In chapter 3, I share how “our hearts leak and will always end up empty when we find our worth in anything but who we are in Christ. Our value is not measured by what others think of us—but we surely live like it is, don’t we? It’s almost as though we wake up every morning with an empty jar, like Sam, and walk around holding it out to people or things, hoping they will fill us…”
In today’s video message, I talk about the things we look to and illustrate how we can allow God to fill the empty places in our hearts…
Please click the arrow below to watch.
(Optional) Download my “Message Notes” in a PDF format here or in a MSWord doc here. We want you to just watch and let God speak to your heart the first time, but we also knew some of you will want the notes. I even included blanks for you to fill in. 🙂
UPDATE: It’s been quite a week at our house…a trip to the ER with my mom after a bad fall Sunday, I woke up sick on Tuesday and my son Andrew (14) broke his collar bone that same afternoon. Wednesday we found out I had bronchitis and that Andrew’s break was much worse than we expected. Fortunately, we are doing a good bit better today. God’s kept us close to His promises and provided strength and encouragement through so many of your prayers and notes. THANK YOU!!
Connecting in Community: I’d love to hear your thoughts about this week”s video message and your answers to questions at end of Chapter 3. If you left a comment earlier in the week, let’s talk about questions we hadn’t answered yet. Like 4-7. And how the video message ties into the question about finding our “worth-ship” in Christ.
Just click “share your thoughts” right below this post and do just that – share your thoughts, I love to hear them! And I’ll share mine too.
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Amazing video – having the visual image of what I do on a daily basis is helpful and so powerful. I’ve turned to food rather than God to fill my empty places. This chapter hit hard.
I am so sorry to read about all things that had happened. I hope you, your son and your mom will heal quickly.
Thank you Renee for the powerful message on the video. I needed to hear that this morning.
I to, appreciate the visual aide in getting this message across. I have been struggling all my life to get the love and approval of everyone around me and I find myself constantly searching for the wrong attention that just leads me right into sinful ways. I want to find my unfailing love in God and im even more desperate to get it now and forever. I know its not gonna be easy to get out of my bad habits but with God by my side and his word in my heart, I will find his unfailing love. I am so grateful for this confident heart series and I can’t wait to be able to buy the book. I am so Thankful for you right now, I know that God lead me to you for a reason because he knows that I am searching for his unfailing love….. Im glad that you and your family are doing well and I pray that you all continue to be blessed and a blessing to others.. Thank you, Again!
Praying for you Toya…admire your courage to share a little bit. I can relate to your feelings that you expressed and I’m praying for us as we listen to God’s loving whispers and allow Him to write His Word on our hearts…Keep going girlfriend!
Renee, oh how i loved ch 3.I wouldst put it down once i started reading it. i answered all the questions the nx day as well. It took ne awhile to meditate and gather my thoughts b4 I could respond. Ch 3 really hit home as my mother always taught me to b very independent. She taught me to do every thing on my own n never depend on anyone…esp a man…due to our childhood. i did that most of my life until I got married. just a couple of yrs ago our marriage started having problems. and my confidence and ssecurity started to wither…i had put all of my trust, dependence, self worth, and confidence into my husband instead of Christ. and when my husband let me down i was broken n hurt. I started seeking his approval…if i do this o that he will lover me more . if i look this way and do my hair n nails he will think Im still pretty, if i act this way he will want to b w me more. if Im a super mom he will think Im a great mom. we have worked through alot of our situation but i still find myself looking for his approval and wanting that security n confidence in our marriage. Ch 3 came at the right time as it was a good reminder to me that we are loved and accepted by God and he always desires to give us that unconditional love. He wants us to find our security n confidence in him and not in anybody else. i so long to experience Gods unfailing love agai and i know God is the only one who can give me that kind of love. Ps.63 1-4 really spoke to my heart…because ur love is better then life i will glorify you. that gives me peace! i loved the when then statements and they remind me of Gods promises to me and how i can hold on to themin timesof doubt and fear. i want to have a voicconfident heart that is found in a woman who knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is loved no matter what. that lasting security comes when we bring the empty well of our hearts to Jesus and ask him to fill and fulfill us w the security of His unfailing love. Thanks for writing that reminder to us Renee and i ask that u and our sisters would pray for me…that i would allow God to fill me with is love and that i wouldst seek it in the approval of my husband…and that u girls would pray for my husband that he wouldn’t live in his in strength but in the Lords strength again. I look forward to reading Ch 4 and what God has to teach me and show me.
# 4 – I was raised with the motto “Be your own person – don’t be one of the crowd” so the concept of individualism was firmly promoted. That left no room for God to define me so when I came to the Lord, it took years of trying to overcome the notion that I can do all things.
#6 – Salvation is the decision to place my heart and life into God’s Hands acknowledging my need for Him- usually a one-time decision. Satisfaction is Christ is on-going, a place of peace and resting in Him and His ability to save me from myself! It is something I need to cultivate and desire with all my heart and spending time in His Presence and in His Word is crucial to the proces..
What a powerful deliverance of Gods love. I received each word you gave on today, thank you! My heart actually melted listening to this message. I want others to hear it as well. Praise God for this word, Renee he has truly used you to touch others and help them open that place they need him to enter in.
I fail to do a lot of things because I don’t have confidence in myself. I’m trying to learn to just let God lead me and give me the confidence I need. Here’s and example. I had to do training at work and I don’t have as much education as the others in my office. We had a test at the end and when I started reading the questions I didn’t know a lot of the answers. I was so upset because I knew that everyone was going to know just how dumb I was. So I prayed and asked God to help me with the test and to help me to find my worth in Him instead of what they would think of me at work. I took the test and submitted it. Later that day I heard some of my coworkers talking about their scores and I had made one of the highest scores. I just praised God and asked Him to forgive me for putting my worth in what others think of me. I want so desperately to let God be what fills me. Thank you for helping me to deal with all this stuff that is standing in the way of letting God’s spirit fill my heart.
Linda, I love how you turned to God and asked Him to help you AND then after drew even closer to Him asking Him to forgive you for the way your heart was drawn to put your worth in what others think of you…I am so taking this practical application and applying it in my journey…thank you! I too am so prone to do the same thing and realize I spend WAY too much time thinking about what others may be thinking about me. Praying for us as we seek Him and clean out our hearts 🙂
Great video Renee! I underlined what you wrote in Chapter 3 “When we worship something or someone, we give them great worth in our lives and oftentimes we find our worth in them.” I recognize I am tempted to put my worth in other opinions of me–and it is rooted deep from a childhood scarred from abuse. Whether it was my daddy or another person in authority over my life, I natually looked to them for approval; I seek affirmation to the many questions of my heart, i.e.”Am I doing this right, Are you pleased with my work?–God has shown me that they will never love perfectly, encourage perfectly or shepherd me perfectly. I’m learning to lean into my Chief Shepherd first and slowly God’s love is penetrating my heart, teaching me to live confidently by hearing His loving affirmations first–asking Him and seeking His approval. When I hear Him, the other voices in the world are not so loud–whether others are cheering for me or cursing me or silent (and silent means I am visualizing them cursing me in my own head.) (Funny, when you put the items in the jar, I thought for sure you were going to pour something over all of it and let it fill in all the cracks…I think for me God is showing that “Yes, your daddy was wrong to withhold love and yes that person there was wrong to withhold favor–and Yes, it was natural for your heart to desire encouragement from each of them–just let Me…I picture God’s loving water pouring over all of the things and people that are naturally in my circular vase and Love is drowning out all of the imperfections in my heart and theirs, slowly, suffocating the wrong we all are capable of) As I embrace more and more of His love and live more confidently in Him, I am also finding my heart capable of more love itself–forgiving, asking God to forgive me for my sins as I forgive them for theirs. Why would I look to anyone else for my worth than the One who created me? God help me look to YOU ONLY for my worth and worship you alone. Thank you Renee for looking to Him and pointing your readers to Him…you sharing your journey is helping me with mine.
This was a very meaningful video and I thank you Renee from the bottom of my heart. I love your book and what you are doing to inspire and encourage me to rely upon Jesus. I have reflected upon your video lots this week, and I have referred many to your website in hopes that they will listen to the video also. Renee, you are influencing thousands and thousands of people to reach out to the healing and loving spirit of Jesus Christ. It seems like you need much prayer, because of your huge influence to encourage all of us to lean on Jesus, the enemy is making your life very challenging. Let’s cover Renee with our prayers in the blood of Jesus and in the safety of His Holy Spirit. The enemy is upset, because we are all turning to trust Jesus in a deeper way. Renee, may the love and safety of His power be with you as you do this bible study, and thank you for your book and your video, and for doing the work of Jesus. I shower you with love and prayers now.
Dianne, i pray your prayer for Renee too. May she be covered with the Lord’s protection.
Thank you Dianne for your prayer.
I am praying in agreement with this prayer also. Amen!
Karen C
Thank you for the video Renee. A picture really does help put things into perspective. I’ve tried to find my worth in parenting, my job and my volunteer work yet I feel so lonely at the end of the day. Already into this study I find myself wanting to connect more with God and learn and read the scriptures. Thank you and everyone for their posts to help us all feel like we are not alone in this journey.
This online study has had good timing for me. Maybe as the study goes on it will be easier to share some of my story. I am still learning…I spent time rereading Chapter 3. All of the things in the study (so far), I have known in my head for a long time and even thought I was living them in my heart until a few months ago.
Thanks Renee for doing all you have to be honest and transparent about your life and struggles.
The Scripture in question 5, Psalm 63:2-4 really hit me as to the way that He truly loves us. And as a response to the love we are to love Him with our praises, and give Him all that we are so that He will fill us up to enable us to be all that we can be for Him. He is enough, He desires to fill us up!! His unfailing love is something we should desire as it is like nothing else that we can encounter anywhere, thru anything else. There was a time when I did wonder how His love could be enough, and sometimes in my weak, and anxious moments i still do. Those moments are becoming few and far between since I have been in His word more and found a wonderful church to learn and worship at.
Questions:
#3 Recently, I have been so stretched, stressed, and anxious. Yes, my closet, schedule, mind, and life are full, but my heart still has its share of empty spaces. I have a hard time saying no, and instead of praying for what things I need to take off my schedule, I keep heaping things on. I know I need to pray and ask GOD to help me identify what things I need to give up and what things I need to hold on to, however, I think I’m a little afraid of what He might say, or I keep thinking maybe He’ll tell me but I won’t be able to hear Him.
#4 I’m most tempted to find my worth as a wife, mother, and woman of GOD. I think I struggle with allowing GOD to define me period. I’m unsure of how to allow GOD to be GOD. However, I desire to know how.
Chapter 3 almost made me cry. It was so easy to identify with a lot of the thoughts and emotions that you expressed in this chapter. I find myself often wondering what’s missing in my life. When I look at my life, I have so much to be thankful for. My life is by no means perfect, but GOD has truly blessed me all the same. Although I recognize GOD’s blessings, there is still an empty void inside of me. Even though I’m saved, I still long for more. I desire more of GOD, a more intimate relationship with Him, but I am so unsure of how to achieve that relationship with Him. Like so many other women, I made the mistake of seeking for love in all the wrong places. Recently, I fell in love with a guy, who I so desperately wanted him to be my husband. He was everything I thought I wanted (with a few exceptions), but there was something missing even in that relationship. Although we were engaged, I wasn’t settled on whether or not GOD was okay with me marrying him. After a year of uncertainty, I finally broke everything off. I was crushed and it took me awhile to move forward. I’m still trying to move forward. It’s difficult because I love him. I’m not even sure why I’m writing all of this, but all I know is that I need GOD to heal my heart and to help me be satisfied and complete in HIM. I need for GOD to fill this empty void. I need Him to guide me through this life and to help me to become the woman of GOD He designed me to be. I want to be in love with Jesus and be secure in His love for me. However, I’m not sure how to go about achieving this.
Hi Renee,
Thank you so much for your book, for sharing your story. It ties in exactly with what God wants to do in my life right now, this year. I sensed He wants me to become completely whole and healed from all my past.
My counselor, who I just started with in January, is the one who recommended your book. How timely so I could also join you and all the other’s going through your book. I thought, not another book, but little did I know it was exactly what God knew I needed. I am at a very difficult place in life right now, and your story and Sam’s story speak to my heart. I have struggled with plenty of doubt, insecurity, depression, (currently dealing with depression due to being separated from my husband), rejection.
I love the video, showing how only God can fill those empty places. I knew that until God’s love is enough nothing else will be, but haven’t lived it. I haven’t let Him alone fill my heart. Now He is.
I haven’t even started on the questions for Chapter 3 yet, but have already read much of Chapter 4. Renee, thank you for being a bright spot in my very challenging days right now. You and all those who are part of this study are a blessing. God bless.
I really liked chapter 3. Nobody can fill or fulfill your life more than Christ. His love is unconditional and he is the living water than can satisy you without leaving empty spaces in your life.
Number 1. I was involved in a verbally abusive and controlling relationship with someone in high school only because I thought I was in love. A mutual friend broke us up and instead of going my own way I got back together with him. He asked me to marry him and I said yes but later realized I would be making a mistake and called it off.
2. I have let relationships both boyfriends and friendships fill my life to where even if they were wrong for me I still had to have them in my life to teach me and to help me grow stronger. I was naive and let people use me instead of standing up for myself. Not sure if this answers the question but is on my heart to share.
3.my heart is full of love for those around me including my husband, daughter, family, and friends but for god I do have empty spaces that need to be filled: my motherhood role ( sometimes feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, anxious), my job ( feeling frustrated with favoritism and negativity from co-workers), my fears and anxitities controlling me, my shutting others out when hurt or distressed
4.I find my worth from what other people say about me. It is hardest to let god define me in area of mothrrhood.
5.god’s unfailing love is always present and will never fail or forsake you. God’s unfailing love satisfies your
soul.
6. Salvation-accepting that god died on the cross fir our sins, was buried and rose again. Satisfaction in
Christ-being in love with god, his word, and his promises
7. When I start to measure my value by how well I am doing as a mom, then I will thank god for the gift of growing my daughter up to know him and for giving me the strength to be the mom he has called me to be.
My answer to question 4 is that I am struggling with finding my worth as a homeschool mom. People tend to think I should be working at a “real” job where I can be paid. We are struggling financially, but I feel God called me to homeschool. I’m also having trouble getting it all done, esp. with my 4 year old. I look to my husband most for fulfillment, and some grown-up conversation. I know he can’t give me what I need. Only God can. I can only find true worth and fulfillment in Jesus alone. I also like how on p. 62, you wrote “We become secure as we rely on His love more and more. It is a moment by moment, day by day experience where we process our thoughts, emotions, and decisions with God, positioning our hearts to let His perspective redefine ours.”
HI Michele,
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. It’s so easy to look at what we accomplish each day to define our worth. God understands and created us to want to do an excellent job as a mom or homemaker. He wants us to be good stewards of our time but He wants to protect us from finding our value and worth in how well we do them. It’s such a balance. Did you get a chance to write any When…Then statements. Those have really helped me re-direct my thoughts towards who I am in Christ and how valuable I already am – without doing a thing – but solely based on how much HE loves me (and you!) It really is a day by day, moment by moment repositioning of our perspectives. But the more we do it, the more it “sticks”. 🙂
Renee ~ What a wonderful video! I am a week behind on the reading and almost didn’t watch the video. I am so glad I took the time to watch it. It blessed me so! Thank you for all that you do. Praying your Mom, son & you are back to 100% very soon!
In His Calm ~ Mary
Soooo glad you watched the video. They will also be available on my website under Confident Heart videos so that anyone can go back and watch them or share them with friends. Also, thanks for your prayers!!
Loved the visual! God is REALLY using this study to work on me and it is definitely drawing me closer to Him! I am even gonna recommend it to a sister! Thank you so much for the extras you do thru the blog and all it just adds those extra nuggets to the study and I learn well with visuals so i really appreciated the video this week! 🙂
So glad you are part of the study Kristen. It’s my pleasure to do what I do and to follow as God leads me to share what is on His heart for us. I’m a visual learner too so I’m glad a lot of you are as well!
I took advantage of the opportunity for the free” downloads of A Confident Heart before the on-line Bible study began. God has given me so much scripture (promises) on how He see’s me as His precious child. I can say that I am feeling secure in God’s promises because of your book Renee. I am really seeing how vital it is to pray God’s promises. This week, Satan found a weak spot in me and brought up a memory I have silently carried with me for 18 years. It began to haunt me and I felt that I could not receive God’s everlasting forgiveness and mercy. I finally shared this with a trusted sister in Christ. She prayed with me and we talked. I came home, asked for God’s forgiveness and gladly received His mercy. Satan knows how to attack when one is weak. Thank you, Renee for the blessings we all are receiving from “A Confident Heart.”
I love that you went to someone for Godly counsel and prayer and Satan was defeated!! Through repentance and rest (in HIM) is our salvation. Through quietness and trust is our strength! Is 30:15. Rest in Jesus sweet friend. He paid the price for your freedom and forgiveness on the Cross and then He boldly proclaimed: It is finished!! Live in the finished work of your Redeemer. You are forgiven. His grace and mercy are yours!!