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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

Something Needed To Change

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked myself in a frustrated and condemning tone. I had forgotten an appointment and missed an important call that morning, so that same question had popped into my head more than once.

But it wasn’t just a question, it was an assumption, a label of defect I slapped on myself every time I asked it — not just that day but on so many other days. When I forgot to do something important, was late for a meeting, yelled at my kids, lost my keys, missed a deadline, or walked into a room and couldn’t remember why I went in there. The list was endless.

And, every time I asked, “What’s wrong with me?” I actually told myself something was wrong with me. Then I would try to figure out my elusive fault so I could fix, or hide it.

But that morning, for the first time, I started to recognize what I was doing. When I paused to really think about it, I realized how damaging my thoughts were. To my soul and my mindset. My question wasn’t making things better; it was making things worse. And something needed to change.

What about you? How often do you berate yourself with questions and assumptions that make you feel defective? Are you tired of assuming something is wrong with you? Are you tired of trying to figure out and fix your elusive faults? Are you tired of feeling like a defect?

We all do this for different reasons, but we have at least one reason in common: we have a spiritual enemy who is a pro at pointing out all that is wrong with us (real or perceived) and getting us to forget anything that is right with us.

Scripture tells us when Satan lies, he speaks his native language because he is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44). His intent is to get us to believe lies that make us feel defective, defeated, and discouraged. 

It’s what he did with Eve in the Garden by getting her to take her eyes off who she was and all she had as God’s child and to focus her thoughts on what she lacked, so she would spend her time trying to hide her insecurities and inadequacies.

“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. So the Lord God called out to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” Then he asked, “Who told you that you were naked?” Genesis 3:8-11 (CSB)

Notice how God asked them: “Who told you that you were naked?”  In other words, “Who told you something is wrong with you?” By asking this question, He acknowledged someone else was pointing out their flaws and casting shame on them — but it wasn’t Him.

God wanted them to know there was another character in their story, someone speaking lies into their hearts causing them to move away from Him and each other. He wants us to know this reality in our story as well. 

We have the same enemy who wants us to believe the same lie – that something is wrong with us. But what if instead of going along with him, we stopped and asked the same question: Who is telling me something is wrong with me? What/who is making me feel defective and defeated? Is it me? Is it someone else? Or it the enemy telling me lies I easily believe?

It’s time to change the questions we’re asking and the assumptions we’re making about ourselves.

We’ve got to recognize Satan’s schemes and defuse his deceit with discernment and truth. So, the next time you feel defeated or defective, instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?” stop and tell yourself all that is right with you: 

You are God’s “workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works.” Ephesians 2:10
You are “remarkably and wondrously made.” Psalm 139:14
“In all these things [you] are more than [a conqueror] through Him who loved [you].” Romans 8:37

Period. The end.

With Christ in you, there is nothing wrong with you. Don’t let anyone, not even yourself, convince you otherwise.

Comments

  2. Thank you, Renee! You have spoken such words of truth I know I sure needed to hear after a few rough weeks at work. I have asked myself, what did I do wrong? what is wrong with me? Yes, I think I need to hear these words at least once a day!! Thank you for all you do in ministry; you are my favorite author!!

  3. I do that too! I never thought about it that way. Thank you for speaking truth to me this morning. Need to change my script. I love who I am in Christ Jesus. ❤️

  4. I got my DVD today and have been watching and can’t wait till the ladies get their books and we begin!!
    However, on the first session, you stated a free printable download, “Don’t Throw Away Your Confidence”. You said it was one
    your web site. I have not been able to find it and would like to print and then make the ladies a copy.
    I am not compute smart, so I could be over looking something.

    Thank you!
    Christine

    • Hey Christine. You should be able to put the DVD in your computer and access the PDF that way. If you do not have a DVD drive in your computer we can email you a link to access them.

  5. I LOVE THIS!! Thank you, Sweetheart! It’s really good to be reminded that we are complete in Christ and of great worth to Him. If we know and believe on His words about us, we can ‘flip the script’ on our enemy and write a different story. Philippians 4:6-9 comes to mind.

  7. Thank you for this it is so true I find it very easy to put myself down all the time and feel there is something wrong with me so reading this made me realise that it is not true and that I need to begin to challenge these thoughts and concentrate on what God says about me. Thank you.

  8. I ask myself all the time what’s wrong with me after discovering my husband had an affair . It’s been 3 years and I still think I wasn’t enough. Thank you for this

  10. Wonderful encouraging words!! I am starting or rebuilding a Women’s Ministry at the church that we are now going to. 15 women are ready to serve and the first Bible Study I will do will be, ” A Confident Heart.”
    Thank you for sharing this as I will share with my beautiful Committee!!

    • Well, you just made my day Christine!! You sharing life-giving truth with your leadership team is a precious gift. And that you are going to make your first study, A Confident Heart, just makes me smile so big my face hurts. 🙂

      I’m praying for you right now as you lead in this new role as shepherd, visionary, friend, prayer-warrior and encourager for the women in your church and community!! I know you are doing to be an amazing gift to them all!!

      • Dear Renee,Thank you for everything that you have written! I purchased one of your books a confident heart, and the Lord is bringing so much healing into my life and I’m eternally grateful and thankful! I’m so glad I found your book and your website it’s truly a blessing so many broken women are being healed and delivered! Please don’t ever stop writing, please don’t ever stop speaking his word, please don’t ever stop because God is doing a work through you !!!Once again thank you ….my name is Lisa d! God blessyou…..?

        • Thank you so much for taking time to leave a comment and let me know how Jesus is meeting you in the pages of A Confident Heart and bringing healing to your heart. That means the world to me, as a writer. And is an answer to so many prayers I prayed as I wrote the book (with tears streaming down my cheeks at times). Your words of encouragement and admonishment to keep writing are straight from the Lord, as I am writing this weekend. So thank you for your obedience to share those words from your heart and His! xoxo ~Renee

    • I love that Angela!! We need friends who look out for our hearts and minds. Im glad you are looking out for theirs – and trust that they’ve got your back too!! Ps. thank you for sharing!

    • You are SO welcome. I think this is a message, a truth, a reminder we ALL need to hear – probably at least once a week. 🙂