Have you ever been in a relationship you knew was bad but didn’t know how to end it? Whether it is a friend who betrayed us, a boyfriend who ignored us, or a coworker who undermined us, unhealthy relationships are bad for the soul. But there is one relationship that steals potential from all of our ther relationships—including our relationship with ourselves and our relationship with God. It’s our relationship with Perfect.
Perfect is a bad friend. No matter what we do or say or give or take or create…it’s never enough. Perfect always demands more, but it’s never satisfied. Never.
My friend Amy Carroll has written a new book I just love!! And she’s on a mission to help us all break up once and for all with our unfaithful friend: Perfection! And today she stopped by to share her heart and her book with us on my blog – plus she’s giving away a copy too.
“As I rummaged through the damaged store, I hurried toward a colorful decoration that caught my eye. A hurricane had ravaged the seaside store’s merchandise, but there were a few treasures left.
My prize that day was a papier-mâché figure of Santa Clause directing a band of animal musicians. Since my husband was a band director, seeing Jolly Old Saint Nick with his conductor’s baton poised made my heart sing even though it was a balmy North Carolina summer outside.
I carefully carried the figurines to the cash register and made them mine.
Nearly skipping with joy down the sidewalk, suddenly I tripped and dropped my fragile treasures. My face fell with dismay as I peeked inside the bag only to see pieces of Santa and his friends lying jagged and free-floating at the bottom.
When I got home, I gently removed the pieces and lay them out on a table. One by one, I drew a thin line of glue on the narrow edges and began to put them back together.
The results weren’t altogether terrible.
Santa’s pedestal is webbed with cracks and the beaver is missing a leg, but unless guests get too close, they’ll never know the trauma Kris Kringle endured. He’s broken but still beautiful, and a smile stretches across my face each Christmas as I unpack him from his protective box.
Why do I struggle to believe that others could see me the same way?
All of us have a level of brokenness from our own sin nature or from sin leveled against us. We all have cracks of insecurity, shards of sin, and flaws of failure, but for most of my life I’ve wanted to hide mine. I’ve wanted to glaze over my brokenness with a façade of perfection.
If I had found only a perfect Santa acceptable, I would have either tossed him after his fall, or I would have hidden him away in the box with the other outdated, worn-out ornaments.
That’s ok with an object, but we’d never do that to an imperfect person. We’re all in the same boat! So why are we afraid others will do it to us? That maybe God will too?
So we keep others at arm’s length, never allowing anyone to get too close, or we hide behind our walls of shame or false perfection. We try to earn acceptance and love with our just-right words and our thought-out actions, feeling more and more lonely all the time, when in truth…
Authenticity is the antidote for isolation.
Jesus doesn’t despise us in our brokenness, tossing us away or hiding the fact that He loves us. He gently takes our pieces and glues them back together with His grace, compassion, and forgiveness. If we’ll only lay down our masks of perfection and surrender to His perfecting work, Jesus lovingly sets us out for the world to see and claims us as His own.
I’ve been on a journey to break up with perfect, and I’m finding my relationships with others are deeper than ever when I’m real about my flaws. In the process, I’m able to point to Jesus as the Perfect One, our ultimate hero, and I’m resting in the lavish love I’m finding in Him.” ~ Amy Carroll, from her new boo: “Breaking Up With Perfect”
ENTER TO WIN
To celebrate the release of her new book “Breaking Up with Perfect” Amy Carroll is giving a copy away!ARE YOU READY to BREAK UP with PERFECT? If so, leave a comment below this post where entries will be gathered and a winner will be chosen. Please CLICK HERE if you’re reading via email. All comments must be shared on my blog to be entered. THANKS!!
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This is something that I constantly struggle with in my life. I can only focus on God to keep those negative thoughts out of my mind. The closer my relationship with Him, the less of those thoughts I have.
I would love to read this book! I am constantly dealing with feelings of perfectionism. I’ve gotten a little better but still have a long way to go! I would love to win this book! Thanks for all you do. Love reading your emails!
Thank you for writing on such an important topic that I think most of us deal with in today’s world and our everyday. God Bless, look forward to reading 🙂
Oh, how I would love to read this book. I long for the day when I can relax and enjoy life. I miss out on the joy of many activities just because I am focused on things being a certain way. I have a two year old and I don’t want to miss out on his life and fun because I was focused on the wrong things.
Hi, I would love to have this for someone dear to my heart.
Perfection is literally killing me.
Perfection is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. I long for the day when perfection will stop preventing me from trying new things. I am just so scared of failing.
I need to break up with being perfect. Perfection has been my middle name since I was about 8 years old. Being perfect almost cost me my relationship with my daughter about 4 years ago. I would so much love to have this book to read.
What I have read so far from your book really resonated with me. This is something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. Accepting that I will be accepted by God and others regardless of my flaws is a definite work in progress. I’m in hopes your book will make a difference in my effort to accept myself for who I really am, a child of God, ok with all my imperfections.
Ahhhh, so comforting to know I am not alone! Perfection has robbed so much of my life! It’s exhausting! I’ve tried to let go and let God so many times – only to take it back again! Thank you, Amy, for writing this book. And a bigger thank you to all of the ladies who let their facades down to post on this blog! I want to break up with perfection!
Perfection! Almost kept me from commenting, thinking my response could never be good enough.
I would love to read this book and hoping I win. I would have already bought it but do not have enough funds for it. I am the type of person who thinks I am will never be perfect and at sometimes envious of those who look perfect.
I so struggle with this in one specific area of my life, while I would not call myself a people-pleaser, I would say I habitually wear a Mary Poppins mask…she is never cross or cranky, always level-headed and calm and polite. While good manners are never out of fashion, it is exhausting too always be pleasant and happy, but if I am not…? Thanks for write this book Amy! It is so needed!
This book sounds amazing! Reading all the comments so far it sounds like many of us women are in the same boat! And sometimes as a Christian I feel like there is always a little more expectation to be perfect, even though we are under grace. I mean, how many times do we hear about the Proverbs 31 woman? So unattainable. But like many others I want to fix this not for myself, but for my two children. They are growing up in such a time of so much seeming perfection…t.v., Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, moviestars……..Oh how I bathe them in prayer in this area.
Yes PLEASE I would love to read this!!! Definitely a STRUGGLE for me! Thanks God bless!!
My pursuit of perfection nearly ruined my marriage. Instead of letting my husband lead our family with God at the head, my type-A personality and perfectionist nature tried to do both my husband’s and God’s job. I am thankful that God spoke to me and told me that perfection was becoming an idol in my life that was getting in the way of not only my relationship with Him, but with my entire family’s relationship with Him. God is not just good, He is the only PERFECT one.
Oh yes. I need to read this. If only we could all learn to be transparent with one another.
I am a sensitive Impatient perfectionist and drive myself crazy inwardly because I want to portray
nice and don’t want to be mean outwardly…I long for a Christ- like heart that my outside demeanor mirrors my true heart of Agape Love and compassion…
It’s so scary how much I can relate to this brokenness you speak of, always striving for perfection. It’s not fun and I cannot wait to read your book!
I felt like you were talking about me when I read this. Thank you for reminding me that Jesus loves me right where I am at, just how I am. Wow that is comforting. His very best to both of you 🙂