Have you ever wished you could know the difference between conviction and condemnation? Are you tired of feeling weighed down with guilt and shame?
If so, you’re not alone! I believe condemnation is one of our most common and crippling heart-struggles. And I’m determined to kick them to the curb! I hope you’ll join me.
In my Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion today, I share the major difference between condemnation and conviction.
Condemnation is usually a broad stroke of shame that sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements about who we are in an insulting and accusing way. The tone of condemnation is always accusing, questioning, confusing and will leads to feelings of guilt and self-hatred.
Conviction is specific and won’t condemn us for who we are, but will be more focused on something we’ve done. The Holy Spirit’s conviction always includes wisdom and instruction to lead us towards resolution, not shame.
Condemnation focuses on the problem. Conviction offers a solution.
- Take a minute to write down the most frequent shaming, blaming or accusing thoughts you have that make you feel condemned.
- Using the contrasting examples between conviction and condemnation below, re-write the statement and replace your words of condemnation with convicting yet loving truths the Holy Spirit might say.
- Be sure to offer yourself forgiveness plus a solution that reflects God’s goal of restoration and His tone of grace.
Instead of the lie: “You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend],” the Holy Spirit might say, “You were really critical the way you talked to _________. You need to say you’re sorry and ask forgiveness. Then say something to build them up instead of tearing them down.”
Instead of the accusing label: “You’re so hypocritical!” The Holy Spirit might say, “You judge others for gossiping, but you’re doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Apologize for what you said today and share a few things that are positive about her.”
These are two steps to help us kick condemnation to the curb, and there’s more but….
** Due to technical roadblocks and major scheduling challenges, my “3 Ways to Kick Condemnation to the Curb” is not quite finalized. But no worries!! I’d LOVE to SEND it to YOU via EMAIL today this week. Just ENTER your EMAIL below!
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Renee, I am often on the receiving end of those feelings of guilt for offensive behaviors…in my words and in my thoughts. The guilt really overwhelms me when I am aware but just cannot put a lid on it…I am sorry and say so immediately but it is this knowledge of my weakness and constant struggle with it that begins to take me down the “I am not good enough” path! I have read and participated in your “A Confident Heart” OBS twice, yours and the following OBS at P31. I would love to read your devotional to get a dose a day, like a multivitamin…. thx for this opportunity! God bless!
Your writing is always so encouraging. You did an excellent job of comparing and contrasting condemnation and conviction. I will join you in kicking condemnation to the curb. When I fall short, I will strive to not condemn myself but think what would the Holy Spirit say. I would love to receive a prayer journal and CD as I do not have those. I have one of your devotionals and an extra one that is currently “checked out” by a lady at my church. Thank you for your wisdom and your giveaways.
I continually have thoughts that play in my head regarding not being good enough. It doesnt help either when you are looking for a job for two years and get rejection notices or told you werent selected. My house is in disarray okay so it would remind someone of oscar madision. I do read inspiring books but it is hard to put into practice.
This is probably my greatest struggle. I seem to hear on repeat all of.the enemy’s lies and it’s the same record I’ve been list to for most of my life. I am ready to break free and be the woman God made me to be!
This past year has been a living nightmare full of guilt and shame as flashbacks and nightmares replay themselves over and over related to abuse. If you have any ideas on letting go of the guilt and shame that I am dealing with it would be appreciated. As a result of the pass I have just lost my job. Now there is so much guilt for not getting better and for not working. I confine myself to my house most of the time and am very lonely. I feel like if I made better decisions as a kid I would be married and have kids. Instead my life continues to spiral out of control.
I grew up feeling like I never did any thing right… and it carries over to my adult life…I seem to forever be saying I’m sorry when I know in fact it is not my fault… I let the effects of condemnation over power me… at some point I feel Gods arms wrap me up lovingly and show me a better way… the feeling of God loving me is like nothing else of importance … I feel so silly when I feel Satans condemnation and know Gods loving conviction would be better…
Our life has just been turned upside down. My husband & I were planning to buy my parents home & build in-law quarters for my Mom. My older brother put a stop to those plans on July 4th. He yelled at us, called both of us horrible names, accused us of bullying our Mother and only doing this for selfish reasons. We prayed and talked about this & believe God telling us to stop now before there are more angry words spoken. The history with my brother & I is not the best, he sexually abused me for 2 years when I was 12, asked our parents to refinance their house so he could buy a bar and never paid them back, was found guilty of inappropriate touching his daughter and served jail time. I felt guilty when this was made public, if I would have said something, maybe my niece would not have been hurt. God is great and has showed me His love, grace and mercy over and over – even when I give Him my pain and guilt and ask for it back again. Praise Him for taking it once again for me!
I lost my 16 yr old daughter to domestic violence. The guilt I feel daily is so powerful and overwhelming I cannot describe it. I have felt many times that I should have died beside her that night. I know we are supposed to live our life with if only and could/should have but it seems impossible not too.
Pamela, I cannot imagine the weight of your pain and the temptation of guilt as a mom. I am sure I would feel the same way. And it’s part of the grieving, I’m sure. Here’s what I know, Jesus and your daughter don’t want you to let Satan, and the person who killed your child, take your life too. Give yourself time to heal, and talk to someone who can help you, walk with you though this trauma and deep loss, and the natural feelings of “if only” and “I should have…” just know this, that is not what God is saying to you. His heart breaks with yours, and so does mine. Carrying you in my prayers to the feet of Jesus tonight.
Thank you for your prayers.
Thank you.
Loved your book, would love the devotional to remind myself everyday that I am loved and accepted. Thanks!
Renee:
Thank you so much for sharing the difference between condemnation and conviction. I actually had an experience yesterday, that kind of relates. I am currently looking for a job, and I quit my last job, because my boss lied to me on several occasions. I had one potential employer tell me that he had said some not nice things, even though this particular person didn’t believe him. I was worried some might….so I called my friend and asked her to call this old boss, and pretend she was going to be interviewing me, to see what he was saying…..I know AWFUL IDEA…..Not only was I trying to deceive my old boss, but I had asked a friend to lie. I knew Jesus was telling me it was wrong, but I rationalized the situation….However, when I read your devotional today, the Holy Spirit lovingly convicted me, again. It wasn’t a condemning accusation, it was a “this is not how you should act, please apologize and don’t go through with this”. So I sent her a text and apologized for asking her to do such a thing. Again, thank you for always being so open and honest about your feelings/issues, it helps the rest of us do the same.
XOXO,
Chasidy
Im so proud of you Chasidy!! It’s easy to justify things like that when we’ve been hurt but you chose God’s ways that are higher by listening to the Holy Spirit’s conviction. What a courageous and honest decision you made! God will honor you for honoring Him in that way. Again, so proud of you girl!!
This devotional will greatly assist me in goal to draw closer to God. I daily feel unworthy of not only his love and care but that of my family and husband. I really feel in a pit, and logically know how I got there yet I struggle with pulling myself out. I recently had a baby and I find myself comparing my body image to my husbands ex-wife who has lost lots of weight while I have been gaining. I feel fat and ugly and very unattractive. I believe it has a lot to do with my luke warm relationship with my creator. While I was pregnant I felt confident and sure of myself…….I ask for your prayers, thank you
Praying for you Lidia. Praying you will draw so close to Jesus right now and let Him pull you out of that pit with His cords of lovingkindness and His ties of unconditional love. Here’s a link to a page where you can SIGN UP for my free 5-day EMAIL devotional. http://reneeswope.com/aconfidentheart/7-day-doubt-diet/
I pray it would really encourage you!!
I’ve never heard it put this way and it really opened my eyes. This will really help me to stop condemning myself for mistakes of 10+ years that I have already repented of. THANK YOU.
Thank you so much for this. God’s timing is perfect. Our Sunday School Group had this exact discussion on Sunday morning. I shared with them!
So thankful for the Lord to inspire you to write this blog. I truly needed this after a non Christian friend posted on facebook about how hypocritical Christians are and that they are brainwashed and have no ideas. I’m so glad to read the truth about this very situation!
Wow this sounds like my life story. I constantly find myself in the jaws of shame. My sister when I was younger made a poster of truths vs. lies and Bible verses to memorize. I could definitely use a reminder myself these days. Also, leading mentoring at my church most women deal with this in some form or another so this would be a great resource for them. Thx for the book giveaway and may you be blessed for your gracious generous heart!
Every day I fall into some sort of trap of self-condemnation and would love to know how to avoid this.
Renee, I love your insights – they relate great, basic Christian principles! This is exactly what I need to share with a young mother who was recently incarcerated due to bad decisions she made (specifically drugs). THANK YOU for this timely blog.
I think you can help me with all your great wisdom and your great devotions. I would love to join you on this journey. I know I would surely benefit from God and you together. I need more self-esteem, God bless you.
Like so many others on here, I let Satan run my life, and adding to that a lack of faith, or even knowledge of God, ruined my life and almost caused me to want to end mine last year. Believe me I tried and had it planned but a few attempts later, God apparently wasn’t ready to see me yet and had other plans for me. Thank you Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior – He saved me from the depths of despair and complete darkness. I know He has forgiven me and loves me, although I too doubt how could someone so perfect and beautiful love someone like me but I have to, and we all have to, trust our Lord and Savior that he died for us and our sins, no matter how terrible. I have to believe that or I discount him. Seeing these posts from Renee and the Proverbs31 team honestly helps me, they truly do, to focus on that love and to keep going. My life is far from perfect, but I know I won’t let myself go back down there again… Keep hoping and praying! Blessings to all.