My friend Kathi Lipp has written a book every mom needs to read. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s my friend. I’m saying that because {you} are! Maybe we’ve never met but, because our hearts and lives are connected through my blog or Facebook page, I see you as a friend God’s brought into my life to encourage. A friend to pray for. A friend to offer hope to and remind you of God’s truth for you.
Kathi’s book is unique and the timing of it is perfect! Over the past few months, I’ve heard from countless moms who feel guilty, overwhelmed and like a failure as a mom. They are discouraged and depleted. And I’ve been there.
One of my favorite chapters in Kathi’s book is chapter 2, Don’t Hang Out in the Motherhood Alone. Now that will preach! Gosh we need to know we’re not alone, and that our kids aren’t the only kids who struggle or make horrible choices.
Today, I’ve invited Kathi to sit across the table and give us a little help and a lot of hope for our hearts. {And if you’re not a mom I hope you’ll keep reading and share this encouragement with a mom you know!}
My kitchen table has become the Confessional, only better, since I also serve banana muffins.
“My teenager is having sex.”
“I found pot in her dresser,”
“My son got kicked out of school. Preschool.”
I’ve heard it all. All of it.
And what everyone thinks is that as soon as they confess – as soon as they tell someone else about their son cheating at school, that they will automatically move from one category to the next.
They move from Good Mom to Bad Mom.
And now everything that your friend has known as fact is up for debate:
If I’m a good mom, I will raise great kids.
If I take them to church, they will grow up trusting God.
If I pray for my kids, they will turn out fine.
All the things that parenting books and Christian talk radio promised them has gone out the window, along with their sense of self and their hope for their kids. Because of a child’s lousy decision, you or your friend’s world has fallen apart.
So what do you say to the crumpled mom who feels like a mess? The one sitting at your kitchen table or looking at you in the mirror? Here are a few things that have been said to me (and I’ve said to other moms,) that have actually helped when my kids didn’t go according to plan:
- “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” This is especially helpful when it’s a younger child who bit their teacher, hit their brother in the head with a tool box, or had to have security called at Target because they were throwing such a fit. We all think we have great kids – until they’re not. But one bad day doesn’t undo all that parenting that you’ve poured into them.
- “I’m still a fan of your child!” When our child has royally messed up, there is something about another adult who you admire seeing something besides “future adult delinquent” in your child that will give you hope. Let them know how smart, funny, creative and helpful their child is. It really can make a difference. And if it’s your kid, find something to remind yourself, that is good about him.
- “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Psalm 25:1-3
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.
- “God has not given up on your child.” Some the greatest mentors and friends in my life were the ones who were running the furthest away from God in their teens, 20’s and 30’s and causing their parents to be on their knees constantly. God loves your child and will use other means than you to pursue his heart.
- “Me too.” We all need to know that we are not alone. We all need to hear the two sweetest words of community: “Me too.” Let your friend know of your failures – and your child’s failures. “Me too,” is a great sting removed to a hurting parent.
And can I say, thank you? Obviously, if your friend is confiding in you, you have done something to demonstrate that you are a safe place – a refuge. We need more yous in the world.
ENTER TO WIN: (Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
It’s easy to feel worried and anxious as a parent. There are so many areas of your child’s life that can go wrong along the way. What’s a mom to do? In I Need Some Help Here! Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan, Kathi meets you in your moments of panic or despair with wit and wisdom.
In each chapter, Kathi offers the most powerful tools, from prayer to practical tips, for you and your child. The book covers all of the stages of your child’s life from toddler to young adult and tackles the most common issues that cause stress and anxiety, sharing:
- Practical wisdom when your child makes poor choices
- How to pray when your child is running away from God
- Comforting words fore when your child feels left out
- “been there” advice for when your child is different than other kids
Whether you are at the end of your rope, or simply need a little extra support as you walk the parenting road, you’ll cherish Kathi’s heart, humor and experience!
Enter to WIN 2 copies by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” below!
(Thanks so much for stopping by, the GIVEAWAY is now over, but I would still love to hear from you!)
What’s one thing Kathi shared that you will tell yourself or share with a friend this week? And let us know why you’d like to win a copy and what friend will you give the 2nd copy to if your name is chosen?
I WOULD LOVE TO WIN THIS BOOK. I HAVE A 10 YEAR OLD WITH ANXIETY FROM A DIVORCE, AND I HAVE A 19 AND 23 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.
MY 23 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER COULD ALSO USE THIS BOOK SINCE SHE HAS A 5 YEAR OLD AND A 1 YEAR OLD BOY.
WE NEED AS MUCH GUIDANCE AS WE CAN GET RAISING OUR CHILDREN IN TODAY’S WORLD.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP.
Wow! I love the don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the shepherd. how true this is! i have a very active, way of the will, fearless two-year-old who definitely keeps me on my toes. I am 11 weeks pregnant with my second (due at the end of the year) and am wondering just how much our family dynamic will change when he/she arrives. My boy is such a lover of life! He gives me such joy. Us mommas know though, not all days are peachy keen! and really i think how much am I going to my Father to get new energy? I need not to forget that Jesus fills my soul in order to be able to parent better. He gives me the strength and encouragement, my identity is in Him and Him alone! It is so good be around others who are in the same boat- just make sure to be surrounded near those who uplift and encourage.
Cant wait to buy a copy of this book – thanks for the knowledge, Kathi!
I am that Momma you are talking about!!!! Oh my goodness, our Father was speaking to me while reading this. Thank you for being there for those of us who are struggling with their children. I’ve always heard it was harder for children who have parents that are in ministry. I didn’t know the truths of those words until this year when we accepted a Children’s Pastors position at a church in a neighboring city about an hour and a half away. Our 4 year old son struggled with this and the adaptation to traveling every weekend and him not being the center of our world. It was the hardest 90 days of my parenting. It’s still an issue even after resigning because the stress and pressure became too much. I followed my husband because he truly thought that was His Calling. Through this experience, he found that it wasn’t but I found that it was mine! It’s funny how the Lord works. He is so mysterious and majestic. I would love this book because it is for EVERY stages in parenting. I would love to have it so I can use it whenever I need that extra boost. I would also give the other book to my sister in law who is a single momma struggling to keep custody of her precious babies whom she is a wonderful Mother and Father to. Please pray for her because the Lord is doing some amazing things through her and for her. “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day” really resonated with me and I will at least keep that tucked in my heart. Thank you Renee! I consider you as my friend and LOVE your daily conversations with me through email. God bless you. Who knows, maybe we will get to meet one day! That would make my day! Blessings to you and your family. THANK YOU!
I would absolutely tell someone that I am still a fan of their child. I would love to read this book to help me with my grandkids raising, encourage their moms, and encourage members of my church as an elder’s wife. I would give my daughter a second book as she is attempting to raise a foster daughter whom she wants to adopt. There are so many issues in raising a godly foster child.
Wow…I would love to have this book! I love the “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day” piece of advice.
Despite our best intentions as parents we are all humans that are imperfect and we need to remind ourselves not only to extend grace but to receive it also and not be too hard on ourselves when those “bad days” are more frequent than we’d like them to be. I am a parent of two young boys and just reading this post already has given me hope and encouragement. So, thanks and God bless you!
My favorite piece of advice : don’t judge your parenting on one bad day. I would love to win this book! I would give the second copy to my good friend who lets me share my bad mommy moments and shares hers right back.
Thank you for the verses Psalm 25:1-3. It was just what we needed to read. We are in the midst of a battle and are so thankful that we can put our trust in God. Would appreciate your prayers.
If I won, I would give the book to my sisiter-in-law. The picture on the front of the book reminds me of when my kids tried that ~ minus the helmet…. Thankfully, my son had no lasting damage.
I learned from Kathi that alot moms going through same things and the me too advice hit close to home. When you think you are alone in this mom job and you tell a friend or even a coworker your difficulties, it’s amazing how those two words me too can help lift the weight off your shoulders and help you feel not alone. I would give the second copy to my friend shana because she’s always helped me feel better about my parenting and gives good advice to help me with my kids.
Thank you for sharing about this book, I would love to have it and share with a young mother who I am mentoring. I love all of Kathi’s suggestions….finding and identifying the good that we see in their child along with the ‘me too’ and our hope is always in The Lord. Thank you Kathi for writing and Renee for posting!
I loved Kathi reminding us “Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” It is so easy to do that. I have done that and I know that my sister has done that as well. Especially since she has eight children. It can seem like a never ending struggle to get them all to cooperate.
Another thing I appreciated about Kathi’s talk with the “Me Too” comment. So many times moms feel like they are alone and that it is only their child(ren) who act out at the store, or at church. They have the only children who talk back and refuse to do their chores, but to hear from another that “I’ve been there”, can be so helpful.
I am a single mom of a 16 year old son. He is the joy of my life and I am so thankful for him.
I have the opportunity to mentor moms of younger children. I would love to see them all receive this book. I would give it to one of them, whomever the Lord lays on my heart, or to my sister with her 8 children.
Thank you for your words of encouragement.
I look forward to reading this book. I’m the mom of 3 girls and with my oldest turning 12 this month, I just feel alone and like I’m failing. I had no idea how painful it would be to have her tell me little white lies, declare she doesn’t really want me chaperoning things anymore and just needing to let go of making choices for her even though I know she is going to find pain in the choices she makes. Right now, all my friends are moms of younger kids and I feel alone. I know I’m not. I just feel that way right now and sometimes it’s hard to overcome the feelings of failure. I think I’ll get myself a copy of this book because I’m really in need of help and hope.
Each day is a challenge with our 9-year-old who wants to run the world, not to mention our home and family! Somehow, parenting was easy and straight-forward before I became one. Now all my attempts at fair and loving discipline aren’t yielding the results they are “supposed to!” She’s angry, violent, sassy, rebellious… and still the most creative kid I know, and I can’t keep from loving her even in the midst of the frustration! I’m hungry for help and support on this journey… Our 3-year-old is much more responsive to our direction. If I were to win, I’d gift the 2nd book to my friend and co-worker Nicole, who is over her head juggling her 3 kids, one who has special needs. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, as always!
The point that I needed is to put my faith & hope in my Shepherd, rather than my sheep. If my hope is in children, then I am a slave to shame. There is no shame in Christ. I need this encouragement right now as we raise 2 teens and a tween. I would share the 2 book with my friend of four kids. Thanks for sharing this resource & this opportunity to win 🙂
Would love to win this book! It is so hard to keep our eyes on the Shepherd when our sheep have wandered off. So thankful he leaves the 99 and searches for the 1 who is lost!
Thanks,
Vicki
I need to remember not to judge myself by one bad parenting day. The same way I still love my kids when they have bad days, so does our Father still love us. 🙂 I would share the second book with one of my MOPS moms who stays at home and has some tough days – and hopefully the book would get passed around the group!
Would love to win a copy of this book to pass along to my son & daughter-in-law who are just beginning their family. Wish I’d had more Christian resources available while raising my sons, and can only thank God for the fine men they have become. Somehow, He took my mess-ups, cleaned them up, wrapped them in love, and guided all of us down the right path.
Sounds like a GREAT book!
I’m in desperate need of Godly advice!
Being a single mom can be very lonely, challenging, and leaves me exhausted making me wonder if I’m doing this “parenting” right.
I need all the encouraging I can get because at times I find myself dealing with a great amount of guilt due to our current situation.
All the advice is great! I like this : “Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God. I’m not a mom yet, but moms with children are in my life. I plan on sharing truths from the book and give a book away to a niece.
Oh my goodness! This could not have come at a better time for me! Just this morning, I said, ‘I just cannot do this anymore!’ My child is 32, with 2 little ones of her own, 3 months ago my husband and I became legal guardians for our grand daughters! This has been one of the toughest things I have ever done. Just reading all Kathi has said has made me realize there has to be a silver lining in all of this mess! I know that God is working, but when we go on day after day, it is so very hard to keep on keeping on…. I not only need this book, I need the friend who says ‘me too’! Thank you for this post and for speaking to me! I would love to win this book, I am serious need of knowing what to do or what to say to my adult child!
wow! Isnt it amazing how much we all need encouragement! My husband and I are on a road trip and yesterday we were visiting friends. The mom is a young woman like a daughter to me and she is struggling. I told her that we all struggle and there is something about knowing that other moms have their problems. “Me too” is a real encouragement when you feel that you are the only one with problems.l I think that she would enjoy reading this book. My desire is to be there for these young women to help and encourage them to keep on knowing that the Lord will always be only a prayer away. This particular young woman was so thankful that I was willing to be transparent, that I was willing to tell her about my mistakes with my children and my feeling of inadequacy when my children were young and there was constant commotion. It is definitely something that we as older women can do to be there for these precious young women. Thank you for your care in writing this book!
There hasn’t been much that Kathi has shared that didn’t hit home for me. I have a handful of her books that carried my family through a rough spell a few years ago. This one needs to be next now that my four little ones are doing circles around me.
Reminding myself that I’m not alone, is hard for me. Especially when I turn to other moms for help and get a blank stare and a shrugging of the shoulders, as if they were saying, “sorry my kid’s perfect, can’t help ya”.
I would love to add this book to my reference section. I know it would help me and my family immensely.
I would share a copy with my friend Lauren. She is a friend and recent mom. We safely and comfortably text each other all our daily kid woes, from which cartoon we are watching to what color boogers are streaming out of our child’s nose.
I learned and shared on Facebook don’t think you’re a bad parent by making one mistske! I also think the encouragement would be good as we are going through a lot with our oldest daughter!!!
“Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day.” We are so quick to generalize on one bad day or forget all the positives in each day, that one moment can ruin a day.
I would like to win the book for parenting help now for my toddler and hopefully, some things to keep in mind for the future. I would like to share the books with my mom friends that need the ultimate hope of the Savior.
I have boys of all ages and a daughter 26 married, 23 still at home, 17 at home 9 and then 8 and boy could i use this uplifting encouragement.
🙂
Kim
I love the advice of confiding in a friend who can point out the good stuff to you while you’re only seeing the delinquent. I’d give the 2nd copy to a friend going through a similar thing.
Don’t judge your parenting on one bad day. That’s a great reminder. Thank you for a chance, I would give the second copy to my sister because she sometimes feels like she has bad parenting skills. Please pray for my sister Jenna, to have peace and satisfaction in everyday parenting, Amen.
I love that Kathy reminds us that God is bigger than our parenting AND our children’s choices. I’m a mom of 4 children, and I always felt like I was a great mom, until number 3 came along….from the time he first crawled out of his crib at 14 months (he’s 4 now), he has turned my world upside down and made me strongly question whether or not I am “a good mom”! It’s also humbled me and changed my worldview on parenting. I no longer see a mom with a child that is strong-willed and automatically assume mom is missing something on the mom front (which I humbly admit that I had to repent of!) I want to read Kathi’s book for myself, but I’m also a MOPS coordinator and I would love a copy to give to another mom in my group!
I would love to read this book. I am constantly feeling like a failure for things my child has done and I always wonder what I could have done better in raising them to change things. A lot of sleepless nights.
I always feel like I’m the only mom going through some of the things with my kids. But if I can just remember that I’m not alone thay will help
3.“Don’t put your faith in the sheep, put it in the Shepherd.” We base the outcome of our lives on the actions of our children. Wrong. Our hope is only in God.
Exactly! Thanks for the opportunity.
It is so difficult to not let your child’s poor choices be a reflection of your parenting ability. This is a prayer that I never cease to ask for His understanding, and it is quite a challenge for me.
I’d like to win this book because I know my children are little sinners who will not always make the right choices and I need all the wisdom I can get to raise them well. I’d give my extra copy to my good friend who is always willing to watch my kids when I need it.
We are all in this together and don’t judge one day in your parenting journey, I see that often amongst our moms group. I love to read this and share with a friend.
I love the words “being present over perfect”. I am a bit of a perfectionist, and it can certainly become a problem. I want to be present with my children instead of just having it all picture perfect.
I would love to win a copy of this book. I have a couple friends in mind that I would love to share it with, the biggest set back is that those two friends do not enjoy reading. 🙁 I may have to come up with another, or add it to our church library.
Thanks for the great advice and encouragement you offer daily.
So many parents need to read this book.
I need to read this book- I am struggling with the belief that if I do this, and this and this and some of this, my kids will grow up great, never leave church, always love and serve God, and I am learning that is not the case. The whisper of me too is so powerful to me. I have felt like a failure so much because I don’t have the perfect family and so many people seem to have it all together and all the answers. I feel alone in our struggles. I have a friend who is divorced and is struggling with the behavior of her child from her first marriage and gained two more little ones in a new marriage. I would love to bless her in this walk that she is experiencing right now.
Thank you for the thoughts shared above, so helpful!
Skimmed through some of the comments – there are so many challenges to life! I have a friend going through the “I must be a bad Mom…” right now & will share the e-mail with her. Would love to win this, read it as a way to encourage others, then pass it along! Thanks so much for this opportunity!
I have two adult children — one is 23, pregnant, not married, lives at home with me part-time and still with her boyfriend (who is not good to her at all) the other part and a 19 year old son who has not quite made his way to adulthood yet. I pray daily that they both will come to know Jesus as their savior. I did use to blame myself and my mistakes for the way my kids would act and I now know better………the devil took hold of them and is holding on tight. I would love to see what this book could offer to me; I am always looking for further inspiration and ways to pray over my “babies”. I would also give the second book to my sister who is dealing with similar issues. All the time God is good and He nor I will ever quit!!
I would love to win this book. I would give the second book to my sister who is a new mom and helping other moms through the journey. I think this book is going to guide and show moms where they have started to fall for lies like “if I pray my child will turn out ok”- Definitely pray and keep praying, but suffering is a part of everyone’s journey more or less. A hard truth for mother’s to grasp and let it resonate in their soul. God is good!!!
I have two adult children, one is struggling in her christian life, and one has denounced Jesus as his Lord and Savior. I believe that God still loves my children and that He is pursuing their hearts. I would like a book for myself and one for my daughter who is a mom of an infant and toddler. I became a prodigal as a teenager and turned back to the Lord when I was 26. I am so grateful for my mother’s prayers and prayers of others..no one gave up one me. I will not give up on my children.
How very needed this book is, from the sheer number of responses to your post indicates ! Wow! How much as parents we need to be reminded that
“When our hope is in our kids, we are slaves to shame, but when we put our hope in God there is no shame.”
As a parent of 2 children, who are not walking with God right now, how often I have felt that shame, and how quick the enemy is to load that shame onto me. Thank you for this important reminder, that when I put my hope in God I don’t have to carry that shame, that at times has been so very very heavy. I have a couple of close friends I would love to share these books with, after I have read it myself !
I would share it’s encouragement and wisdom with my 8 grand children
I’d love the book and frequently need encouragement and support. If I were to win a copy would go to my friend Tammy M who is walking a journey similar to mine.