Have you ever wished you could know the difference between conviction and condemnation? Are you tired of feeling weighed down with guilt and shame?
If so, you’re not alone! I believe condemnation is one of our most common and crippling heart-struggles. And I’m determined to kick them to the curb! I hope you’ll join me.
In my Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion today, I share the major difference between condemnation and conviction.
Condemnation is usually a broad stroke of shame that sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements about who we are in an insulting and accusing way. The tone of condemnation is always accusing, questioning, confusing and will leads to feelings of guilt and self-hatred.
Conviction is specific and won’t condemn us for who we are, but will be more focused on something we’ve done. The Holy Spirit’s conviction always includes wisdom and instruction to lead us towards resolution, not shame.
Condemnation focuses on the problem. Conviction offers a solution.
- Take a minute to write down the most frequent shaming, blaming or accusing thoughts you have that make you feel condemned.
- Using the contrasting examples between conviction and condemnation below, re-write the statement and replace your words of condemnation with convicting yet loving truths the Holy Spirit might say.
- Be sure to offer yourself forgiveness plus a solution that reflects God’s goal of restoration and His tone of grace.
Instead of the lie: “You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend],” the Holy Spirit might say, “You were really critical the way you talked to _________. You need to say you’re sorry and ask forgiveness. Then say something to build them up instead of tearing them down.”
Instead of the accusing label: “You’re so hypocritical!” The Holy Spirit might say, “You judge others for gossiping, but you’re doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Apologize for what you said today and share a few things that are positive about her.”
These are two steps to help us kick condemnation to the curb, and there’s more but….
** Due to technical roadblocks and major scheduling challenges, my “3 Ways to Kick Condemnation to the Curb” is not quite finalized. But no worries!! I’d LOVE to SEND it to YOU via EMAIL today this week. Just ENTER your EMAIL below!
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I am struggling so much right now. When I read this post, I recognized that voice of condemnation so readily. It tells me constantly,
“You’re so lazy.”
“You do not contribute ANYTHING to your family.”
“You hurt people constantly because you are selfish.”
And on, & on, & on. I was struggling with my faith, & doubting what I knew of God & my relationship with Him. I joined a friend at her church which was a different faith than my own. The Holy Spirit would not quit pricking at my heart. Even as I tried my hardest to completely immerse myself in the things I was hearing at this church, my heart was crying out, “NO! That is NOT what God’s Word says!!!” Eventually, I got into my Bible and I stayed there until God’s truth were plain & evident to me. I had to tell my husband that I was wrong, I had to explain to my children why we were going back to our old church, and most difficult of all, I had to try to explain to my friend (who had become more of a sister by this point) why I could no longer attend church and worship with her. There were a lot of hurt feelings, disappointment, tears, and even accusations of cowardice … and in the end, our friendship has been severely (if not irreparably) damaged.
I find myself floundering now … I am not listening to untruths, but my joy is gone. I feel as though I am a hypocrite, & a liar. I need your prayers so desperately, Renee. I have wasted too long not being the woman God created me to be. I just don’t know what the next step is from here.
Sincerely,
Jessica
Jessica,
Praying for you right now!! Please remember God’s mercy is new every day! Satan will stop at nothing to keep us discouraged, and distracted. There is a couple verses that I wanted to share with you that may help you….2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
When Satan tries to get me to believe his lies, by attacking my mind. I have to use this verse to fight him. Also, Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…..Satan is lying to you, by trying to make you believe you have lost your joy….as a child of God, you have access to JOY at all times, through the fruit of His Spirit.
And the last one is Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Please don’t allow Satan to distract you or discourage you. I pray that God will mold you into the woman he created you to be, most of the times, he uses the trials of life to do that : )
P.S. If you can, google the lyrics to Matthew West Song / Hello My Name Is….it’s truly awesome and so fitting for your situation!
Lots of Love,
Chasidy
I just got done reading “A Confident Heart”! I need to reread some ~ how it touched my heart! I really needed this! My self-confidence stinks!! 🙁 I would love to read the devotional! Thank you!
I have had asked for forgiveness for past sins. I know I have been forgiven, but I still struggle with it at times when things come up that remind me of what I had done. I think Satan still triggers that to make me think I am not worthy of God’s forgiveness for what I had done in the past.
I also struggle at work (daily!) with co-workers and the conversations that are spoken all around me. They are very negative and gossipy (if that’s a word??). I ask God everyday to help me only say things to lift others up, but there are many days that I fail Him with that. It is so easy to get caught up in these conversations and go along with what is being said by others and putting my 2cents in! So any help I can get with condemnation and conviction, bring it on!
It’s crazy all the things the devil can try to convince me of… I recently quit my career working for a great company to be at home with our four children. I try daily to rid my thoughts of “horrible mom” and “wrong decisions”. Deep in my heart I know this is where God wants me but some days it’s hard to listen to that small voice calling from somewhere among the shouts of negativity! Thanks for this post, I’m excited to read the email. I know we all need this at some point and for some reason or other.
I was so touched by your devotional today. I would love a chance to read your book. I am so bad about this. I heard a talk by Joyce Meyer last week talking about how some people see “correction” as “rejection”; that is SO me!
Your comments about conviction reminded me of the chorus “It’s your kindness O Lord that leads us to repentance….” I lost my job recently, and it has been difficult to get out of bed some days because of the condemnation and anger with myself and others. I want to trust and #kc2tc.
I first want to thank you for your ministries, they have gotten me through many situations. I am on an journey to become the best I can in Christ, and have many steps to go. I am in a marriage that I am not sure will last, I want so much to be the wife that God meant me to be but it seems Satan has other plans at times. I have been fighting Satan for 28 years in this marriage, of course only about 10 of those have I really had Christ as the center. Satan however speaks through my husband to me, to knock me down and make me feel like a terrible wife, person, friend and woman. I didn’t realize this until today reading Convicted but not Condemned. I suddenly realized that all of those hurtful terrible things that were spat at me last night in yet another terrible argument that might possibly lead to divorce, was Satan. I immediately got in the Word last night and realized that what my husband wants is respect and what I need is love. I apologized for what I said and for not respecting him. I went to bed in a different room than my husband last night and for now this is how it will be. I need to be in the Word each and every day morning and night to get through this season.
I am asking for prayers for my marriage, I love this man with my very soul but we both deserve to have happiness, please pray that we can give each other what God wants us to. Thank you again for the encouragement and strength your ministries give me.
PS. My baby boy is going to be a husband in less than 20 days, please pray for them as they start this journey together.
Thanks for such a timely intervention and for opening my heart to this message and understanding the
Difference between condemnation and conviction
Knowing that God/Holy spirit will give us the solution is so true and real in my experiences.
God bless you richly
I suffer from depression like so many women have shared. In 2008, I discovered that my husband had slipped back into an addiction, and it sent me into a tailspin. He is much better now, but I cannot seem to snap out of it. All I want to do is isolate.
I am trying to focus on the renewal of my mind and to try to choose joy, but it is such struggle to see the joy in things when I am hurting. I have heard that depression is anger focused inward, but I am not angry at me. I am angry at him…hmmmm. It’s a dilemma. I need some help!
I often hear satans thoughts instead of Gods when I have failed. I would love to learn how to hear Gods conviction instead of condemnation. Thanks for sharing
I would really appreciate this right now. I’m struggling with God’s path for me and I feel like such a failure. I’ve sunk into a deep depression and am having a hard time pulling myself out of it. If you would consider me I would really appreciate it.
I feel sometimes that God will not keep on forgiving me when I repeat the same sin eg: not praying everyday or studying the word everyday or being self centered and caring about my needs instead of being more involed in the church. I know the word says a just man falls seven times and quickly rises up again, and that helps me to continue to try to do better each time I fail to do what is right. I just hate that my flesh sometimes wins and then I feel terrible. I want to kC2TC. I don’t know if you touch on this in your devotionals, but if not maybe you could add it somewhere down the road. Today is my first day reading your devotion. My daughter shared it with me this morning. I loved it.
Thank you for sharing this today. I often struggle & wrestle with comdemnation of myself for past sins that I committed. I’m trying to learn that Jesus has already forgiven me & I should do the same. I myself have been going through some rough times and because I’m so overwhelmed, I may take it out of my kids by saying things to them in the wrong tone. Comdemning them for things that they did, instead of learning how to re-word it so that it may convict their hearts to make them understand and think on what they did. Thank you dearly for your post!
I’d also like to share a quote from a friend that was given to me yesterday. It truely blessed me “God did not allow all of your hardships to destroy you…this rough place will develop you and your best is yet to come! -God loves you!”
Thanks Renee for this post. I have been struggling to lose the last 50 pounds of weight, I’ve already lost 50 and have done so good, in the last three months I came to a sudden halt, and nothing is happening and I’m starting to feel discouraged. I’m still doing what I have to do to lose, but it’s getting to the point where I want to stop ( I haven’t but I think about I)…… I start to think how bad I am for doubting and wanting to stop. I guess that’s satan trying to help me fail (guess this would be condemnation?) and then I feel conviction, cause I know I can do all things through Christ Jesus. I have submitted my doubts and discourgement to God and have asked Him to help me along this journey. I will continue to pray, and know that I will be victorious in Jesus…
Thanks again…
It would be such a blessing to have a copy of your devotional…
Blessings
Anna
So many of us struggle with self-condemning thoughts. The definitions of condemnation and conviction were very helpful. I plan to share them with other women who deal with this issue. Thanks for sharing. This devotion is meeting a great need.
Renee, I have struggled with self doubt for most of my life. But especially so after becoming a Mom 7 years ago. I read your book A Confident Heart about a year ago and was so encouraged. I had some great breakthroughs. God was doing some amazing things in my life. But recently several circumstances has brought setbacks. I had already been thinking I needed some refreshing from your book and looking into getting your devotional book before your devotion on P31 today. Thank you for your encouraging words!
This so very often happens to me, quick to get upset and then tear myself down because of my outburst. I need this book to help m focus on the Holy Spirit and turn the negative thoughts I have into positive focus on what God has in store for me. Thank God for your inspiring ministry.
I want to kick condemnation not only ‘to the curb’, but into the next county! The evil one loves to use all the lies he can conjure up to keep us down and non-victorious. We need to remember – they are only LIES! I need to identify the ‘lies’ quicker each time I hear them, and to replace them with the Word of God – the real Truth!
Thanks Renee!
I have been praying for discernment between God’s word and Satan’s word. Thank you for your post and helping me to begin to understand the difference.
I am such a perfectionist, that when anything goes astray from how I feel it should go, I get a little (sometimes a lot) frustrated. And when that happens sometimes I say and do things that aren’t in my “normal” character. My kids or husband at that time will look at me like I have three eyes! I admit that I can say some pretty hurtful things when I get mad. My problem is that I let things build up and then I explode! And of course I feel super guilty. So learning the difference between God’s conviction and Satan’s condemnation is so enlightening! Knowing we have such a loving, patient God is so awesome!