“I used to feel so far from God, like I had to work my way back to Him after periods of inconsistency in my time with Him, seasons of unbelief or self-sufficiency, or other sins. I was also convinced God had lost His patience with me.Then I’d try harder and eventually fail again.
Finally, I’d get defeated and wonder, “What’s the use in trying?”
But now I know it’s not about trying harder. It’s about turning sooner. It’s about confessing sin and turning back to God’s gift of grace.
Grace is God’s “undeserved favor.” We don’t have to earn it, and we cannot lose it when we act undeserving. Grace is God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Yes, grace cost a lot, but Jesus already paid for it. Because you see… it is “by grace [we] have been saved, through faith—and this not from [ourselves], it is the gift of God” (Eph. 2:8). And God’s grace not only saved us from eternal hell, it saves us from the hell we put ourselves through daily with guilt, shame, self-loathing and condemnation.
Some people ask if grace is a license to sin. A confident woman knows that it’s not. Instead, she realizes grace is the security of knowing God’s love is guaranteed for her because she trusts in Christ. Really understanding His sacrificial gift accomplishes the opposite of granting a license to sin. When we grasp what Jesus did for us, we want to return the gift of His life by offering ours to Him, even if our offering isn’t perfect or even perfectly consistent.” ~ From Chapter 10
Our word for the week is GRACE
Download and print our word for the week in a PDF or in MSWord.
Our verse for us this week: “It is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourself; it is the gift of God -” (Eph. 2:8)
Our prayer for us this week: Lord, thank You that I can approach Your throne of grace with confidence and receive mercy and find grace to help me in my time of need. Because of Your mercy and forgiveness, my guilt-induced doubt is replaced by grace-induced confidence. Help me trust You with all my heart and not lean on my own understanding, acknowledging You in all my ways so You can make my path straight. Those who know Your name trust You, Lord, because You have never deserted those who seek Your help. In Jesus’ Name, amen. {See Hebrews 4:16; 1 John 1:9; Proverbs 3:5–6; Psalm 9:10.}
Let’s Chat: What is one area of your life where you need to receive more of God’s grace and give yourself more grace too?
Please click “share your thoughts” just below this post and do just that. {If you are reading this via email please click here to return to my website to connect with us!}
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I can’t pick just one area of my life that needs grace because all areas of my life need it. Seriously. I’m an all-around mess! But with God’s grace, I like who I’m becoming!
You ask what do I need to learn about to give myself grace, to forgive myself and to receive the Lords grace. The list for me, is my eating habits for which I indulge when I feel sad or not good enough and not worthy. For instant took a college test tonight , I know in my heart I did not do well, so what do I do , I turn to food in hope to feel better. Did it work, nope . I need to stop in times like this to read Gods word, to focus and talk with the Lord. I also have a way of feeling bad if I do not cook dinner at night. But I need to accept Gods grace and to forgive myself for I can only do so much. I ask that the Lord to help guide me, to let me know that I am not super women and that I need to take time not only for myself but to study His word. May the Lord talk with each of us as we continue with this study, so that we can have a closure walk with the Lord. God Bless
Renee this is great. You started out just like I feel…I’m sure I’m not the only one. I start my weeks ready to read and stay focused on God and then the world takes over. I just don’t seem to have enough hours in my day or I just get busy and forgot. How do you forgot the ONE that gave so much for you. I left my burdens at the alter Sunday and I know that God will help me with this issue. Thanks for all your hard work in writing this book. I am positive it has help many, many ladies.
Blessings
JR
Renee! 🙂 I am so thankful for this chapter! I need to receive God,s grace and give myself grace in my eating habits, disciplining my children, being on time to church and regretting past relationships. This chapter was right where I am today. Every chapter has been just what I needed from God when I needed it. I just said days ago to God I give up on loosing weight I’m going to learn to love me right where I’m at because I may never change. I work out, I eat right I loose 5 pounds my cycle comes I crave every sweet salty thing in sight. Then its back to square one. I was worrying about my struggles but then I read chapter 9. I started reading chapter 10 and one of the things I used to worry about happened to me. My daughter came to me to just talk. We laughed, we cried, and went out to lunch and right now she,s in the kitchen cooking for she and I. She,s 15 yrs old and sometimes I get so frustrated with her choices. I say what I shouldn’t. I hate that. She forgives me but most importantly God does way before I forgive myself. I am so enjoying chapter 10!! Thank you again and again for reminding me of Gods grace and your honesty! I love it!!
I needed this today. There doesn’t seem to be an area of my life that I don’t need grace. Parenting, ministry, spiritual life. I’m a recovering perfectionists and I’m struggling with some serious sin issues right now. Thank God for his grace and mercy!
The biggest area in my life that I DESPERATELY need Gods grace is my anger and my tone of voice. I grew up with an angry dad that didn’t know how to control it. I thought I had it under control, but I was wrong. I get very angry, very quickly and easily. I am not violent, but my tone with people, especially those I love, is very harsh and wrong. I try to take deep breaths to calm myself before speaking, but often forget to do that. This is making me crazy and going to cost me my happiness! Please pray for me that I can get this under control at last and be able to show Christ’s love through me to everyone I come into contact with!
Erica, I am struggling with exactly the same thing. It is so good to know that I am not the only one dealing with this issue. The worst of mine comes out at my husband, who doesn’t deserve it. Please pray for me that I will also get this under control at last through God’s grace.
Cindy,
I am praying for you as well. I was in the same place. I had anger and unforgiveness and that was causing me to strike out at the people I loved the most. I was trying to protect my heart from being hurt again while being angry that it was ever hurt in the first place. God will heal you.
Erica,
I am praying with you in agreement that the Lord Himself will break this stronghold of anger in your life. Forgive your dad if you haven,t already. Remember hurt people hurt people. God delivered me from this same stronghold. My dad had a bad temper as well. I meditated on scriptures about forgiveness and anger. That helped me. I said those scriptures over and over. A soft answer turns away wrath, a gentle and a quiet spirit is priceless, etc. I have to live by grace and depend on God. You will get your breakthrough.
.
I hear God’s whispers to do things and I sometimes ignore them~~saying I can’t do that not right now Lord and I move on and then feel guilty for not doing it. The way I talk sometimes to people and I don’t realize how much I must sound like a know it all and I really am not~~I don’t know where I picked these things up that I do and how I treat people sometimes~~~ I need to confess and forgive myself and move on to where I know God wants me to be~Grace to myself~~~~~I see God’s Grace when I grant Grace to someone else~~~and when I thank someone for granting Grace to me I see God also~~~~it is so hard to grant Grace to someone sometimes, but you draw back and grant it and its over and you feel good about it, people don’t do things on purpose sometimes we are all human and will fail someone at sometime and need Grace. Knowing God does not change is such a soothing thought to know that something is constant in my life of things that are not.
Renee~~~~~if you are reading this, the heart did not print out this time on the PDF of our word of Grace and I so love the heart, reminds me of God’s love for us~~~thanks Sue
Hi Sue,
I am here reading and praying for each of you as I read your comments.
About the PDF, the heart is there. I wonder if your printer’s color ink is low or out. I am not sure what to do to help. Did you also open in the MSword doc and try to print??
Susan as I read your post I first thought of something I read last week and copied in my journal – “Accept God’s assingments – the possibility of reward outweighs the potential of regret if we turn them down” I too often turn away from the nudges I feel or the opportunity to share God with someone. I wrote this as a reminder to myself to step out in my faith. God is so good, He is always right there with us, He wants us to depend on His strength.
I also like what you wrote about granting grace. It helped me to remember that God’s awesome gift of Grace is our model of how to treat each other. It is hard to forgive and grant grace when someone hurts us. But it sure does feel good when we can reconcile with someone. I am praying for you Susan, thank you for your post.
I hold myself up to a high standard when it comes to doing it all…laundry, cleaning, getting kids to bed on time, etc…but I lack the private time that God asks from me each day. If I would share some of the load to kids/husband, I bet I could find some time just for Him. I believe He gives me grace, but I wonder if He smacks himself on the head and says…when will she get it?? I don’t need her perfect house, I need her! I’m slowly learning, but I’m so thankful that he is willing to extend grace to me again and again…
I am struggling (again) with being a working Mum (Mom in your language :). I have a sick child today which means I can’t go to work today (I had yesterday off to care for her too) and I feel guilty for taking time off from my job because I work at a government school as a chaplain and I only started at my current school 2 weeks ago. Back in March I quit my current chaplaincy job due to feeling overwhelmed by life and I recognised that i was suffering from depression (again) and that I needed to spend some time with God and sort myself out, but my supervisor went out of her way to keep me and she got me a transfer to my new school instead of me quitting. I really believed at the time that it was God’s plan for me to continue working as a school chaplain but now that I have to take time off from my job to look after my sick child I am feeling like I can’t be a Mum/Mom and work outside the home at the same time! Argh! help! what should I do? I’m sick of trying to keep everyone else happy…it is driving me batty!
Hi Sue,
Please take this with a “rock” (not a grain) of salt because I realize our situations are vastly different. For starters, I do not have any children. And I work for quite a large organization in the US.
Following the recession, I was very lucky to find suitable work outside the home. I knew the position I had accepted would be tough but I had prayed for God to please not open this door if I was not meant to enter it. And He did. Even though I was uncertain (for valid reasons), I trusted Him and went to work.
I love the role but the culture, politics, unrealistic demands and expectations, and stress have often led me to wonder whether it was God or another who led me into this job. And yes, I have felt over and over again as though I cannot please work and I cannot please my husband at home. At times it has felt like a very depressing lose-lose proposition.
While I don’t know how it will all turn out, here’s what I’ve learned a year-plus into it. I can pray for people at work and they DO change. People who were jealous of me, gossiped about me…I have seen some small scale miracles. The job is molding and shaping my character to be less perfectionist, less sensitive to rejection, okay with letting things go and being assertive about my needs at work w/out feeling guilty (these are still growing edges, especially the last one). Concurrently, my husband has learned how to be more patient, grateful for the sacrifices I make, and function more independently. We have also learned to “argue” better by ever so slowly gaining new communication skills.
But I can only see these things as I look back. The changes were very gradual and faith & patience were two key ingredients. At the same time, believe me I still struggle with ambivalence and question how long I am supposed to be there.
Re: keeping everyone happy. I guess learning to Trust God and thank him ahead vs. self-sufficiency is part of the equation. But I know this can be challenging especially when you are in a brand new job and/or caring for a beloved child.
Like I said this may or may not apply to you. God Bless you, I will pray for you.
Lori
Thank you Lori,
your words have helped me to see the big picture; Gods picture and I am able to say this situation is only for a season and from all I’ve been thru and struggled with over the past few years, I can see where God has been at work in my life and that he has bought me to this new position and I need to let go of my feelings of frustration and inadequency and rely on Gods strength and promises.
thanks again, blessings to you and your husband.
Sue
The topic of grace is a big thing for me right now. Yesterday was the first day in many months that I was able to make it through a day without beating myself up over something. A year and a half ago, my husband and I came to Korea. We felt that SO many doors were being opened for us to come here so here we are. In the beginning, I knew it was where God wanted me to be but as time has gone by it has been more and more difficult to find that assurance. My husband was born and grew up here (his parents were missionaries here) so the transition wasn’t difficult. For me though, I had only been out of the US to go to Canada! Every day it was not a matter of if I would make some mistake but when…at least in my mind. I slowly got further and further from God which doesn’t make sense really but I was so stressed because of the different culture, leaving family, friends, pets, everything I’ve ever known. The pain sometimes was unbearable. But I would still spend time with God every morning, without fail, just trying to find the answer to what I was supposed to be doing and how could I make the pain and anxiety stop. Finally, one day He showed me that He was there, no matter how hard I pushed Him away.
A bird had gotten trapped in our building, way up in the top of a dome that is over our entrance. Usually I would be anxious, wondering how to save the bird. This time I just didn’t worry about it. I had given up. A few hours later, I went to see my husband in his office. As I stood in the doorway he said, “the bird just flew by.” I turned around and sure enough the bird had come out of the dome and had come down where there were windows that could be opened to let it out. I went to one side of the bank of windows and my husband went to the other side, opening windows where we could. The bird then flew into his office. “Really?!” was all I could say. In his office though, there are many more windows and a smaller area when the door is shut. Soon, as we stood still, the bird figured it out and went to freedom. All I could think about was “His eye is on the sparrow and I know He’s watching me.” Oh, His grace! I will still struggle and move away from Him still but He always follows and lets me know that He is there!
I need God’s grace in my relationships. I tend to put up walls between myself and others and then wonder why I’m lonely. I’m so afraid of getting hurt. I’m afraid others will not like me if I’m not perfect. I’m very insecure in my friendships, as a wife, and as a mother. I know intellectually God’s grace is there for me, but I can’t seem to let go of my insecurity and rest in the freedom of His grace. I want to tear down the walls and be myself instead of the pretend self I put out their for others.
Jennifer, I share the same struggle- insecurity. It is down right exhausting to put on an act all the time. I love the song by Casting Crowns called “Stained Glass Masquerade.” Those words are my life.
“So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them”
I’m learning that no one is perfect and that is why this book spoke to my heart so clearly. I was so blessed by Renee Swope’s testimony. I too can be confident in who God made me to be. Some days are easier than others. But I am holding on to Jesus and keeping my eyes on Him.
I will be praying for you.
What is one area of your life where you need to receive more of God’s grace and give yourself more grace
too?
To be patient- learning to have more patience- to humble myself…
I need His grace to overcome many things-
I am so thankful! But I have so so much more to learn! Chapter 10 is speaking to me- directly and indirectly, just this weekend we had a pastor from Australia come and speak at our church “New Hope” his name was Pastor Mark Edwards, and his message was about Gideon- and his fear of not having enough soldiers to go to battle with the Midianites- and how he even tested God by asking him to let the ground be wet but the fleece dry…. I SO SEE MYSELF LIKE GIDEON – off & on faith….so bad but so true. I know all about two steps foward and one step back. Lord please forgive me 🙁
Aloha from Hawaii xoxoxo
I have only read the first couple of pages but what an awesome start! It is so good to read about other people who “blow it”. I “blow it” on a daily basis. God is really doing some amazing things in my life right now. I was behind on the reading but I skipped ahead and will focus on chapter 10 this week! God bless you all! God is good!
I am so excited because I am seeing the grace of God exploding everywhere…its being taught all around and I know that I know God wants us to get this and spread it onto others….praise God for His divine grace!!!
Being the perfect parent. I have may examples around me of perfect parents and certainly fall short far too often. It ‘s so difficult being married to a non christian because I am the only christian role model and I feel I drop the ball far too often. I have one child left at home, a teen that’s a good student but lacks often shows me a true lack of respect and then I loose it. Sometimes I don’t even want to try anymore because it’s like a revolving door, we spin around and we’re back to square one again. Often it seems like I’m not making any progress but then there are times when we have a heart to heart and I see that he’s really doing okay. It’s just hard doing it alone and staying consistent.
Lynn, don’t give up. You are planting some wonderful seeds in your child’s life. Right now you don’t see the progress but it will come. Remember, you plant and God will take it from there. Blessings and God’s strength to you.
Thank you Gloria, it’s hard when it seems that other mom’s have it all together. I know I shouldn’t compare but sometimes it’s really hard. I will keep persevering because I know that is what God wants and I am the only Godly example for my son in the home.
I constantly struggle with thoughts that I’m not good enough for God’s love. I have done Bible studies about God’s love, but I never seem to grasp the full concept of what God’s love really means. It’s hard for me to imagine about a love so strong that there are no strings attached, and there will always be forgiveness. I have struggled with lost friendships this past year. These friendships will never be rekindled again. At one time I thought there was a glimmer of hope to maybe get past all of the hurt, but I was only knocked back down again. Sometimes its hard to get past the hurt. I wish I could move on, but I keep going back.
I am in school again at 54 and have a very demanding schedule. I have felt all along that God has called me to go back to school and be in a better postion to help people with menta health issues and I am enjoying the process. The biggest problem I have is that I start trying to do everything on my own and my own way and this often leads me away from spending time with God. I suddenly realize, usually when I am overwhelmed by the amount of work and family obligations, that I am not surrendering my self to His will nor allowing myself to experience His grace. I really get down on myself for my inconsistiencies and feel like a “bad Christian”, very underserving of His grace and love. I have struggled to keep up with this bible study and have not commented because I am frequently behind in the readings. The past four days have been very hectic and I realized I had to stop and find my way back to a place of love and surrender. I picked up your book and it has been like the light of God shining into my heart and brain!
Thank you so much for writing this book and for being so open to God’s plan for your life. It has really helped me see that I don’t have to be perfect. I just need to learn to keep my eyes on Him and allow His grace to wash over me. Thanks again.
Blessings,
Connie
Connie, we have a lot in common! I also went back to s chool later in life and got my degree at age 49! I am often overwhelmed with all my responsibilities; and I keep l ooking for that perfect job in which to use my knowledge. I am too hard on myself for not getting it all accomplished or what I do get done just isn’t good enough. I beat myself up over and over, instead of accepting the fact that I don’t have to be perfect; just be the woman God made me to be.
I sure appreciate the fact that God gives us grace each and every time I fall short of being perfect. I need to accept just to accept myself, faults and failures and know he loves me anyway!
Beth, I really appreciate what you wrote above “I don’t have to be perfect; just be the woman God made me to be.” The latter part is not always easy, sometimes I feel “different” than others and fear of rejection by expressing how God made me. But I am growing to recognize any “difference” and “uniqueness” as God’s thumbprint.
Connie, I can totally understand where your coming from. Much of what you have express fits to a T for me, at the age of 50 I to am attending college. Between school, working and home/wife responsibilities, I to become overwhelmed. I have been able to stay on track for the most part with this bible study, but at the same time I continue to feel bad that I have not had all the free time, I would like so that I could totally stay focused in this bible study. Don’t think this study has not helped me, because it has impacted my heart over and over and over. But I continue to try to push myself with all the duties and then when I can not keep up or do poorly on a test, I beat my self up. I need to forgive myself and remind myself that God loves me for who I am, not because I am super women. I need to continue to remind myself that when things happen or interrupt my normal routine of the day, that God is trying to talk with me, to help me turn to Him for I am a piece of clay that He is molding in the preparation of my journey to heaven. I need to stop and remind myself, you can do what is needed and to let the Lord guide me. For without the Lord, His love and His grace I am nothing, but as a Christian I deserve to take time for myself, my friends and my family and the Lord will provide according to what He wants me to have and do. God Bless and take it one day at a time, fall off, get back up, refocus with the Lord as your guiding light and learn to forgive yourself just as the Lord has forgiving us. I need to do the same. God Bless
praying God blesses you in your new career : ). I’m 51.
I think I need God’s grace and my own grace more in basically everything. I feel especially guily for any mistakes I have made as a mother. I’m discovering that I’m kind of an anxious person and don’t have many friends. I had a friend who loved Jesus who showed me by her actions that women can be supporters of each other. I went to her memorial service this past weekend.
Thank you so much to both of you more mature students for sharing your thoughts on this. I have just resigned from my current school and 13 years in education to go back to school full-time for three years in pursuit of a completely new career/degree in allied health–with no income! It’s frightening financially, and I am a perfectionist, so I have been afraid I will not only be too hard on myself budget-wise but also study constantly trying to ace every test and let God and my close relationships slip down to lower priority levels. I do NOT want that to happen! This chapter challenged me again to make time for God each day–to KNOW him–even if that time is listening to Christian music in the car and praying during my commute to classes and back home every day. I love the name Jehovah Jireh on so many levels–as a reminder of where our good gifts all come from as well as a reminder that he will provide physically for those who love him and strive to be like him and use their skills, knowledge and talents for him. Plus, he is the ONLY provider of perfect grace and mercy, which I will need so much of when I fall short academically or in making that special time for God and His word every day. I just don’t want to put this book down, pick up the anatomy texts and forget GRACE. So grateful to get this awesome message now…spiritual armor. 🙂
I feel like I need more of God’s grace when it comes to my perfectionism. Ugh!! I know that book as addressed this in some previous chapters but, alas, it’s an ongoing “issue” w/me. I know there’s only ever been one perfect man but I’m just not able to accept anything less than perfect when it comes to myself. I know better but it’s a constant struggle. I’m like Cheryl and her kitchen, I’ll do well for a few days but then……..it’s back to square one. I’m so thankful that He is patient w/me!! PTL!!! Thank you too Renee for this awesome book!! You’re a blessing!! 🙂
The one area of my life where I need to give myself more grace and need God’s GRACE to enable me to do what God wants me to do is — to clean my kitchen every night after supper. God wants me to work hard after supper and leave my kitchen spotless so I and my family can wake up yto a spotless kitchen. However very often I am not able to do it. I might do it two days in a row and then I feel victorious, but then the third night I go to bed without cleaning my kitchen. Sometimes I wake up and 2 am or 3 am in a panic and go downstairs and clean everything but some days not until 7 or 8 am. I hate myself when I am not able to do it and I keep asking God to give me victory in this area. I make excuses like “I work hard to make that supper” or if I say, if my family complimented me over the nice dinner then I could’ve cleaned the kitchen but I do know these are just excuses. I don’t know what happens to me but after supper I just feel tired and then I tell myself I will just relax for a few minutes and then I’ll clean but I never do. I make notes to myself all over the house and it does not help either. If I am able to do this chore 21 days in a row , i know I would have formed a habit. As I go along on this Bible study I am giving myself Grace whenevr I mess us. I say to myself, ” I am confident of this very thing that HE who started a good work in me will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. ” Please can you pray for victory for me in this area.
Blessings!
Anna
anna, don’t be so hard on yourself because God is not condemning you for an “unclean” kitchen, so don’t do it to yourself. i, too, struggle with many issues due to procrastination and i have learned that God is wanting these things to be done for US…not for HIM!!! yes, it will honor Him to show those you entertain the pride you have in what God has blessed you with, but it also honors Him when you cry out to Him for His help. THAT’s one of the lessons of obedience. but we also come to learn what freedom there is in accomplishing things for ourselves…that it’s OUR clean kitchen, that WE cleaned, because we want to treat the gifts He gives to us as blessings. i am now trying to imagine myself at someone else’s home….would that kitchen be spotless after dinner??!!! yes, it would. as my gift to them. how much more a gift from my Heavenly Father should be treated.
i hope you hear my heart, because this is just as much for me. to learn to give grace to myself, as the Father gives to His children.
God’s blessings, anna, as you shine for God….just as your kitchen will!!!
Thank you so much Tara, for your kind words. It means a lot to me that you believe that with God’s help I will get there. May God bless you abundantly.
Anna
Anna, i don’t think God cares if you have a sparkling clean kitchen or not. I think he cares more about us taking care of of physical & mental temples (our bodies) than making sure our houses are clean. blessings Sue from Australia
Thanks Sue for your kind words. Thanks for encouraging me and reminding me that my mental and physical body is God’s temple. It is amazing that thanks to this study someone from Australia who I have never met and probably never will meet encouraged me. May God bless you, I prayed this morning that God will guide your path. I hope your daughter is feeling better
Blessings,
Anna
Those first paragraphs could have very well been my own. I spent so much time pushing God out of my life because I always felt like I wasn’t good enough. Then, my boyfriend invited me to church and only because I loved my boyfriend did I go. And then, our pastor preached about Grace and the burden of being good enough was lifted. I realized how much grace God had already granted me in my life and it made me crave His presence. Grace is a very powerful thing. I wish I had learned about it earlier in life.
Cheryl, I too went to church just because my boyfriend invited me. But now I see that God put me together with my boyfriend so I could come to know Him. I grew up knowing about God, but never knowing God. Oh how I needed God’s Grace and to learn that it is His free gift to me, that I am forgiven, that He loves me and as you say, my burdens are lifted.