I noticed something different as soon as Andrew walked in the door. One evening, not so long ago, my 16-year old came home from working-out at the Y and told me a custodian had stopped him in the hallway and said he “looked like a champion” after working out. Andrew said he felt like giving the guy a hug because it made him feel good someone noticed his hard work lifting weights. Then he felt kind of awkard so he just told him “thanks” and kept walking.
But, when he got to the exit door, Andrew decided to drop his bag and run back to thank the guy for encouraging him.
The next morning as we were heading out the door for school, Andrew was still thinking about what had happened. He said he was tired of thinking about himself all the time and he’d decided any time he gets a sense in his heart that he needs to encourage someone, he’s going to follow through.
I did everything I could to hold back the tears. And with his permission I want to share why.
We have been on a hard part of Andrew’s journey this past year. A journey filled with doubts and hard questions about God, compounded by frustration and uncertainties about his purpose in life.
A journey that has broken my heart and brought me to my knees.
And while praying for my son, I’ve heard wisdom that could only come from his Heavenly Father.
- Wisdom told me not to react, but to listen closely as Andrew vented words that were hard to hear.
- Wisdom told me to keep my mouth shut, and let my actions speak louder than my emotions.
- Wisdom helped me breathe deep and look for ways to affirm unique gifts I’d seen in Andrew that he could no longer see in himself.
I have admired Andrew’s natural tendency to notice and encourage others for years. But it had disappeared. So, I’d been praying 1 Thessalonians 5:11 for him, asking Jesus to help this boy I love remember what brings him joy and purpose.
And God had answered, using the kindness of a stranger to stir up that life-giving gift in my son. That day, a ray of hope broke through the clouds. And each day it gets a little brighter as I stay on my knees and in God’s word on my son’s behalf.
Parenting is hard. It can leave a mama feeling worn out and weary from the battle for the hearts of her children.
If that is you, please keep reading and enter today’s special giveaway. I’m excited to introduce you to my new friend, Brooke McGlothlin. Brooke knows what it’s like to want to wave the white flag and give up the fight but she also knows God has called mothers to get in the battle. So how do we do that in the most effective way? By coming alongside them in prayer.
Brooke just released a new book, Praying for Boys: Asking God for the Things They Need Most, And I love it! So I’m giving away a copy today!
From fun boy mom humor, to insightful biblical wisdom, Brooke helps mothers of boys discover their value and power as praying moms. In Praying for Boys Brooke teaches us to discover delight in the chaos of raising boys, and helps us have more peace in our hearts and homes. {Disclaimer: If you have a daughter, don’t worry I’ve got another friend whose written a book for you and I’ll be giving away one soon!}
But if you are a mom of boys, I want to tell you a little more because this book is a praying-boy-mom’s treasure chest!
Praying for Boys will:
- Help you stop hovering, and start covering.
- Give you permission to wave the white flag, while empowering you with the tools you need to keep going.
- Help you recognize your value and power as a praying mom.
- Overcome feelings of failure, and walk in confidence as a mom.
My favorite part is that Brooke includes over 200 topically-organized, Scripture-based prayer prompts for 21 areas in which boys struggle the most.
Brooke McGlothlin is Co-founder of Raising Boys Ministries, where moms and dads come to discover delight in the chaos of raising boys. You can find her writing about fighting for the hearts of her sons at the MOB Society blog. Brooke is also a homeschooling mom to her two boys and happily married to the man she’s had a crush on since the third grade.
ENTER TO WIN: Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post and tell me about the boys you pray for.
I’ll choose a winner Sunday night, and announce it on my blog Monday, along with the 5 winners that will be picked from Wednesday’s Giveaway.
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Sounds like a great book! I have a 22 and 19 year old . Both have been a blessing in my life. But with everything in life it has been a roller coaster at times. As I get older I see that sometimes the emotional strain is more wearing on me as a mom now than those years with them as little ones physically exhausting me. Wouldn’t change a thing! Love being a mom! 🙂
I am the Mom of two children and teach 5th and 6th grade boys and girls. My daughter is 27 and I pray for her off and on each day as she has suffered through many hurts and difficulties of her own. I pray that God will send her a Christian mate that he has planned for her this time and for God’s blessings to rain down upon her. I know this is about boys, however. I pray for all the boys I have had the privilege to teach or know. My only son passed away when he was turning 7 after a 26 month battle with medulloblastoma (brain tumor) and cancer of the spine. I pray for all mothers of sons that they will treasure them and guide them. I do work with boys each and every day, and I teach Sunday School to 4th and 5th graders. May God bless all of you mothers with the love, strength, wisdom and patience it takes to raise a child. I would love to read and learn from your book, but there are others out there that need the encouragement. Thank you for your posts. Kathi Pride
I am the mother of a 15 year old son. What I love most about my son is his compassion toward others. When he loves someone, it is with his whole heart, no half way. I have always admired his love of God and willingness to be involved in youth ministry, service projects, and mission’s trips. Lately, I have also witnessed his falling away, little-by-little, from God. Sure, he still is involved in youth group and the rest, but I see less of selflessness, and more about approval from others. I have tried to gently speak with him about this, but he denies it adamantly. But moms know! I have spent much time lately praying for a prodigal daughter that I have missed many prayerful opportunities for my son. I would love to read this book and get someone’s insight and encouragement in this area. I am a voracious reader and crave books written by Christian authors such as this. I did the same with regard to my daughter; still a work in progress, but all in God’s timing.
My heart was lifted today after reading your post. I am a mother and grandmother of boys. When our son was growing up, {he is 34 years old now}, there were not websites or women like you giving encouragement and teaching mothers, through experience, on a daily basis. I thank you so much for giving of your time and talent to encourage mothers and women of today.
I have learned through experience, {or maybe I should say mistakes}, how to pray for my twelve year old grandson. He is a sweet loving tween who is trying to figure out his place in this world. He loves playing sports, especially baseball, loves being with his friends and enjoys being with his parents. I see my son and daughter-in-law doing the parenting job of a tween and a five year old little princess and see the pressures of the time we live in. It seems raising children today is so different than when our son was growing up. Children are involved in so many activities at school and outside of school. It not only puts more pressure on the children but the parents also. The juggling of activities causes stress on the family as a whole. Now, my son has taken on the task of going back to college to get his masters degree and teaching certificate. That is just another activity added to their already busy schedule. Praying for our children and grand children is more important today than ever. Satan can use, what seems at the time, very important activities or busy-ness to destroy families. My prayer for my son and his family is for them to focus on what really is important in life and that is God. Keeping their focus on him first and foremost, spending quality family time together along with quality husband and wife time is so important. Family time for them now is spent on the baseball field nine months out of the year. My son coaches travel ball and my grandson plays. I don’t know if this is right or wrong so I pray God will lead this precious family through these busy years. I pray their hearts will stay focused on God. I pray they will seek God’s will in their lives when it comes to decision making. I pray that God will put good Christian friends in their lives that can be a positive influence. I will continue to pray for my boys! I know God can use them to make a difference in their family now and my grandson’s future family. I want them to be strong Christian men making a difference in God’s kingdom.
I want to thank you again for your blog and for the inspiration you give to women, especially young women!
Sincerely,
Gloria {aka/Grandma Gonnie} 😉
I pray for my 4 boys! Ages 9, 12, 15 and 18. Single mom (their dad walked away from it all) – I don’t even know where to begin . . . that should say it all right there!
I so needed to hear these words! I have a son who just turned 16 and we have fought Satan every step of the way for this child’s life. He is defiant, rebellious and honestly makes me want to pull all of my hair out sometimes but I know God has a great purpose for his life. His sisters faithfully walk in the path of The Lord and my son likes to get on the path and stop and detour down every path that can be crossed. The majority of the men in my family have not done so well and I want so much for my son! I just don’t know how to help him. He’s my only boy and sometimes seems like I am hitting my head up against a stone wall! Pray for Hunter! Pray for me to have wisdom to direct my son on the path God has laid for him!
Please be encouraged today. I have come to realize that satan attacks those that he knows God is going to use mightily for the kingdom. Not that He doesn’t use us all, but satan knows that your son will be a strong solider in God’s army and he is doing his best to stop your son. What satan doesn’t realize is that your son has a praying momma! PTL! Don’t be discouraged, keep praying and you are going to see your son turn around. God’s hand is on him. Keep your eyes on Him and all is going to be well. God bless you and your family.
kathy
I’m the deaf mom and son age 14 is hearing. We the deaf parents and our son are Jesus Christ in our hearts. Always praying for son. Sometimes lack of wisdom what best for him his school grades we are concerned, he disliked math! He is intelligent young man… doesn’t seem motivated to bring about any positive change… by his teacher… and I pray and ask God gives us His wisdom (James 1:5) how or what am I do with son, sometimes ran out of idea to give him good reward…he is getting improved by respect to us and teachers… his responsibility is to remain attentive to Him, let Him guide son through the many choices (good or mistake choice) along his pathway that what is pray for… We know teen young boy(s) have peer pressure we understand that but pray for boy(s). Soon his high school coming up this August 2014 for him. We pray for son to reduce playing video games. Video games is good or not good for children? for being habit playing often and was told to limited minutes to play but… We keep pray. And Pray 7 Steps: first step: Put God comes first, second & third is husband/dad & wife/mom, and job, fourth is child(ren) (have or not have children), fifth is family , sixth is ministry and seventh is friends. James 4:10: Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
I don’t have book ‘Praying for Boys’ yet. Always praying for boy(s) without ceasing. 1 Thess. 5:17. And pray for me being walking in confidence as a mom (me) and pray for son God gives him strength, motivate & wisdom learning education in class & at home (family together).
Thank you Renee for sharing with me this e-mail about Brooke McGlothlin’s book I would like to read. God Bless!
I have two boys, aged almost 7 and 10. I have no idea how to help them become strong, generous, helpful, thoughtful men. I had only sisters in my family and my two older children are girls. I definitely need help on this journey.
Thank you for talking on this topic. I am struggling with my kindergarten / 5 year son and his negative out bursts at home and school. I really think I need this book. My daughter never acted like the way my son is acting, and I am clueless as to what to do to help him understand his behavior is not acceptable. We have tried various things in addition to talking to him about his behavior. I am a female and I need insight into a boy’s mind.
It’s assuring to know that God will still work through my imperfections as a parent & that we have resources for encouragement. Prayer is so essential & powerfull, but remiders to continue are needed as distractions will always be around:)
Hi Renee!
I receive your emails and have read your book, A Confident Heart- with our women’s group In Peachtree City, Georgia. My husband recently changed jobs, causing us to move to Montgomery, AL. While this is “home” for him, and I am from Birmingham, we lived in GA for 14 years and I consider it home now. This move has been hard for me. My children have taken it so well! I have 2 boys and a girl, and my oldest boy is 8. He is such a unique, sweet spirited boy. He is gifted, sensitive, and loving. He is super fun to be around and always includes everyone. He was excited to be the new kid in class. (2nd grade). Due to his giftedness, he has some hyper-sensitive tendencies occasionally. The past 2 nights have been so out of character for him- struggling to go to bed because he needs to go through “rituals” first- visions of a scary dog coming in the room to check to see if he is asleep yet… repetitive behaviors that lead me to believe he definitely has childhood OCD. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I am thinking the move has maybe triggered anxiety that is causing these behaviors. Last night was so sad. It broke my heart. I laid hands on him and just prayed over him- with tears pouring down my cheeks, praying for God to release him from this. I laid in bed with him and prayed for him while he was asleep. I tried to figure out- why now God- why am I being attacked during this transition that has been SO extremely difficult for me- and then I knew- Because I have struggled so much this first month here, I felt lead and called to a 21 day Daniel fast. My world has been turned upside down- and I don’t know who I am here. I feel like I have lost myself. I decided to fast in an effort to seek God’s vision for my life here and more than anything to just seek comfort and solace through prayer and the Word. The first day of my fast was yesterday. It was such a great day with the Lord- and then in the evening, this happened with my sweet son- and I felt that satan was attacking me. I know that when you are taking on something that glorifies the Lord- the enemy will try to attack. I felt like he was getting to me through my son… because I had taken on such a lofty goal in my walk with the Lord. I had also just read that morning in Matthew 17 about the demon-possessed son. I felt like I was experiencing it. All this to say, as I press on this morning- and seek out a new pediatrician for us to go to with this- I opened your email. Often, I just glance through it- but this time, I read on down, and was in tears when I saw it was about praying for our boys. I have done this non-stop since last night, and God affirmed me through your words. I hope to read the book soon. Would love a free copy, but will purchase it regardless. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I will rebuke the enemy, and continue to press on.
In Him,
Adrienne Maples
Loved your words today! I have a son who is 21 and I’m praying for him. I learned a hard lesson in 2012 to cover him in prayer instead of hovering over every action and decision in his life. I am also praying for my future son we are trying to adopt from Colombia. I am praying that God will hold him until I can <3
The boys I pray for are my adult son, son-in-law and grandson. I would give the book to my daughter, who is raising her son the best she knows how. She and her husband also have a daughter. The other day he told me, “I don’t like God movies. They are boring to me.” He often lies and then defends the lies when someone challenges him. It breaks my heart and the heart of his mother. He’s still young, so I’m hoping this book will give her the weapons of warfare she needs to fight the battle for his heart!
I have been praying for my son for YEARS and the doubt has been around several times. I keep saying in Gods timing but then I wonder, when is His timing coming. I have to keep reminding myself God knows the plans he has for us (Jeremiah 29:11). It’s really hard sometimes when my son keeps getting knocked down when he tries to get up. I will continue to pray and believe he will be OK in the end.
I have two boys ages 15 and 10 and I have another on the way. Since they are so far apart in age sometimes its difficult to know what is bothering each one individually and how I can help or pray for them.
Hi Everyone, Renee,
I’m so grateful for this message today. You see I have been though some really rough patches with my boys (31/2 and 8 years). I love them with more love than I thought I could ever have for a human being.
When I was in grade school I remember that what I wanted to be was a soccer mom. That was my wish. I loved the thought of driving a mini van full of boisterous boys and cheering them on as they got really muddy. Then promptly after practice or a game, taking them out for icecream or a big dinner.
When I was 19 I got pregnant with my first son ( I was so excited he was a boy) and a few years later came to know the Lord. Then I got married to an emotionally abusive man and had another son (again so happy) but the emotional abuse and my crushed spirit were not match for the raising for two boys. After my husband and I separated the problems with my oldest son went from bad to worse. He had become rebellious and angry and scared. As my younger one grew he developed a very strong willed personality which was an added challenged. Because of the fear and the anxiety that the emotional abuse had triggered and then the stress of suddenly becoming a single mom I was constantly bombarded with lies from the enemy saying that I was going to loose my kids because I couldn’t take care of them and I didn’t really know how. But I DESPERATELY wanted to be a good mom. I loved them so much it hurt. I could see their potential. In the darkest point of all this God led me to Renee Swope’s book A Confident Heart. Through this book I began to gain confidence that God could form me into the mom he had designed me to be. I got a job as a preschool teacher ( the last thing I thought I would become) and began to learn valuable tools in raising boys. Through this job, God strengthened me and reinforced my confidence. I began to establish order in our household and to create modes for encouragement (star charts and M’n’M jars). God began to show me how to discipline in love and how to be kind but firm. in the midst of all this I began to rebuild as well. I began to see how much God loved me even when I messed up as He infused His own love into my heart for the boys in the midst of their messy mornings and difficult bed times. I began to heal from the emotional “death blows” of my marriage and to see that even others in my life had contributed to my pain and difficulty with my children. Knowing he underlying problems has given me the opportunity to heal. With God all things are possible. I am living proof of this truth! Encouraging the boys has become a daily process. I was encouraged by a Family Life Today radio program to leave encouraging notes for your kids every morning. We have been doing this for a week or so – its amazing how they are lifted up by this little task. I’m so proud of them. I’m so thankful that my Abba has given me his love and strength and wisdom.
In His Love,
Cathy
I have two teenage sons and one is really struggling with some things. He considered walking away from his faith, because God isn’t fixing the things that are wrong with him. He has prayed for deliverance in an area of his life, yet God is not hearing him. It breaks my heart because he has had such fire for the Lord in the past. He has a younger brother who looks up to him. If he knows that his “hero” is wavering in his faith, what will that do to his own? I have to leave it at the Father’s feet constantly. It’s one of those things that I can’t fix, even though I would do anything to fix it. He is leaving for college in the fall. I would gladly take any encouragement I can get!
Praying for our 8 year old who faces social challenges and struggles to please this hard to please mom (I’m working on it) and our 3 year old who has his own challenges of speech delay and social/emotional growth.
I pray for my husband, who has a lot of baggage he is dealing with. I pray for my son who has been through alot this past year. I pray for my 3 grandsons who are growing up in this world thankfully knowing God. I pray for our military boys (and girls) to come home safely. I pray for the old men and the young men in our church and our world to become the men of God they are suppose to be.
I truly enjoyed this encouraging article. I am a grandmother with 4 grand kids….2 boys and 2 girls.I pray constantly throughout each day and at night when I cannot sleep.My grandsons are ages 12 and 6 and they have a sister whom is 8. My other granddaughter is 5. My oldest grandson is in middle school and struggles as his friends have all been accepted into competitive sports and he was not chosen.I continually encourage him to keep doing his best and that is pleasing to our Father.Please pray for him to accept each day as God directs.Also, his younger brother is very active and gets into trouble with his teachers at school.He is so sweet and immature but he has to learn to listen and follow rules.He needs our Father’s guidance so please pray for him also.And the parents need prayer support too as they seek to honour God each day.