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“What a [woman] desires is unfailing love …” Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)
I had everything I wanted yet felt empty and confused.
My life was full of relationships and accomplishments I’d worked hard to gain, but none could fill or fulfill me.
Frustrated by my aching emptiness, tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our future plans had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed.
I had been crazy about him — a little too crazy.
Like the time a friend mentioned my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so Friday afternoon I parked by his office and waited for him to leave.
We both “happened” to be at the same fast food restaurant, at the same time and bumped into each other. After getting my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping he’d see me, realize he couldn’t live without me and signal to pull over so we could talk.
Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can guess, he never stopped. I was hopeless and humiliated…
A few weeks later, I was taking a walk around my college campus. My eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends and professors — hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.
Although I was graduating soon, had a few great job offers and achieved success in many ways, my heart still felt restless. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was all that I had never enough?
A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other. I sensed God answering me.
Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then God whispered into my soul: You’ll never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you’re looking for.
The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true. I’d been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear losing.
Honestly, it was hard to see how God’s love could fill the emptiness in my heart. It took time, but I came to understand that God created me with that need for fulfillment so He could meet it.
Proverbs 19:22a, says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”
The word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means: to greatly long for, deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned over 30 times in the Bible, and not once is it in reference to a person. It is only attributed to God.
Could it be that God gave us a desire for unfailing love, because He knew it could lead us back to Him?
If today’s post resonated with you, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!
Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live!
Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day!
ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
Share your thoughts in the comments below to WIN one of 5 copies of my A Confident Heart Devotional or a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for you or a friend. Be sure to let us know which book you’d like to win!
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I would love a copy of the Confident Heart devotional. I have been working on finding my identity in Christ.
I just got out of a 7 1/2 year relationship with a non-christian who was very manipulating. He said he was a Christian when we first started dating. We even went to church in the beginning. I fell in love with him. He took take me on lots of trips and paid for everything. He bought me clothes and all kinds of things. It seemed that he was all about me but it really was all about him and what he wanted. He started asking me to go places and do things I had no business doing as a Christian. He would manipulate me to get what he wanted. I followed him down a path that was far away from God and what He wants for me. I even moved in with him on the promise of marriage down the road. For a long time I couldn’t see how he controlled me but something inside of me kept telling me something was wrong. It was the spirit of God calling me back to Him. I started going to church again because I knew I didn’t have the strength to get away from my boyfriend on my own. He even started coming to church with me but I kept getting to convicted that I needed to make things right and be obedient to God so I literally packed up my stuff and sneaked out. I am still struggling greatly. My loving Christian daughter sent my an email about The Things We Do For Love. What a blessing to me. I need to be in the center of God’s unconditional love and hope to win a copy of ‘A Confident Heart’. Thanks!
I wanted to receive that unconditional love from my husband for many years until one day he told me, ” Sweetheart, I can’t be God for you.” It made me realize that I was placing expectations on him that only God could fill and fulfill. That was a turning point to a more joy, peace and grace filled marriage.
I was really touched by today’s devotion. I need God’s unfailing love to be all that I need. I would really like to win A Confident Heart. I am a single mom going to college for the second time. Life has been full of issues and I know this book would help guide me to strength and hope. Thanks.
Good Morning Ms. Swope,
I read your devotional on the P31 website and it pierced right through my heart. I recently attended a retreat at my church and the Lord met me there. I realized in that moment how much I sought after the approval and affirmation of others. My heart longed to be loved by a other human being but then the Lord reminded me about his unconditional love. Thank you for letting God use you.
I would like to be placed in the drawing for the devotional!
I would love to read the Confident Heart Devotional. With life’s obstacles, I don’t always trust and believe with ALL my heart that God truly LOVES me or that He is there for me. I know that He does unconditionally love me, but I find myself doubting at times and wondering certain things. I find myself asking why all the time. I also put a lot of stress on my husband to fulfill that need for love or the emptiness my heart feels. My expectations are only ones that God can fulfill. I lived in a home where I felt unloved and neglected on a daily basis. I noticed over the years, I was searching for someone anyone to fulfill that need for love. The wrong people usually entered my life. I also let what others say make me feel like a failure as a homemaker, mom, and a wife. I have many insecurities and no confidence. I need a little inspiration to get back to reality . . . to understand God’s love and his plan for my life. God is enough. God is what I thirst for . . . God is what I need the most. He will provide the never-ending unconditional love and approval that I desire.
I love your book, I would love to win the five languages of love singles edition…. I just love reading your books, they are easy to understand. You put things in perspective and I’m just taken in. Your books are a blessing and would love to win them….
My small group of empty nesters is reading your Confident Heart together. We’re scattered from Vermont to Tennessee to New Zealand. We’re on the first chapter now. I’m interested in the devotional you’re giving away
This book covers the topic of my biggest struggle…how to let God, and nothig else, fill the lonely void inside of me. I would LOVE a free copy!
Thank you for the devotional. I appreciate you being so open on making the plan to accidentally bump into your old friend. We’ve all done things like that. It is nice to be reminded that those longings are actually for the one who created us and not to be filled with trivial pursuits and lusts. Something we all have to watch out for on a daily basis.
I just love reading into the insight of your devotionals. My husband and I are trying to help a young couple in the marriage and find some of the things that are said outloud from one of them to the other is words I didn’t think I would ever hear married people say to each other. They go to Church and my prayer is that with alot of praying and ministering they will both finally see that God IS IN CONTROL. Thanks for sharing your heart.
This something that struggle with everyday letting God fully into my life, my everyday, even though I talk and pray to him daily and read his word there is an emptiness not being filled. I am a single mom of 5, recently divorced and so he is who I depend on daily!!! Thanks for thus prayer: Jesus, help me stop searching for fulfillment in anything or anyone but You. Will You satisfy me with Your unfailing love and help me depend on You to meet my deepest desires and needs. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Unconditional love is something I try to give and show to others in my life including a homeless ministry that I started 8 years ago.Until reading this I didn’t realize how much I have looked to other people to fulfill that love that only Christ can. My dad wasn’t in my life for 22 years and I look back and see that was about the time that it started almost Ss if it was a transfer…all while giving my heart to the wrong men….at she 39 I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me for my heart not in what I can do for him and not even for my body as we have remained pure. however its uncomfortable for me to accept but I am learning.thank you for your article to help me learn more about myself and who God is! Thanks.
Thank you so much Renee! I would love to win the devotional to “A Confident Heart”! I have it downloaded to my phone and I think I have highlighted the entire book. I have struggled my whole life with not feeling as if I am good enough, even for God, I had one failed marriage and my (2nd marriage) husband and I have been having “issues”. Your book (and God’s Word) has been a tremendous help to me. I realize that God’s love for me is unfailing and unconditional. It had helped me see and turn away from the lies of the enemy and turn towards the light of God’s truth. I now know that God made me good enough and even if the world doesn’t see it or think that way of me (even my husband) that God’s view of me is the only one that matters because He wonderfully and and fearfully made me. Praise God for working in me and Praise God for working in you to share your hope with me and other woman facing the same struggles. God bless you Renee and thank you again!
Growing up in the church you hear constantly about how God is a God of love and that He will provide for all of our needs. That He will give you the desires of your heart. As you move through high school and college you see your friends meet and marry, buy houses and begin a family-all those things that you have wanted for as long as you can remember. Yet here you are looking up to God as if you say, “When is it my turn?” It’s so hard some times to remember that God has a plan in mind and that He is the one to provide unconditional love. That is a constant struggle that I face. I would love copies of these books to help remind me of those promises and that I need to put my focus on Him.
God is dealing with me about some of these very things right now too.
This word is a wonderful reminder that God is the only one that can love us with a unfailing love. All we have to do is trust and lean on Him. Thank you for sharing this word. I do not have this book yet. It sounds like a good one to go get. I would like either book to share with others.
Grace and peace. I relate to your testimny and struggle with expeccting so much out of our relationship
s. Would love a devotional. Thanks so very much.
I would love a copy of your confident heart devotional. Thanks for all the great devotions, they help start my day and get my focus on God
It’s hard to know how to love when feelings are invalidated and circumstances dictate a warped view of what love really is. So much is stripped from a person leaving them empty and longing. It almost destroyed my marriage. But God is so good and redeemed it with His unfailing and unconditional love.
This devotion couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve felt so tired and detached from everything lately. Your daily emails are very encouraging and more times than not they have come just when I need them. I would love to win either of the books; the confident heart for myself or The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for my sister. It would be fun to bless my sister with this book!