Should I be honest? I wondered.
What if I start crying? What if she doesn’t really have time to listen? What if she’s just asking to be nice?
I could keep it simple and say, “I’m fine.”
There I was, standing in the lobby at church waiting for my husband, when a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time walked up and asked how I was doing. Our 3-year-old had recently been diagnosed with Apraxia, a severe speech disorder, and I was not “fine.”
I was exhausted. I was overwhelmed. I was afraid.
Sometimes it’s hard to let people know how we’re really doing because we don’t want to be high maintenance, right? And it’s easy to believe people don’t really want to know when they ask. Sometimes they don’t.
But what about those times when others sincerely want to know and I still don’t want to tell them? Especially when I don’t have good excuse for not being “fine.”
There are times when I tell people I’m fine even when I’m not, because I want to be. Or, I hope by saying “I’m fine” that somehow eventually I will be.
Other times I act like I’m fine because I think others expect me to be.
Then there are days when hormones trump all good manners and, if my people are within ten feet, they know I am NOT fine. And if I say I am, what I really mean is that I’m Frazzled, Irritated, Neurotic, and Exhausted!
But not in public. Not where others can see the real me.
And that is where I stood that day in the lobby at church. In public, at a pivotal point of decision, wondering… Should I let her know how I’m really doing?
Everything in me wanted to keep my guard up, keep my heart sealed off and my lips sealed tight…
You can keep reading today’s post at the (in)Courage community blog by CLICKING HERE where I’m guest-posting and hanging out today. I’d love to see you there and chat about about being real about how we’re “really” doing. Come on over and share your thoughts!