Day 5: But I Don’t Have Anything Special to Offer
Taken in part from Chapter 8 of A Confident Heart
© 2011 by Renee Swope with Revell Publishing
Food for thought: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” (Ps. 139:13 NIV))
I sat in the circle praying we’d run out of time before it was my turn. The facilitator of our team-building activity had asked our group to answer two questions: What do you love to do? If finances were unlimited and failure was impossible, what would be your dream?
I didn’t have any answers. But just in case I had to say something, I listened to everyone else describe their dreams, hoping to get ideas. One wanted to be the first female president of the United States. Another friend said she’d always wanted to sing in a Christian rock band. I knew I was in trouble.
I was thirty-two at the time and didn’t know who I was or what my dreams were. When everyone eventually looked to me for a response, I stumbled over my words. Then I finally admitted I didn’t really know what I loved to do.
Immediately self-doubt whispered, “That is because dreams are for confident people who have something special to offer, and you don’t.”
I’d never taken time to think about or answer those kinds of questions. Instead, I had tried to be who others wanted or needed me to be. But honestly, I wasn’t very good at it. I often had this uneasy feeling of just not being happy. And I was a constant candidate for burnout.
I realize now that I wasn’t living out the truth held in our key verse today: “[God] created my inmost being; [He] knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Ps. 139:13 NIV).
That day in the circle, after I fumbled around looking for an answer during team-building time, our facilitator encouraged me to ask God what His dreams were for my life. I took her advice and started the process of becoming the “real me” who had gotten buried in the busyness of life and people-pleasing.
As I read books that talked about discovering our passions, gifts, and personality traits, I started to identify what I liked. I recognized strengths that came natural for me, and learned what I needed emotionally to encourage my heart.
For the first time, I realized there was an important reason I was who I was—with my passionate preferences and mixed bag of emotions. Instead of wanting me to be like women I knew and admired, I sensed that God wanted to use the unique way He made me. And I started to discover that I did have something special to offer, after all.
Isn’t it easy to neglect ourselves to meet the needs of everyone around us, and call it self-sacrifice? It sounds godly. But in doing so we risk shutting down a place in our soul where God’s dreams and gifts are waiting to be revealed. The truth is: you and I were not designed to be whom others expect us to be, or even want us to be. We were created to become all that God planned for us to be.
So, how well do you know the real you? Have you ever taken time to think about what you like to do? What personality traits, abilities, or experiences do you have? What would make your heart come alive if you had the confidence and resources to do it?
Although it might feel self-seeking, it’s actually God-seeking to take time to get to know the woman He created you to be. Remember God had a plan in mind when He made you. He shaped you with purpose. When you surrender your unique passions, gifts, and personality to Him, God will use them to guide you toward His dreams for your life.
Lord, I want to know the woman You had in mind when You created my inmost being and knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful and I am one of them. I pray You would help me become the woman You created me to be. I don’t want to grow old and never know Your purpose for my life. Show me Your dreams for me so I can offer what You want to give to those around me. In Jesus’ name, Amen. (See Psalm 139:13–14)
Doubt Diet Tip: We all have a natural body shape. I’m shaped like a pear; always have been, always will be. In the same way God gives us a natural body shape physically, He also gives us a natural “body shape” spiritually, to equip us for His purpose in the body of Christ.
In chapter 8 of A Confident Heart, I share what happened next in this part of my journey and how God walked me (and now I can walk you) through process of discovering my SHAPE by showing me what makes me unique and gives me something special to offer those around me. One of the first steps was identifying my spiritual gifts. Here’s a FREE Spiritual Gifts Assessment I’ve downloaded for you to take so you can discover an important part of your God-given shape!
Let’s Talk: Do you ever feel like you don’t have anything special to offer? How did today’s devotion speak to your heart?
Please return to my website (if you’re reading this via email), then scroll to the bottom of today’s post and click on “Share Your Thoughts.” I can’t wait to read your comments and encourage one another!
Discover more from Renee Swope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
I can’ t begin to tell you how much your writing reaches in and touches me to the core. It’s as if your words are coming from my heart and pouring out onto the pages through your hands. I’m almost 50 now. Seems strange to see that in print, I have spent amost of my life trying to be who others wanted or needed me to be as well. I never felt “enough” . Having a gift to share with others, well, like you, I felt that was reserved for other people, not me. But, through God’s great grace and love, I now have the chance to see my gifts and know myself – a gift he has been whispering to me all along. I am so glad for God’s patience and love. Keep writing – your work is wonderful. Many blessings and love to you.
greetings ladies, it is something special when you see ladies from all different areas and backgrounds posting comments on a web site….it makes my heart smile in a time when life has been a bit burdensome for my family and myself….the economy has hit hard where we live and money is scarce, but we continue to have hope and strength in the ONE who knows and understands our every need….thank you for sharing your hearts and allowing me the privilege of reading and praying for all the needs of precious women….our Lord bless each and every one of you…….it truly does boost my confidence to know we are in this together.
my prayer is that you continue to be encouraged, delivered, and restored by the WORD of GOD and His promises…i thank you for your prayers and intercession on our behalf, ladies
peace, susan
I want to thank you for writing a book that i can sink my teeth into. Its inspirational,purging and leaves feeling like there is hope for the unconfident woman. I thought i would never meet anybody that comes close to what i was going through all my life. It is just good to know that someone has gone through some of the things i have gone through. I am 42 years old and it took me this long to realize that i had issues that needed to be worked on. My thing is you can go through your whole life and not know that there is something wrong or you do know and ignore it and just dont know what to do about it. I think i always knew but just wouldn’t take the time out with God so he can help me fix it but nevertheless, i thank God. I have finally arrive at the starting point
Hi! You who are in your 40’s and 50’s don’t despair if you don’t know your calling yet. Perhaps you are already doing it and just are not aware.
I am 72 years old, retired, and now have the time, if not full energy, to jump into what I call my “mission”. I am called upon to be a clown and make people smile and laugh. I do karaoke with Special Populations and that led to dancing and dressing up once a month for holidays. I met a guitar teacher volunteer with visually impaired persons in a Hope Chest buying tapes. Not being gifted musically, I can still encourage and support their gifts. Thru them I discovered a group of visually impaired women who get together once a month to attend “events”. I meet with them and can help them by explaining what I see that they can’t. Recently we went to a butterfly estate locally, and though some couldn’t see the butterflies, they said they experience a sense of peace being there. With all my costumes, I recently did a little talk for Girl Scout Leaders and some Brownie leaders took me up on my offer to play Juliette Lowe on her birthday. I didn’t know Mrs. Lowe , founder of the girl scouts, was deaf, so I used that as a jumping off point to encourage girls that they can do everything. The leaders have asked me to accompany them to Christmas Caroling at a local nursing home as Mrs. Santa Claus. One activity has lead me to another. Our library has a program called community conversations. It only takes one day a month to go into the elder community and reminsce with seniors – so much fun!
I encourage anyone (with or without talent!) with limited time to keep your eyes open for what you can do. You will be surprised………..
I too have been asked the question, what my dreams are, and I had no answer, I too get busy meeting other peoples needs, and don’t even know my self,,, I lost myself somewhere. Your devotion is encouraging me to take the time to look at myself… and see who God created me to be!
Hi Renee,
I haven’t read your entire book but I have read up to chapter 3 and I have to say I found it hard not to cry even having read only that much. I struggle to believe I have any worth much less something to offer even in the body of Christ. I, almost daily, ask the Lord what my purpose is in His kingdom because I can’t see it. It wasn’t until years after I became born again in my late 30’s that He showed me how broken I was. I believe He is walking me through the healing process, but still I sometimes don’t know how to let go and just believe Him and His word. Being raised among so much favoritism (I wasn’t the favored one as you can tell) did not make it easy growing up. However, there was plenty of ridicule and humiliation. And it’s sad but there is too much favoritism even in the church. Also, growing up around people with strong and harsh personalities has really damaged me. Their personalities against my timid, insecure and withdrawn personality was no match for me. What made matters worse is that those who should have been defending me just allowed it. I let these people give me my worth! As a child, I did not know any better nor did I have anyone to teach me. Even now whenever I have expressed what my spirit is hearing, I have been treated with hostility by some of my siblings who claim to be born again. My reaction is that I shut down and now I find myself unable to be who I am in Christ around them because of how they have treated me. The Lord showed me a couple of months ago how no one can silence me but myself. That was a painful truth I had to see. But knowing the truth is one thing. It’s the walking it out that I struggle with.
I find it sad that even women calling themselves christians are damaging already broken women even more. That may be because they themselves are still broken in areas of their lives. One particular christian woman I know is really big on making women feel like the princesses they are to Jesus, however, this same woman will turn around and destroy another woman. You cannot pick and choose who deserves to be treated like Jesus’ princess for God is no respector of persons. That is not agape love.
For as long as I can remember, I have been bound to these lies of the enemy and I long to be the woman He made me to be, which is a powerful and confident yet gentle woman in Christ. So in His name and strength I am going to continue seeking Him and asking Him to make me whole. Recently I was having to deal with an issue with a fellow christian involving sexual immorality. I went to my Pastor and asked for prayer and he told me something so powerful that made me think. He said, “When you confront them, do not fear their countenance.” I thought to myself, “WOW!” Does the Lord know me or what?. That makes so much sense. I was not the one doing anything wrong but people will react as if you are the wrong one because they know they are guilty. I saw how that has been the case with those who I have let silence me for speaking truth. But they will make you feel like you are the problem.
I want to say thank you for your much needed book that the Lord has used you to write for Him. So many women (and men) are broken but we pretend we are okay. I don’t have women in the church I feel I can come to and confide in but I know there has to be one out there. May the Lord send her to me. Please pray for me.
In Christ,
Angie