My friend Kathi Lipp has written a book every mom needs to read. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s my friend. I’m saying that because {you} are! Maybe we’ve never met but, because our hearts and lives are connected through my blog or Facebook page, I see you as a friend God’s brought into my life to encourage. A friend to pray for. A friend to offer hope to and remind you of God’s truth for you.
Kathi’s book is unique and the timing of it is perfect! Over the past few months, I’ve heard from countless moms who feel guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom. They are discouraged and depleted. And I’ve been there.
One of my favorite chapters in Kathi’s book is chapter 2, Don’t Hang Out in the Motherhood Alone. Now that will preach! Gosh we need to know we’re not alone, and that our kids aren’t the only kids who struggle or make horrible choices.
Today, I’ve invited Kathi to sit across the table and give us a little help and a lot of hope for our hearts. {And if you’re not a mom I hope you’ll keep reading and share this encouragement with a mom you know!}
My kitchen table has become the Confessional, only better, since I also serve banana muffins.
“My teenager is having sex.”
“I found pot in her dresser,”
“My son got kicked out of school. Preschool.”
I’ve heard it all. All of it.
And what everyone thinks is that as soon as they confess – as soon as they tell someone else about their son cheating at school, that they will automatically move from one category to the next.
They move from Good Mom to Bad Mom.
And now everything that your friend has known as fact is up for debate:
If I’m a good mom, I will raise great kids.
If I take them to church, they will grow up trusting God.
If I pray for my kids, they will turn out fine.
All the things that parenting books and Christian talk radio promised them has gone out the window, along with their sense of self and their hope for their kids. Because of a child’s lousy decision, you or your friend’s world has fallen apart.
So what do you say to the crumpled mom who feels like a mess? The one sitting at your kitchen table or looking at you in the mirror? Here are a few things that have been said to me (and I’ve said to other moms,) that have actually helped when my kids didn’t go according to plan:
- “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” This is especially helpful when it’s a younger child who bit their teacher, hit their brother in the head with a tool box, or had to have security called at Target because they were throwing such a fit. We all think we have great kids – until they’re not. But one bad day doesn’t undo all that parenting that you’ve poured into them.
- “I’m still a fan of your child!” When our child has royally messed up, there is something about another adult who you admire seeing something besides “future adult delinquent” in your child that will give you hope. Let them know how smart, funny, creative and helpful their child is. It really can make a difference. And if it’s your kid, find something to remind yourself, that is good about him.
- “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.
- “God has not given up on your child.” Some the greatest mentors and friends in my life were the ones who were running the furthest away from God in their teens, 20’s and 30’s and causing their parents to be on their knees constantly. God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
- “Me too.” We all need to know that we are not alone. We all need to hear the two sweetest words of community: “Me too.” Let your friend know of your failures – and your child’s failures. “Me too,” is a great sting removed to a hurting parent.
And can I say, thank you? Obviously, if your friend is confiding in you, you have done something to demonstrate that you are a safe place – a refuge. We need more yous in the world.
ENTER TO WIN: (Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
It’s easy to feel worried and anxious as a parent. There are so many areas of your child’s life that can go wrong along the way. What’s a mom to do? In I Need Some Help Here! Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan, Kathi meets you in your moments of panic or despair with wit and wisdom.
In each chapter, Kathi offers the most powerful tools, from prayer to practical tips, for you and your child. The book covers all of the stages of your child’s life from toddler to young adult and tackles the most common issues that cause stress and anxiety, sharing:
- Practical wisdom when your child makes poor choices
- How to pray when your child is running away from God
- Comforting words fore when your child feels left out
- “been there” advice for when your child is different than other kids
Whether you are at the end of your rope, or simply need a little extra support as you walk the parenting road, you’ll cherish Kathi’s heart, humor and experience!
Enter to WIN 2 copies by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below!
(Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
What’s one thing Kathi shared that you will tell yourself or share with a friend this week? And let us know why you’d like to win a copy and what friend will you give the 2nd copy to if your name is chosen?
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My 16 yr old son will be leaving me in less than two weeks to live with his father.. I’ve had him since birth..the good, the bad & the ugly… But now he’s decided that I’m his worse enemy and dad is the better option. Where did I go wrong? Will ever love me again? Will he ever look at me and smile and not look like he wants to spit at me? My heart is broken.. But I’m also tired and feel like if it’s that bad for you..them go… It sounds harsh to even type those words. Past mistakes make me wonder if life will ever get back to normal. What if he moves there and gets involved with drugs or gets hurt? BUT what a fabulous reminder You have given… I believe the “sheep” could be myself or my son…bottom line..look to the shepherd.. HE’S GOT THIS!!
““Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.
When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.”
****that last line makes me want to shout!
I’d love a copy of the book…and the copy would go to my next door neighbor who has shared many cups of coffee with me!
God Bless,
Angella L
I need this book! I struggle with issues everyday & say to myself I just need some help! I try laying it all out through prayer which always seems to help. Realizing that I’m not the only mom that feels the way I do is also comforting, but it’s easy to forget during stressful, frustrating times. I love my kids & want to give them the best of me all of the time, not just when I feel stress free. I would love to have this book!
Being a single mom…of teenage girls, is very “trying” sometimes, and I often find myself judging my skills at being a mom. God gave me these girls to raise them up in the way they should go. Am I doing that? Satan preys on our weakest moments, and its then that I stop and thank God for giving me my girls. I have told my girls not to raise their children the way I have raised them, because I am doing it all wrong. Its the words of affirmation from them that tells me…”hey, its gonna be ok”. God gave us friends, prayer partners to hold us up and help us on our way. When I approach a “seasoned” mom with the troubles I am facing, it truly is nice to hear I’ve been there…me too! I would give the other book to my “seasoned” mom who has said, “I have been there…me too”.
Trust the Shepherd not the sheep!
I would praise God if I won this book because He directed me to this offer immediately after I wrote to my son telling him I was honoring his wishes by letting him go. He has walked away from God over the past 2 years, is living a homosexual lifestyle, is in a toxic relationship, and has written most of his loved ones out of his life. I’m heartbroken. This was a child who said God was his medicine and life until the age of 18. In a sense, I feel I am sacrificing my son so God can save his soul because I question whether he was ever really saved. My 17 year old daughter has walked away from God since my son announced he is gay because she’s angry. As she has gotten further from Him, she now suffers from severe anxiety and OCD which is debilitating at times. My kids used to live for Christ. Now they are wayward, and reject God completely. I’m a mess.
i would give this book to my friend Julie who is dealing with similar issues of wayward children – she has 3.
I really need to remember that one bad day does not make me or my husband a bad parent & I always need to be reminded to not be so quick to judge. I would give the second copy to my friend who has children about the same age as mine, we could then support each other and “compare notes”…
I’m going to remind myself to keep my trust in the Shepherd. I’ve been at my wits end lately, and I really needed this reminder! I have a friend who could use this book as well 🙂 Her kids are a challenge for her too!
Oh my! Could really use this book right now. She spoke volumes to me.
I’d love to read this book. Just had a blow up today with my 12 yr old daughter. I need some help!
Oh my goodness, its great that a book was written. Raising kids is so difficult, today. Help is so appreciated. It’s often hard to turn to another woman for advice, for fear they will think your a failure, unless its a close friend that is having similar problems. This is not our parents time of raising kids. I would love to have this book and then share it with friends. Times are tough with a teen in our house with learning issues.
I am struggling now with regret and guilt as my 19 year old is lost and headed on a bad path and my 16 year old isn’t fitting in. They are both boys. Trying to put trust in their foundation and in God but so worried and tormented over this.
I love the advice about not putting our faith in the sheep, but in the shepherd. So often, especially as a now single mom, I find myself feeling like a failure every time my kids have a bad attitude or make a bad choice. It seems worse because I have no one here to encourage or back me up with them. I would LOVE and benefit so much from this book!! I have another single mom friend that I would share the other copy with. Lately we have both been feeling discouraged and this book could be just what we need!!
I would love a copy of this book for my sister. She has a very active 3 year old boy and an 11 month old little girl. She’s a stay at home mom and needs help! It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the daily chaos….she feels like everything she she tries doesn’t work. If I don’t win it I will most likely just buy it for her 🙂 thanks!!
So many truths I need to hear right now! Love the reminder that one bad moment/day doesn’t make me a bad mom. Would love to win this book and share these truths with my friends.
Would be great! I have four adopted kiddos three with fetal alcohol so things are definitely not according to plans lol!
I needed the reminder that God has not given up on my children. I often feel hopeless because I see the imperfect humanness in my kids all the time since we home school. Some days, I am exhausted from the battle. I have to remind myself that I am their parent, not their Holy Spirit. Jesus is the Savior of their souls, not me. I would share this book with my friend, Susan. 🙂
“Me too.” Not sure more comforting words have ever been heard by a momma. Especially a single one who feels alone. If I win 2 copies… I would give one to my friend and neighbor who is also a single mom. I think her first words to me were “me too.”
“been there” advice for when your child is different than other kids…
Having a child on the Autism spectrum… I would love to read more about this!!
And 5.. Me too!
I would love to read this book!
I will take the power of saying “me too” what a relief to hear someone acknowledge they too have problems. I would love to win this book because I love anything Kathi Lipp writes!! Also I know it will teach me something I have a 6 year old and could definitely use the help..lol ! I would give the other book to my bestie my sister who has 3 kids.
I would love to win this book. My 4-year-old has a mind of her own and does NOT think the same way I do! I frequently feel like I’m doing this parenting thing all wrong and everybody else’s kids seem to act so much better than mine. If I won I would give the second copy to my friend Polly who shared this link with me and would love some help with her 6th grader!
As a single mom, I always need to know I’m not alone. I would either give the 2nd copy to my co-worker who is a new mom or my sister