My friend Kathi Lipp has written a book every mom needs to read. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s my friend. I’m saying that because {you} are! Maybe we’ve never met but, because our hearts and lives are connected through my blog or Facebook page, I see you as a friend God’s brought into my life to encourage. A friend to pray for. A friend to offer hope to and remind you of God’s truth for you.
Kathi’s book is unique and the timing of it is perfect! Over the past few months, I’ve heard from countless moms who feel guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom. They are discouraged and depleted. And I’ve been there.
One of my favorite chapters in Kathi’s book is chapter 2, Don’t Hang Out in the Motherhood Alone. Now that will preach! Gosh we need to know we’re not alone, and that our kids aren’t the only kids who struggle or make horrible choices.
Today, I’ve invited Kathi to sit across the table and give us a little help and a lot of hope for our hearts. {And if you’re not a mom I hope you’ll keep reading and share this encouragement with a mom you know!}
My kitchen table has become the Confessional, only better, since I also serve banana muffins.
“My teenager is having sex.”
“I found pot in her dresser,”
“My son got kicked out of school. Preschool.”
I’ve heard it all. All of it.
And what everyone thinks is that as soon as they confess – as soon as they tell someone else about their son cheating at school, that they will automatically move from one category to the next.
They move from Good Mom to Bad Mom.
And now everything that your friend has known as fact is up for debate:
If I’m a good mom, I will raise great kids.
If I take them to church, they will grow up trusting God.
If I pray for my kids, they will turn out fine.
All the things that parenting books and Christian talk radio promised them has gone out the window, along with their sense of self and their hope for their kids. Because of a child’s lousy decision, you or your friend’s world has fallen apart.
So what do you say to the crumpled mom who feels like a mess? The one sitting at your kitchen table or looking at you in the mirror? Here are a few things that have been said to me (and I’ve said to other moms,) that have actually helped when my kids didn’t go according to plan:
- “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” This is especially helpful when it’s a younger child who bit their teacher, hit their brother in the head with a tool box, or had to have security called at Target because they were throwing such a fit. We all think we have great kids – until they’re not. But one bad day doesn’t undo all that parenting that you’ve poured into them.
- “I’m still a fan of your child!” When our child has royally messed up, there is something about another adult who you admire seeing something besides “future adult delinquent” in your child that will give you hope. Let them know how smart, funny, creative and helpful their child is. It really can make a difference. And if it’s your kid, find something to remind yourself, that is good about him.
- “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.
- “God has not given up on your child.” Some the greatest mentors and friends in my life were the ones who were running the furthest away from God in their teens, 20’s and 30’s and causing their parents to be on their knees constantly. God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
- “Me too.” We all need to know that we are not alone. We all need to hear the two sweetest words of community: “Me too.” Let your friend know of your failures – and your child’s failures. “Me too,” is a great sting removed to a hurting parent.
And can I say, thank you? Obviously, if your friend is confiding in you, you have done something to demonstrate that you are a safe place – a refuge. We need more yous in the world.
ENTER TO WIN: (Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
It’s easy to feel worried and anxious as a parent. There are so many areas of your child’s life that can go wrong along the way. What’s a mom to do? In I Need Some Help Here! Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan, Kathi meets you in your moments of panic or despair with wit and wisdom.
In each chapter, Kathi offers the most powerful tools, from prayer to practical tips, for you and your child. The book covers all of the stages of your child’s life from toddler to young adult and tackles the most common issues that cause stress and anxiety, sharing:
- Practical wisdom when your child makes poor choices
- How to pray when your child is running away from God
- Comforting words fore when your child feels left out
- “been there” advice for when your child is different than other kids
Whether you are at the end of your rope, or simply need a little extra support as you walk the parenting road, you’ll cherish Kathi’s heart, humor and experience!
Enter to WIN 2 copies by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below!
(Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
What’s one thing Kathi shared that you will tell yourself or share with a friend this week? And let us know why you’d like to win a copy and what friend will you give the 2nd copy to if your name is chosen?
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I don’t have children of my own. It wasn’t in God’s plan for me. However He has given me the gift of working with children. I was a preschool teacher for 20 years and I decided to put my faith in God and start my own preschool. Not just any preschool but one to bridge the learning gap for low income children while teaching and showing the love of Jesus. The message I will carry with me is I’m not perfect and I will make mistakes. This not only helps me, it can have a ripple affect to the children I care for and their parents. If I won, I would make my second copy available to the parents of my students. It takes a village to raise a child and I want all my kids and parents to have every resource available to succeed academically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Thank you
The most beneficial thing that I read in this post was: Don’t base my value as a parent on one “bad day” (or “bad moment”) of parenting. As a single mom, this is the most difficult concept for me to grasp at times because that dang devil likes to tell me lies too.
If I were to be chosen, I would give the second copy to my friend, Nancy Forster, because she too is a single mom of a special needs child (and her daughter has epilepsy). She is one of the strongest women that I know, but I also know that she feels overwhelmed at times too.
Blessings to you all.
I have two very strong willed children. At the ages of 6 and 8, I already feel like I’ve failed them. And continue to fail them, Daily. Would love a copy of her book.
I would love to read this book. Needing a lot of help here. Thank you.
Me too. Everything! I keep thinking, after raising 2 kids and starting over with 2 more, I should be better at this mothering thing. I mean, really. I let Satan talk lies to me and kee me in guilt and shame. My 19 year old daughter eloped with a man she barely knew. Already getting divorced after 7 months. My fault? No. But in my weak moments, I blame myself. Even when I know better. I have a friend I woukd LOVE to share this book with. I’m not alone. I will repeat that over and over.
The past couple of days have been exceptionally trying. I have felt like such a failure of a mom to my four year old daughter. I need to remember that I’m not alone in this feeling. I’m guessing that there are others who need to know that they aren’t alone either. There are a number of people I could give the other copy to but I think it will be to a fellow Coastie wife and friend. Even if I don’t win, I’m going to purchase this book! 🙂 Thank you!
I would love to win this book and share with another mom friend. Sometimes in the rough of it, it gets overwhelming and the next thing I know I can feel a little hopeless.
Love the blog and try to catch up daily!! If I was to win this book since my children are grown I would give it to my daughter who is always self doubting her ” mom abilities”
I would love to win because everyone needs encouragement on this crazy ride that we call parenthood! And the second copy naturally goes to my best friend!
Although I haven’t had experience with all of the topic she talks about, I may in the future. I will give a copy to my best friend.
Because love drives us (moms/parents) to humility on a daily basis. Finding true north on the compass seems to require constant re calibration and seeking out resources to broaden wisdom.
Being a parent is hard work. We don’t have all the answers, but God does. It woud be great to give a book to a young mom in my church that has young children and is feeling overwhelmed. God’s word is the only thing that can change hearts.
This sounds like a book i need!! I am home raising three girls alone. I look for ways to connect with my oldest, 13, this is becoming a challenging age!!
Wow. I am so glad that you wrote a book on these things. My kids are grown but I still have those thoughts of how I should have done something different or more for my children so that they wouldn’t wander from God. I would give the other copy to my niece who has two daughters. One is going into middle school and the other, who is still in elementary school, loves to push the limits with her “creativity”. Both are very bright girls but can be a challenge for my niece and her husband. After I read my copy, I will give it to my daughter who is raising my granddaughter. She needs to hear some of these things too. Thank you for the opportunity to win these books.
It would be a blessing to win this book. I have more days of wondering where I’ve gone wrong than days when I feel like I’m doing something right… and my oldest is only five! I’ll take all the help I can get, and the best thing about a parenting book like this is the knowledge that others need that help as well… so us struggling moms can see we are not alone.
Sounds like an awesome book! Great job Kathi. I would look through the book first because I am a grandma of 6 delightful grandkids, but then pass it on to my daughter Allison, who lives with us along our oldest grandchild and her 10 year old brother. I would give the other book to my daughter Jennifer, who has an 18 month old and a 3 year old.
Wish I had this book when I was raising my kids… 😉
Thanks Renee for a great encouraging blog for all moms…and grandmas!
I would love this book. It seems I generally make things more of a mess when my Children are having a bad day. It’s not until I’m alone and things are quite that I hear gods voice telling me I should have been more gentle. I’m sure this book would help me out.
I need to constantly remember to put my faith in the Shepherd. No matter the situation. I’d love to win the books for myself & my sister!
The book all sounds great, but the part that interests me the most at this time, is the section on a child that is different. I am certain this book will be a reference manual, along with my bible, in the years ahead. Similar to the What to Expect When You Are Expecting book was some years ago. The second book I would definitely give to my sister, who is a hard-working, single mother of a strong-willed child. Unfortunately, my nephew sees very little of his father and my sister can use all the help she can get. Thank you for your generosity and may God richly bless you for sharing your words of wisdom and encouragement with us.
I love the ” I am still a fan of your kid.” What a wonderful thing to say and be! I would love a copy of this book because I learned so much from this little article , imagine what I would learn from a whole book. 🙂 2nd copy would be for my friend Hali because I am a fan of her kids!