It was rainy and cold here Tuesday. Aster discovered the raindrops and knelt beside our back door to watch them trickle down the window and puddle on our porch. It was so, so sweet to watch her as she watched them for the first time.
I thought about the day we met Hagere. I couldn’t believe it had been a month that we returned from Ethiopia with Aster, and just two days before that we drove down the dusty, bumpy roads of Addis to meet her birth mom. It was a day I had prayed for and yet a day I was very nervous about.
I wondered what I should say or ask her. What would Aster want to know?
I couldn’t sleep much the night before so I prayed through the early morning hours about our meeting and my concerns. Aster’s paperwork said her father had abandoned them when she was 8mos pregnant, and that she could not take care of her baby, her firstborn, her only child. But I’d struggled with how Aster would feel that her birth mom put her up for adoption although she was still alive.
God reminded me how He’d provided answers to those questions earlier that week. I’d met the doctor who cared for Aster when she was hospitalized for severe malnutrition. He was amazed by her current weight and told me Aster’s skin had been hanging off her bones when she was first admitted. Aster would not have survived had she not been placed for adoption. Here’s a photo of what she looked like then at 6 months, weighing only 8 lbs.
Remembering how God provided answers to those troubling questions, I tucked His assurance in my heart that He would provide again as we pulled up to the orphanage where we were meeting Hagere. As we got out of the van, we were greeted by two beautiful women who took Aster and started singing and kissing her and shouting, “Aster?? This is Aster? Look, this is Aster!”
And then I saw her. Sitting quietly on the porch. Waiting. I immediately walked up to her and said hello and asked if she wanted to hold Aster. She smiled and said yes with her eyes.
Oh the difference a hug can make. If you click on this photo you can really see how Hagere’s smile changed when I put my arm around her.
Hagere spoke very little. They explained to us that women are very subdued in the region she is from and that she is very shy. She only said she wanted to thank us and tell us that she wants Aster to be with our family. I sensed that she wanted to give us her blessing.
I told her we knew Aster was a gift from God and that we had been praying He would bring us a little girl for years. She cried.Then she told the interpreters that she wanted us to know that she is a Christian, too. We were shocked. We had not mentioned we were Christians because we knew it’s a very Muslim influenced area and it could hinder our conversation. The fact that she would use those words to describe her faith was the biggest gift Jesus could give to us in that moment.
God had answered another one of my deepest prayers! I started bawling and told her about all of you who were praying for Aster and that I knew God had a plan for her life.
She had decided to give Aster back to me at one point in our conversation. I wanted her to see Aster smile so I started playing patty cake. We talked some more, asking questions about her family and living conditions. Her cousin had brought her and he explained that Hagere’s mother is still alive and Hagere lives with her along with 4 cousins and brothers in a one room mud hut.
He told us that they are very, very poor and can barely feed themselves. That is why she could not take care of Aster. He looked very sad but also very thankful to see her doing so well.
I thought she might want to see Aster’s cute little toes so I took off one of her socks. Then I gave her back to Hagere and offered her a bottle to feed her.
She seemed so pensive. It seemed so unfair to me that I could provide formula when I know with all my heart this young mother would do anything to provide her baby her mother’s milk. It was bittersweet to share this moment together.
But it was also beautiful.
And then our visit faded toward the end of our time together. She leaned close to hug her good-bye.
There is so much more I want to share, but this post is already so long. If you’d like to follow Aster’s story and our family’s journey be sure to come back, or sign up for email updates in the top right sidebar under the P31 logo where there is a place to put your email.
In the meantime, I’ll be here with my beautiful girl watching raindrops and praying that Hagere knows I’m thinking about her and praying for her every time I see the rain.Discover more from Renee Swope
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So so sweet.
Wow! She looks like she's lived a rough life but you could see some light when she held her daughter.
What a blessing to know that she's going to have a good life.
You have such a beautiful, beautiful heart. I hardly even know what to say. What a day full of precious gifts for everyone there!!! How precious of you to make sure Hagere got that time with Aster. How beautiful it is that you have not only welcomed Aster into your heart, but also her mother.
Still struggling for words over here…God is just so amazing!
Renee, what a beautiful pictures Also her name. Thank you for sharing Aster pictures.
Blessings.
Hi Renee, couldnt wait to hear the story, thank you for sharing it. I have been touched by the sacrificial love of Asters birth mom.
When i looked at one of the pictures up close, i could see tears in her eyes just than i started to cry. I thought about the many nights that Hagere must have rubbed her belly and prayed to God that He would take care of her baby, not knowing what was to come.
God answered her prayer and not only did he do that he gave her the blessing of seeing her child loved and adored by a family and Women of God, that God had handpicked himself. What a blessing, what a Sacrifice, What An Amazing God.
Praying for Hagere. God bless you sister in Christ.
What a sweet story. Thank you for sharing.
Oh Renee, this is such a profound story. The depth of emotion you showed us all was so beautiful. I am so glad I popped over here to read this. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Renee,
Oh, after my time with your sweet girl yesterday, this meant all the much more to me. I LOVE seeing her birth mother and how God allowed you to be together…what a gift to both of you. Thank you for allowing us to share in your beautiful journey!!
Love you,
Wendy
Beautiful my friend, just beautiful. So happy for you and proud of you. Watching eagerly to see what God will do next…you are beautiful.
love you~
Oh,Renee! I am in tears after reading this post. Beautiful…just beautiful. Sending you a great big hug and one for your entire family.
Love you!
Susan
What a blessing for you and your family to be able to meet Hagere. The pictures of Aster with her mother will be priceless in years to come. God is so good to your sweet little girl. She has two mothers that love her so very much.
Thank you my sweet friends for crying with me today. It took me two days to choose which photos to share and write this story. I couldnt stop crying which made it hard to see the keyboard.
God redeeming love has invaded my heart in a very tender and sweet way with His presence through Hagere's sacrifice. And to think that I was afraid of all that God was calling me to as a woman, as a mom. I am so, so glad He didn't give up on me and find a more willing and courageous woman.
Please say yes to Him today in whatever He is asking you to trust Him with! He wants to bless you!!!!! Do not let them enemy use fear to steal your faith.
I am so thankful for all of your prayers and your encouragement that has walked with me through this beautiful and sometimes treacherous path in my journey.
Much love,
Renee
Renee,
Words just can't explain the blessings that just the simple sharing of your story with Aster has brought blessings to my heart. Thank you.
Hugs and much love,
Diane
What a beautiful story of sacrificial giving. A helpless mother, a feeble child, a loving family, an awesome plan, a mighty God!
Love,
Leah
Thanks for sharing this amazing story with us. With tears in my eyes, I realize I will never be able to look at rain the same way I used to; I will forever think of you, Aster & Hagere. My prayers are with you all.
Buckets of tears, like rain drops, are spilling down my face. 🙂
What a gift Aster's mommy has in you.
My eyes fill with tears of joy, sorrow, and everything in between. Two of my brothers are from Ethiopia and the memories this brings back of when I went with my parents to get them have come back in floods. They couldn't sit up before we got them and now they are the stars of their soccer team, beautiful, healthy little boys. And most importantly, they have both accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior. Adoption is incredible. Thank you, Jesus. And thank you, Renee, for sharing this with us.
That picture of Aster standing at the window is so precious.
I am still amazed at the difference in Aster from a frail small child, to happy and full of life. What a miracle, Renee.
I just read your P31 devo and was touched by it. How amazing that your fears were the last of your mind when you went to help the boy climb.
Renee, Thank you for sharing this poignant tale. It reaches deep into my heart, with hope, compassion, empathy and love. I will keep all in prayer and am grateful that the message from your son…. "She was the one God picked.." was posted earlier. It is sometimes easy to forget the purpose when we are in the thick of disappointment. Thank you too for the encouragement post. It was excellent and I'm unable to comment there due to temporary techno glitch.
May God bless you and keep you safe. No doubt telling of this story will impact the communities with many blessings.
Renee, thank you for sharing your story and your heart for Hagere.
Our girls are ours through the gift of adoption, too. Their birthmoms were 18 and 19. I've often felt that God gave us four girls, not just two. Nurturing them and praying for them as they walked through the greatest sacrifice of their lives has bonded us together. It hasn't always been easy. There have been many bumps in the relationship. But this mother's heart will continue to pray and care for her girls…all four of them.
Deb