I was completely blindsided. I’d been called into a meeting at my church with another women in leadership who was upset with me. She’d been upset with me for months, but I had just found out about it.
Someone had told her I didn’t agree with the way she was leading. But that wasn’t at all what I’d said – months before – in a meeting with several other leaders. I had simply been asked my opinion about a situation and I shared my thoughts and they weren’t directly about her at all. And I was so sad that I was just being asked about it, several months later.
I was hurt. She was hurt. We both volunteered countless hours in ministry, pouring our hearts and our lives into women in our church. All the while, we were on the same team and assumed we both fully supported one another. But now the trust we had built for years was coming unraveled.
It was a mess. I was a mess.
I was done. I decided I wasn’t strong enough. Wasn’t resilient enough. And I was exhausted from trying.
That afternoon I went home and cried. Told God I was ready to call it quits. Laying my head down on my desk, I said I couldn’t do it anymore.
But… {my heart whispered} there was more to it… “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
I knew in that moment if I was willing to die to myself and completely rely on Christ in Me I could experience resurrection power.
I could walk away from God’s calling on my life or I could allow Jesus to live HIS life through me.
I could die to my desire to protect myself from getting hurt again and choose to tap into His power by relying on the strength of His Spirit in me .
I wasn’t enough … wasn’t strong enough, resilient enough, or humble enough. But Christ in me was more than enough.
In my P31 devotion today, I talked about how we can turn away from our feelings of defeat and doubt by living in the Light of God’s Truth. And here is one of the most important truths:
Jesus did not die on the cross just to get us out of hell and into heaven. He died on the cross to get Himself out of heaven and into us! That is resurrection life – and the very place where we get our enough!
If you have been crucified with Christ, you no longer live, but Christ lives in you!! The life you now live in the body, you can choose to live by faith in the Son of God, who loved you and gave himself for you.”
When you feel inadequate, remember God says: You are CHOSEN.
“‘You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he’” (Isa. 43:10).
When you feel afraid, remember God says: You are REDEEMED.
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine” (Isa. 43:1).
When you feel unloved, God says: You are LOVED.
“You are precious and honored in my sight, and . . . I love you” (Isa. 43:4).
When you feel forgotten, God says: You are REMEMBERED.
“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” (Isa. 49:16).
When you feel insecure, God says: You are SECURE.
“Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders” (Deut. 33:12).
When you feel unable or unstable, God says: You are ABLE.
“The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights” (Hab. 3:19).
When you feel worthless, God says: You are CALLED.
“Youare a chosen [woman], a royal [priest], a holy [daughter], God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Pet. 2:9).
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Thank you I really needed this. This really encouraged me.
Thank you for reminding me my place and who I now am. Me and my Daughter have had a strained relationship for long as I can remember. I had a strained relationship with my mom and a hard raising as well as my daughter. In early life God chose me and I excepted not without struggles and scars that were passed on to my daughter. I have tried to show her a better way but yet to now have my past thrown in my face and much hate towards me. I could go on for a long time as to the when and how’s but no time for a book and the missed spelled words lol. Point is we all have struggles in growing up we all see them in horrible ways that others don’t I pray and ask for prayer that someday before it is to late that our generations would stop passing blame except responsibility. Brake the chain and teach love. If the younger generations would stop and listen to our elders a lot would be learned. I pray one day my daughter would become whole before hurting her own children mentally. I struggle because I never felt whole with my mother or good enough no father my father was the one that chose me from above but I still find myself trying to measure up and having to remind myself I don’t have to he loves me no matter of my past or future to keep my head up knees down . When I die someday I won’t him to say you done well my good and faith child ! Please pray for me and my daughter for she is in a very dangerous place .
I would love to win this book. Your post is something I need to hear. I am struggling with self worth etc.
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