Satan loves when we feel inadequate and insecure. He’s good at getting us to believe we’re not good enough and don’t have what it takes to be used by God.
But we don’t have to let him trash us the way he does – and we definitely don’t need to keep agreeing with his lies and trashing ourselves.
In my P31 devotion today – How to Stop Trashing Yourself – I share how I caught myself trashing my confidence one day, and how God challenged me to stop throwing away all that is mine in Christ – by believing and living in the truth of His thoughts about me.
Have you ever been there? If so, I’ve got a short video message I created for Confident Heart book study that will equip and empower you to stop talking trash and start talking truth to your heart:
{Download FREE Confident Heart “Don’t Throw Away Your Confidence” printable.}
A Diet of a Different Kind!
Lose the weight of self-doubt by joining over 40,000 other women who have gone on my FREE 7-Day Doubt Diet. Filled with daily insights, powerful promises and scripture-based prayers, you will receive a week’s worth of life-changing Confident Heart devotions.Sign up here
“Confidence Boost” Giveaway:
Today I’m giving away a copy of my book, “A Confident Heart” along with my message “Don’t Throw Away Your Confidence” on CD and a Starbucks gift card! To enter, click “share your thoughts” below this post and let me know why you’d like to win the “Confidence Boost” gift pak.
Receive more life-changing perspectives and powerful promises
from God’s Word each day on my Confident Heart Facebook page!
And the WINNER is…. Julie {announced September 19, 2012}
I would like to win a copy of this book so that I can share the encouraging words inside it with the other ladies at my church.
Wow! What powerful stories have been shared here in the comments. Yes, we need to be confident in who God created us to be despite our disappointments in life. I have written an ebook about that too called “The Christian’s Guide to Thriving Despite Life’s Hurts: 9 Powerful Action STeps for Renewing your HOpe.” We are definitely on the same page and I am so glad that I found your site. Many blessings on your ministry here.
I have lost my husband, my soul mate, to cancer. There are so many things that he took care of that I did not realize how I would have to step in and take care of everything myself. I am overwhelmed. I have no confidence that I can do it all and keep my head up and heart right with Christ. I get the Prov. 31 everyday and that has helped me. So have lost my parents and my husband all in a short period of time and I was caretaker for all of them. I can’t figure out what normal is anymore. I often feel lost in my own grief. Thank you for all you do.
This is the first time i visit your blog I felt God has spoken to me while listening to the message and reading the scripture verses in the area of self conficence. I want to learn how to raise confident daughters. I was not raised with confidence and don’t want to continue the cycle for lack of knowledge like mother did I know that she did the best she could when raising the family by her self with no doubt in my hart and I’am thankful for her. I thank God for women like you that enrich other woman’s lives. What a beautiful ministry!!
Thank you so much for the reminder. I feel that I live everyday full of lies and doubt that I hear from Satan. It’s so hard to have that confidence in Christ when I hear those thoughts and words everyday. I have struggled with major depression and going through a deep dark pit that you can’t seem to crawl out of. I’m going to try to write down all thoses doubts or lies that I am told and “throw” them away. I really need to get back more in Gods word to fill all thoses lies with truths. I am definitely going to see if my church library has your book but Im going to try to get a copy of it somehow. Thanks for the insight and encouragement it was something i needed to hear to day. I hear over and over again your a failure and your never going to change and it keeps bringing me to that dark pit. I’m going to throw that away and fill it with GOds word!
I have always thought less of myself than I should, I alwayss thought everyone was either prettier, smarter, just plain better than me.
I have had people all in my life to tell me I would never amount to anything that I was stupid, and I couldn’t ever do anything so I started believing that. THen I saw the 7-day day doubt diet and I read the first chapter of “A Confident Heart” and within day I could tell a difference in the way I felt about myself. So I started planning a Bible study to share with my friends how to be self confident in Jesus and I really could use the book to help with the Bible study.
I get so frustrated when I let Satan’s voice overpower God’s. I know God has soverignty, but I give Satan way too much room. He has taken a lot of ground in the past year, but I have vowed to get it back and continue on my journey into the Promised Land.
Your words this morning were a touch from God. He often touches my hurting heart with a devotional that speaks right to my need. As an older woman with hormonal issues, I find myselt being attacked by Satan almost daily with guilt and regrets. I so long for a ‘do over’ and know that can’t happen. While I am confident in God and His forgiveness, I have little confidence in myself. I am very affected by what other people think and while I’ve always been sensitive, this chemical imbalance leaves me worse than thin skinned……..some days I feel as though I have no skin. I am weary of the battle and the constant self-centeredness. I would like to feel ‘healthy’ again so that as I press on, I can do so with my mind and attention on Him and not myself.
Hi.
I came across your site and just know Jesus led me here. I am having trouble with my confidence. I lost my oldest daughter and then10 months later my husband also went home with Jesus.
I am having trouble with being confident in my every day. I know Jesus is walking with me but I feel so alone and second guess myself most of the time.I want to be confident in myself and my decisions as God is with me. Thank you..
I am currently leading a Bible study of “A Confident Heart!” Your book and the message in it inspired me to step out in faith and teach this class, though I’ve never taught a study in my life! God was preparing me as I went through the online study last January to teach other women His Truth and tell them my story! I am so blessed by your ministry and feel like this book was one of the catalysts that lead me to discovering God’s calling on my life.
My friend recommended I should check out this book. My husband recently accepted a job and moved us and our 18 month old to a small town is northern Saskatchewan, Canada… I’ve been struggling with the move. Up until recently we had lived close to both of our families and a large church family. I worked outside the home while grandparents took turn babysitting the first and only grandchild. I loved our home and our community and felt like I was contributing to our household, church and community. When we decided that the best employment opportunity for him involved moving, we had 30 days to do it. It has been an emotional roller coaster. I’m a stay at home mom, which I love. But struggle with being away from family and a strong church family. I feel like, after working and being our primary financial contributor for the past 10 years, that now I’m a burden. I know this isn’t the case. In fact my husband and I have discussed it multiple times that the biggest help to our finances is to be the stay at home mom. But I still feel guilty. I miss home, our families and church. I feel disconnected, especially with understanding “why I’m in this place.” I’m constantly doubting my abilities to adapt to our new surrounding and wonder if I’ll ever make friends: what do I have to offer them? I feel like I have little to no worth or value.
As I read all the comments, so many people need to receive your book more than I do. But I will share my story and my dream. First I was having an axioms moment when I heard about your book on the radio. It was like God was speaking to me. My heart calmed and I felt like he was telling me there is something more he wants from me. I’ve been searching for a book study to do with our small church. I feel that your book the Confident Heart is the book I should use. This is about more than me, it’s what other’s in my church need As well. I lost my Mom suddenly 1and 1/2 years ago. I am a teacher who has taught 32 years but 24 in the public system. I experienced abuse as a child, which I ran from. I have had to travel down the painful path to heal and grieve what never was. God has sent an amazing pastor to our church to counsel many of us. Another member of our church has lost his job and lost health benefits for his family, yet is being led into ministry. He has no idea how he can provide for his family yet he serves our chuch with a passion and commitment that God will provide. Our church can’t afford to bring him on full time or give him health benefits. So much good is waiting to happen at our church, yet we need new members since our congregation is getting older. Is God asking me to lead the people in our church is the studies you offer thru your books. Will that provide opportunities for others in our small town community to draw closer to God? As I find my career as a teacher winding down, is God leading me to teach in other ways? God is not only providing me with personal healing but pushing me in a new direction. I will wait and be attentive to his slow gentle push, where ever it may lead me. Always remember it is through our pain that he leads us. May God use us all to our fullest potential! It is very hard to change the voice within us from our childhood programing yet before us lies many oppurtunies to reach out and touch others. Thank you for sharing your story in a moment when I most needed to hear it. Now help me share mine with anyone else who needs to know God loves us even when we feel unloved.
The tears keep streaming down my cheeks. I don’t understand what released them from their well. I simply wanted to pick a women’s study group at my church. Your book “a confident heart” was the one I chose. When I visited your website to acquaint myself with your book; an unknown dam of tears burst forth from my heart. I am inferior. I am valuable because God says so. But I recognize that I am inferior. Is this a contradiction? I ache for God to heal my heart. I’m glad I chose your study. I need heart knowledge. Not more head knowledge. Thank you.
I would love to win the “Confidence Boost” gift pak because I have recently been called to share my own personal story in women’s ministry. My past includes things that I am not very proud of and I am wonder how I am going to gain the confidence to go before people and give away my deepest secrets. I know God is calling me into the ministry to share His glory from my shame and infidelity. I am choosing to obey even though I am shaking in my boots. This past week I have made it my goal to share my story with one new person each day. So far, my story has shocked people and my confidence to go on, but I am putting my faith in God that this is where He wants me. This gift pak would help me personally and as a resource as I am just starting out in my speaking and writing.
I work with with women who have had their children removed by Child Protective Services for various reasons. So many of them have just made a bad choice and do not see their strength, beauty and light. I need this to help them and myself see what the Lord has bestowed on us and make him proud of his children. Thank you for the work you do!
I think we all need to be reminded of this on occasion. Good message!
Being more confident in Christ can only help me be more of Christ to others.
I would love to read your book. It seems your book and message have been pursuing me for months, but I have neglected to respond. A few months ago, I missed the free Kindle version download day by about 3 hours. 🙁 Today, I was clicking through your resources because I LOVED your prayer for husbands. I read your article about “Becoming the Real Me.” You were 32 and facing the fact that you didn’t really know who God created you to be, and I’m 43 and facing that fact. I’ve been trying for a year to work through my people pleasing and dig down to find the real me. I know it is exactly what God wants me to do, but it’s so tiring and discouraging at times. I know God has a plan for me, and I know he wants to do something new in me. I am eager to learn even more how to listen to his voice and obey.
Renee, I am reading your book and praying God will at last free me from my life long battle with my lacking self confidence. Everything you write hits home and I am beyond hopeless. My family is supportive and I don’t think they are lying to me when they try to build me up, but I’ve been torn down by so many who didn’t care, how do I know the rest of the world doesn’t feel the same?
I have struggled with confidence all my life. Although my marriage is a blessed one, I know my self-doubt is heartbreaking for my husband. I want to be a better example to my two young boys of what a confident woman in Christ is. Thank you for sharing your devotion on P31 to reveal this ugly truth that so many women are battling Satan on.
I was just thinking to myself of things that I am passionate about and ways I could implement some change for good and I found myself waring within myself as if I was a crazy lady lol. I then decided to start reading devotions to clear my mind of the war that was plaguing my brain and found this email. I am definitely could use a confidence boost through Jesus in any way it may come. Have a blessed day ladies! In Jesus’ name, Amen.
This book has been a big help. I would love to pass it on to my sister, but neither of us can afford to buy it right now and I am not ready to get rid of my copy (would if lived in same state). I still need all the help I can get. God is doing a work, but takes time to undo almost 40 years worth.
I would love to win the confidence boost pak because after reading today’s devotional about trash and truth I am learning there is more to all these feelings. The quiz was a rude awakening. I teach the youth on Sundays and feel “why would they listen to me?”. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one feeling this way. I thought those negative thoughts whispers where caused by my past. I have a career but feel like I have nothing that others are better than me. After experiencing lack of being loved, abuse, abandonment, becoming a single parent I mean what else can I feel??!! I would love it if such a pak could help me out. I have so many ideas but they are stopped by ” no one is going to listen, you are going to make a fool of yourself, etc..
Help me God Almighty to overcome all these insecurities and allow me to become the woman you have created me to be. In Jesus name Amen
keep fighting! I too have experienced childhood abuse that taints the voice in my head. I have read extensively about Shame and abandonment. I didn’t know what Grace meant. But I know God has pushed me to travel down the painful path to heal. He is with you too because he has greater purpose for you! Read Henry clouds books and Damaged Emotions. Look to the people God has placed in your life, they are there to help you. As you are here to share your story to lead others through their experiences. May you feel God’s blessings!
I loved your book A Confident Heart and would love to win a copy to give away. I’m speaking at a local moms group in a couple of months and would love to be able to give away a copy of your book A Confident Heart or Lysa’s Made to Crave (I’m speaking on Healthy Self image) and both books were life changing!
Bridget – I have extra copies of Made To Crave I’d love to send to you whether your name gets pulling in the drawing. If you see this, email [email protected] and share our conversation here so my assistant will know what to do :0)
I have already ordered the book today. Just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed your devotion today on Proverbs 31 Ministries, it hit home. Thanks for allowing me to receive it and also share with some of my friends. God bless you and you Ministry.
I need a confidence boost because I’ve spent most of my life struggling with worthlessness, hopelessness, and everything else that comes with it, because of the various abuses that happened to me as a child. Sometimes I fall back into old patterns of thought, but everyday I’m learning more and more about who I am in Christ. It’s so awesome!
I want to win to give to my daughter. She needs to be encouraged to have confidence in herself.
Well i had the though” I WILL NOT WIN ANY WAY WHY COMMENT…”But guess what … i wrote it on a piece of paper and through it away…i guess it is working…and here is my comment… “PLEASE PICK ME…”
I’d love to win this pack. My husband has noticed/tried to help me with my lack of confidence, but he can only help so much. I still struggle with doubting myself about EVERYTHING, and that has led to keeping too much clutter, as well as impacting other areas of my life. I’ve been wanting your book, but money is a bit tight right now, so I’d love the chance to win it. I’ve been greatly encouraged by your devotionals through Proverbs 31 Ministries. 🙂
Reading Chapter 1 of your book really struck a cord with me! It could have been me standing in front of the mirror; your story sounds so much like mine when it comes to self-doubt. I’d love to receive your book and that Starbucks gift card! 🙂 God’s Blessings on you, Renee!
I like so many women, am struggling with being a single mother of 3 daughters, (teenagers!), trying to just get by financially each and every month, while working at home, taking care of my 88 year old Father, and learning, trusting and seeking out God’s plan for me and the ones that I love. I am attending a weekly Bible Study by Beth Moore, and when I’m there, I’m there…but when I leave, man oh man, does the dark one jump into my head! I need more confidence…and a Starbucks card would be great too…;}
I would like to win this to give to my adult daughter. Her husband is chipping away at her self-confidence through emotional abuse and it seems to be filtering through all areas of her life. Perhaps this book could help her see the treasure that she is.
Blessings!!!
I AM A MISSIONARY IN GUINEA BUT AM IN THE US FOR SOME HEALTH CARE ISSUES. I AM RE READING THE BOOK AND LOOKING AT ALOT OF THE PROMISES DURING THIS TIME OF WAITING FOR RESULTS FOR TESTING FOR CANCER. I LOVE HOW EACH TIME I READ THE BOOK I GET MORE AND MORE FROM IT….THIS IS TIME 3!
I have some health issues that I try to cope with everyday but when I also look at my health and being overweight I just get so mad. I have had confidence in the past, when I felt better, but now right now. I really need a confidence boost.
Thanks for all you do.
Shiela in Colorado
I would really like to see if this can work for me, despite the thought at this moment that it can not be. I do feel the good intention to become what the Lord’s wants of me…but really I have not found what can. I like the strong biblical perspective to have a change. I know that much to make sure to seek truth for answers in my life. Thank you for the opportunity to have resources so relevant to women and leading to find answers in Christ.
I’d love to win this because it is something I struggle w/ daily.
family74014 at gmail dot com
I would like a confidence boost because I struggle constantly with self-doubt. I’m always feeling like I’m not good enough for my husband, not good enough for God, not good enough for my employer, my church, ect.. I know they are lies, but it’s hard to shut them off. I feel like I have to do everything for everyone and I fail miserably. The truth we are all good enogh in God’s eyes. It’s just right now my stress level is very high and my confidence level is very low.
Thaks Renee for this very timely message!!!
Hi Renee, I received a message from Melissa and in the contents, there was mention of your book A Confident Heart. I decided to download the first chapter and I have to say, as soon as I started reading it, I started crying..and since I was at work, I had to try and hold those tears in, didn’t want others seeing/hearing. I certainly am not telling you simply to win something, I am sharing this with you because just from reading such a short passage, in how it truly touched me because I could relate to absolutely everything you had said in the chapter. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just completely felt an instant connection and I was feeling all these emotions that just came flooding out and it was actually overwhelming. I had thoughts of when I was a childhood and how horrible it was and then those thoughts would lead me to more thoughts of when I was in a unlovable marriage and then it hit me – I am still living in the past and constantly beating myself up. I grew up with my parents telling me that I was stupid and wouldn’t amount to anything, then I married a man who pretty much did the same thing and when I think about it, those words sincerely damage a person inside and out and I don’t want to live that way anymore. I want you to know and anybody else who happens to read this that it is very difficult for me to type all this and post it, knowing that others will read. I have just recently re-dedicated my life to the Lord after finding myself lost for quite some time and even though some days are awesome, there are days when I just struggle. I just want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this first chapter and giving me hope. If it weren’t for people like you and all the others at Proverbs31, the world would be an even colder place. Thank you.
Thank you for your willingness to share openly what you would rather keep hidden. I appreciate it and I know it will help others know they are not alone. May God heal you, redeem your past and bless you with His truth. You are beautiful and valued and cherished in His sight.
Thank you for such kind words. After reading your original post, it amazes me how I start my day praying for guidance and direction and just seriously looking for some answer wondering if God ever hears me, especially on days like today where it is hard to deal with it all, but then all of a sudden I’m led to an area where I read about this book and can actually download the first two chapters which truly touched my heart when I needed it most – I know that God hears me and waits for the opportunity to provide me what I need to pull myself through the day…but mostly I am thankful, so thankful that I’m not alone!! Reading others posts, I have come to realize I can relate to each one of these women. Thank you all for sharing your inside…
So, I shared with a friend a couple days ago that I have been struggling with depression again. I usually don’t let anyone know (though it’s hard to hide from my husband 🙂 ). I let her in to my world and asked for her prayers. She was so gracious. She listened and prayed and suggested that I take a sheet I paper and write down all the lies I am believing. Then, through that same pen ask God to give me His response and His truth to write down next to those lies. I put off doing it. Today while I was making breakfast my husband asked how I was doing. The tears started flowing as I proceeded to tell him all the ways I was currently beating myself up. After he left for work I decided to try out my friends suggestion. I began writing the lies…I don’t measure up, I’m a failure, I’ll never change, I can’t do this, if only I were different… Then I paused and asked for God to speak His truth into my heart and mind… You are my daughter, I created you for a purpose. You are complete in My Son. In your weakness I am strong. I am at work in you. I have called and equipped you…
I tried to believe the truth and reject the lies. I moved on to check my email. God wasn’t done yet. I knew this instantly as I opened an email and read the title of my Proverbs 31 devotion- How To Stop Trashing Yourself. Really God? Really? You heard me!?! Why do I doubt? Oh thank You God. You know how much I needed his today. Thank You. Thank You God. And thank you Proverbs 31 Ministries.