My friend Kathi Lipp has written a book every mom needs to read. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s my friend. I’m saying that because {you} are! Maybe we’ve never met but, because our hearts and lives are connected through my blog or Facebook page, I see you as a friend God’s brought into my life to encourage. A friend to pray for. A friend to offer hope to and remind you of God’s truth for you.
Kathi’s book is unique and the timing of it is perfect! Over the past few months, I’ve heard from countless moms who feel guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom. They are discouraged and depleted. And I’ve been there.
One of my favorite chapters in Kathi’s book is chapter 2, Don’t Hang Out in the Motherhood Alone. Now that will preach! Gosh we need to know we’re not alone, and that our kids aren’t the only kids who struggle or make horrible choices.
Today, I’ve invited Kathi to sit across the table and give us a little help and a lot of hope for our hearts. {And if you’re not a mom I hope you’ll keep reading and share this encouragement with a mom you know!}
My kitchen table has become the Confessional, only better, since I also serve banana muffins.
“My teenager is having sex.”
“I found pot in her dresser,”
“My son got kicked out of school. Preschool.”
I’ve heard it all. All of it.
And what everyone thinks is that as soon as they confess – as soon as they tell someone else about their son cheating at school, that they will automatically move from one category to the next.
They move from Good Mom to Bad Mom.
And now everything that your friend has known as fact is up for debate:
If I’m a good mom, I will raise great kids.
If I take them to church, they will grow up trusting God.
If I pray for my kids, they will turn out fine.
All the things that parenting books and Christian talk radio promised them has gone out the window, along with their sense of self and their hope for their kids. Because of a child’s lousy decision, you or your friend’s world has fallen apart.
So what do you say to the crumpled mom who feels like a mess? The one sitting at your kitchen table or looking at you in the mirror? Here are a few things that have been said to me (and I’ve said to other moms,) that have actually helped when my kids didn’t go according to plan:
- “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” This is especially helpful when it’s a younger child who bit their teacher, hit their brother in the head with a tool box, or had to have security called at Target because they were throwing such a fit. We all think we have great kids – until they’re not. But one bad day doesn’t undo all that parenting that you’ve poured into them.
- “I’m still a fan of your child!” When our child has royally messed up, there is something about another adult who you admire seeing something besides “future adult delinquent” in your child that will give you hope. Let them know how smart, funny, creative and helpful their child is. It really can make a difference. And if it’s your kid, find something to remind yourself, that is good about him.
- “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.
- “God has not given up on your child.” Some the greatest mentors and friends in my life were the ones who were running the furthest away from God in their teens, 20’s and 30’s and causing their parents to be on their knees constantly. God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
- “Me too.” We all need to know that we are not alone. We all need to hear the two sweetest words of community: “Me too.” Let your friend know of your failures – and your child’s failures. “Me too,” is a great sting removed to a hurting parent.
And can I say, thank you? Obviously, if your friend is confiding in you, you have done something to demonstrate that you are a safe place – a refuge. We need more yous in the world.
ENTER TO WIN: (Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
It’s easy to feel worried and anxious as a parent. There are so many areas of your child’s life that can go wrong along the way. What’s a mom to do? In I Need Some Help Here! Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan, Kathi meets you in your moments of panic or despair with wit and wisdom.
In each chapter, Kathi offers the most powerful tools, from prayer to practical tips, for you and your child. The book covers all of the stages of your child’s life from toddler to young adult and tackles the most common issues that cause stress and anxiety, sharing:
- Practical wisdom when your child makes poor choices
- How to pray when your child is running away from God
- Comforting words fore when your child feels left out
- “been there” advice for when your child is different than other kids
Whether you are at the end of your rope, or simply need a little extra support as you walk the parenting road, you’ll cherish Kathi’s heart, humor and experience!
Enter to WIN 2 copies by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below!
(Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
What’s one thing Kathi shared that you will tell yourself or share with a friend this week? And let us know why you’d like to win a copy and what friend will you give the 2nd copy to if your name is chosen?
I don’t have children of my own. It wasn’t in God’s plan for me. However He has given me the gift of working with children. I was a preschool teacher for 20 years and I decided to put my faith in God and start my own preschool. Not just any preschool but one to bridge the learning gap for low income children while teaching and showing the love of Jesus. The message I will carry with me is I’m not perfect and I will make mistakes. This not only helps me, it can have a ripple affect to the children I care for and their parents. If I won, I would make my second copy available to the parents of my students. It takes a village to raise a child and I want all my kids and parents to have every resource available to succeed academically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Thank you
The most beneficial thing that I read in this post was: Don’t base my value as a parent on one “bad day” (or “bad moment”) of parenting. As a single mom, this is the most difficult concept for me to grasp at times because that dang devil likes to tell me lies too.
If I were to be chosen, I would give the second copy to my friend, Nancy Forster, because she too is a single mom of a special needs child (and her daughter has epilepsy). She is one of the strongest women that I know, but I also know that she feels overwhelmed at times too.
Blessings to you all.
I have two very strong willed children. At the ages of 6 and 8, I already feel like I’ve failed them. And continue to fail them, Daily. Would love a copy of her book.
I would love to read this book. Needing a lot of help here. Thank you.
Me too. Everything! I keep thinking, after raising 2 kids and starting over with 2 more, I should be better at this mothering thing. I mean, really. I let Satan talk lies to me and kee me in guilt and shame. My 19 year old daughter eloped with a man she barely knew. Already getting divorced after 7 months. My fault? No. But in my weak moments, I blame myself. Even when I know better. I have a friend I woukd LOVE to share this book with. I’m not alone. I will repeat that over and over.
The past couple of days have been exceptionally trying. I have felt like such a failure of a mom to my four year old daughter. I need to remember that I’m not alone in this feeling. I’m guessing that there are others who need to know that they aren’t alone either. There are a number of people I could give the other copy to but I think it will be to a fellow Coastie wife and friend. Even if I don’t win, I’m going to purchase this book! 🙂 Thank you!
I would love to win this book and share with another mom friend. Sometimes in the rough of it, it gets overwhelming and the next thing I know I can feel a little hopeless.
Love the blog and try to catch up daily!! If I was to win this book since my children are grown I would give it to my daughter who is always self doubting her ” mom abilities”
I would love to win because everyone needs encouragement on this crazy ride that we call parenthood! And the second copy naturally goes to my best friend!
Although I haven’t had experience with all of the topic she talks about, I may in the future. I will give a copy to my best friend.
Because love drives us (moms/parents) to humility on a daily basis. Finding true north on the compass seems to require constant re calibration and seeking out resources to broaden wisdom.
Being a parent is hard work. We don’t have all the answers, but God does. It woud be great to give a book to a young mom in my church that has young children and is feeling overwhelmed. God’s word is the only thing that can change hearts.
This sounds like a book i need!! I am home raising three girls alone. I look for ways to connect with my oldest, 13, this is becoming a challenging age!!
Wow. I am so glad that you wrote a book on these things. My kids are grown but I still have those thoughts of how I should have done something different or more for my children so that they wouldn’t wander from God. I would give the other copy to my niece who has two daughters. One is going into middle school and the other, who is still in elementary school, loves to push the limits with her “creativity”. Both are very bright girls but can be a challenge for my niece and her husband. After I read my copy, I will give it to my daughter who is raising my granddaughter. She needs to hear some of these things too. Thank you for the opportunity to win these books.
It would be a blessing to win this book. I have more days of wondering where I’ve gone wrong than days when I feel like I’m doing something right… and my oldest is only five! I’ll take all the help I can get, and the best thing about a parenting book like this is the knowledge that others need that help as well… so us struggling moms can see we are not alone.
Sounds like an awesome book! Great job Kathi. I would look through the book first because I am a grandma of 6 delightful grandkids, but then pass it on to my daughter Allison, who lives with us along our oldest grandchild and her 10 year old brother. I would give the other book to my daughter Jennifer, who has an 18 month old and a 3 year old.
Wish I had this book when I was raising my kids… 😉
Thanks Renee for a great encouraging blog for all moms…and grandmas!
I would love this book. It seems I generally make things more of a mess when my Children are having a bad day. It’s not until I’m alone and things are quite that I hear gods voice telling me I should have been more gentle. I’m sure this book would help me out.
I need to constantly remember to put my faith in the Shepherd. No matter the situation. I’d love to win the books for myself & my sister!
The book all sounds great, but the part that interests me the most at this time, is the section on a child that is different. I am certain this book will be a reference manual, along with my bible, in the years ahead. Similar to the What to Expect When You Are Expecting book was some years ago. The second book I would definitely give to my sister, who is a hard-working, single mother of a strong-willed child. Unfortunately, my nephew sees very little of his father and my sister can use all the help she can get. Thank you for your generosity and may God richly bless you for sharing your words of wisdom and encouragement with us.
I love the ” I am still a fan of your kid.” What a wonderful thing to say and be! I would love a copy of this book because I learned so much from this little article , imagine what I would learn from a whole book. 🙂 2nd copy would be for my friend Hali because I am a fan of her kids!
Don’t put your faith in the sheep, but the Shepherd. Great reminder. Would love to win for advice on pre-teen & there are lots of Mom friends I could share with.
Do not judge your parenting by one bad day, this is what I needed to hear. Reading the entire book would be great.
I love her point if not judging your parenting on one bad day. As the mom of a pre-teen I cold really use this book and I have a number of friends that could use the second copy. ❤❤❤
Would love a chance to win this set of books! The reminder that one bad day doesn’t make us a bad mom and that we are not in this motherhood journey alone.
Don’t put your faith in the sheep but in the Shepherd. Also, don’t judge your parenting on one bad day. I’d love to give a copy to my sister. She has a child who has always been difficult & as bad as it sounds just today she said she feels as though she has a “project” child. It’s really sad & the situation makes my sister doubt herself as a mom.
My kids are still very young but oh man do they make me lose it. I love how Kathi reminds us that our ONLY hope is in God and praying for our kids is the best we can do.. and it still may not go how we want. What a great outlook on parenting, so encouraging!
I would really love to read this book to help me conquer some of the parenting challenges we face with our 12, 4 and 2 year old. Thanks for sponsoring such a relevant giveaway!
What stuck with me is not to judge your success on one bad day. I’d love the book!
There were two points from this book that really encouraged me. The first was not to judge your parenting based off one bad day. We all have them and sometimes I forget that. The second was not to trust the sheep but to trust the Shepherd. I needed that reminder today!
This book sounds amazing and if I don’t win the giveaway, I will definitely buy it.
If I do win, I will give the second copy to a friend of mine who has 8 children. She and her husband had three, adopted two, and are fostering three, two of whom they are trying to adopt.
Blessings to all the moms on this journey. Our God is faithful.
I God has not given up on your child.. Boy, did I need to hear that.
I guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom – I told that to a friend the other day.
I would give a copy of the book to Gi a.
“Don’t put your faith in the sheep. Put your faith in the Shepherd.” My friend Lisa & I have been trying to remember this in the last 20+ years that we have been raising our kids. Just because your kids are in their 20s doesn’t mean they don’t need your prayers and that they don’t come back & ask for guidance. As we have dealt with our kids health issues, emotional issues, learning disabilities, we have constantly tried to keep our eyes on Him and not on the “Bad Mom” label that you feel gets stuck to you by school staff, family & friends. Our children were created by the One who has known His plan for them all along even when we don’t see it.
I would this book to help with 13 yr old daughter who was bullied, started cutting herself and thinks God is stupid and mean. Thank you for writing this book. I love the reminder God hasnt given up on your child.
Would love to have this in my collection and share with one of my closest friends that has an 11yr old son like myself.
The chapter “Me too” seems to be perfect for those times when I stop another parent to let them know, that although the current situation is not really funny, it makes me happy to know I’m not the only parent having to deal with a particular issue.
I will remind myself this week that I am not the only one with these struggles! I am very uplifted by this article & would love to win the book because I have a lot of difficulties dealing with my son acting out in public. He is great at home but a whole different kid when he gets around other people which is very discouraging & I wish others could see what I can! Would share the second book with a friend who is also a single mom.
My favorite of the points listed is #4 – God has not given up on your child. I am the mother of a special needs now adult child. It’s so difficult to treat her as the adult that she is and step back and watch as she makes wrong decisions that I know are only going to hurt her. I understand it’s hard for everyone to let go of their child once he/she arrives at adulthood, but with a special needs kid, it’s even more difficult to know where to draw the line, when to step in and when to step back. I have to trust every day that God loves her even more than I do and that He knows the situation and has her in his hands.
If I win, I would give the second copy to a friend who has three special needs adult children and is struggling with severe issues multiplied by 3.
I will repeatedly tell myself to trust the Shepherd and not the sheep this week. I have a kiddo with autism and I am a constant bundle of worry and fear. I would love to give a copy to my neighbor.
A lovely phrase, and such sweet words to tell myself: God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
A burden has been lifted because I was holding myself entirely responsible for making sure my son knows God. This entire message is so timely for me. I’m a single mom and have been feeling like such a colossal failure.
No one immediately comes to mind to share a copy of this book with. I’m sure if I had it in my hands, God would lead me to the person who needs it most at that moment.
Thanks for your hard work and sharing your insights!
I would love to read the book for some advice in parenting. It sure can be overwhelming some days.
I couldn’t have seen this at a better time. My 12 year old (going on 30) and I are butting heads ALL the time, and I’ve spent too many nights feeling like I’ll never get this parenting thing right. Just reading the words “don’t judge your parenting on one bad day” makes me feel like I’m not alone…
Piece of advice: when a child has messed up, being able to see something amazing in the child. I practice this with my students in my preschool classroom b/c I have found it so encouraging when someone did that for me with my children.
We have 3 kids and two of them are strong willed! Wow it’s down right hard parenting strong willed children, sometimes it’s like I’m talking to myself. I have found that it has made me a better teacher and I’ve been able to encourage some of the parents of my students and make a difference in their lives.
I would share my copy with my bible study girlfriend who is a single mom of four precious children who have already gone thru more in their short lives than most adults.
Thx for the opportunity.
My 16 yr old son will be leaving me in less than two weeks to live with his father.. I’ve had him since birth..the good, the bad & the ugly… But now he’s decided that I’m his worse enemy and dad is the better option. Where did I go wrong? Will ever love me again? Will he ever look at me and smile and not look like he wants to spit at me? My heart is broken.. But I’m also tired and feel like if it’s that bad for you..them go… It sounds harsh to even type those words. Past mistakes make me wonder if life will ever get back to normal. What if he moves there and gets involved with drugs or gets hurt? BUT what a fabulous reminder You have given… I believe the “sheep” could be myself or my son…bottom line..look to the shepherd.. HE’S GOT THIS!!
““Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.
When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.”
****that last line makes me want to shout!
I’d love a copy of the book…and the copy would go to my next door neighbor who has shared many cups of coffee with me!
God Bless,
Angella L
I need this book! I struggle with issues everyday & say to myself I just need some help! I try laying it all out through prayer which always seems to help. Realizing that I’m not the only mom that feels the way I do is also comforting, but it’s easy to forget during stressful, frustrating times. I love my kids & want to give them the best of me all of the time, not just when I feel stress free. I would love to have this book!
Being a single mom…of teenage girls, is very “trying” sometimes, and I often find myself judging my skills at being a mom. God gave me these girls to raise them up in the way they should go. Am I doing that? Satan preys on our weakest moments, and its then that I stop and thank God for giving me my girls. I have told my girls not to raise their children the way I have raised them, because I am doing it all wrong. Its the words of affirmation from them that tells me…”hey, its gonna be ok”. God gave us friends, prayer partners to hold us up and help us on our way. When I approach a “seasoned” mom with the troubles I am facing, it truly is nice to hear I’ve been there…me too! I would give the other book to my “seasoned” mom who has said, “I have been there…me too”.
Trust the Shepherd not the sheep!
I would praise God if I won this book because He directed me to this offer immediately after I wrote to my son telling him I was honoring his wishes by letting him go. He has walked away from God over the past 2 years, is living a homosexual lifestyle, is in a toxic relationship, and has written most of his loved ones out of his life. I’m heartbroken. This was a child who said God was his medicine and life until the age of 18. In a sense, I feel I am sacrificing my son so God can save his soul because I question whether he was ever really saved. My 17 year old daughter has walked away from God since my son announced he is gay because she’s angry. As she has gotten further from Him, she now suffers from severe anxiety and OCD which is debilitating at times. My kids used to live for Christ. Now they are wayward, and reject God completely. I’m a mess.
i would give this book to my friend Julie who is dealing with similar issues of wayward children – she has 3.
I really need to remember that one bad day does not make me or my husband a bad parent & I always need to be reminded to not be so quick to judge. I would give the second copy to my friend who has children about the same age as mine, we could then support each other and “compare notes”…
I’m going to remind myself to keep my trust in the Shepherd. I’ve been at my wits end lately, and I really needed this reminder! I have a friend who could use this book as well 🙂 Her kids are a challenge for her too!
Oh my! Could really use this book right now. She spoke volumes to me.
I’d love to read this book. Just had a blow up today with my 12 yr old daughter. I need some help!
Oh my goodness, its great that a book was written. Raising kids is so difficult, today. Help is so appreciated. It’s often hard to turn to another woman for advice, for fear they will think your a failure, unless its a close friend that is having similar problems. This is not our parents time of raising kids. I would love to have this book and then share it with friends. Times are tough with a teen in our house with learning issues.
I am struggling now with regret and guilt as my 19 year old is lost and headed on a bad path and my 16 year old isn’t fitting in. They are both boys. Trying to put trust in their foundation and in God but so worried and tormented over this.