My friend Kathi Lipp has written a book every mom needs to read. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s my friend. I’m saying that because {you} are! Maybe we’ve never met but, because our hearts and lives are connected through my blog or Facebook page, I see you as a friend God’s brought into my life to encourage. A friend to pray for. A friend to offer hope to and remind you of God’s truth for you.
Kathi’s book is unique and the timing of it is perfect! Over the past few months, I’ve heard from countless moms who feel guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom. They are discouraged and depleted. And I’ve been there.
One of my favorite chapters in Kathi’s book is chapter 2, Don’t Hang Out in the Motherhood Alone. Now that will preach! Gosh we need to know we’re not alone, and that our kids aren’t the only kids who struggle or make horrible choices.
Today, I’ve invited Kathi to sit across the table and give us a little help and a lot of hope for our hearts. {And if you’re not a mom I hope you’ll keep reading and share this encouragement with a mom you know!}
My kitchen table has become the Confessional, only better, since I also serve banana muffins.
“My teenager is having sex.”
“I found pot in her dresser,”
“My son got kicked out of school. Preschool.”
I’ve heard it all. All of it.
And what everyone thinks is that as soon as they confess – as soon as they tell someone else about their son cheating at school, that they will automatically move from one category to the next.
They move from Good Mom to Bad Mom.
And now everything that your friend has known as fact is up for debate:
If I’m a good mom, I will raise great kids.
If I take them to church, they will grow up trusting God.
If I pray for my kids, they will turn out fine.
All the things that parenting books and Christian talk radio promised them has gone out the window, along with their sense of self and their hope for their kids. Because of a child’s lousy decision, you or your friend’s world has fallen apart.
So what do you say to the crumpled mom who feels like a mess? The one sitting at your kitchen table or looking at you in the mirror? Here are a few things that have been said to me (and I’ve said to other moms,) that have actually helped when my kids didn’t go according to plan:
- “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” This is especially helpful when it’s a younger child who bit their teacher, hit their brother in the head with a tool box, or had to have security called at Target because they were throwing such a fit. We all think we have great kids – until they’re not. But one bad day doesn’t undo all that parenting that you’ve poured into them.
- “I’m still a fan of your child!” When our child has royally messed up, there is something about another adult who you admire seeing something besides “future adult delinquent” in your child that will give you hope. Let them know how smart, funny, creative and helpful their child is. It really can make a difference. And if it’s your kid, find something to remind yourself, that is good about him.
- “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.
- “God has not given up on your child.” Some the greatest mentors and friends in my life were the ones who were running the furthest away from God in their teens, 20’s and 30’s and causing their parents to be on their knees constantly. God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
- “Me too.” We all need to know that we are not alone. We all need to hear the two sweetest words of community: “Me too.” Let your friend know of your failures – and your child’s failures. “Me too,” is a great sting removed to a hurting parent.
And can I say, thank you? Obviously, if your friend is confiding in you, you have done something to demonstrate that you are a safe place – a refuge. We need more yous in the world.
ENTER TO WIN: (Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
It’s easy to feel worried and anxious as a parent. There are so many areas of your child’s life that can go wrong along the way. What’s a mom to do? In I Need Some Help Here! Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan, Kathi meets you in your moments of panic or despair with wit and wisdom.
In each chapter, Kathi offers the most powerful tools, from prayer to practical tips, for you and your child. The book covers all of the stages of your child’s life from toddler to young adult and tackles the most common issues that cause stress and anxiety, sharing:
- Practical wisdom when your child makes poor choices
- How to pray when your child is running away from God
- Comforting words fore when your child feels left out
- “been there” advice for when your child is different than other kids
Whether you are at the end of your rope, or simply need a little extra support as you walk the parenting road, you’ll cherish Kathi’s heart, humor and experience!
Enter to WIN 2 copies by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below!
(Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
What’s one thing Kathi shared that you will tell yourself or share with a friend this week? And let us know why you’d like to win a copy and what friend will you give the 2nd copy to if your name is chosen?
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How God uses other people & circumstances to draw your child when he’/she is running away from God. He doesn’t give up on my child or me as a parent!
Thank you for reminding me that God has not given up on our children. My daughter is only 16 months old, so if I won, I would want to give it to my friend Jason. His daughter is 18 and joined the Marine Corps right after high school. She is now engaged to a man she’s only known for two months, and just as he was getting ready to break up with her for being too clingy, she dropped the bombshell that she’s pregnant. Before she left, she made a profession of faith and was baptized, and he is a pastor’s son. My friend is furious with his daughter, but at the same time not really surprised it happened. My husband and I reminded him and his wife that God’s not surprised by any of this, but I feel the book will bring them peace of mind that even if they feel she’s messing her life up, God can still use her for His glory.
I have six kids. I have run into every problem and gone through every solution…or so I thought. Then there is the next problem or all the solutions I know have failed. This book would be an inspiration, it would help me think in other ways. Winning it would be awesome, as I said I have six kids :).
I think my new mantra will be, “One bad day doesn’t make you a bad parent!” I think we all need to hear that at some point. I would love to share this book with my new neighbor. She has two little ones and I know that there are days ahead where she will have doubts, and I would love to be able to encourage her along the way.
Love to win a copy. It’s so easy to get caught us in a single bad event and lose sight of the big picture.
I like the part about looking to the Shepard and not the sheep. I’m a single mom since i lost my husband and we have a teenage boy as well as 2 grown daughtet’s. I need all the help and encouragement i can get from the Lord. I would give a book to a friend at church.
GOD has not given up on your child. I needed to hear this. I worry about my daughters and pray that they will find their way. I would give a copy to my oldest daughter Jennifer Gilbert.
My daughter just recently gave her life to the Lord! I am so blessed and happy to know that she will be in heaven with me praising Jesus always! She SO needs this book as she doesn’t always listen to mom’s wisdom. She has only begun to search the Bible and is slow starting….but….she does LOVE to read and learn for her children and needs this book so much! I pray my name is the name you draw! Thank you for this opportunity! Love you ladies and the way you are the Light of Christ to many!
since the birth of my second child I have been in a sort of depression because this job of momma is so much harder than I ever expected. I have my good days and my not so good days. I am learning to not be so stressed about it but any source of information would be helpful. this book sounds like just what I need.
I would like to win this books as I have a daughter whose fallen a different path and also a friend who is dealing with the same thing… Two moms hurting and praying for one another and our daughters..
I would love a copy of this book!
I’ll encourage the mom near me at Target (the one with a screaming toddler) with a me too!
I would really love to be blessed with a copy of this book because I am the step-mom to a beautiful 14 year old girl and mom to a 2 yr old boy. The point that resonated with me was “don’t judge your parenting on one bad day”. Sometimes I feel like a failure when my son won’t listen or when my step daughter and I don’t see eye to eye. Parenting is the toughest thing I’ve ever done! I would also love to give my sister a copy because she is the mom of 3 wonderful kids who are heading into their teens. Thank you for the opportunity. God bless you!
The timeliness of my reading about this book is the reason I would enjoy reading it to encourage young mothers. My children are grown, but would love to share a copy of this with a precious sister in The Lord and mother of three…a preschooler, a 2 1/2 year old ahead of his time, and newborn.
Thanks.
Wow, this book sounds just like what I need. My boys are still very young, but my oldest starts Kindergarten and I am already stressing about the ungodly influences he will have in his life every single day.
Help!!! I need help. I am a widow and I have taken on the wonderful job of raising my granddaughter. I really need help with a very active, confidant young lady!! My niece has just been blessed with daughter # 2 and her first is not even 2 yet–would love to give her a book!! Thank you–Barb
Thank you for sharing!
Don’t put your trust in the sheep…put your trust in the Shepherd. I needed that reminder. 🙂
I have a teenage daughter and an almost teenage son. I feel lost and discouraged very often.
Please pray for me to have wisdom.
If I won the books, I would give the other one to my sister.
I have a strong willed only child with some ADHD tendencies. I would really like this book. I need help.
“I’m still a fan of your child”. What encouraging, comforting words to say! I will remember and use. Thank you. I would read the book for more tips then pray for God to show me who needs it and give the second to our church library for those who are searching the shelves.
I would love to win this book. As a single mom of two teenagers, this is much needed.