My friend Kathi Lipp has written a book every mom needs to read. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s my friend. I’m saying that because {you} are! Maybe we’ve never met but, because our hearts and lives are connected through my blog or Facebook page, I see you as a friend God’s brought into my life to encourage. A friend to pray for. A friend to offer hope to and remind you of God’s truth for you.
Kathi’s book is unique and the timing of it is perfect! Over the past few months, I’ve heard from countless moms who feel guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom. They are discouraged and depleted. And I’ve been there.
One of my favorite chapters in Kathi’s book is chapter 2, Don’t Hang Out in the Motherhood Alone. Now that will preach! Gosh we need to know we’re not alone, and that our kids aren’t the only kids who struggle or make horrible choices.
Today, I’ve invited Kathi to sit across the table and give us a little help and a lot of hope for our hearts. {And if you’re not a mom I hope you’ll keep reading and share this encouragement with a mom you know!}
My kitchen table has become the Confessional, only better, since I also serve banana muffins.
“My teenager is having sex.”
“I found pot in her dresser,”
“My son got kicked out of school. Preschool.”
I’ve heard it all. All of it.
And what everyone thinks is that as soon as they confess – as soon as they tell someone else about their son cheating at school, that they will automatically move from one category to the next.
They move from Good Mom to Bad Mom.
And now everything that your friend has known as fact is up for debate:
If I’m a good mom, I will raise great kids.
If I take them to church, they will grow up trusting God.
If I pray for my kids, they will turn out fine.
All the things that parenting books and Christian talk radio promised them has gone out the window, along with their sense of self and their hope for their kids. Because of a child’s lousy decision, you or your friend’s world has fallen apart.
So what do you say to the crumpled mom who feels like a mess? The one sitting at your kitchen table or looking at you in the mirror? Here are a few things that have been said to me (and I’ve said to other moms,) that have actually helped when my kids didn’t go according to plan:
- “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” This is especially helpful when it’s a younger child who bit their teacher, hit their brother in the head with a tool box, or had to have security called at Target because they were throwing such a fit. We all think we have great kids – until they’re not. But one bad day doesn’t undo all that parenting that you’ve poured into them.
- “I’m still a fan of your child!” When our child has royally messed up, there is something about another adult who you admire seeing something besides “future adult delinquent” in your child that will give you hope. Let them know how smart, funny, creative and helpful their child is. It really can make a difference. And if it’s your kid, find something to remind yourself, that is good about him.
- “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.
- “God has not given up on your child.” Some the greatest mentors and friends in my life were the ones who were running the furthest away from God in their teens, 20’s and 30’s and causing their parents to be on their knees constantly. God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
- “Me too.” We all need to know that we are not alone. We all need to hear the two sweetest words of community: “Me too.” Let your friend know of your failures – and your child’s failures. “Me too,” is a great sting removed to a hurting parent.
And can I say, thank you? Obviously, if your friend is confiding in you, you have done something to demonstrate that you are a safe place – a refuge. We need more yous in the world.
ENTER TO WIN: (Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
It’s easy to feel worried and anxious as a parent. There are so many areas of your child’s life that can go wrong along the way. What’s a mom to do? In I Need Some Help Here! Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan, Kathi meets you in your moments of panic or despair with wit and wisdom.
In each chapter, Kathi offers the most powerful tools, from prayer to practical tips, for you and your child. The book covers all of the stages of your child’s life from toddler to young adult and tackles the most common issues that cause stress and anxiety, sharing:
- Practical wisdom when your child makes poor choices
- How to pray when your child is running away from God
- Comforting words fore when your child feels left out
- “been there” advice for when your child is different than other kids
Whether you are at the end of your rope, or simply need a little extra support as you walk the parenting road, you’ll cherish Kathi’s heart, humor and experience!
Enter to WIN 2 copies by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below!
(Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
What’s one thing Kathi shared that you will tell yourself or share with a friend this week? And let us know why you’d like to win a copy and what friend will you give the 2nd copy to if your name is chosen?
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Such words of wisdom! “When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.” Something I definitely need to remember! As a now stay at home mom my kids become my “job” and the only “performance review” I now get at this job is how well my kids are doing. Needing to remember to keep my eyes and hope on God. Think some of my other stay at home mom friends would love some of this encouragement too.
I would love to win this book as we are battling with how to help our 5 year old son. He is a very angry child. But also the sweetest boy you will ever meet. We have given this to God and it would be nice to hear from another mom and get some helpful CHRISTIAN tips. Thank you so much. Blessed day to you and yours.
“Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” I love this advice because it reminds me that not only is my son one of His sheeps, but so am I. I am looking to win a copy for myself as I enter into the pre-teen/teen years with my son. Also, my second copy would go to my sister in law as she has a two and five year olds. It would be great for her to have this knowledge while her children are still young. Blessings!!
Don’t let one day define you as a parent! I try to remind my girlfriends of this as much as I can. I also need reminded of this often! I would share a copy with my little sister, who is a new mom!
I want to remember to always be a fan of my child. Always encouraging and not always critiquing. If I win this book, I want to give one copy to a friend of mine with a child the same age. We are constantly swapping kid stories!!! 🙂
This sounds like the perfect book for my friend Judy and I. Just today we did a walk together and shared our challenges on the parental front. LOVE the comment not to judge your parenting ( or ANYTHING, for that matter) on a bad day!
Sounds like a great book to read! As a mother of two boys under 5, I’m definitely in need of all practical wisdom I can get!!!
this gave me hope. I feel like a bad parent. I grew up in a dysfunctional home and I feel I am dysfunctional trying to raise children who aren’t. There is so much going on in my home. Sometimes I just want to throw the towel in and say, “I’m done here” on top of everything going on I have this woman, who failed her children, thinking she can save mine. Really? Like I need that on top of what I am in right now. School just ended so I have all 7 of my children together. We don’t have buses so I really didn’t want to put them in any activities that I had to be a taxi for a while. Driving 4 kids, with 3 little ones in tow to drop kids off at 3 different schools and then turn around in 6 hours and do it all over again. I have a reformed cutter but I am still worried that it could happen again, two boys that fight like cats and dogs on a daily. Makes me feel I live in a war zone. A little girl who thinks she’s princess and I am the Cinderella who has to clean up after her. I told her this isn’t your castle and I am not the maid. daily battle there. I am in the process of potty training two boys. They like the thought of being naked. So everytime I turn around I have naked boys. Then I have a son with ODD, OCD, and ADHD all rolled into one child which makes life hard but throw in all the above with it. In the midst of al this I have a laid off husband who has no clue when I say, “I need help here, like now” He still thinks it can do it in his time or he calls on one of the kids to do his job. I keep praying that life will get better. I feel at times I am praying the same prayer every night. I can’t see the end of the tunnel right now but I know one day I will. But for now I am at my wits end…..
i would love to win this book as I am struggling at a military wife with young children that are really challenging me while their father is gone!
I never knew parenting would be so hard- but I love my little blessings so much and I would not have my life any other way. I am quite exhausted right now, however ( we have a 4 year old and a VERY active 2 year old) and I yearn to have more energy to be an even better mom and find more wisdom and peace in parenting in godliness. I would give the 2nd book to another friend of mine who I admire so much- 4 kiddos under 7, one who is very very challenging. She is a wonderful mom and her name is Carly (;
I would LOVE to get this book. As a mom of 4, I have plenty of opportunity to mess up… A LOT! I love the encouragement I get from this blog and others from Proverbs 31 Ministries. I have a sweet friend of 3 that I also know would love this as well. It’s always so nice to hear it’s okay to be a perfectly imperfect mom. Thanks so much!
My 4 children are grown, but I have 9 grandchildren that I spend a lot of time with and I need a refresher in more ways than one! I feel that this book would greatly benefit both me and my children as we continue to “raise up” our children “in the way they should go!”
I love the idea of remembering that one bad day does not define your mothering! I would love to read this book and I would love to share a copy with my sister.
I like to know that I’m not alone. Would love to know what boundaries others set for their daughters.
Not to long ago I said to my husband that I was a bad mom-then recently I’ve read several things by Kathi Lipp -the first was a devo on P31. I would really lime yo read this book for Godly encouragement and to help me start thinking the right way-God’s eYes-and how HE sees me and its just nice to know I’m not alone, my kids aren’t the only ones who have been terribly disrespectful…in public and private and much more:) My sister could use some encouragement as well in her mothering journey. I would bless her with the 2nd book. I think I would probably want to share all about the book with other moms as well. Maybe we could have a book sharing chain-many would be encouraged!
The “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day” if something I always struggle with, so it’s nice to see that others go through that as well!
My favorite piece of advice is “God has not given up on your child.”
If I win, I will give the second book to a dear friend since junior high. And I will give it to her anonymously so that it will be a total gift, and not some preachy thing coming from a friend.
I will share and remember to praise and encourage my friend’s with their parenting. That we are not alone, and that He is on our side. Looks like such a great book!
My favourite advice is “Trust the Shepherd”. I would love to win this book as my children are in the teen/pre-teen phase. I know they will be making more and more of their own decisions and I need to learn to know how to go through this ‘letting go’ stage.
I would give the second copy to Michelle as she is a new Mom and I know she really wants to be a great Mom and raise her kids well.
We both need help from other Mom’s who will say ‘Me too’!!
Two things from above stood out to me, “Don’t judge you’re parenting on one bad day” and “God has not given up on your child”. I have three girls ages 26 , 16 and 6 years old. That’s right every ten years we were blessed with a beautiful daughter in hopes we will eventually get it right. Can’t tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humor 🙂 There have been many times a bad day can cause me to question every parenting decision I have ever made. As well as cause me to toss my hands up and think I give up. How reassuring to know God will never give up. I would love to win a copy of this book not only for myself but to also pass on to my girls. My 26yr old has blessed me with grandchildren so I’m sure she could benefit from this book as well.