My friend Kathi Lipp has written a book every mom needs to read. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s my friend. I’m saying that because {you} are! Maybe we’ve never met but, because our hearts and lives are connected through my blog or Facebook page, I see you as a friend God’s brought into my life to encourage. A friend to pray for. A friend to offer hope to and remind you of God’s truth for you.
Kathi’s book is unique and the timing of it is perfect! Over the past few months, I’ve heard from countless moms who feel guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom. They are discouraged and depleted. And I’ve been there.
One of my favorite chapters in Kathi’s book is chapter 2, Don’t Hang Out in the Motherhood Alone. Now that will preach! Gosh we need to know we’re not alone, and that our kids aren’t the only kids who struggle or make horrible choices.
Today, I’ve invited Kathi to sit across the table and give us a little help and a lot of hope for our hearts. {And if you’re not a mom I hope you’ll keep reading and share this encouragement with a mom you know!}
My kitchen table has become the Confessional, only better, since I also serve banana muffins.
“My teenager is having sex.”
“I found pot in her dresser,”
“My son got kicked out of school. Preschool.”
I’ve heard it all. All of it.
And what everyone thinks is that as soon as they confess – as soon as they tell someone else about their son cheating at school, that they will automatically move from one category to the next.
They move from Good Mom to Bad Mom.
And now everything that your friend has known as fact is up for debate:
If I’m a good mom, I will raise great kids.
If I take them to church, they will grow up trusting God.
If I pray for my kids, they will turn out fine.
All the things that parenting books and Christian talk radio promised them has gone out the window, along with their sense of self and their hope for their kids. Because of a child’s lousy decision, you or your friend’s world has fallen apart.
So what do you say to the crumpled mom who feels like a mess? The one sitting at your kitchen table or looking at you in the mirror? Here are a few things that have been said to me (and I’ve said to other moms,) that have actually helped when my kids didn’t go according to plan:
- “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” This is especially helpful when it’s a younger child who bit their teacher, hit their brother in the head with a tool box, or had to have security called at Target because they were throwing such a fit. We all think we have great kids – until they’re not. But one bad day doesn’t undo all that parenting that you’ve poured into them.
- “I’m still a fan of your child!” When our child has royally messed up, there is something about another adult who you admire seeing something besides “future adult delinquent” in your child that will give you hope. Let them know how smart, funny, creative and helpful their child is. It really can make a difference. And if it’s your kid, find something to remind yourself, that is good about him.
- “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.
- “God has not given up on your child.” Some the greatest mentors and friends in my life were the ones who were running the furthest away from God in their teens, 20’s and 30’s and causing their parents to be on their knees constantly. God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
- “Me too.” We all need to know that we are not alone. We all need to hear the two sweetest words of community: “Me too.” Let your friend know of your failures – and your child’s failures. “Me too,” is a great sting removed to a hurting parent.
And can I say, thank you? Obviously, if your friend is confiding in you, you have done something to demonstrate that you are a safe place – a refuge. We need more yous in the world.
ENTER TO WIN: (Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
It’s easy to feel worried and anxious as a parent. There are so many areas of your child’s life that can go wrong along the way. What’s a mom to do? In I Need Some Help Here! Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan, Kathi meets you in your moments of panic or despair with wit and wisdom.
In each chapter, Kathi offers the most powerful tools, from prayer to practical tips, for you and your child. The book covers all of the stages of your child’s life from toddler to young adult and tackles the most common issues that cause stress and anxiety, sharing:
- Practical wisdom when your child makes poor choices
- How to pray when your child is running away from God
- Comforting words fore when your child feels left out
- “been there” advice for when your child is different than other kids
Whether you are at the end of your rope, or simply need a little extra support as you walk the parenting road, you’ll cherish Kathi’s heart, humor and experience!
Enter to WIN 2 copies by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below!
(Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
What’s one thing Kathi shared that you will tell yourself or share with a friend this week? And let us know why you’d like to win a copy and what friend will you give the 2nd copy to if your name is chosen?
I love the advice about not putting our faith in the sheep, but in the shepherd. So often, especially as a now single mom, I find myself feeling like a failure every time my kids have a bad attitude or make a bad choice. It seems worse because I have no one here to encourage or back me up with them. I would LOVE and benefit so much from this book!! I have another single mom friend that I would share the other copy with. Lately we have both been feeling discouraged and this book could be just what we need!!
I would love a copy of this book for my sister. She has a very active 3 year old boy and an 11 month old little girl. She’s a stay at home mom and needs help! It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the daily chaos….she feels like everything she she tries doesn’t work. If I don’t win it I will most likely just buy it for her 🙂 thanks!!
So many truths I need to hear right now! Love the reminder that one bad moment/day doesn’t make me a bad mom. Would love to win this book and share these truths with my friends.
Would be great! I have four adopted kiddos three with fetal alcohol so things are definitely not according to plans lol!
I needed the reminder that God has not given up on my children. I often feel hopeless because I see the imperfect humanness in my kids all the time since we home school. Some days, I am exhausted from the battle. I have to remind myself that I am their parent, not their Holy Spirit. Jesus is the Savior of their souls, not me. I would share this book with my friend, Susan. 🙂
“Me too.” Not sure more comforting words have ever been heard by a momma. Especially a single one who feels alone. If I win 2 copies… I would give one to my friend and neighbor who is also a single mom. I think her first words to me were “me too.”
“been there” advice for when your child is different than other kids…
Having a child on the Autism spectrum… I would love to read more about this!!
And 5.. Me too!
I would love to read this book!
I will take the power of saying “me too” what a relief to hear someone acknowledge they too have problems. I would love to win this book because I love anything Kathi Lipp writes!! Also I know it will teach me something I have a 6 year old and could definitely use the help..lol ! I would give the other book to my bestie my sister who has 3 kids.
I would love to win this book. My 4-year-old has a mind of her own and does NOT think the same way I do! I frequently feel like I’m doing this parenting thing all wrong and everybody else’s kids seem to act so much better than mine. If I won I would give the second copy to my friend Polly who shared this link with me and would love some help with her 6th grader!
As a single mom, I always need to know I’m not alone. I would either give the 2nd copy to my co-worker who is a new mom or my sister
I would LOVE & APPRECIATE having this new book b/c Kathi is a funny & God-centered writer. Would like to learn to look @ parents from those perspectives b/c God has to be @ the center of our day-to-day parenting and God could be funny too! I will give the 2nd book to a mom who has younger kids and is in the thick of learning how to parent with God’s enabling. Thank U VERY VERY much in advance Renee!
can’t believe just how challenging parenting has been for my mom. Ultimately, it was difficult raising two kids- especially one with special needs. Just because I have cerebr…al palsy, it seemed like my parents expect more out of me than they expected from my younger brother- especially when it came down to academics When I had trouble in school with grades, my mom had the nerve to punish me and assume that I was watching too much TV- when that was actually my brother. Naturalst I could, tackling homework as soon as I got home from school. Ultimately, my brother was the opposite; he would watch TV before doing homework. Why didn’t my parents keep on his case about that? “My friend Kathi Lipp has written a book every mom needs to read. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s my friend. I’m saying that because {you} are! Maybe we’ve never met but, because our hearts and lives are connected through my blog or Facebook page, I see you as a friend God’s brought into my life to encourage. A friend to pray for. A friend to offer hope to and remind you of God’s truth for you.
Kathi’s book is unique and the timing of it is perfect! Over the past few months, I’ve heard from countless moms who feel guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom. They are discouraged and depleted. And I’ve been there.
One of my favorite chapters in Kathi’s book is chapter 2, Don’t Hang Out in the Motherhood Alone. Now that will preach! Gosh we need to know we’re not alone, and that our kids aren’t the only kids who struggle or make horrible choices.
Today, I’ve invited Kathi to sit across the table and give us a little help and a lot of hope for our hearts. {And if you’re not a mom I hope you’ll keep reading and share this encouragement with a mom you know!}
My kitchen table has become the Confessional, only better, since I also serve banana muffins.
“My teenager is having sex.”
“I found pot in her dresser,”
“My son got kicked out of school. Preschool.”
I’ve heard it all. All of it.
And what everyone thinks is that as soon as they confess – as soon as they tell someone else about their son cheating at school, that they will automatically move from one category to the next.
They move from Good Mom to Bad Mom.
And now everything that your friend has known as fact is up for debate:
If I’m a good mom, I will raise great kids.
If I take them to church, they will grow up trusting God.
If I pray for my kids, they will turn out fine.
All the things that parenting books and Christian talk radio promised them has gone out the window, along with their sense of self and their hope for their kids. Because of a child’s lousy decision, you or your friend’s world has fallen apart.
So what do you say to the crumpled mom who feels like a mess? The one sitting at your kitchen table or looking at you in the mirror? Here are a few things that have been said to me (and I’ve said to other moms,) that have actually helped when my kids didn’t go according to plan:
1.“Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” This is especially helpful when it’s a younger child who bit their teacher, hit their brother in the head with a tool box, or had to have security called at Target because they were throwing such a fit. We all think we have great kids – until they’re not. But one bad day doesn’t undo all that parenting that you’ve poured into them.
2.“I’m still a fan of your child!” When our child has royally messed up, there is something about another adult who you admire seeing something besides “future adult delinquent” in your child that will give you hope. Let them know how smart, funny, creative and helpful their child is. It really can make a difference. And if it’s your kid, find something to remind yourself, that is good about him.
3.“Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.
When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.
4.“God has not given up on your child.” Some the greatest mentors and friends in my life were the ones who were running the furthest away from God in their teens, 20’s and 30’s and causing their parents to be on their knees constantly. God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
5.“Me too.” We all need to know that we are not alone. We all need to hear the two sweetest words of community: “Me too.” Let your friend know of your failures – and your child’s failures. “Me too,” is a great sting removed to a hurting parent.
And can I say, thank you? Obviously, if your friend is confiding in you, you have done something to demonstrate that you are a safe place – a refuge. We need more yous in the world.”~ Renee Swope
Wow! I guess parents don’t exactly have all the answers. Ultimately, I know that my mom sure didn’t. Unfortunately, the biggest challenge she had to deal with took place when my brother was in his teens. During this particular time, he’d been rebelling against rules and curfews that had been put into place. I remember he’d gotten grounded once for sneaking out of the house; another time, he’d gotten punished for under-aged drinking during his first year of college. “I need some help here.” Wow! How often do we find ourselves saying this when we feel like we’re stuck in an unplanned mess that we don’t know how we got into or how to even get out of without any help from someone trustworthy in our entire lime? I think it’s normal to ask for some help occasionally. Yet, this doesn’t mean that we’re bad people whatsoever; it’s normal to need little extra assistance every now and aga. I find myself saying that occasionally. Nevertheless, my incredible husband, Ron Smith is always willing to lend me a hand. Although he’s totally blind, he does whatever he can to help me out with physical tasks I can’t do because of having cerebral palsy.
To not judge my parenting on one bad day. I would give a copy to my neighbor who recently adopted.
I have raised two kids on my own who are fully grown now but i have another baby 1 yr old and starting over again is so much harder than I expected. I would really love to have this book and I’d give the 2nd book to my step daughter. She has four little ones plus she’s raising her younger sister.
I love dont judge one bad day I always feel like I’m always messing up and am at a loss with the right things to say or do with my children. And I will share that encouragement w someone else and me too in the near future bc I know as much as I need to hear this so does another mamma bc when we put our hope in God there is no shame. Thank you
I love the reminder that one bad day is not the defining moment of our success (or lack there of!) as a parent. Actually have a couple of friends in mind who I would love to share this with! 🙂
Wow! I really needed to read this blog tonight! Especially after the battle I just had with my teenager, on a night when my husband is working and I’m here alone, dwelling on what a rotten parent I am 🙁 I needed to be reminded of all those things, but the thing I will probably tell someone else this week is “Me, too!” I know that God is always here, but some days when everything seems to be so hard and you just feel like you are making everything worse, this parenting thing feels quite lonely. I would share with my good friend Amanda 🙂
I am a granny now and would love to give this to my amazing daughter for her to know she is the best mom for her children!
I am a mom of 3 daughters (4, 5 and 7) and I am an elementary school teacher. I am often looking for strategies to “make it through” a day or a particular circumstance. Prayer is so important! I would be so thankful to win a book for myself and a copy to share with my sister!
Such a timely topic and encouragement for us. Would love to share this with my sister-in-law.
Love this: “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” My kids are only 3 and 1 1/2 but I am already struggling with so many poor choices my 3 year old makes and how to love him through those, which is why I would love to win this book. I truly need all the help I can get, especially from a woman who’s already been there! I would give the extra copy to my dear friend Susan who has 5 kids and she is desperate for some encouragement as well. 🙂
This week I will definitely tell my friends “me too”! I’ve battled depression (started with Prenatal Depression) and I constantly have guilt weighing on my shoulders about being a bad mom. I’m mentally exhausted and don’t play with them like I used to and I’m more frustrated than playful. My kids are 3 and 4! I would give the second book to my friend Ashley who went through postpartum depression as well and I got to be the one who was able to say “it’s ok..me too”. We are now working together to keep each other built up and not letting our bad days claim us 🙂
I’m 27 and a mom of 3 kids (2,4, & 6 years old). I loved what you said “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” This is such a great reminder for those days when you feel like a parenting failure. I can’t wait to read more words of wisdom like this in your book!
I would like to win this book. I have a sister and a young mom friend that I would love to share these with.
I would love to win this book. I have 2 children and often feel like I blow it as a parent. I also am a teacher and feel like sometimes I do a poor job at that as well. This book sounds encouraging for those of us with less than perfect families.
Trust the shepherd, not the sheep. What a great reminder.
This book sounds ‘fun”, encouraging and definitely needed. Parenting is not easy. Would love to win this book.
I want to share this with someone this week-When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame. I would like to win because I have a 10 year old son that I need tips on raising him, he’s opposite of both of his sisters & because I am mentoring ladies with toddlers/babies at our church & I need a book to help with that. I will share the other copy with my neighbor. Thanks, Susan
This book sounds perfect for me and my family. I would love to win this book. I would give the other copy to my sister in law Stormie Roberson! They have just adopted a 12 year old little boy and are going through some difficult times and I know this book could help them also! Thank you for writing such insightful and inspiring books!!
What Mom wouldn’t want to read this book!
Put your faith in the shepherd. Awesome words. I would share the other copy with my friend, Julie. We have been encouraging each other in our parenting for years.
This looks like a wonderful book. I feel like a horriable mom when one thing goes wrong and all pumped up when my child does something nice. I need to rely more on God and can use more encouragement and practical tips.
i love that she shared dont judge your parenting on one day.because if feels as if i want to do that everytime i have a bad day.
the friend i would share the other book would be christina petker she has four kids like me and we both go through “those” days… the days that i feel this book is written for
I need this book. I am at the end of my rope. I like that she shared that our hope is not in our kids, but in God. I know that God is changing me through this process, but it is much more difficult than I thought. I need to hear as much as God’s truth as I can, so I can be triumphant and give the glory back to Him. I will share the 2nd copy with my best friend.
The one thing shared that I will tell me self and share with another mom is to put my faith in the Shepherd not the sheep. That spoke to me so loudly that I look forward to learning more from Kathi should I be chosen to receive the two copies. Copy #2 would be given to my church library in hopes of touching multiple lives. xo
I think the best advice I saw above was “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.”
We all need to remember this every moment in our interactions with our children and others.
I would love to have this book because by the grace of God I have five kids ages 1 1/2 to 10 – Is there more of a reason than that? 🙂
I would share the other copy with a mom from church, one of our newer pastor’s wives, because she has 4 children age 8 and under so she may even need it more than I do!!! 🙂
Thanks for the opportunity and all you do!!!
God Bless!!!
How wonderful! This would be very beneficial for me these days 🙂
I would love to win this book. I would love to share it with other Moms in my MOPs group.
As the mother of 5 teens currently (and 2 out on their own) – I would LOVE this book and can think of a number of friends to give the other one to, as well as loan out my own copy.
I have 5 kids. Would love to read your insight, tips, advice. Thanks for considering me.
As a mother of 4 year old triplets I could always use some Help!!! Judging my parenting skills from one bad day stands out. I’m guilty of that!
Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put your faith in the Shepard.
Amen!
I will remember I am not alone.
I really need some encouraging in my parentings so I would love to read this book.
Parenting is hard for a friend of mine…lots of variables going on and I hope this book might help and encourage her.
I would share twofold the facts that we shouldn’t judge ourselves by one…or several bad days…AND that GOD hasn’t given up on our children! These are both crucial in surviving as the parent of both typically developing children as well as parenting those with significant disability/special needs. My second copy would go to a lifelong friend(Jennifer Griffith) who now also has a child with a disability. We are both constantly reminded that the world can be both supportive & hurtful. This book looks uplifting in our journey both as moms & friends on this road together. I look forward to reading it even if I’m not chosen. Thank You for sharing this! 🙂
Trust the Shepherd not the sheep! I always need Godly reassurance of my parenting. I would give a copy to Missy Hines.
Wow! Love to win this book!
Love To WIn This Book
oh, this is wonderful! i’m a retired middle school teacher and a mother; while I wish your book had been here sooner, it’s never too late for help like this… and not just help, but Christian help. Big difference! Thank you so much. I’ll be following you.
WOW!!! How amazing this book would be great for any parent. I know so many single parents who would love this book. I don’t have kids and I would love it. Thank you for sharing.
God bless
I would love to win this book and learn how to set boundaries for my almost 14 year old teenager, thank you so very much