It was rainy and cold here Tuesday. Aster discovered the raindrops and knelt beside our back door to watch them trickle down the window and puddle on our porch. It was so, so sweet to watch her as she watched them for the first time.
I thought about the day we met Hagere. I couldn’t believe it had been a month that we returned from Ethiopia with Aster, and just two days before that we drove down the dusty, bumpy roads of Addis to meet her birth mom. It was a day I had prayed for and yet a day I was very nervous about.
I wondered what I should say or ask her. What would Aster want to know?
I couldn’t sleep much the night before so I prayed through the early morning hours about our meeting and my concerns. Aster’s paperwork said her father had abandoned them when she was 8mos pregnant, and that she could not take care of her baby, her firstborn, her only child. But I’d struggled with how Aster would feel that her birth mom put her up for adoption although she was still alive.
God reminded me how He’d provided answers to those questions earlier that week. I’d met the doctor who cared for Aster when she was hospitalized for severe malnutrition. He was amazed by her current weight and told me Aster’s skin had been hanging off her bones when she was first admitted. Aster would not have survived had she not been placed for adoption. Here’s a photo of what she looked like then at 6 months, weighing only 8 lbs.
Remembering how God provided answers to those troubling questions, I tucked His assurance in my heart that He would provide again as we pulled up to the orphanage where we were meeting Hagere. As we got out of the van, we were greeted by two beautiful women who took Aster and started singing and kissing her and shouting, “Aster?? This is Aster? Look, this is Aster!”
And then I saw her. Sitting quietly on the porch. Waiting. I immediately walked up to her and said hello and asked if she wanted to hold Aster. She smiled and said yes with her eyes.
Oh the difference a hug can make. If you click on this photo you can really see how Hagere’s smile changed when I put my arm around her.
Hagere spoke very little. They explained to us that women are very subdued in the region she is from and that she is very shy. She only said she wanted to thank us and tell us that she wants Aster to be with our family. I sensed that she wanted to give us her blessing.
I told her we knew Aster was a gift from God and that we had been praying He would bring us a little girl for years. She cried.Then she told the interpreters that she wanted us to know that she is a Christian, too. We were shocked. We had not mentioned we were Christians because we knew it’s a very Muslim influenced area and it could hinder our conversation. The fact that she would use those words to describe her faith was the biggest gift Jesus could give to us in that moment.
God had answered another one of my deepest prayers! I started bawling and told her about all of you who were praying for Aster and that I knew God had a plan for her life.
She had decided to give Aster back to me at one point in our conversation. I wanted her to see Aster smile so I started playing patty cake. We talked some more, asking questions about her family and living conditions. Her cousin had brought her and he explained that Hagere’s mother is still alive and Hagere lives with her along with 4 cousins and brothers in a one room mud hut.
He told us that they are very, very poor and can barely feed themselves. That is why she could not take care of Aster. He looked very sad but also very thankful to see her doing so well.
I thought she might want to see Aster’s cute little toes so I took off one of her socks. Then I gave her back to Hagere and offered her a bottle to feed her.
She seemed so pensive. It seemed so unfair to me that I could provide formula when I know with all my heart this young mother would do anything to provide her baby her mother’s milk. It was bittersweet to share this moment together.
But it was also beautiful.
And then our visit faded toward the end of our time together. She leaned close to hug her good-bye.
There is so much more I want to share, but this post is already so long. If you’d like to follow Aster’s story and our family’s journey be sure to come back, or sign up for email updates in the top right sidebar under the P31 logo where there is a place to put your email.
In the meantime, I’ll be here with my beautiful girl watching raindrops and praying that Hagere knows I’m thinking about her and praying for her every time I see the rain.Discover more from Renee Swope
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Thank you for continuing to share this beautiful story. It brought tears to my eyes reading this and seeing the pictures of Aster with both her loving mommies spending time together. May the God of hope bring peace and joy to you, your baby girl & family and also to Hagere & her family in Ethiopia.
Angela
Beautiful Renee. I am so glad that you were able to meet her birth mother and share that time. I have no doubt that it warms her knowing her daughter is safe, warm, and above all loved.
I am in tears and grieving for a mother who knew she had to give up her child… yet there are tears of joy intermixed because God chose you as Aster's new mother to care for her.
What a sweet blessing to meet her birth mother and share an experience with her that one day you can share with Aster.
I am praying for Hagere.
In response to your devotion on Prov. 31 today, the Lord has asked me to write YOU a note of encouragement. The verse you used from Joshua today was given to me when our baby with Down Syndrome was born. We had SIX other children at the time, so the mountain which I had been given to climb seemed very high and VERY scary. He is 18 now and the true blessing of our lives!!! Scaling my mountain was made possible by trusting God that He NEVER makes a mistake and by the encouragement and love the Lord sent my way through those He called to encourage me. So,NOW, I encourage you to keep the faith and press on with the challenges that are and will be yours raising this dear, dear one for the Lord!!II Cor. 1:4 (Amplified Bible).I will pray for you this day that you will be courageous as you walk with the Lord by your side.
He chose you to rescue this child from poverty and give her a hope and a future. Blessings!!
Lord, only you could put a beautiful story like this together. I ask your abundant blessings for Hagere's family. I pray for food provision and peace in their hearts. Lord, I also lift up the Swope family. May they shine for you around the world. Thank you God for loving all of us.
Renee, that was so touching to hear about Aster's birth mother. Thank you for sharing her story! God bless you and your family and Hagere, too.
Beautiful! I love seeing how Aster's eyes have changed. The were once dark and distant. Now they sparkle and have joy in them.
OK…early morning, fresh makeup ruined!! I remember the day that we brought J's birth mom to our home. Our entire family gathered around her and thanked her for Julianna!
These women are beyond special! No words.
Love ya Mom, do enjoy!!
Pat
This is so beautiful! What a testimony of God's love for all of you, even Hagere. Bless her heart! The Lord is so good!
Thank you so much for sharing. I love your devotion today, too.
I am looking forward to hearing more!
Love you,
Cheri
Thank you so much for sharing.
Wow Renee, what a beautiful story. I don't know if you have read it, but there is a story called "Motherbridge of Love" about adoption. It is published by Barefoot Books and is about an adopted Chinese girl and how both mothers shaped her life. It has really beautiful illustrations. You can find it at http://www.ReadBarefoot.com. I'm really not trying to make a plug for a sale (I do sell Barefoot) but I have a heart for adoption as well and it really is a touching book for children who are adopted and your story is like that story brought to real life. Absolutely touching and amazing.
I'm so encouraged, convicted, and called to prayer by your blog. I will keep Hagere and your family in my prayers. Thank you so much for sharing and for the pictures.
Great pictures Renee and such a touching story. As I read about Hagere giving up her little girl, I couldn't imagine what she experienced as thoughts turned to my son, but also thought of God letting go of His son. Blessings beyond measure followed that and I'm sure Aster will experience blessings as well, I know she already is.
I also recalled your illustration from Rise and Shine with the open hands – I saw it from your point of view – sometimes we do have to open our hands to receive all God has for us, but really Hagere had to open her's as well. I guess sometimes opening our hands involves letting go as well, I needed that picture too. Anyway thanks for sharing – you wondered about a baby and a blog, yes it's possible God works through the stories of our lives and journey of your heart.
Blessings to you today,
Jill
Thank you Renee! You are all in my prayers!
Thank you for helping me see the beauty in the rain. You are amazing.
Tears are my response. Renee, this is so beautiful. You've unwrapped so many gifts here. The gifts of touch, smiles, toes, family, raindrop reminders, God's provision, confirmation, letting go, receiving, hope, prayer, faith, trust, obedience and love.
Thanks for sharing all these gifts with us.
Love ya,
Joy
Renee,
I know this is a blog…but it seems to be turning into a mini-novel (hint-hint)-BTW, its a good thing because personally I love to read your "Aster updates".
The entire journey and underlying relationships you have experienced and shared are all coming forth are truly inspiring and are a reminder of the love and grace our Father above bestows upon us. I thank you very much for being so open and transparent about how much you and your family love this very special and precious baby girl-Aster. I just can't be more filled right now and will continue to pray for you all. Peace and blessings!
Teresa
Gut wrenching….again, I am reminded of the blessings that I take for granted and those 3 sweeties sleeping in their warm beds with full bellies!
What a tiny baby she was and look at her now!
Beautiful! God is so good!
Wow Renee, what a beautiful story. Thanks for posting those pictures. Aster's smile has brightened my night and changed my perspective.
Paula G.
Tonight, I am praying for Hagere, too. Thank you so much for sharing her story with us. I'm moved beyond proper words or neat, tidy phrases.
Just know that I am praying…for you all.