Can we have an honest conversation about guilt? Everywhere I go, women are wrestling with feeling guilty all.the.time. And I understand. It’s something I struggle with, too.
If you are familiar with the heavy weight of guilt, pull up a chair and lean in. I’ve invited my friend Ginger Hubbard to share with us some powerful truths she’s learning to hold onto – truths that point her back to God’s grace again again again. Truths she writes about in her book, “Guiltless Living.”
For so long in my life, I struggled with trying to be a good Christian.
Inevitably, I would blow it on a daily basis then proceed to beat myself up spiritually and emotionally.
In setting my standards high for being what I perceived the perfect wife and mom, I chose the woman described in Proverbs 31 as my role model. On one particular morning, I remember reading about her and making unfavorable comparisons.
She got up before it was still dark. I had rolled out of bed around 8:30 am.
She was well dressed in fine linen and purple. I was in a baggy, terrycloth robe with my hair pulled up in an orange chip clip.
She held the distaff while grasping the spindle with her fingers (not sure what those things are, but I am certain they contributed to her noble character). I held the dust buster to the crumbs on my bed sheets while grasping the empty bag of Doritos.
She provided good food for her family and was always on top of things. I offered a choice of Burger King or McDonalds and felt the weight of my unaccomplished to-do list crashing down on me.
In comparison, I did not measure up. I felt anxious, defeated and disappointed in myself.
I wanted to be the wife who was always cheerful, never irritable, and only said words that edified, encouraged and built up. I wanted to be the mom who never lost it and only spoke with kindness, wisdom and faithful instruction. But, as hard as I tried, I always wound up blowing it in some way.
I just could not achieve the “good Christian” status I desired.
Through prayer and studying God’s Word, I began to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I would never achieve being the perfect Christian. I learned that the battle of victorious Christian living could not be won by sheer willpower or by teeth-gritting determination, but by tucking myself underneath the full armor of God and trusting that God is not only fighting for me, but He has already won the battle.
In measuring our self-worth in accordance with our own performances, we not only become anxious, but we miss out on experiencing the peace and rest of who we truly are in Christ.
Our worth is not based on what we do or do not do. It is not based on our successes and failures. It is not even based on whether we sin a little or sin a lot.
Our worth is based solely on Christ and the atoning work He has done on our behalf. We are His children, purchased at a price, forgiven and fully redeemed.
Embracing this wonderful truth brings about freedom. It is the freedom to forget about ourselves and lay down our measuring rods of self-worth and ongoing scrutiny. It is the freedom to release the suffocating anxiety our weaknesses cause, and instead take hold of God’s grace given to us through the cross.
Join me today in letting go of performance-based worth and self-imposed expectations. May we purpose to rest in the victory Christ has already won and truly experience the rich and satisfying joy of guiltless living!
ENTER TO WIN {book giveaway}
Because Ginger has struggled so much with the issue of performance-based self-worth, she has a deep compassion for other struggling women. Se can relate and understand the mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion that comes from this way of living. If you are one of these women, Ginger’s deep desire that you will lay down your measuring rod of self-worth and stop beating yourself up so you can take hold of God’s grace and embrace guiltless living! Today, Ginger is giving away 3 copies of her new book, Guiltless Living!
Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post to leave a comment and ENTER TO WIN.
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Thank you for the encouraging words. Ready to take off my chains of guilt from “not measuring up” especially to the Proverbs 31 woman. I am ready to be the best “me” that God created ready to use the gifts he gave me to bless others.
Thank you for sharing this devotion. I often feel like such a failure compared to the women described in Proverbs 31
This books sounds so awesome!
I was married to a man who didn’t know the Lord and vowed he would never know the Lord. Well he was true to his word he left and a year later we were divorced in July 3rd 2003. Ten years later on May the 17th in 2013 I married a wonderful man who knows and loves the Lord with all his heart. I began to realize that I didn’t how to be his wife?? I know this kinda fits the Give God Your Can’t but I struggle everyday with not only being a ” good christian” but also with being a ” good christian wife” I joined Proverbs 31’s small bible study group for The Best Yes and am now awaiting Before Amen!!!! You all are awesome I’m learning so much through this ministry and I know God lead me to find you! Thank you for all you have done and all you will do for women like me who struggle with doubt, regret and sometimes even shame you are truly a blessing!
I am an author, and I, too, focus a lot of my writing on the guilt-shame freedom that we have (but often leave on a shelf at home) in Christ. I’m glad you have your book out there to help us all remember that we are set free to serve Him, not bound by self-condemning paralysis! I’d love to read your whole book!
Spot on! I struggle daily with guilt. I don’t believe the guilt is from my father in heaven. I know that satan is out there to destroy. My oh my, I have been through the ringer a time or two. My marriage struggled a few years back. We got through it through by miracles provided by our Father in Heaven! To this day, those struggles from the past sneak up on me and try to take me down by making me feel like I am inadequate for my husband, that he could have a better looking wife or a wife who wants to please him 24/7. Or a better mother for our girls. Life is work, marriage and parenting is work and we do make mistakes. Guilt can and will destroy us if we allow it to.
Thank you for your post! I look forward to reading your book down the road! Sounds like it would go well with Renee’s book, “A Confident Heart”. Which in itself is an amazing book!
Leah
I struggle with performance-based self worth but know God’s truth. As a mom I can identify with trying to be the perfect wife, mother, friend, and then feel guilty when I fall short. It’s a daily dying to self and focusing on what God’s word says and not the lies Satan wants me to listen to. I unfortunately passed my perfectionism and performance issues on to our son. I have confessed this to God and my son and I work on it together with God’s help. Seeing your mistakes lived out in your children can be painful, but I cling to God’s word that He is changing me and it is through His strength not mine. I’m thankful our son is learning God’s truths at a younger age than I did.
Great post.
I forget who I am in Christ, a forgiven and very much love sinner, and feel I must hid behind some sort of facade