I’m sitting on the other side of “my world” this morning, looking out the window at the Pacific ocean. Leah and I spent yesterday in two planes and three airports, traveling across the country to speak this weekend in Southern California.
I LOVE the women who planned this event and I can’t wait to see what God has planned. We leave in a couple hours to drive to a retreat site in the mountains.
I am so honored and thankful to be here! Especially now that I am here – safely.
I had to smile this morning as I thought about yesterday. Me clenching the armrests of my seat bouncing through extreme turbulence, reminding God why I was on a plane. How years ago I finally said yes to His calling to speak and teach His Word that He’s engraved on my heart.
I wanted to make sure He remembered that I hate to fly and that the bouncing and jerking and announcement from the pilot for all flight crew and passengers to immediately fasten their seat belts was not helping!!
I felt inclined to remind Him of my obedience. My stepping out in faith because I love Him.
“Remember that deal we made God? Or maybe I made. That I’d trust You and do something really scary – like travel and speak – and that You’d protect me. Because I really do love You. And you know I really do love my family, too, and being a mom and a wife and uh, many other things.”
Then I started reminding myself – my heart, mind and soul – why I do what I do.
Because I can’t not do it.
Not anymore. I can’t not walk in faith. I can’t live in fear. I’ve been there and it kept me from saying yes to God’s call on my life to speak – for 10 years.
I have to live in faith. I have to walk in freedom now that I know I can.
Jesus sacrificed His life so that I could. He gave so much more than I can comprehend. Nothing I give or sacrifice compares.
And the truth is, God’s most powerful work in my life, in my healing and growth in my relationship with Christ has come as I have stepped out in faith, believing and trusting Him – and taking risks to do so.
Living by faith….being sure of what I hope for and certain of what I cannot see.
Certain of my Saviour who goes before me and stands beside me. Who is familiar with all my ways. Who has a plan for my life – however many days that is.
This morning I was reading the story of the sinful woman in Luke 7:36-50, who took huge steps of faith when she walked up to Jesus in a room full of Pharisees and anointed His feet with tears and perfume. She wasn’t afraid of what it would cost her, although it was a big risk and a huge sacrifice.
Why? Because she was sure of what she hoped for, certain of what she could not see. Yet with each step of faith – she did see – grace, mercy, freedom and forgiveness.
She gave all that she had emotionally, spiritually and physically. But it wasn’t her sacrifice that saved her. It was her faith.
Faith alone. No bargaining or reminding needed.
Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” v. 50
Today as I pray and prepare to go speak, I once again put my trust in the One who knows me. The One who loves me. The One who has called me, and the One who sometimes allows this adventure of faith to get a little wild along the way!
In peace,
I “can’t” is my biggest defeat now.
For so long I have not had a relationship with God. February, that changed, but there are still things that I have to overcome.
I can’t…It is easier to say that, than to step out in faith because this is still so new to me.
I want to do things different in many areas of my life. I want to be a different person but because stepping out of the box is so hard…I usually say, I can’t. I know it is Satan telling me that and for too long I have let him continue to repeat those words to me…You can’t do that, it will hurt too much or it is too hard and you can’t do it.
I know I have to overcome my fears, I know I have to start saying I can so that He Can!!
I have to share with you how and why this so spoke to me this morning! I too had a flight that sounds very similar to that on my first every flight journey to Taiwan in September to pick up or adopted baby boy Noah! I was petrefied to fly before I ever got on the planes and had never flown. After the experience I am still scared. We just commited to adopting a baby boy with severe cerebral palsy in the same orphanage in Taiwan so again I know I must trust God and get on 6 more planes total to go and get him when the time comes. BUT My fear does not end with the plane in this. We have to fundraise and raise about $20,000 at least in order to complete this adoption and make the trip to go and pick up our Jeremiah! I have fear of HOW are we gonna do that, now I SAW God show off, I SAW God move to make it all happen for Noah. We fundraised almost every penny of Noah and GOD bridged the ocean. But I have been lookin with eyes of flesh not faith at what I can see. We wont have the options we did for over $11,000 of the money from last time because of the economy and things of that nature some of the grants and loans are not available now. But I have not to fear, God knows that! And though I KNOW Jeremiah is our son, and I don’t care what his “special needs” may be or what he may or may not ever do the sevever cerebral Palsy scares me just a bit, not because I dont think I can love him, not even cuz I dont think I can take care of him, because I know I will. But because I guess I worry about the emotions of it all, I worry about being good enough for what he deserves and making sure everyone has their needs met. FEAR FEAR. God brought me out of a bondage of a different kind of fear years ago and with your message this morning I see that I have allowed the enemy a foothold of fear in my life in these other areas. I know this was long but I felt led to share it all with you and THANK YOU for being open and honest about your fear experience 🙂
Blessings,
Tami
PRAYING JEREMIAH HOME QUICKLY
http://www.tillGodbringsthemhome.blogspot.com
Great words Renee! I feel like I’ve been in a similar place, but like you say He’s given me freedom from the fear and growth really does come when we step out. I think there’s some growing going on. I pray God blesses your time there – I’m sure He’ll speak to you as He speaks through you.
Prayers, Jill
I so love reading your blogs. you amaze me the way you can take your fear of flying, and the bumpy plane ride and bring scripture to life. I wish I could hear you speak. Hopefully one day I will. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I hop you will be blessed this weekend and I hope you have a safe and smooth ride home!!!
Thanks for sharing your fear of flying. Reminded me of my trip down to NC last summer…especially my horrendous ride home! YIKES!!! Had to keep our seatbelts on for all but 10 minutes of our flight. It was drop, shake, rattle and roll!!!!
I’m still amazed that the teenage girl across the aisle slept through the entire flight. Now THERE was a picture of peace.
Praying for you this weekend and always,
Hugs,
Joy
I love this post…so open, so transparent, so real. Thank you for sharing and for taking the leap of faith…over and over again. It’s exactly what I needed to read tonight. Blessings!
You make me smile. 🙂 I loved reading about you reminding God…and then reminding yourself. 🙂
I am so glad you made it there safely! And I am so glad you are living a life of obedience to God. I KNOW those women are going to be so blessed by all that He has you share this weekend…and so blessed by your sweet and humble heart!!!
Praying that He prepares each of their hearts and that He has some special refreshment in store for you, too!
Love and prayers,
K
Prayers,
Diane
Well said! I wish I could hear you speak, but just know that you’re in my prayers and I know you will be a blessing wherever you go. Thank you for sharing your heart, as always!
-Michelle