Can we have an honest conversation about guilt? Everywhere I go, women are wrestling with feeling guilty all.the.time. And I understand. It’s something I struggle with, too.
If you are familiar with the heavy weight of guilt, pull up a chair and lean in. I’ve invited my friend Ginger Hubbard to share with us some powerful truths she’s learning to hold onto – truths that point her back to God’s grace again again again. Truths she writes about in her book, “Guiltless Living.”
For so long in my life, I struggled with trying to be a good Christian.
Inevitably, I would blow it on a daily basis then proceed to beat myself up spiritually and emotionally.
In setting my standards high for being what I perceived the perfect wife and mom, I chose the woman described in Proverbs 31 as my role model. On one particular morning, I remember reading about her and making unfavorable comparisons.
She got up before it was still dark. I had rolled out of bed around 8:30 am.
She was well dressed in fine linen and purple. I was in a baggy, terrycloth robe with my hair pulled up in an orange chip clip.
She held the distaff while grasping the spindle with her fingers (not sure what those things are, but I am certain they contributed to her noble character). I held the dust buster to the crumbs on my bed sheets while grasping the empty bag of Doritos.
She provided good food for her family and was always on top of things. I offered a choice of Burger King or McDonalds and felt the weight of my unaccomplished to-do list crashing down on me.
In comparison, I did not measure up. I felt anxious, defeated and disappointed in myself.
I wanted to be the wife who was always cheerful, never irritable, and only said words that edified, encouraged and built up. I wanted to be the mom who never lost it and only spoke with kindness, wisdom and faithful instruction. But, as hard as I tried, I always wound up blowing it in some way.
I just could not achieve the “good Christian” status I desired.
Through prayer and studying God’s Word, I began to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I would never achieve being the perfect Christian. I learned that the battle of victorious Christian living could not be won by sheer willpower or by teeth-gritting determination, but by tucking myself underneath the full armor of God and trusting that God is not only fighting for me, but He has already won the battle.
In measuring our self-worth in accordance with our own performances, we not only become anxious, but we miss out on experiencing the peace and rest of who we truly are in Christ.
Our worth is not based on what we do or do not do. It is not based on our successes and failures. It is not even based on whether we sin a little or sin a lot.
Our worth is based solely on Christ and the atoning work He has done on our behalf. We are His children, purchased at a price, forgiven and fully redeemed.
Embracing this wonderful truth brings about freedom. It is the freedom to forget about ourselves and lay down our measuring rods of self-worth and ongoing scrutiny. It is the freedom to release the suffocating anxiety our weaknesses cause, and instead take hold of God’s grace given to us through the cross.
Join me today in letting go of performance-based worth and self-imposed expectations. May we purpose to rest in the victory Christ has already won and truly experience the rich and satisfying joy of guiltless living!
ENTER TO WIN {book giveaway}
Because Ginger has struggled so much with the issue of performance-based self-worth, she has a deep compassion for other struggling women. Se can relate and understand the mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion that comes from this way of living. If you are one of these women, Ginger’s deep desire that you will lay down your measuring rod of self-worth and stop beating yourself up so you can take hold of God’s grace and embrace guiltless living! Today, Ginger is giving away 3 copies of her new book, Guiltless Living!
Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post to leave a comment and ENTER TO WIN.
Discover more from Renee Swope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Thank you for this message. I needed this more than you know today!
Something I think we all struggle with. Thank you!
Wow, sure needed to read this today. I get that guilty living feeling all the time. I do my best but it is never good enough for others and boy do they let you know it. I get up and dressed so I am at least presentable if needed to leave quickly but I have illnesses that people know about but do not know the issues they cause. Some days I can’t leave the bathroom or I do not feel well and just need to go to bed or rest. Extended family is not understanding at all and tell me how irresponsible I am. I am where I need to be when I need to but there are those times I can’t make it no matter what. I am also taking care of an aging parent and it has been none stop doctors appointments, surgery, hospitalizations and I am the only one to take care of her. Again people do not understand the stress and how I react isn’t the same as others. Some can go 24 hours with little difficulty. I can only take so much before I crash. I do put decent meals on the table for dinner unless I am too sick to do so. I guess it’s a long way to say I do what I can do but there are times I cannot do things and I am tired of the “guilt trip” because I cannot always do what everyone wants.
This was so needed.Amen
Thank you for your encouragement!! I grew up being guilty. I had a mother that was never satified with what I did: it was never good enough and as a result was beaten for it!! It has taken many years and being born again that I have overcome some of the guilt!! Your words through God are very poinent to me!! I talk and pray to my Savor to help me with this each and every day!! Thank you that Jesus is enough!!
That sums up How I have Felt for a long time!
Thank you for writing this book. In my past I too have gotten out of bed with pajamas and a hair clip and struggled every day with guilt. Today I have more guilt because I left my husband of 18 years for what I thought was something better. My children have paid the price for that which I never thought they would. My plan didn’t go as I had planned it. But out of all the stress and tears, guilt (I still have today) God redeemed me through it all. I am a Christian for 5 years now.
Oh how I struggle with this. I love the ‘tuck my self under the armour of God’ . Covering my mind with the helmet of salvation never forgetting what Christ did for me. Oh how I want my life to glorify Him! Thank you for writing this book.
No matter how old you get, it still creeps up on you. Just in the last year, I have stopped trying to be a people pleaser and be a God pleaser. Hard to make the transition.
Thank you! I was able to exhale after reading this devotion. Like so many other women I want to measure up to something. After reading this I realize how I have beat myself up in this area. I would love to read your whole book and have it as a guide reference
Knowledge is power and power is freedom to live GUILT FREE! 🙂
Thank you and GOD BLess
Thank you so much for your encouraging words! This really touched me at a time when I’ve struggled so hard to discover my purpose in life at age 55 and shutter at all the things I seem to get wrong or never measure up to (in my eyes!). I’d really love to read your book. Thank you and Praise God for another day to just let go!
This was a timely post!
Thank you for your hopeful and encouraging words.
I too struggle with condemnation when I don’t measure up to my high and sometimes unrealistic expectations.
I am learning slowly, how to give myself grace but it is not an automatic response.
I find myself judging others with my same standards, and I find it hard to give them grace as well,when they don’t measure up..
I am so very tired of this woman.
So thank you again for your words.
So needed this today. With two grown sons and a full time job, guilt has followed me most of my life. Looking forward to reading this book.
As most women I have struggled with feeling that I was not good enough. I believe this was instilled in me as I was growing up. My earthly father would tell us girls we would never amount to anything in life. What a lie straight from the pits of hell. Thankfully my Jesus has changed my way of thinking. Praise His Name! I would like a copy of your book for my new daughter-in- law. She is trying to change everyone around her, perfectionism dosen’t make anyone happy. I tell her that only God can do the work, just trust Him. Pray for this new marriage, it is hard to see my son and his children going through unhappiness.
Saying a prayer
As soon as I read The very 1st sentence, I thought to myself, Ginger Must have been invading my thoughts…I’m 60 yrs old & there hasn’t been a night Since I truly turned my heart over to the Lord @ 16 yrs old , That I haven’t gone to sleep at night broken hearted Because I failed throughout the day to be a “good Christian”….I go to bed Every night guilt ridden, Promising myself, that Tomorrow will be The day, I Finally get it right….To my sobbing self to sleep, I know I blew again another day…HOW do I get over hating myself for being a complete failure?????????????????? tears tears tears tears
I beat myself up all the time over the life I’ve messed up. I can even hold myself accountable for the things I’ve messed up in my husband and kids life. How I long for do overs? I wonder if God did grant do overs if I would have learned from the first time or would I repeat the same errors. I so wish for a way to rid myself of the guilt I have. I’d like to put the blame on my parents for being abusive and never showing my sisters or me any love but then I see women that came from far worse homes and did great raising their families. So the guilt continues. I would love very much to wipe away the guilt and become guiltless. If this book, Guiltless Living does what the title says there will be a lot of happy homes and families. It’s so sad that you’ve lived your life trying to get victory over the mistakes you’ve made only to find that the years have gone by and your still feeling the same way. Best wishes, Sharon
Struggle is all I seem to do. I know GOd is right with me but lately struggle is all I do.
That is all so true
What a relief it is to see that other women struggle with the same thoughts and feelings of inadequacy that I do! I pray that each of us learns to feel as if they are enough in God’s eyes. After all, it is only His opinion that truly matters.