“We can trust God’s plans as we realize that His story is being written into ours. His power is perfected in the broken places we consider to be our greatest weaknesses – our most vulnerable emotions we don’t want anyone to know about. In those hiding places, God calls us out of captivity. When we’re willing to let Him, He brings hope for our future despite the pain of our past.” – Chapter 4
Chapter 4 takes a lot of courage. And I’m so proud of you for being here and not giving up, for wanting all He has for you. I know your Heavenly Father is so proud of you too, for your pursuit and your willingness to walk with Him one step at a time. Remember Christ died to forgive our sins but also to heal our souls so that we can live in Him – with HOPE again!
Don’t give up friend, no matter what! Stay close to Jesus. Stay connected here. We’re in this together. HE is so worthy!! And you? You are so worth it!!
Here’s this week’s messages. Please don’t miss it. I want to be able to share with you face to face this. You were on my mind and in my prayers when I filmed this teaching several weeks ago. Please click the arrow below to watch.
Message Notes: You can download video “Message Notes” in a PDF format here or in a MSWord doc here. I encourage you to watch it once and just let God speak to your heart. Then if you want to, watch it a second time and follow along with the message notes which include parts of the message, verses and blanks to fill in. 🙂
I know the timelines I encourage you to do are scary for many. I really do understand. And it takes time. I wish I had shared that more clearly in the book. Today I’m praying for God to give you courage and perseverance to press through any fear that would keep you from starting it. Fear is Satan’s way of keeping us from the freedom God wants in our lives. You don’t have to do a timeline if you don’t want to or if God doesn’t lead you to. The reason I encourage one is because it’s valuable for us to identify memories and emotions caused in the past that play a role in how you see ourselves and others, and how we handle life and relationships today.
In her comments under this post, May shared how she’s been taking it a little at a time and how answering the questions at the end of the chapter has helped her start her timeline.
Connecting in Community: Let’s share with each other what God showed you through our video message? Also, if you feel comfortable, please share some of your answers to questions at end of Chapter 4.
Click “share your thoughts” right below this post and do just that. I’ll be here reading and praying and commenting as time allows. Let’s take a minute today to pray for or encourage someone else as time allows. This chapter is one where it sure is good to know we have friends here to pray and walk beside us, isn’t it? LOVE you guys!!!
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A little late on this but wanted to share my answers from chapter 4.
Question 1 . I was lied to and betrayed by several boyfriends and friends through high school and college and always struggled with trusting others. With that I also struggled with trusting god that he did unconditionally love me and forgave me. He wants my perspective to say that I can trust him with all my hurts and failures and that he will use everything he has brought to me to bring me through.
2. Several years ago I really was ready for motherhood and to start a family but my husband was not. I kept asking god if you love me then why am not a mom yet? I was very sad and overwhelmed by this but through it learned that I needed to trust god’s timing and not my own. Last year I became pregnant and gave birth to my beautiful daughter Abby on feb 28th of this year. She will be turning one in just a few weeks.
3. My sister in law and brother have been trying to have kids for several years now and have dealt with infertility issues. Seeing them struggle with this has been hard on me. My sister in law got pregnant last year but ended up having a miscarriage. Although I have never experienced infertility issues I feel that god has used me to bring comfort to them. I know how it feels to really want kids and to not have it happen in the time I wanted it too. I have comforted them by telling them to pray and trust god that he has a purpose and plan for them through this.
4. I have had to learn how to trust god and others in my life completely just like I mentioned in number 1. I dated someone in high school who was controlling, jealous, verbally abusive, and a liar. Needless to say it was not a good relationship and caused me to keep my distance and stop trusting others. He was my first love and I was deeply hurt.
5.he promises a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair, and he will be a great oak that the lord has planted for his glory.
6. Unforgiveness holds you hostage because you are filled with anger and hurt inside of you and don’t release it.
7. I have run from the story that god has written in my life. I sense him inviting me to share with someone the broken to beautiful pieces of my life.
It is so amazing how God works in our lives. Everything I have picked up this week has had the verse Jer. 29:11 on it. I know that God loves me and cares for me but I have found a new hope for today and tomorrow, and to keep my focus on Him.
In refernce to Chapter 4 and the questions at the end – I have definately run from the story God had written in my life. It makes me so very sad every day.
Hi to all,
I just wanted to put out a request for prayer. My Dad has been ill for quite some time and they don’t think he will make it past today. I especially ask prayer for my Mom, and all the family. Thank you so
much.
V, I pray God’s peace for your family and strength in this time. Lord, carry this burden for them, as they see their earthly father/husband off to his new home with you.
Thank you so much for your prayers. Very much appreciated.
Praying for you V, how is your dad??
Renee,
Thank you so much for your prayers. My Dad passed away yesterday afternoon. The funeral will be on Saturday. Thank you so much. God bless you.
This chapter is very deep and heavy for me to read. At first I thought, “heck, this will be easy!”. But WHAM! God brought a lot of unresolved issues and wanted me to deal with them through Him. I think this chapter will not be like other chapters in our lives that we close and move on, this is a chapter that I will keep working through. New challenges each and everyday. But, through Gods forgiveness and grace He will lead us ALL through! Victoriously!
I have been praying and continue to pray for all of us P31 sisters. God brought us all together for a reason..to glorify Him.
This chapter was so timely for me this week. My husband lost his job on tuesday. But praise the lord that i was hired a week prior to that at a great job with fabulous benefits. I have used so much of chapter 4 to help both my husband and I handle this storm with God at our side and not let old fears creep in.
AUTHORINE says
Feburary11,2012,
IRenee, I am glad that you’re okay.I am thankful that I am reading and studing this book.My eyes have been open about so much.Reading the comments have been so inspiring and encouraging for me. Praying for .all the ladies for all you are going through.May God bless you.
Answer to question # 7. Yes, I have run from the story God written in my life. At the end of this chapter (I don’t know how to know the page # on my Kindle edition), Renee, you said we find Him over and over again. We find Him who leads us to the freedom that He wants us to have. I too have walked it, wrestled with it, resisted it, and finally surrendered it just this past few weeks. God’s love is not only perfect and unfailing, it redeems and restores. His truth does cut to the core of our struggles, bringing purpose to our pain, redemption from our past and hope for our future!
I know several people who needs to hear there is hope in what they are dealing with. Actually yesterday I talked, prayed, and sang the song In the Calm to one of them. I was at his house with his wife and grandsons. He is dealing with Parkinson’s and asked me to sit with him on the couch. He told me that I looked really calm with all that I have dealt with and that he wanted to touch my arm so that he could be calm. Then he told me that he felt that the Parkinson’s is taking over his life and he can’t control his shakes. Next thing I know I knew that God was prompting me to not only pray for him but also share my story with him. Then I sang him the song. You know that while I was doing this he became so calm and stopped shaking.
It’s funny how I offered to tell my story to this friend before I even knew about this question! God works in mysterious ways! Yes, I will continue relying on God to have me share the story He wants me to share with many people. I am no longer going to run from it anymore. I want God to speak through me to help others.
Thank you Renee. Much of what you have experience aim going through now. My parents divorced when I was young. I looked up to my dad. I always wanted to go with him everywhere he went. Yes, daddy’s little girl. He didn’t seem as if he wanted me or wanted to be around me. I didn’t understand why. Growing up, I never got over that. I’m still struggling Forsyth that. But like you said it is a process. I like to say that I’m a work in progress because I have a lot of growing up to do. I can admit that. But I often have found that I would get into relationships because I was searching for something that I didn’t get as a child with my dad. My uncle would try to fill that void but like I said I was daddy’s girl. I wanted my dad to be a dad. I found my husband and boy I love him. Lately I have found that I have a lot of bitterness and resentment but am unsure where that is coming from. When I read this chapter, it put it all into perspective. I have to be able to forgive my father for the past as well as other instances, and I also have to forgive myself for some wrongs that I have committed against other people because I was messed up. Thank you for this first step for me.
#4 Past relationships have made me feel that there was no hope for change in the future. This has affected my relationships today by making it difficult to trust, be open and vulnerable with others, esp. with the opposite gender. With the help of my Lord and Savior, my Healer this has gotten much better–the past couple of years.
#6 Unforgiveness keeps us in bondage and can cause us to become bitter. To forgive is not only to set someone free it has the power to set us free as well. Forgivness puts God on the road/path to our healing from the hurt. Unforgiveness keeps us from growing in our wa;k with God. Unforgiveness gives satan a foothold to use the hurt against us, to lead us away from god and toward destruction in our lives. Forgivness releases Satan’s hold on us, so God’s power and love can step in to begin our healing process. I don’t feel there is someone at this time that I need to forgive. If I am wrong on this matter I am sure god will let me know it. I have had to forgive alot of people, and with God’s power and strength I did it. forgiveness has great power in it to set us free.
Something I learned from a card I was given:
HOW TO SPELL FORGIVE
Forget slights and wrongs.
Open your heart.
Reach out to others.
Grant pardon for all.
Invite dialogue.
Value peace.
Empathize and understand.
Be kind and commpassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13).
God Bless Each and Every One of My Sisters Doing This Study, Prayers Our With You All.
Thankyou Caroline for this, I definitely need some encouragement in the area of forgiveness tonight & this really helped! My husband, myself & our 10 month old have all been really sick for over a week & needless to say it has caused alot of tension in our marriage this week. Your comment really challenged me to look at forgiveness in a new way & to forgive & ask for forgiveness from my husband! .
Amen sister
Thank you for your video. I really liked what you said about how the Lord can help us to the following in our lives as we try to deal with or handle past or present struggles:
– Allow God to begin the process of past memories or failures
– Ask Jesus to search our hearts of past sins or struggles
– Allow Him to bring His perspective to the situation
-Redemption and Restoration will come.
– God’s love is redeeming
Thanks Angela, I love how you broke it down into simple statements we can remember 🙂
This is an amazing study Renee! Something good will come from all the hurt. This music video was shared with me and it goes along with this study. Listen and enjoy. I am so glad you are better! Blessings and love, Pat
Thank you Pat for sharing this music video with us it surely does tie in with this chapter. It made my day and was also something I needed to hear today. I t served as a good reminder that god is with us. God Bless
This morning started out peaceful but then I got bad news in the mail but I had yet to come to Renee’s page and be filled with everyone’s testimony as to how God is working in their lives and I knew my peace would be revived. I just read the last comment and I am again filled with the sense of God that is received by joining this community and praying for others as their needs are revealed. I am not done with Chapter 4 but that is my next task that I am looking forward to, especially after enjoying your video Renee. Thank-you all for the blessings from this community.
This chapter was a confirmation for me, as several months ago, I had felt God prompting me to write down all the childhood hurts that I had been trying to ignore for so many years. It took me over 2 months to get through the process – but it was worth it. It was as if putting those events and feelings onto the page somehow released me from being in bondage to them. Each event, whether little or not, seemed to lose any power over me, as I put a face to them. The truth that I discovered along the way was that although I had taken these issues to God and even forgiven the people involved, I hadn’t handed the hurt over. I think I was ashamed….the fact that I had been so rejected by my own parents was surely a reflection on my failure as a daughter – and now as a woman. If I didn’t talk about it, think about it,or deal with it….then maybe I wasn’t really such a let down to everyone. Facing the pain – voicing how it made me feel – was truely liberating. Through the process I came to see that I had spent so much time trying to make my parents love me more…trying to be equal to my sister….but I just never could measure up. God made me see that I can’t MAKE them love me more than they do. It wasn’t my job to try to change them….that was His job. It was a futile exercise, and it was distracting me from living in the freedom he had planned for me. What He showed me was that I didn’t have to work hard to be loved by HIM – in fact I didn’t have to work at all! He showed me that He doesn’t have “favorites” and that He loved me “before I was formed in my mother’s womb”. I felt total acceptance by the creator of the universe!! I know that total healing is a process, but I encourage you to dig deep and face the things you have pushed down the furtherest. There truely is LIGHT at the end of the tunnel!
I’ve made a timeline. Starting was easy as I put in the highlights of my life – birth, a move at 11, graduation, the birth of my son, finding a really good job, accepting Christ, joining a really good church, etc. That was earlier this week. Since then I’ve add other events that God is bringing to mind. Recklessly losing my virginity at 18 is pursuit of love and protection. 22 years of poor relationship choices that lead to my becoming a single parent at 22 and never finding that husband, love and protection I was looking for. Since God opened my eyes to my need for Him in 1999 I so wish I could say things are better, I know they are but it’s been a long journey, and some days I simply long for heaven – this world is so hard. I thought I had processed all the emotions, but apparently not, and I’m not eagar to go there but I see the wisdom of doing this again with God and in the way you just described in the video.
I’m so glad you are going through the book slowly, it’s really helping me to read each chapter once through and then again to highlight and meditate and then a third time as I answer the questions at the end. Today is Sat and with the addition of the timeline I’m behind on the questions but don’t feel pressured and that’s such a plus in this fast paced, pressure driven world. God bless you Rene and all my sisters in Christ on this journey.
Thank you Renee for sharing your struggles with us. This chapter has come at such a perfect time for me as I am going through some very challenging times at work right now. I realize that some of my emotions and thoughts of failure, unworthiness, unacceptance is a result of my past. Unfortunately, my situation at work has now created bitterness in my heart towards a colleague and I feel so yucky inside. Yet on he outside I am this calm and positive person. It’s tough pretending that I am not hurt. The Lord has a plan for me and I know He is using this season in my life for a reason. Please pray that I may soften my heart towards my colleague and that my actions and words will be a positive reflection of our savior.
What you are saying is so true .The enemy will use past hurts to keep you from God .My dad died and blamed me for why he lefted me as a child I tryed to hug him on his death bed he pushed me away .Then I recieved christ About a 1 year later and continually hearing your not saved God rejected you >over and over .I asked for counsle from the Holy spirit and my Dad came to mind And confessed to God I was rejected by him and he showed me how the enemy used my hurt to keep me from his smiling face.I was rejected at birth but my abba is greater .
Renee,
I am enjoying A Confident Heart so much! God is truly using it to help and strengthen me as I walk this journey to a heart that is confident. Although I am participating weekly, I am reading farther ahead and then I’m going back and reading those chapters and reviewing the questions again. I have to tell you the review questions have really been so insightful. I have pages and pages of answers in a notebook. Thank you, again, for being willing to allow God to make your mess HIS message. It’s speaking to me : )
Hello sweet sisters…I woke up so early this morning…Started praying our prayers and looking at highlighted areas…It brought me to trying yet again, so many times in my life of counseling and trying to heal, it brought me to so many blanks, so little remembered of 16 years of my life…after that time I remember more and most of it is all my sinful ways as I searched for someone, anyone to love me….I found a man who I know now just wanted what he wanted. He was wild and crazy and that was all I knew as a child in my home. So I slept with him, at 16…I lost my most special place, I lost so much more but through it all I gained a son. At 17 I was pregnant…18 I married him and had my son….21 divorced and abandoned yet again…That son is 38 now and one of two sons who are the joy of my life…Those years are hard to look at, but God! I feel pain and hurt and I am so grateful i can give it to Him, because I don’t want to hurt anymore…”Can anybody hear her, does anyone even know she is here…”…Thank you all my sweet sisters…Peggy
I set out to do this study thinking it will help me through the things I’m experiencing with my “adult” children. As i go further in the study and every time I watch your video, I’m beginning to think God has something different in mind or something more. I have repressed so much of my past to protect others and myself,because, I am terrified of what God will ask me to do. I haven’t been able to dig in to the timeline, i use time as an excuse, but God and I both know why I don’t. I have felt like I am in a good place. Why mess it up? The more I read the book and others stories….I know it’s so God can use me for His glory. Please pray i find the courage to really dig in and let God search the darkest place, so that I won’t be held captive to my past.