My sweet friend Kimberly has kindly given me permission to share a powerful video her church created based on something God showed her. In openly shares her struggles with condemnation and how they were making her see herself so differently than God does. When I watching this months ago, I knew I wanted to make it part of week 7 as we read Chapter 7, When Doubt Whispers “You’re Such a Failure”! Whether you are in my online study or not, this is a message for each of us.
Once you watch the (less than 2 minute) video message, please read what Kim wrote below about the way God spoke to her heart about His thoughts towards us, our failures and flaws. I pray it blesses you as much as it blessed me! {If you are reading this via email, PLEASE double click on the title of this post “How Can God use Me? to go to my website to watch the video and connect in community.)
A few years ago, if you would have asked me if I believed that God loved me, I would have told you, “Yes.” Realizing His great love for me has been one of the sweetest truths I have ever come to know.
BUT, if you had asked me if I believed God could use me or would even WANT to use me… well, I would have hemmed and hawed and never really landed on an exact yes or no. Why? Because I felt unusable. My sins and mistakes disqualified me. I looked at myself and saw all of my flaws. I saw deep insecurities. I saw my too often short temper. I saw a lack of discipline, a lack of Biblical knowledge. I saw lack upon lack, failure upon failure.
“Jesus loves me? Yes. He died for me. But Jesus would like to use me. Ummmm…seriously? I think not.”
I love how He corrects our wrong thinking through His Word.
As I sat reading the Bible one day, heart heavy from discouragement, God led me to read John 3:17. It comes right after John 3:16, one of the earliest verses we ever learn about how God loved the world so much He sent His only Son Jesus to die for us so that, believing in Him, we could have eternal life. John 3:17 goes on to tell us more:
“For God did not send His Son Jesus into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”
I felt the Lord urging me to look up the definition the words “condemn.”
Condemn- 1. to pass an adverse judgement on; disapprove of strongly, censure; 2. a) to declare to be guilty of wrongdoing; convict b) to pass judicial sentence on; inflict a penalty upon c) to doom; 3. to declare (property) legally appropriated for public use; 4. to declare unfit for use or service. (Webster’s Dictionary)
That was exactly how I felt. Unsafe. Unlovely. Unusable.
Convinced that Jesus wanted to wrap caution tape around my life to keep people back. “Stay away from this one. I love her, but she’s still too messed up to be of any use to me. Better stand clear of her.”
The words of John 3:17 coupled with the last definition released a flood of truth and healing over my heart. The Father was whispering tenderly to me. He did not see me as I saw myself. He did not see a condemned building…someone dangerous. Someone unlovely. Someone unusable. He saw someone He loved so much that He would send His only Son to die a shameful and excruciating death for her. He sent His Son to save me. To forgive me. To heal me. To set me free, fill me up, and USE me.
The tears began to flow as He let me know that I am usable. And not only does He find me usable. He wants to use me. I am not the same woman I was 13 years ago.
- I have been forgiven of all of my sins. (1 John 1:9) (even the “big bad” ones)
- I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
- I am complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10)
- I have purpose in Him. (Ephesians 2:10)
Let these sweet truths wash over you today. Jesus did not come to label you unusable. He loves you and He has a purpose for your life that is of great use to His kingdom!
***
Thank you so much Kimberly for sharing your heart and being so honest with us today. I got so much encouragement from your video and writing. So many of us can relate to what you shared.
Let’s Connect: So friends…How about you? Do you believe God loves you, yet struggle to believe He could ever use you? Do you struggle to believe He would want to use you as you look at all of your sins, flaws and failures? . I’m so thankful Kimberly set the stage for some real life transparency today.
(And after you leave a little note here, would you take a minute to hop over to Kimberly‘s blog to read more of her thoughts from A Confident Heart. She’s posting something God shows her in each chapter on her blog each week.)
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There are some interesting points in time in this article but I don’t know if I see all of them center to heart. There is some validity but I will take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we want more! Added to FeedBurner as well you have a great blog here! would you like to make some invite posts on my blog?
F..ake
E…vidence
A….ppearing
R…eal
Fear has held us captive for way too long. It’s not real and not from God! It only exists in our own heads..Why do we drive ourselves crazy over situations that don’t even exist? (not even exist “yet”) just DON’T EXIST!
If we really take on 2 Timothy 1:7 we would realize that fear is from the enemy of our soul but it’s US who give that fear it’s fuel. It has us feeling insecure out of FEAR of being rejected, FEAR of being misunderstand, FEAR of being judged. But wait! Those situations don’t exist!!!! Snap out of it! lol..God loves you and has great plans for you, plans to prosper you, NOT to harm you. You’re God’s best! Who cares about the rest? If God doesn’t condemn you, you’re not condemned!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!
Beautiful! What a beautiful message! Thank you so much for this!
God knew I “needed” to read this … as much as I don’t even want to admit this, I haven’t been participating in this study like I intended to. I have to book laying right here on my desk and I have all of the emails filed in their own special folder.
I will be completely transparent here … I have been SO BLESSED by the Lord, but I always question, “Why me, Lord? What have I done to deserve this?” I’m really struggling with the “why” — all I can think about is how many times I have failed Him. How many times I have let Him down.
My life has changed dramatically (all for the good, praise the Lord!!) in the past 3 years and it’s such a blessing from God — but I have a hard time accepting the blessings. On the other hand, my passion is helping others; and, I am actually ABLE to help others now which is such a great feeling!! Maybe I just found the answer? Although I still feel like I am trying to find my “purpose” and my “talents” and I really want to hear what FROM God what He wants me to do … I need to hear His voice!!
Oh goodness — I rambled on, didn’t I? Thank you again for this message. It was beautiful and so are you!!
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this! I AM USABLE! 🙂
Thank you for this post….I AM GOOD ENOUGH!!!!
This on-line bible study has been such a sweet blessing!!!!! I can see it changing my thoughts, feelings, and ultimately changing not only MY life, but my families lives’!!! Hence the quote, “if Momma aint happy, nobody happy.”
I can definitely relate to Kimberly. I know God loves me, but have really struggled with believing He can or would even want to use me. Definitely needed to hear this.
This week I am focusing on expectations that are life-giving, not life- draining. Realizing that God’s expectations of me are the one’s that matter the most.
Just watched the video this morning as I sit in the quietness before things get busy. God led me to this this morning as it has hit me hard. God knew I needed to be watching and reading this this morning. I pray the truths you have shared will settle over me as these are so much the same struggles I am in the middle of right this moment in my life. Thank you for your transparency.
Oh so sorry Renee…I just realized I posted from chapter 8…I started reading yesterday and forgot that we are talking about ch 7….:(
Beautiful Katy…Can I share it on My Create Your Own Rainbow FB page???
I so know that feeling also Angie, I have so much more than so many…In my life I am rich, not by any means financially, but with so many things that God has given me…It causes me to feel guilty and shameful, which are both things God does not want me to feel, nor should a woman with “A Confident Heart” feel…But as we learn and grown on this life journey we will get closer to God’s truth about us, closer to being the women God has called us to be. I know what gifts God has given me, but I almost tie with the personality profile. I have seen that many times beforeand it frustrates me! I am a combination of “Melancholy and Sanguine”…they are almost opposite of each other!! That shows why I feel so out of balance all the time…Anyway, thanks for all of you ladies and all your encouragement and sameness in heart and spirit…Is sameness a word???? LOL!!! love to all of you…
Hi all
A week behind and sorry to say that I have glimpsed at many of the comments over the past couple of months thinking I fell like that, or yep, that’s where I’m at. So I apologize Peggybythesea for not see your posts earlier about substance abuse. For I thought I had closed the door on many of my substance abuses. I have found them creeping back in when I isolate from church or others in recovery. After church today and hearing testimonies of conquering. , one stood out and really touched me. It was the shame of a divorce I wanted for very selfish reasons “to find myself…I said, and I found my self having gone the way of sin..further than I wanted to go and cost me a lot more, financially, emotionally, beaten and tattered. I was finding myself stll beating my self up over this until this afternoon, I was given the word “enough”. I have the victories and promises of the Cross.
I have had “enough” :
of being robbed of my light and joy
of being raped by Satan’s ploy
I have been given “enough”:
strength to see a “new”day
and the sight to see the Way.
Thank- you Jesus!!
Thanks to you Sisters, and happy to hear God’s plan work out for you Renee!
Dear Sister Peggy please use the poem in every attempt to encourage others. Yet, it will be the holy spirit that does it and I praise and thank Him!
Thank you Renee and Kimberly. My heart has been blessed. God has given each of us abilities to discover and use for Him. Sometimes it feels that we are disposable but, it is comforting to know that we are each unique and have not been condemned and claimed disposable. Praise and thanks to JESUS. Here is a poem that recently came to me –
Walk On
Walk on when your life is lonely
Walk on when your hearts full of fear
Walk on when your soul cries for answers
Walk on for the Lord is still near
He clears the path of life’s troubles
He chooses the pace of each step
He leads you lovingly forward to….
His grace and His intercept
You worry and fear?
You feel downcast?
Your only need is Jesus
You only have to ask.
P ray and you’ll find His power
A nd give up your will to Him
I n Him you’ll find acceptance and
D ecidedly, you will know – You are home.
Walk on…………. Walk on
Thank you Katy – what an awesome poem. and thanks Kimberley for sharing – I’m not surprised there are so many comments as we all struggle with this very issue. It frustrates me that I can feel like this when I have so much to be thankful for! I too was feeling discouraged today but thought of 2 Cor 5:17 – such an encouragement to have all these other verses too. While reading this, I found another clip from Restoration Church encouraging the women of God… such truth we must hold on to!
Thank you, Katy! I needed to read this. I am putting my trust in Him! I know that I am going to be fine no matter what! Thanks to all for praying for each other. I know I need it and all of us need prayer from our friends.
Love in Christ,
Kimberly Stiver
Kimberly thank you so much for your sweet words. They are like a balm to sooth my parched mind of self doubts and insecurities.
I pray for you my dear sister Kimberly that you will have complete healing, that you will rest your body and find rest for your soul, “Fearnot, for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God, I will help you, I will strengthen you…I will uphold you with me righteous right hand.”…God bless you my sweet sister…
I am so sorry I forgot the address of that Scripture..I have it in my memory but not where it is…Does anyone know…???
I am so grateful for this study, it is difficult though…I have been through this type so many times…Renee, your sweet spirit and loving way and knowledgable teaching and friendship make it all worth doing again. Especially because I always seem to find out I have not healed from so much in my life…Just not sure I want to keep revisiting all of it…I press on, In Jesus Name…
Peggybythesea,
Thank you for praying for me and giving me this Bible verse. I too remember this one but didn’t know where it was at. So, I looked it up online. It’s Isaiah 41:10.
God is with me and all of us when we go through the different things we go through. We just need to ask Him to help us. I have asked Him many times these past few weeks. I have a peace now that only God can give me.
In Christ Love,
Kimberly Stiver
Kimberly, i know you will be in the prayers of the ladies in this bible study. We do have something special in this study, a loving, sharing, helping, encouraging heartfelt comaraderie of sisters. You will be in my prayers, Kimberly, for His best for you in this health challenge.
Oh Kimberly…Thank you for reminding me, I had also printed out some Scriptures that are encouraging when we are worried or afraid…I went to add this one to it and of course this one was on there!! Right there with the address!! This mind of mine!!! I am just grateful I know some by memory to say without having to know where they are in the Bible, but its best I learn the address also for when I want to share it…
I am happy that you feel peace..You are in the hands of God, physically and otherwise, He guides the Doctors and He tries to guide us, we just need to let Him. I have to remember to, because this sinner saved by grace tries to fix it all, He is the one who fixes and restores…the best thing I can do is pray and I will gladly pray for you. Please let us know how things turn out and your progress to full health…
God Bless…Peggy
Dear friends,
I just wanted to let you know what is going on with me, lately. Since being in the ER a week ago with my kidney pain, I found out yesterday that the only option at this time (trying to make an appt. with the urologist to see if there is any other options) is for the Dr. to remove my 2nd kidney. Which will leave me with no kidneys at all and having to stay on dialysis until or if they find me a transplant. This has been really hard on me and my family. I knew they wanted to remove this kidney all along, but they wanted to wait until I got a living donor, the problem is that I do not have a living donor that is healthy at this time. Why I have had such a hard time with hurting all the time and not being able to eat a lot is because my kidney has grown from 17.5 cm by 10 cm wide to 20 cm by 12 cm wide in just two months. If it gets any larger it will shut down the rest of my organs because there will be no more room. Please pray for me and my family. I went to my dad’s and step-mom’s house yesterday, and told them and my dad only stayed for less than 5 minutes and said he was going into town. After he left, my step-mom said you know he is having a hard time dealing with all of this and I know he is. I know God is with me every step of the way and no matter what everything will be good.
I am going to try really hard to get caught up in this class and my other class I have. This and making the crosses I am doing has really helped me to come to understanding what is going on and that God is showing me to still live life to the fullest and that is what I am going to do.
I treasure this time we have together in this class. All of you are a blessing to me.
Praying for you, Kimberly!!! And thanking the Lord that He is Jehovah Rapha, the Lord your Healer…that He is Jehovah Shalom, the Lord your Peace…that He is Jehovah Jireh, the Lord your Provider. I am so sorry you are having to walk through this, but I am SO glad you know you are not walking through this alone…that God is indeed with you every step of the way!
Thank you all.
I do see that God is my healer and my peace.
Love,
Kimberly Stiver
Today I was sharing with my fiance about how I want to be taken seriously. How I’ve always felt either despised or viewed as amusing, but never taken seriously. Never one having authority. And God is calling me to do something for Him and I’m so insecure because who would ever take me seriously?
Then God showed me through another blog how He has His people places, how He’s set it all up.
Then I came to Kimberly’s blog and then here and I can just tell God’s weaving it all together to show me I can be confident in Him. He can and He will use me, if I offer my heart.
Hi, precious, precious women of God!
I just want to take a minute to say a HUGE thank you to you all! You made me feel so very welcome here at Renee’s place! My heart has been so BLESSED by your willingness to be so transparent. I think knowing we are NOT alone is such a huge part of the healing process. So thank you, thank you for boldly sharing your beautiful hearts.
I am SO excited about moving forward in Renee’s book. It is so encouraging! So equipping! I felt led to share one or two things on this battle with feeling condemned and unusable before we move on to the next chapter. 🙂
First, I pray that you know that YOU are NOT an embarrassment to God. I don’t care what you have done. I don’t care how far you have fallen. I don’t care how messy your mess is. You. Are. NOT. An. Embarrassment. He knows we are dust. (“As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.” Psalm 103:13-14) He already knows you are weak and you need Him. So let’s QUIT believing the LIE that we are an embarrassment to Him with our many faults and failures.
I pray that God helps each of us see that He created us because He WANTED to. He didn’t HAVE to make you, friend. He WANTED to. You. Are. Wanted.
I pray He helps each of us see that we are loved fiercely, passionately and completely by our God. You. Are. Loved!!!! Stop trying to talk Him out of loving you by listing all of your failures. RECEIVE His unconditional love for you.
I pray that He helps you grasp the sweet truth of John 15:16…”“You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain…” John 15:16
HE chose YOU. He chose you and He WANTS to use you! His plan for your life is fruitfulness! 🙂
We are wanted. We are loved. We are chosen. We ARE usable. 🙂 YOU are USABLE!!!
I have loved this time with you. Love, love, loved it! Thank you, again, for welcoming me here. I am sincere when I say you have a place in my heart! We gals who battle with insecurity, we have to stick together and build one another up!
Love and prayers,
K 🙂
thank you Kimberly for your words of encouragement. I AM WANTED and USABLE!!! and most of all, LOVED!!!
Wow, forgive a late arrival, I have just begun on Ch 1, and am answering the reflection questions now. But I had to come say hi and listen to the video. Kimberly thank you for sharing. There have been times i have felt condemned unusable and unsure. But as I look back at my life I can see I wasn’t always this soon to be that way. I love God and know that He loves me, but in the mist of living I forgot that to a degree. I so want that confidence back, and be usable to God. I know I’m late, but I am posting under the chapter I’m doing, Just posted under chapter one, and may add more on my blog – which i will put here if you are interested. Off I go to finish my questions, have a great night / day
Debi
Unusable is one of the lies and fears I have lived with for over 20 years. This is beautiful truth here, Kimberly!! Thank you for sharing. The truth is none of us are fit for service…but He made us for service and we are qualified in Him. Wonderful news for messed up people like me.
God does not call the equipped, but equips those he calls.
This post really spoke to me. It showed me how much I was condemning myself, thinking I was unfit for God’s service, and how much I actually believed it. How wonderful to know that God thinks the exact opposite about me! The things He allowed me to go through will actually make me better equipped to do what He has planned for me – they do not make me unusable. Amazing.
Thank you Kimberly. I oftentimes I feel insecure about everything, whether I can’t speak well, I don’t dress well. I am often reminded of what I have been through and know that God was with me through them all. Insecurity is one that the devil really knows how to play well. But I am so glad that God does not see in me what I see and what man sees. I now realize that He wants me to be secure in Him and not in the things of this world. He doesn’t condemn me but rather I condemn myself and until I realize that God can use anyone in His time, it will all be fine. Thank you so much Kimberly and Renee!!!
WOW!! Yes, this is exactly how I have been feeling, unusable. Can God really use me? Why would He want to? Yes, I know that He loves me and died for me, but use me? This will be my heart cry this week. What is it Lord?
I so know how you feel Yolanda…Thank you for your heart…He does use us…We are clay pots, cracked and broken but He uses us still…I have to believe that this week also my sweet sister…
Thanks You for this post today. I like many of you struggle with insecurities and sins that make me feel unworthy of service or being used by Him. I feel hopeful that I can believe the truth that I know to be true and that God has written on my heart! I pray that he will lead me and that I will be open and with His strength be strong to follow. As I enter this new chapter of my life I want to live in His light and let it shine so others may come to know him also. You are truely a blessing to me I am so glad God lead me to this study! <3
Thankyou for sharing this video, I love the comparison to an empty condemned house, I ask that God will fill my heart with the knowing that I am usable by Him and for Him. He will never condemn me but will lift me up to Him.
I live daily by “Jesus loves me this I know”. And for me, no matter how good life is or what struggles I face, I live confidently knowing that.
Renee, you were right a couple of weeks ago when you said God has you exactly in the book where He wants you. I am in week 7, and He led me to begin reading it early this morning! I have beat myself up over and over this week for failures. Between me and the accuser, I felt completely condemned, unlovely, and everything else negative! God loves me and His sovereignty amazes me. I just finished writing out two pages in my journal. He came to heal me. He came for everything. He came to heal me of all my stuff. I am thankful He sees my potential. He knows exactly what we need when we need it. While I am here, I am reminded of a story I heard last week that I need to share and I hope it encourages! My dear friend lost her husband to cancer about two years ago. Valentines Day was a special day and he always got her roses and spoiled her. She awoke knowing it would be a heavy day so she was determined to stay busy. She started missing him so she put on his coat, and just kept doing things around the house wearing it. She then found herself sitting in his chair snuggled up in the coat. She must have dozed off because the doorbell rang and woke her up. It was the florist with a dozen red roses and a card that said, happy valentines day, i love you – Quil. She knew God was behind it and that her son must have done it so she called him to thank him. He said mom, I am going to be honest with you, at 8:30 this morning I was driving along and heard dad say as clear as a bell, Kevin, order your mama some roses for Valentines Day and tell her I love her. He said he immediately pulled off the highway and thought, how am I going to get flowers wired on VAlentines Day, its no way they will have any but lo and behold, it worked out. God is so good. He knew exactly what she needed when she needed it and He supplied. Isn’t He so good? She said that an author she was reading stated this in a book when asked how she was doing – “My God is good to me”. She said she was going to start using that exact statement when asked. You know, we all should as well. Our God is good to us! He knew what I needed this morning, downtrodden and discouraged and deteated, He reached down and put chapter 7 on my heart and inspired me to read it this very day. My God is good to me! Amen?? Amen!! I praise Him!!
I just have to say to THANK YOU, THANK YOU and THANK YOU.Your words have truly blessed me today reading them brought tears down my eyes because that’s how I was strongly feeling today. I was at work feeling like what is my purpose am I ever going to prosper in life? Why am I here on earth? Can I really do all things through Christ who strengthen me? Do I really believe that Jesus is the strength of my heart and my portion forever? This energy of doubt, discouragement , unworthy and purposeless was so strong within me that when a co worker stated something about hope, I could not believe it. And I went on break just thinking… I say I love Jesus and that He is my living Savior.How can this be what came over me? I couldn’t believe the mental state I was in. However getting in from work and reading your words spoke to my very soul. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THEM! GOD HAS TRULY BLESSED YOU! BE BLESSED! I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AS I HOPE YOU PRAY FOR ME!
I read this post right after coming here from Wendy Blight’s blog! Her post for today was great and discussed how our identities should be based on what God sees in us!
Remember, we are ALL created with purpose to do great works for God’s Kingdom. (Ephesians 2:10).
(I need to remind myself of that frequently!)
Hi precious friends!! Oh how full my heart is reading your comments late tonight as I get ready for bed. I’ve been traveling all day and the drama of my week didn’t stop when I got to the airport. We got calls saying our flight was delayed by an hour but when we got to the airport it was back on schedule and we missed it. So we waited 3 hours for the next one. Then we flew through crazy storms, got to PA at 3:40 and the baggage compartment of the plane wouldn’t open. So we sat in baggage claims until 5:30 waiting to see if they would get our luggage out. I was asking for a crowbar to help them but they didn’t take me up on it. Have you ever heard of a baggage compartment getting stuck closed? I made the most of the time working on some things for my event and one coming up. All the while the clock was ticking down. We finally got our luggage and headed to Tuscarora. Arrived with less than 2 hours to find our way around the conference center, meet with the production team, grab dinner, change clothes in the bathroom and the event began!!
And it was SO MUCH FUN!! I could feel God’s Spirit fill that place and sense His encouragement and grace pouring out and into each heart. It is a great group of women and I’m so looking forward to what He’s got planned this weekend. There were a few times this week I was ready to quit. Ready to take up a friends offer to come and speak in my place. Ready to call it quits and see all this craziness as a sign that it must be time for me to stop this speaking and traveling gig because there are way too many obstacles for one person and her worn-out family to endure. BUT GOD!! I didn’t sense that was His plan – although it felt like it should be mine. I’m so glad He made a way where it seemed there would be no way I could get here and be used by HIM this weekend.
And yet I am. ANd then tonight. To come online and pull up a chair while Im in my jambes to hang out here with you. To see how God is speaking to you so personally and powerfully and specifically through Kim’s video and writing – it just fills in the all the gaps I’ve felt this week.
A few of you mentioned how we really have something special here. We do.I”m so glad God us together to experience intimacy with HIM and transparency with each other.
I just want you to know that He wants you to persevere in believing Him. HE’s crazy in love with you and He wants to use you to love on, encourage, pray for, minister to others- THAT is how He can and wants to use you– today. It does’t have or need to be big and measurable by others. HE simply wants us to be faithful with whatever HE puts right in front of us. Just offer Him what you have and invite Him to use it. ALl in His name and for the purpose of letting HIM use you to reveal His love and His ways to those around you.
And remember, you have a big old group of women who love you, who are praying for you and who are so glad you are here. AND the biggest one is me!! You bless me so!!
Renee, i so love when you encourage us: that He can and wants to use us in whatever He puts right in front of us today, (tonight, tomorrow), offering Him what we have and invite Him to use it. He has the big view of how important this is, and can be, to someone in need. Thank you!
I know i have to give him all my self doubt in order to be free!
Beauty for Ashes, i need to release my Ashes( all self doubt, fear, hurt, wounds of the heart, worthlessness)
for the Beauty of a life God has promised me & you…..