My friend Kathi Lipp has written a book every mom needs to read. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s my friend. I’m saying that because {you} are! Maybe we’ve never met but, because our hearts and lives are connected through my blog or Facebook page, I see you as a friend God’s brought into my life to encourage. A friend to pray for. A friend to offer hope to and remind you of God’s truth for you.
Kathi’s book is unique and the timing of it is perfect! Over the past few months, I’ve heard from countless moms who feel guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom. They are discouraged and depleted. And I’ve been there.
One of my favorite chapters in Kathi’s book is chapter 2, Don’t Hang Out in the Motherhood Alone. Now that will preach! Gosh we need to know we’re not alone, and that our kids aren’t the only kids who struggle or make horrible choices.
Today, I’ve invited Kathi to sit across the table and give us a little help and a lot of hope for our hearts. {And if you’re not a mom I hope you’ll keep reading and share this encouragement with a mom you know!}
My kitchen table has become the Confessional, only better, since I also serve banana muffins.
“My teenager is having sex.”
“I found pot in her dresser,”
“My son got kicked out of school. Preschool.”
I’ve heard it all. All of it.
And what everyone thinks is that as soon as they confess – as soon as they tell someone else about their son cheating at school, that they will automatically move from one category to the next.
They move from Good Mom to Bad Mom.
And now everything that your friend has known as fact is up for debate:
If I’m a good mom, I will raise great kids.
If I take them to church, they will grow up trusting God.
If I pray for my kids, they will turn out fine.
All the things that parenting books and Christian talk radio promised them has gone out the window, along with their sense of self and their hope for their kids. Because of a child’s lousy decision, you or your friend’s world has fallen apart.
So what do you say to the crumpled mom who feels like a mess? The one sitting at your kitchen table or looking at you in the mirror? Here are a few things that have been said to me (and I’ve said to other moms,) that have actually helped when my kids didn’t go according to plan:
- “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” This is especially helpful when it’s a younger child who bit their teacher, hit their brother in the head with a tool box, or had to have security called at Target because they were throwing such a fit. We all think we have great kids – until they’re not. But one bad day doesn’t undo all that parenting that you’ve poured into them.
- “I’m still a fan of your child!” When our child has royally messed up, there is something about another adult who you admire seeing something besides “future adult delinquent” in your child that will give you hope. Let them know how smart, funny, creative and helpful their child is. It really can make a difference. And if it’s your kid, find something to remind yourself, that is good about him.
- “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.
- “God has not given up on your child.” Some the greatest mentors and friends in my life were the ones who were running the furthest away from God in their teens, 20’s and 30’s and causing their parents to be on their knees constantly. God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
- “Me too.” We all need to know that we are not alone. We all need to hear the two sweetest words of community: “Me too.” Let your friend know of your failures – and your child’s failures. “Me too,” is a great sting removed to a hurting parent.
And can I say, thank you? Obviously, if your friend is confiding in you, you have done something to demonstrate that you are a safe place – a refuge. We need more yous in the world.
ENTER TO WIN: (Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
It’s easy to feel worried and anxious as a parent. There are so many areas of your child’s life that can go wrong along the way. What’s a mom to do? In I Need Some Help Here! Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan, Kathi meets you in your moments of panic or despair with wit and wisdom.
In each chapter, Kathi offers the most powerful tools, from prayer to practical tips, for you and your child. The book covers all of the stages of your child’s life from toddler to young adult and tackles the most common issues that cause stress and anxiety, sharing:
- Practical wisdom when your child makes poor choices
- How to pray when your child is running away from God
- Comforting words fore when your child feels left out
- “been there” advice for when your child is different than other kids
Whether you are at the end of your rope, or simply need a little extra support as you walk the parenting road, you’ll cherish Kathi’s heart, humor and experience!
Enter to WIN 2 copies by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below!
(Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
What’s one thing Kathi shared that you will tell yourself or share with a friend this week? And let us know why you’d like to win a copy and what friend will you give the 2nd copy to if your name is chosen?
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Don’t put your faith in the sheep, but the Shepherd. Great reminder. Would love to win for advice on pre-teen & there are lots of Mom friends I could share with.
Do not judge your parenting by one bad day, this is what I needed to hear. Reading the entire book would be great.
I love her point if not judging your parenting on one bad day. As the mom of a pre-teen I cold really use this book and I have a number of friends that could use the second copy. ❤❤❤
Would love a chance to win this set of books! The reminder that one bad day doesn’t make us a bad mom and that we are not in this motherhood journey alone.
Don’t put your faith in the sheep but in the Shepherd. Also, don’t judge your parenting on one bad day. I’d love to give a copy to my sister. She has a child who has always been difficult & as bad as it sounds just today she said she feels as though she has a “project” child. It’s really sad & the situation makes my sister doubt herself as a mom.
My kids are still very young but oh man do they make me lose it. I love how Kathi reminds us that our ONLY hope is in God and praying for our kids is the best we can do.. and it still may not go how we want. What a great outlook on parenting, so encouraging!
I would really love to read this book to help me conquer some of the parenting challenges we face with our 12, 4 and 2 year old. Thanks for sponsoring such a relevant giveaway!
What stuck with me is not to judge your success on one bad day. I’d love the book!
There were two points from this book that really encouraged me. The first was not to judge your parenting based off one bad day. We all have them and sometimes I forget that. The second was not to trust the sheep but to trust the Shepherd. I needed that reminder today!
This book sounds amazing and if I don’t win the giveaway, I will definitely buy it.
If I do win, I will give the second copy to a friend of mine who has 8 children. She and her husband had three, adopted two, and are fostering three, two of whom they are trying to adopt.
Blessings to all the moms on this journey. Our God is faithful.
I God has not given up on your child.. Boy, did I need to hear that.
I guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom – I told that to a friend the other day.
I would give a copy of the book to Gi a.
“Don’t put your faith in the sheep. Put your faith in the Shepherd.” My friend Lisa & I have been trying to remember this in the last 20+ years that we have been raising our kids. Just because your kids are in their 20s doesn’t mean they don’t need your prayers and that they don’t come back & ask for guidance. As we have dealt with our kids health issues, emotional issues, learning disabilities, we have constantly tried to keep our eyes on Him and not on the “Bad Mom” label that you feel gets stuck to you by school staff, family & friends. Our children were created by the One who has known His plan for them all along even when we don’t see it.
I would this book to help with 13 yr old daughter who was bullied, started cutting herself and thinks God is stupid and mean. Thank you for writing this book. I love the reminder God hasnt given up on your child.
Would love to have this in my collection and share with one of my closest friends that has an 11yr old son like myself.
The chapter “Me too” seems to be perfect for those times when I stop another parent to let them know, that although the current situation is not really funny, it makes me happy to know I’m not the only parent having to deal with a particular issue.
I will remind myself this week that I am not the only one with these struggles! I am very uplifted by this article & would love to win the book because I have a lot of difficulties dealing with my son acting out in public. He is great at home but a whole different kid when he gets around other people which is very discouraging & I wish others could see what I can! Would share the second book with a friend who is also a single mom.
My favorite of the points listed is #4 – God has not given up on your child. I am the mother of a special needs now adult child. It’s so difficult to treat her as the adult that she is and step back and watch as she makes wrong decisions that I know are only going to hurt her. I understand it’s hard for everyone to let go of their child once he/she arrives at adulthood, but with a special needs kid, it’s even more difficult to know where to draw the line, when to step in and when to step back. I have to trust every day that God loves her even more than I do and that He knows the situation and has her in his hands.
If I win, I would give the second copy to a friend who has three special needs adult children and is struggling with severe issues multiplied by 3.
I will repeatedly tell myself to trust the Shepherd and not the sheep this week. I have a kiddo with autism and I am a constant bundle of worry and fear. I would love to give a copy to my neighbor.
A lovely phrase, and such sweet words to tell myself: God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
A burden has been lifted because I was holding myself entirely responsible for making sure my son knows God. This entire message is so timely for me. I’m a single mom and have been feeling like such a colossal failure.
No one immediately comes to mind to share a copy of this book with. I’m sure if I had it in my hands, God would lead me to the person who needs it most at that moment.
Thanks for your hard work and sharing your insights!
I would love to read the book for some advice in parenting. It sure can be overwhelming some days.
I couldn’t have seen this at a better time. My 12 year old (going on 30) and I are butting heads ALL the time, and I’ve spent too many nights feeling like I’ll never get this parenting thing right. Just reading the words “don’t judge your parenting on one bad day” makes me feel like I’m not alone…
Piece of advice: when a child has messed up, being able to see something amazing in the child. I practice this with my students in my preschool classroom b/c I have found it so encouraging when someone did that for me with my children.
We have 3 kids and two of them are strong willed! Wow it’s down right hard parenting strong willed children, sometimes it’s like I’m talking to myself. I have found that it has made me a better teacher and I’ve been able to encourage some of the parents of my students and make a difference in their lives.
I would share my copy with my bible study girlfriend who is a single mom of four precious children who have already gone thru more in their short lives than most adults.
Thx for the opportunity.