Can we have an honest conversation about guilt? Everywhere I go, women are wrestling with feeling guilty all.the.time. And I understand. It’s something I struggle with, too.
If you are familiar with the heavy weight of guilt, pull up a chair and lean in. I’ve invited my friend Ginger Hubbard to share with us some powerful truths she’s learning to hold onto – truths that point her back to God’s grace again again again. Truths she writes about in her book, “Guiltless Living.”
For so long in my life, I struggled with trying to be a good Christian.
Inevitably, I would blow it on a daily basis then proceed to beat myself up spiritually and emotionally.
In setting my standards high for being what I perceived the perfect wife and mom, I chose the woman described in Proverbs 31 as my role model. On one particular morning, I remember reading about her and making unfavorable comparisons.
She got up before it was still dark. I had rolled out of bed around 8:30 am.
She was well dressed in fine linen and purple. I was in a baggy, terrycloth robe with my hair pulled up in an orange chip clip.
She held the distaff while grasping the spindle with her fingers (not sure what those things are, but I am certain they contributed to her noble character). I held the dust buster to the crumbs on my bed sheets while grasping the empty bag of Doritos.
She provided good food for her family and was always on top of things. I offered a choice of Burger King or McDonalds and felt the weight of my unaccomplished to-do list crashing down on me.
In comparison, I did not measure up. I felt anxious, defeated and disappointed in myself.
I wanted to be the wife who was always cheerful, never irritable, and only said words that edified, encouraged and built up. I wanted to be the mom who never lost it and only spoke with kindness, wisdom and faithful instruction. But, as hard as I tried, I always wound up blowing it in some way.
I just could not achieve the “good Christian” status I desired.
Through prayer and studying God’s Word, I began to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I would never achieve being the perfect Christian. I learned that the battle of victorious Christian living could not be won by sheer willpower or by teeth-gritting determination, but by tucking myself underneath the full armor of God and trusting that God is not only fighting for me, but He has already won the battle.
In measuring our self-worth in accordance with our own performances, we not only become anxious, but we miss out on experiencing the peace and rest of who we truly are in Christ.
Our worth is not based on what we do or do not do. It is not based on our successes and failures. It is not even based on whether we sin a little or sin a lot.
Our worth is based solely on Christ and the atoning work He has done on our behalf. We are His children, purchased at a price, forgiven and fully redeemed.
Embracing this wonderful truth brings about freedom. It is the freedom to forget about ourselves and lay down our measuring rods of self-worth and ongoing scrutiny. It is the freedom to release the suffocating anxiety our weaknesses cause, and instead take hold of God’s grace given to us through the cross.
Join me today in letting go of performance-based worth and self-imposed expectations. May we purpose to rest in the victory Christ has already won and truly experience the rich and satisfying joy of guiltless living!
ENTER TO WIN {book giveaway}
Because Ginger has struggled so much with the issue of performance-based self-worth, she has a deep compassion for other struggling women. Se can relate and understand the mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion that comes from this way of living. If you are one of these women, Ginger’s deep desire that you will lay down your measuring rod of self-worth and stop beating yourself up so you can take hold of God’s grace and embrace guiltless living! Today, Ginger is giving away 3 copies of her new book, Guiltless Living!
Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post to leave a comment and ENTER TO WIN.
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How wonderful it is to know that I do not need to compare myself with others. My Savior rescued me from condemnation that always arises when my false expectations are not met. I love Jesus’ expectation of me, to Love the Father with all my heart and all my soul. Because of Jesus I am reconciled with the Father. A gift that no person could ever give me and its a gift that I cannot give to myself. It was freely given I need only to accept it.
That was such a good story. Enjoyed it a lot.
Amen & Amen! Thank- you Renee & to all who replied, God Bless.
What A Friend We Have In Jesus..
I could have written those exact same words myself! And I am SO tired, and so unfulfilled in my Christian life, and life in general.. Carrying around this heavy burden of guilt is so hard, and I would love to win this book
As I was feeling the weight of all the self-inflicted pressure I continually pile on in the name of performing perfectly as mom, wife, professional, friend, daughter on my way home from work yesterday, the Lord peeled back my blinders and showed me that He has got me covered. I just need to be. Just need to try to keep remembering that though! Thank You Lord for your Love!!!
I was just feeling this way tonight, looking at all my mistakes and feeling such a sense of failure. God knew I needed to read this and realize I was not alone.
I feel like you’ve been reading my heart. Thanks for the chance to win the book. Sounds like it’s just what the doctor (Lord) ordered.
Sometimes the expectations from family are what make it so difficult to live Guiltless. Thanks for the blog, it has really motivated me, I would be so grateful to receive the book. God bless you.
There are days that I definitely feel like I don’t measure up, then there are days when I feel sore from beating myself with the measuring stick! I feel like I never will measure up to the Proverbs 31 definition of a Godly woman, but I don’t fit the mold of a “Good Wife” or a “Good Mother” that everyone else has laid out there.
But amidst all my complaints and worries and frustrations, there are those that I DON’T hear complaining: my husband and my children. And with lots of prayer, I feel a peace that says God knows I’m trying and He’s not complaining either. Talk about undeserved grace! The stress is still there, but God is showing me that most of my stress are from my own demands, not the demands of those around me. Thankful for my walk with Him in my crazy – and most days hypercritical – life!
I am struggling with areas of my life and have felt that my worth is in those areas. I have come to realize through growing closer to God and trusting Him everyday for my life that my worth is in Him! I’ve always felt that I have to do everything and measure up to others, but that is not what God wants me to do. He wants me to be the best me that He has created me to be and let Him guide me through everything that I do, say or am.
Do I still feel guilty at times? Yes, when I fail God and others, which happens sometime every day. Satan uses guilt as one of his tactics, but Jesus died for our guilt. We just have to confess to God and ask forgiveness and God’s grace will cover us through the blood of Jesus. I think we all struggle with guilt many times in our lives, we just have to keep our eyes on Jesus and allow Him to guide us. Amen! What an awesome God we have!
Thank you for this message. These are truths we all need to be reminded of regularly. My oldest left for college in August and a void ow exists in our home. I am desperately trying to keep things business as usual in her absence but fall short. I am very busy at work and missing my child. I suffer daily with not measuring up. Thank you for this.
Thanks so much for the message that my worth is not in what I look like or what I do, but in God alone. I am facing early retirement due to financial reconstruction of the company I work for, and I am now struggling with the old questions “Who am I?” “What good am I, now that I am not working?” Identity crisis at age 60!! But God is faithful, and He sends frequent reminders that my value and worth are in Him alone. Thanks for being one of those reminders!
Encouraging truth!
It can be so hard to let go of guilt but through the power of God’s grace and love, it is possible!
wonderful–thank you Barb
I feel beaten down by too many persons around me in life and I really feel poorly about myself when treated like that so often. At the same time guilt if i stay back from these people.
I thought it was just me ! Trying harder doesn’t work. Love to read your book.
I really need to hear this message and claim it for myself.
Thank you for a timely perspective. So many of us trying to measure up.
I think our world has become very performance-driven, but underneath it all perhaps we just really need to see God’s Word in a tangible, applied sense. We need what is real, true, and lovely. I needed to read this today. Thank you.
Thank you Renee & Ginger. I was reading my own story. I’ve been working through Celebrate Recovery to deal with it & am always looking for ways to stay focused on who Jesus says I am. I will definately be looking for this title. Thanks again.