In chapter 3, I share how “our hearts leak and will always end up empty when we find our worth in anything but who we are in Christ. Our value is not measured by what others think of us—but we surely live like it is, don’t we? It’s almost as though we wake up every morning with an empty jar, like Sam, and walk around holding it out to people or things, hoping they will fill us…”
In today’s video message, I talk about the things we look to and illustrate how we can allow God to fill the empty places in our hearts…
Please click the arrow below to watch.
(Optional) Download my “Message Notes” in a PDF format here or in a MSWord doc here. We want you to just watch and let God speak to your heart the first time, but we also knew some of you will want the notes. I even included blanks for you to fill in. 🙂
UPDATE: It’s been quite a week at our house…a trip to the ER with my mom after a bad fall Sunday, I woke up sick on Tuesday and my son Andrew (14) broke his collar bone that same afternoon. Wednesday we found out I had bronchitis and that Andrew’s break was much worse than we expected. Fortunately, we are doing a good bit better today. God’s kept us close to His promises and provided strength and encouragement through so many of your prayers and notes. THANK YOU!!
Connecting in Community: I’d love to hear your thoughts about this week”s video message and your answers to questions at end of Chapter 3. If you left a comment earlier in the week, let’s talk about questions we hadn’t answered yet. Like 4-7. And how the video message ties into the question about finding our “worth-ship” in Christ.
Just click “share your thoughts” right below this post and do just that – share your thoughts, I love to hear them! And I’ll share mine too.
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Renee: Thank you so much for the ability to download the Message Notes. As a kinesthetic learner, I need to be able to write to absorb what I am trying to study.
Renee, this was a fabulous reminder of how easy it is to allow things of this world to creep into our lives edging out Jesus Christ the giver of life. Believing they will satisfy when truly nothing can fill that God shaped hole in our heart except Jesus Christ. I can honestly say I tried for years prior to 09.06.2003, and felt empty and lifeless. My life since then hasn’t been easy, nevertheless I don’t walk alone I have a peace and a joy that comes from allowing Jesus to fill my empty spaces. Again, thanks for the wonderful illustration, and the study. Blessings – Barb
Thank you so much for the much needed video. Your words are answers to prayer. Letting God’s love fill and renew me is a day by day wonderful experience. Praying healing for you, your son, and your dear mother. so sorry all happening at once. Rest and take care. Look forward to each days words from you:-)
I am Praying for you Sister Renee and for Your Precious Son Andrew.I am asking Healing Jesus to stop by and Lay His Hands on you and restore and rebuild.I am asking from the tops of your heads to the soles of your feet.Your Bodies belong to God and the enemy has know right to them.So I Pray this in Jesus Precious and Mighty Name,Amen.Also Your Video Blessed my Heart.I was Looking in all the wrong Places to be accepted when all I needed to do was Just ask God into my heart to Think of all those years I wasted not knowing why I was here.Now I know why I am here I’m here to help others see there worth in Themselves to spread the Good News of the Gospel to give Testimony of all God has brought me through,I am so Bless that I am Part of His Kingdom and I can’t wait to bow at His Feet and one day Jesus is going to call my Name and I will No longer be the same.I Pray that I always give the Giver All of me and I serve Him with all my heart soul mind and Strength.Thank You women of God who are making a diffrence for this lost and dieing world.
Thank you for the video message. i so needed to hear this today.
Thank you for this video today I really nedded it today. I am want God to fill me with his love. I trust in him more and more everyday.
Wow, Wow, and Wow. I have been home sick this week, and I just finished answering my 1-3 questions, which was a bit of a soul-searching, heart, tugging revelation for me when the email came to come and watch your video. Such a powerful message. As a visual learner, seeing what you meant, along with what you said, really spoke to my heart in a huge way. It explains to me why I have such emptiness inside. For so long I have thought it was because something in my marriage wasn’t working… and just as of late, through this book study, I have realized (and what an eye opener it’s been, because I have a relationship with the Lord).. that it’s because *I* haven’t been working. That I have been missing out on letting the Lord fill those empty spaces in my heart, that only HE can fill. Boy, do I have a lot of work ahead of me. Thank you so much Renee. I hope you feel better.
this video is so true, we do tend to look to others or someone or something to fill a void in our life, when all we need is jesus in our life,hes all we need and hope for,for everything.he is our great sustainer in life. i am so glad i am saved and have been baptized in the lord. this book along with videos and your teaching is really helping me to see i dont need to depend on materials or anything its christ the living water. thankyou so much for sharing this video along with teaching. i am still on chpt 3,but gradually getting there.
Very wonderful. Thank you. This is my 15th month of recovering from an 18 wheeler hitting me and Proverbs Ministry 31 and your ministry has been awesome. It has been helping me day by day (on those days I could read it). Thank you so much. Praying for you, your son and your mother. Very excited about what you all are doing.
Michelle S.
I have never been able to memorize scripture, but I am really going to try this week. The verse this week is EXACTLY the kind of message I need in my heart! Thank you so much for this study, Renee!
What a needed message this morning. I’m beginning to let God’s love fill me where I tried to get my husband’s love to do this. Seeking a husbands love to fill a place only meant for God to fill won’t work. Especially when you feel abandoned by a husband who has a wonderful job and chooses to take a leave of absence and go on a tour to Iraq with the Army Infantry for almost 2 years. Dealiing with what feels like rejection from him and now trying to build a trust and love again has not been easy. However, with this study, I’m gaining confidence, with God’s help, and a fulfilling love from the Father that only He can provide for me. I’m waiting on Him and listening to Him as He guides me through this difficult re-building phase in my marriage. It’s a long way from ok, but I know that God will show me what to do and give me the confidence and love I need to see me through. Some days are easier than others, but Praise God that I don’t have to do it alone. He is with me all the way. I’m thankful for this study at this time in my life. It is so helpful. Thank you!!
Michelle,
I so identify with your thoughts only that my husband is not overseas working, but is working in another state – by his choice. When we got married, I wanted the security I had not had as a young girl because of my father’s early death. I looked for that security in my husband – and it has taken me about 30+ years to realize that my husband can’t be that security I need – God needs to be my security.
One thing I have found on Renee’s website that has helped me greatly these past few weeks is her P31 devotion on November 22, 2011 where she shared her struggle of respecting her husband. She also gave us a prayer that we can pray for our husbands daily – from head to toe. I copied it and read it out loud every morning and sometimes before I go to bed. Even when our husbands are not aware of us praying for them, God hears and honors our prayers. I am planning on copying it and sending it to my husband in a Valentine’s card so he will know that I am praying for him and he will know what I am praying for him. God has given me the confidence to do this for my husband and to let him know I’m doing it. It may make a difference in your relationship with your husband too. God is the best builder and re-builder of broken walls and lives there is. Trust Him.
Donna and Michelle,
I too can relate to looking for something from my husband that only God can fulfill. When my mom suffered from dementia and could no longer be my best friend to whom I could always go, I went to my husband but of course he was not my mom and then I wondered why he couldn’t meet that need for just hearing things out ( he likes his opinion a lot more than mine sometimes lol) so then, finally (when my things couldn’t fill me empty places…. and thanks to Kimberly at the beginning of the comments for pointing out that empty is good! wow) I started venting to God day after day until I realized that no matter what was on my mind good or bad, praise or complaints He was ALWAYS there and was a very good listener! This too after nearly 30 years of marriage and lifetime of a relationship with God. Its amazing to me what I continue to learn about God and how my relationship continues to grow. Donna thank-you so much for pointing out the devotion because I have been trying to find that recently while my husband currently goes through his own “growth” spurt and needs God’s presence and guidance especially at this time. Renee I am so enjoying participating in this online study. God bless all of you!
Thank you Donna. I will look up this P31 devotion. I read those daily also. I’ve been in prayer over him and for him. He travels for his work all the time, so since he has returned from Iraq, he’s still not home often. He counted up and realized that he traveled 36 weeks last year. This is so difficult as I try to be a good “single” parent to our 17year old daughter, who has Asperger’s, and our 14 year old son. I also run my own business. My husbands idea of support and protection is on a global level instead of a personal one. It is task driven and not relationship driven. I have learned not to rely on him for that security and I have a peace with God knowing that He is the one providing and protecting us all.
What I’m struggling with now is how to fit a relationship back together when one of the puzzle pieces has changed shape and it doesn’t fit anymore. I know God can do anything and change anyone and re-build anything. I also know that the other person has to be willing and perceptive to that and allow God to work in them. Right now, that is not happening. I’m doing what I know to do for myself and that begins and ends with God filling what my husband can’t. I’m seeking counseling as well even though my husband thinks this is something I have to fix in me and things will be better. He doesn’t believe there is anything wrong with him and he is not coming with me to counseling. I am praying daily for God to help me in this relationship and to show me what I can do. I also realize that currently I’m the only one working on this relationship and he will have to do his part to meet me in this relationship for there to be any re-building done.
Thanks for your encouragement. I’m very thankful for this forum to be able to see that I’m not the only one struggling.
Donna, I found that devotion and re-read it again. I had the same reaction now as I did when I read it in November and that is this…I HAVE been his biggest cheerleader and supported him in everything he has done for 21 years of marriage. I realize now that I have enabled him to make poor choices in many areas of our life together and I have supported every one. I’ve done this because I thought is was my job to support every decision and to always let him be “right.” I have inflated his ego until it is difficult to live with him now. He doesn’t need anyone else in his life, but me, and I can no longer be his only support. He doesn’t look to anyone else for godly advice because quite frankly he doesn’t respect anyone else enough to listen to them. I have used every ounce of energy I have to build him up until I think now that his ego has taken over and when I’ve pulled away the admiration and respect for him and the things he has done and is doing (because it is not building up our family, it is tearing it down), it is somehow my fault that I’m struggling with his “leadership” in our family. I just need to see things from his perspective again and things will all be ok, according to him, and I just disagree. God has used me as the glue to keep this family stuck together and now this glue is loosing its adhesive properties because the choices my husband is making is not beneficial for any of us in regards to relationship. He is providing financially, but not providing anything else to help in our relationship together or in his relationship with either of our kids.
Just struggling to see the right way to handle this situation and praying so hard for us as a couple and for our kids because they have been greatly affected by his decisions. Explaining any kind of social/relationship issues and how it works in life to one who has Asperger’s is so increadibly difficult. I believe what I’ve been dealing with all along is a husband with Asperger’s (to a degree) and a daughter with it also. Both are extremely intellegent and very high functioning, however, neither one of them are so good at manuvering relationships or anything social. There in lies the struggle. I’m just caught between a rock and a hard place in dealing with each of them. In the meantime, I’m allowing God to fill that lack of relationship and he has given me a kind of peace even in the storm. Praying for what the future holds though. I just don’t know what steps to take next…
Michelle,
Our lives sound a lot alike. The one thing that I have found out recently is that if I dwell on the negative issues and portions of my life, I can let Satan whisper and sometimes shout in my ear and that just brings me down to his level. It isn’t easy living apart and sometimes questioning why it has to be this way. I certainly don’t have an answer to that question except to remember and believe what Jeremiah 29:11- 14 states: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.”
I think that with your husband, he is probably seeking God also but doesn’t know where to find him…I pray that he will seek the Lord and find him so that he can see what the Lord has blessed him with.
My other new favorite verse is Isaiah 43:18-19 – “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”
Let God show you the path to take. It will lead to a lush and plentiful land. Just be patient.
That was a wonderful video message. Loved the visuals. The water was crystal clear and perfect…just as Gods love is!
Thank you for the video message today. So simple and so understandable and relatable. I’m enjoying the book.
In Chapter 3, God is showing me to accept his unconditional love in order to have a well-loved feeling. He is telling me His love is dependable and everlasting. These truths make my heart desire to know and seek Him more, just as you, Renee, put it in the last 2 paragraphs on page 55 and today’s video. I thank God for your ministry.
The video message was awesome. I love how powerful the illustration was. That’s exactly what I do everyday all day, try to fill myself up with gifts, but what I need to do is allow God to fill me. Thank you for this message and I pray that all of us would be able to let go and give God our whole lives every single day. To let Him fill us and use us for His purposes. To think constantly about Him and allow what He says to be truth in our life. P.S. I also thought your necklace was so cute and I loved how your shirt matched the candles behind you. 🙂 Great video.
This is so good. I kept thinking you would pour the water in over the toys, filling in the empty spaces. Oh, what an eye-opener, what a peak into my own heart when I was surprised you poured out the other things and THEN poured in the water. I think I live my life that way…in the clinging still to the things I want to fulfill me (people, food, recognition) but then asking Him to fill in the empty spaces AROUND those things.
But that leaves me with less of Him than He is offering. He is offering to fill all of me with HIM. I need to empty those places, present Him with the empty well of my heart so I can be filled with HIM. Totally makes sense, but I don’t think I fully realized how I have been cheating myself, how I have been settling in some places with just a little of Him when He has been wanting to fully satisfy. But first, I must empty.
Oh…and for the record, I didn’t even hear you say Chapter 2. LOL. Apparently I need to work on emptying AND listening. 😉
Love and prayers,
K
Oh how I agree with you. I still want to hang onto all I have used to try and satisfy me and invite God to complete me fill the empty spots but surrendering their importance to me allows more of Gods love to fill me.
Great analogy, Kimberly! I didn’t even realize I was thinking the same thing about the water “filling in the empty places” until I read what you wrote. I think that is what I have been doing. Instead I need to put those other things somewhere else and fill up with ONLY His living water!
Ditto!
Wow, Kimberly! You said it so well! Me too! Me too! Let’s try to remember that when we’re feeling empty next time, huh?
Mmmmm…I like what you said, Evelyn! “Let’s try to remember that when we’re feeling empty next time.”
I think I have always equated “empty” with negative. But what if I pause and realize, “Hey, this is right where I need to be for God to fill me!” Empty is a beginning, empty is a place of preparation, empty is a sweet place where He can enter in, NOT a negative that I must immediately stuff with…well…stuff. 🙂
I am so glad that you shared this insight. I was thinking the same thing about pouring it in and thought, okay well I guess you can fit more in when all of it is out. I love that Empty doesn’t have to the world’s version of empty. We can now celebrate empty!
Mitzi & Kimberly,
Thanks for sharing your comments. I also have tried to fill up on people and God. I have come to learn that I am to fill up with ONLY His livng water. He truly is enough.
Karen C
Kimberly,
Wow! I’m glad you said that. That is apparently what a lot of us were thinking Renee would do! 🙂 God has been teaching me so many lessons in the last week or two. I need to journal all of this! SO exciting!!
Thanks again, Kimberly!
Bethany
Kimberly,
You could not have said it any better! I can sooo relate to what you’re saying. I did not realize the emptiness was coming from the fact I was looking to everything else in my life for SATISFACTION. What an AHA Moment!!! Thank you for your honest and pure input!
Thank you Rennee!!!
Kimberly, I had the same thought about God’s love being poured over all of those things…going to be working on REMOVING those things from my heart…guarding it so that I don’t miss out on being FULLY SATISFIED! Thank you for sharing
I also needed this today. Throughout the evening yesterday and this morning, when I woke up, I felt something was off. My relationship with God has been getting so much more involved than ever and I feel when I’m away from Him for a bit, I start to feel like I’m losing that feeling. When I’m faced with plans to be around others, I pray that I can “do everything right” – say the right things or not say anything if it’s not needed to be said or not analyze body language from those that surround me – looks or reactions to things I do end up saying. I can beat myself up with it because I “know” my interpretations of it all are right! But, do I?
I just feel so disliked by others sometimes and some days it gets to me more than others. I will allow my feelings to tell me I’m not good enough for people.
It’s when I’m reading your book or Bible verses or seeing your videos that I feel safe. When I’m alone and in my zone with Him. I guess it truly makes me sad that I can’t stay in that zone because it’s rare anything outside of the zone ever satisfies me completely.
I can relate to what you are saying. I beat myself up the same way and have loved the book and Renee right now my life has been turned u[side down and Iam fighting to keep my faith
I can relate to what both of you have said, and I will be praying for you! Marcia, the fact that you are on this blog, reading this book and doing the Bible Study says to me that you are definitely winning that fight. And when you feel like you’re too tired to fight, just ask God to carry you…and trust that He is!
I feel your pain as that very thing was a huge stumbling block for me in my walk with the Lord. Thriugh him you will overcome! I want to encourage you to continue to let Christ fill your heart. At this point in my journey, God taught me to seek his word. His message was loud and clear “Be in the word, stay in the word and the word will stay in you.”. For the situation you described, he lead me to Ephesians 6:13-18. I still consciously put on my “Armour of God” for social situations that are challenging for me!! He is enough!
I so relate to you too! I’ve asked God this week to show me when I’m looking to someone else or something else to give me value. Oh my gosh! I’ve been really struggling with thinking negative thoughts of others towards me! Problems I’ve had with a couple people that aren’t healhty and I had to walk away. I’ve gone through a breakup a couple weeks ago and I feel alone and not sure where i fit in at church and my old group of friends… I don’t do grief well but that’s another story. I kept thinking why is my self talk so bad?! I’m pretty sure I’m not on other’s people’s minds like Satan is trying to convince me I am. Then I realized I asked God to show me when I’m getting my value from others. My mind is always working like that, it’s just that God helped me “hear” it now. So I”m reciting the bible verses we’re learnning, repeating aloud who I am in Christ and I am determined with the help of this book, Renee and this online group, that I will be FREE! I’m asking God several times a day to fill and fullfill me. I want his unfailing love to satisfy me! It will go from my head to my heart. I want to know with all my heart how much God loves me and I want to receive his love. I am so grateful for this online bible study!
This is a new place for you Renata and that is okay. Sometimes when God takes us a to a new place with Him some relationship and circumstances have to change. If you have people you are around that make you feel insecure or bring you down, it’s okay to spend more time with Jesus and getting filled up than you do with them. I’m praying God will show you how to stay close to Him each moment of each day. It’s a process but I have full confidence that you are going to make progress as we walk through each chapter of the book.Just give yourself time and give yourself as much of Jesus as you can. Praying for you!
Thank you, Renee, for desiring to share what Jesus has done with and for you. I think so many times, even as Christians, we know that in our heads but we get so busy “doing” that we forget that HE is the only one who can truly give us the peace and rest and acceptance that we long for. My prayer for this teaching is that others will come to have the transfer of that knowledge from their heads to their hearts as He is doing for me as we go through this study.
Amen! This is exactly what I want – for me to get it from my head to my heart! I love this study and am looking forward to each day to draw close to Him – to learn to depend on Him alone! To be truly satisfied!
Amen, I am praying that with you Dianna – from our head to our hearts Lord – do a transforming work in each of us!
So good to be filled by The right thing this morning! Thanks Renee!
So needed this today…I know Christ is where I need to find my security, but somewhere along the way I replaced Him with things to find my security and identity. He truly is the only place I can go to for true fulfillment!
I love this video…I am all about visuals! I was kinda struggling with the idea of God filling up all of my open spaces in my heart. And with this video it really helped me understand and see if more clearly. Thank you!
Same here, I need to see things. I even tried to “map it out” in my journal which worked, but this helped even more.
Thank you Renee
I do love the video, it help us to visualise were we are in christ and take stock of our daily walk with God.
I was once told that my heart is like an hourglass; no matter how much I am filled up with people’s approval and love, it runs through me like sands through an hourglass. Today, at 58-years-old, I’m still that hourglass. I’m much stronger and more centered in myself, but I still have not found my way to accepting Jesus’ love, and letting that fill me up. If I had, I wouldn’t be using food and constantly dieting, because I have a distorted body image. I’d be comfortable in my skin, no matter what my weight is. But, I’m not. I’m miserable. And I’m sad.
Thank you for being so honest. I feel the same way, never good enough in my mind. But this study is helping me understand that Jesus doesn’t care how good we are, we just need to open up our hearts to Him and let Him fill us with the living water only He can give us.
Leslie,
That’s a very common struggle….using food. When we conquer that we feel so much better physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. We’ll never conquer it focusing on our “problem” but by focusing intentionally on Him. I can relate. We are never too old!
Leslie,
I do agree that as woman we we are surrounded by society’s image of what a woman is to look like and than we find ourselves in a constant battle with the world. I would like to encourage you to do one thing a day that yo enjoy. Maybe its going on a walk, or maybe its reading a book, but during that time, thank God for that moment…..being greatfully present in a moment can turn things around! I promise….I’ve been there. I will defiantly be praying for you
Have you seen the Made to Crave book and DVD….I recommend it alot. It is from Proverbs 31 ministry as well. I think there may be an on-line study of that book going on as well. It has helped me in understanding my on-going issues with food. Hope it might encourage you as well.
Leslie, even if you were skinny you still wouldn’t be worthy based on your own good works. We can never be made right with God by ourself. Jesus stands in the very place of our failures with HIS perfection. HIS righteousness stands in the place of our sins. That’s love….making us right with the Father based on HIS perfection, not ours. He died to give us true worth….HIS worth applied to us as a free gift. 2 Corinthians 5:21
Love to you!
Leslie …
I’m so glad your doing this study and like Joanne said HIS perfection. HIS righteousness! I love ya!
Leslie,
I struggle with much the same as you. I am trying daily to fill myself with the Lord and remember that He and only He can bring the peace and contentment we all so long for!! I think so often, especially for women, it is hard to accept and truly believe His unconditional love for us!
I am so enjoying this study. Renee, I love your honesty and ‘normal’ life that we all share. Life happens, as the saying goes? Thru it all, our God is there holding us up!
Thank you !
Thank you for being honest! I needed to read that.
PrRYING WITH YOU, LESLIE, that as you seek the LORD with all your heart HE will Show you and FILL you with His unfailing Love so you may be satisfied with His sweetness and no longer need food or any other thing. I pray this with confidence in the God who has shown it to me at age 59.
..my exact thoughts…thank you for sharing…and ‘thankful’ of this study, Renee, you all!
I can so relate to what you all are saying. In fact I just read chapter three after a busy and stressful day at work. I’m a nurse on a very busy floor and just had a horrible week-end. I did the very best that I could and managed to send two critically I’ll patients to ICU…but I still felt like a failure. Why is that??? I’m 55 yrs old and an experienced nurse and still struggle with insecurities to some degree at my job. I have to realize that Jesus is my security and wrap my mind around the fact that His love and acceptance is not based upon my performance. Renee, thanks so much for your book. I pray that your mom is doing better. I, too, fell last year and fractured my orbit bone under my right eye. I had 4 plates surgically implanted and doing well..but still numb in that area after 10 months…but it could have been so much worse.
Healthcare is very BUSY and with our aging population promises to get busier with less resources. We can take God’s love to patients and co-workers every day. Healthcare needs nurses like you! We aren’t perfect or always on top of everything but we have a LOT to offer a lost and dying world! Hang in there nurse Dawn!
Dawn,
As a former Critical care nurse I know there are days when even though you did the very best you could to take care of your patients they will continue to deteriorate. It is no reflection on your ability as a nurse. Each morning as I drove in to work I asked God to help me be a shining light of His Love to my patients and their family. Jesus is your security & He loves you no matter how sick your patients become. Praying that your next day at work will be a blessed one!
In His Calm,
Mary
I like the idea of us carrying a jar around to be filled. It reminds me of the 23rd psalm where it says my cup overflows. I have always felt sometimes my cup is half-full, sometimes it’s cracked, and sometimes it’s filled to the brim. But the good shepherd will be there in all all circumstances.
I agree Rebecca…the visual is very powerful. I was moved by seeing that jar full of all of those things and people and had an “aha” moment in seeing how little room is even there for God when we have all of that stuff!
I am guilty of looking to people, commitments, clothes, friends to fill my empty places and feeling frustrated by it not being enough.
Thank you Renee for reminding us and showing us God’s desire for Him to be enough for us. What a blessing and how freeing that realization is!
Renee, “Thank You” for this message. Today, I am going to ask God to help me put my priorities in order. Be Blessed
I am reading ahead to chapter 4 and my thoughts are “let the past make you better, not bitter.
I love that quote Rebecca..something I need to work towards in my life.
We are all in the same place — seeking and finding our true LOVE in Him alone. May He satisfy the thirst and longings of our hearts and give us a desire for HIm that can’t be satisfied by anything or anyone else!