God and trusting that God is not only fighting for me, but He has already won the battle.
In measuring our self-worth in accordance with our own performances, we not only become anxious, but we miss out on experiencing the peace and rest of who we truly are in Christ.
Our worth is not based on what we do or do not do. It is not based on our successes and failures. It is not even based on whether we sin a little or sin a lot.
Our worth is based solely on Christ and the atoning work He has done on our behalf. We are His children, purchased at a price, forgiven and fully redeemed.
Embracing this wonderful truth brings about freedom. It is the freedom to forget about ourselves and lay down our measuring rods of self-worth and ongoing scrutiny. It is the freedom to release the suffocating anxiety our weaknesses cause, and instead take hold of God’s grace given to us through the cross.
Join me today in letting go of performance-based worth and self-imposed expectations. May we purpose to rest in the victory Christ has already won and truly experience the rich and satisfying joy of guiltless living!
ENTER TO WIN {book giveaway}
Because Ginger has struggled so much with the issue of performance-based self-worth, she has a deep compassion for other struggling women. Se can relate and understand the mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion that comes from this way of living. If you are one of these women, Ginger’s deep desire that you will lay down your measuring rod of self-worth and stop beating yourself up so you can take hold of God’s grace and embrace guiltless living! Today, Ginger is giving away 3 copies of her new book, Guiltless Living!
Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post to leave a comment and ENTER TO WIN.
Discover more from Renee Swope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
WOW! What a needed message at God’s perfect timing! This is an issue I have struggled with majorly in the past and still struggle with on a smaller scale today.
WOW… God’s timing is amazing… I NEEDED this today more than ever….. I am in tears, because I know I am nothing without God. But thankfully His Grace touches us all
Guitless Living has my name written all over it! I live with guilt and it takes a toll on me. I am working to give it to God, but I seem to need to be in control.
Even though I’ve known this is true for quite some time, I struggle to not struggle with feelings of guilt.
I’m a guilty soul like many other women, seeking to grow in understanding God’s grace. My perfectionism and performance orientation can cripple me emotionally and physically. I so need God’s help to repent and change!
Living with guilty daily? Well.. I’m, guilty! I long to be barefoot on the beach with a twirly red polka dotted dress today.
I tend to find it hardest to believe I am loved by Jesus just for who I am instead of what I do when people do things that cause my trust to waiver. I feel unloved when my trust is broken and it has been just lately and now my self worth plummets. I also know Jesus loves me, but do I love myself when put in situations that make me doubt I am loved even by my own husband. I hope to stop letting what other people chose to do affect my sense of unconditional love that Jesus gives to us all. At times His love is all I really can count on and I need to transfer my feelings of low self esteem to knowing I am loved just for “whose” I am!!! God Bless.
Powerful reminder that our identity is in Christ. He loves us, even when we drop the proverbial ball… Thanks for your honesty and transparency – for reminding me I’m not alone on this journey
Just yesterday I spent most of the morning in tears as I reviewed over and over the things I wasn’t measuring up to in life – wife, servant leader, teacher, friend, etc….. the list went on and on. As my world became smaller I just clung to the word “Jesus” “You are enough”. That is what I kept repeating…..
His peace and power often elude me due to my own blocked pathways – praying for a breakthrough today. Thank you for the words from the book. I will try to memorize the scripture for today.
Wow! This really hits home! I would love to read this book!!
This is something I can really relate to. I have always felt like I had to perform in order to be accepted. Only by trusting and believing in what Christ has done for me and Who He is can I be free from this.
I desperately needed to hear this today!! My self-worth has disappeared along with my confidence thanks to an abusive marriage and a protracted, devastating divorce process. I need this book.
I am praying for you as my marriage is in trouble as we speak as well. I can’t sleep or eat and I cry a lot so if you are there…I totally get it. I am relying on Jesus love and all I know about His character to hold my hand as I go through what is to come. Divorce sounds so final but when trust has been broken over and over one starts to feel abused and that is not what God wants for us while we are here on earth. I pray your self worth is not connected with the devastation that divorce brings to any and all that have gone through it. I have watched my daughter and my son go through it and they clung to their values and made it through and are closer to God which means closer to happiness as well. God Bless.
exactly what I need right now !!
Boy – Do I need this one!
To learn how to live and be guilt free from trying to Always please and make Everybody happy . I struggle daily with trying So Hard to be the BEST for Everyone!
I’m a sinner saved by Grace. I was a drug addict for more than 20 years, I gave my life and will to the Lord on 7/27/07. Been clean every since. The Lord Jesus Christ is so full of Mercy and forgiveness. Without His love, I would have never been able to forgive myself. He has restored my family and blessed me more than I ever imagined.
I have had a PHD in guilt for as long as I can remember. Never the perfect child, or woman, or wife, or mom, and way off the mark as the perfect Christian. Isn’t is wonderful that we do indeed “tuck ourselves under the full armor of God?” He fights-we are safe and protected. I have had for the last two months, a terrible infection that just doesn’t want to die. I have prayed, cried, and begged God for help-thinking all the time, “It must be my fault.” Truth is-it is not my fault. sick world often gets to us as well. I believe God is healing me. I would love it to be NOW, but I do believe He is healing. Praise Him! Thank You Jesus! Guilt is not an option.
I need to win this book. This lesson is my story.
Why do I forget it’s all about what He did? Comparing myself to Christian role models, living up to those exhausting self imposed standards and choosing to jump into the pit?
Even the prodigal son came back to “work” for his father and when the son returned to the father he did not need to work as a slave but welcomed him HOME into his arms and grace filled him enough to become the father’s son once again. The point of grace and fullness as a heir. Even in that story, our father, shows this earthly father killing the fatted calf for the son and celebrating – he wanted the son to be secure in his love. BEAUTIFUL. The nature of the Dad not the sin of the son was the focus. Even the son that stayed home was urged to think about that it’s not about his actions but that he just plain loves them both. Amazing.
I want to live in that light each day.
Thank you Ginger for sharing your story! I can cert relate! I smiled at the creativity of using an orange chip clip to hold up your hair! I would love to read your book and share it with my small group and my friends! God bless you for being brave enough to share your story!