Can we have an honest conversation about guilt? Everywhere I go, women are wrestling with feeling guilty all.the.time. And I understand. It’s something I struggle with, too.
If you are familiar with the heavy weight of guilt, pull up a chair and lean in. I’ve invited my friend Ginger Hubbard to share with us some powerful truths she’s learning to hold onto – truths that point her back to God’s grace again again again. Truths she writes about in her book, “Guiltless Living.”
For so long in my life, I struggled with trying to be a good Christian.
Inevitably, I would blow it on a daily basis then proceed to beat myself up spiritually and emotionally.
In setting my standards high for being what I perceived the perfect wife and mom, I chose the woman described in Proverbs 31 as my role model. On one particular morning, I remember reading about her and making unfavorable comparisons.
She got up before it was still dark. I had rolled out of bed around 8:30 am.
She was well dressed in fine linen and purple. I was in a baggy, terrycloth robe with my hair pulled up in an orange chip clip.
She held the distaff while grasping the spindle with her fingers (not sure what those things are, but I am certain they contributed to her noble character). I held the dust buster to the crumbs on my bed sheets while grasping the empty bag of Doritos.
She provided good food for her family and was always on top of things. I offered a choice of Burger King or McDonalds and felt the weight of my unaccomplished to-do list crashing down on me.
In comparison, I did not measure up. I felt anxious, defeated and disappointed in myself.
I wanted to be the wife who was always cheerful, never irritable, and only said words that edified, encouraged and built up. I wanted to be the mom who never lost it and only spoke with kindness, wisdom and faithful instruction. But, as hard as I tried, I always wound up blowing it in some way.
I just could not achieve the “good Christian” status I desired.
Through prayer and studying God’s Word, I began to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I would never achieve being the perfect Christian. I learned that the battle of victorious Christian living could not be won by sheer willpower or by teeth-gritting determination, but by tucking myself underneath the full armor of God and trusting that God is not only fighting for me, but He has already won the battle.
In measuring our self-worth in accordance with our own performances, we not only become anxious, but we miss out on experiencing the peace and rest of who we truly are in Christ.
Our worth is not based on what we do or do not do. It is not based on our successes and failures. It is not even based on whether we sin a little or sin a lot.
Our worth is based solely on Christ and the atoning work He has done on our behalf. We are His children, purchased at a price, forgiven and fully redeemed.
Embracing this wonderful truth brings about freedom. It is the freedom to forget about ourselves and lay down our measuring rods of self-worth and ongoing scrutiny. It is the freedom to release the suffocating anxiety our weaknesses cause, and instead take hold of God’s grace given to us through the cross.
Join me today in letting go of performance-based worth and self-imposed expectations. May we purpose to rest in the victory Christ has already won and truly experience the rich and satisfying joy of guiltless living!
ENTER TO WIN {book giveaway}
Because Ginger has struggled so much with the issue of performance-based self-worth, she has a deep compassion for other struggling women. Se can relate and understand the mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion that comes from this way of living. If you are one of these women, Ginger’s deep desire that you will lay down your measuring rod of self-worth and stop beating yourself up so you can take hold of God’s grace and embrace guiltless living! Today, Ginger is giving away 3 copies of her new book, Guiltless Living!
Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post to leave a comment and ENTER TO WIN.
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We all feel guilt at some point or another, but we need to realize, we’re not perfect. That Perfection is held by only One, Him. Would love to read the book!
As a recovering perfectionist, the message in this book sounds like just the right thing to refer to regularly to help stay on the freedom path!
Thank you so much, Renee and Ginger. I really needed to hear this today. I need to hand in my “measuring stick” to Jesus. I so easily load myself with guilt, the unrealistic kind…
It sounds like this book could help a lot of people! I especially like the humor thrown in there!
Thanks for the devotional. So many of us worry about our worth. I can just imagine Our Father is shaking His head and thinking if only my children will look up to Me and know how precious and valuable they are.
Very timely.
Much needed message, thank you!
My children always tell me I am to hard on myself, and I should STOP taking the guilt trips that I put myself onto.
Thank you.
Jesus has taken all GUILT AWAY by His Shedding of his Blood, oh his Precious Blood!
Genuinely, reading this was a much needed, HUGE, warm hug from God this morning! I’ve been battling ‘old’ negative thought patterns & hence ‘feeling’s of inadequacy, overwhelming discouragment & self rejection lately…again….. I really believed I had shed this ugly former acquaintance, many years ago…I was mistaken…It has found my address, knocked on my door, relentlessly pursued me – like a telemarketer or junk mail…:( and finally, caught up with me, proceeding MANY a bad day…and I have swallowed the coolaid!:( My thoughts, attitudes and self talk, have been poisoned with the ‘tyrannical expectations’ of others and more importantly my own inept ‘ruler’ of the ‘god of self’….my measurements have been all off! I don’t measure up! ‘They’ don’t measure up! NOone is measuring up!! The plum line is crooked, warped, ridiculously – ‘un-true’…My inner self came tumbling DOWN! The ‘good works’ – the ‘try harder’s’ – the ‘haven’t I done enough’s?!! – to the ‘that’s it, I quit!! – ‘I can’t do this anymore’ – ‘I give up’s’….’my’ self erected ‘proving’ – of ‘my’ worth’…. finally, came crumbling down around ‘me’, leaving me in the wake of despair and ruin….It could not stand on ‘this’ foundation, erected on such an ‘un-stable’, un-safe, un-worthy frame……’my-self’….and me and my ego-me and ‘my’ self made kindgdom…me and my bloodied, limp, ruined….’self-worth’… their walls came tumbling…..like domino’s ….crashing down….on ‘me’!!! As I sat, lifeless….drinking my coffee, like a zombie, trying to awake from this self inflicted disaster within….mythodically, I opened my email, mindlessly attempting to distract my inner self….and my eyes were drawn to … ‘Renee Swoope’ – ‘You were made for…’ That’s all I saw…that’s all I needed to see! To see hope! To see help! To ‘see’!!:) As I began reading the post and the excerpts from Ginger Hubbard’s book – ‘You were made for GUILTLESS living’!!:) The -trying, the comparison’s, the crooked measuring stick, the hopelessness of it all…..they all led Ginger – as they have me – right were I always belonged in the FIRST place!…They and Ginger’s relatable reminder’s…..’they’ ALL led ‘me’…..TO THE CROSS!!!:) TO THE FEET OF JESUS!!!:) TO RESCUE!!:) TO HOPE!!!:) and then I looked over and saw one of my (many:) favorite verses Renee had posted….’May The God of HOPE, fill you with all Joy and Peace – as you Trust In HIM….so that, (I)-‘may’ , overflow with HOPE, by The Power of The HOLY Spirit…” Ro. 15:13 Thank you Renee, and Ginger, for your ministries – your words – your reminders – your ‘lamps that have lightened ‘my’ darkness’….your support and your encouragements to ‘me’ – today – ‘this’ day….that The Lord knew..:) that ‘I’ would desperately need them, and you, and Him!!! Thank you sweet sisters, for leading me back to where I always belonged….JESUS!!!:) The Sweetest of All….the Lover of ‘my’ soul!:)
stand on ‘this’ foundation, erected on such an ‘un-stable’, un-safe, un-worthy frame……’my-self’….and me and my ego-me and ‘my’ self made kindgdom…me and my bloodied, limp, ruined….’self-worth’… their walls came tumbling…..like domino’s ….crashing down….on ‘me’!!! As I sat, lifeless….drinking my coffee, like a zombie, trying to awake from this self inflicted disaster within….mythodically, I opened my email, mindlessly attempting to distract my inner self….and my eyes were drawn to … ‘Renee Swoope’ – ‘You were made for…’ That’s all I saw…that’s all I needed to see! To see hope! To see help! To ‘see’!!:) As I began reading the post and the excerpts from Ginger Hubbard’s book – ‘You were made for GUILTLESS living’!!:) The -trying, the comparison’s, the crooked measuring stick, the hopelessness of it all…..they all led Ginger – as they have me – right were I always belonged in the FIRST place!…They and Ginger’s relatable reminder’s…..’they’ ALL led ‘me’…..TO THE CROSS!!!:) TO THE FEET OF JESUS!!!:) TO RESCUE!!:) TO HOPE!!!:) and then I looked over and saw one of my (many:) favorite verses Renee had posted….’May The God of HOPE, fill you with all Joy and Peace – as you Trust In HIM….so that, (I)-‘may’ , overflow with HOPE, by The Power of The HOLY Spirit…” Ro. 15:13 Thank you Renee, and Ginger, for your ministries – your words – your reminders – your ‘lamps that have lightened ‘my’ darkness’….your support and your encouragements to ‘me’ – today – ‘this’ day….that The Lord knew..:) that ‘I’ would desperately need them, and you, and Him!!! Thank you sweet sisters, for leading me back to where I always belonged….JESUS!!!:) The Sweetest of All…The Lover of ”my’ soul!!:)
Self worth! Man the struggle is real. All my life trying to measure up to standards I set, as well as others. I’m growing in the knowledge that He is my worth. He is my sufficiency and where He resides, there is no lack!
I struggle with that everyday. Would love to win a copy. Thank you for sharing.
I have been really struggling with this the past few days, this came to me at such a good time. I am going to read this book! Thank you
I was in high school when the fear surfaced. What if God doesn’t have marriage in His plan for me? I don’t know why or where that came from. I have a beautiful picture of marriage modeled for me in so many ways, but I was scared it wouldn’t be that way for me. I made many choices out of fear and today at 38 I still, more than ever want to be married and have a family. I could in a second tell someone else of God’s grace and love and incredible plan, but my struggle now more than ever is feeling forgotten and unloved. Did my choices cause this? I know they didn’t but it is so hard to understand. God created marriage and family, and it is so beautiful. I still have hope but it is a daily choice.
Wow! I am an old maid, childless and I share in the self-inflicted guilt. Thank you for reminding me of my Lord’s forgiveness. He wants me to do my best, but He doesn’t expect perfection. We are blessed!
Oh the weight of that guilt!!! How wonderful to let it lift and put it in God’s hands. Thank you!
Wow does this hit home. I am so much better about guilt than I used to be, but to say I’ve overcome it would be far from truth. I feel like I am always letting someone down. Not to mention God! Sometimes I feel like he saved me not because he loves me, but because he feels obligated or sorry for me. See I still have a quite a ways to go!
Thanks for the encouragement! I can’t wait to read this book!
I needed this…I have struggled for years as a people pleaser, trying to do/be enough. I’m trying to let the feelings of guilt go… I can’t do it all! I would love to have this book.
Is this struggle more pronounced in the Christian community, I wonder? Do our non-Christian friends struggle with this heavy burden. Thanks for starting the conversation!
I’m convicted today, especially, to make a special effort to lighten the load of expectation I put on my sisters in Christ.