My sweet friend Kimberly has kindly given me permission to share a powerful video her church created based on something God showed her. In openly shares her struggles with condemnation and how they were making her see herself so differently than God does. When I watching this months ago, I knew I wanted to make it part of week 7 as we read Chapter 7, When Doubt Whispers “You’re Such a Failure”! Whether you are in my online study or not, this is a message for each of us.
Once you watch the (less than 2 minute) video message, please read what Kim wrote below about the way God spoke to her heart about His thoughts towards us, our failures and flaws. I pray it blesses you as much as it blessed me! {If you are reading this via email, PLEASE double click on the title of this post “How Can God use Me? to go to my website to watch the video and connect in community.)
A few years ago, if you would have asked me if I believed that God loved me, I would have told you, “Yes.” Realizing His great love for me has been one of the sweetest truths I have ever come to know.
BUT, if you had asked me if I believed God could use me or would even WANT to use me… well, I would have hemmed and hawed and never really landed on an exact yes or no. Why? Because I felt unusable. My sins and mistakes disqualified me. I looked at myself and saw all of my flaws. I saw deep insecurities. I saw my too often short temper. I saw a lack of discipline, a lack of Biblical knowledge. I saw lack upon lack, failure upon failure.
“Jesus loves me? Yes. He died for me. But Jesus would like to use me. Ummmm…seriously? I think not.”
I love how He corrects our wrong thinking through His Word.
As I sat reading the Bible one day, heart heavy from discouragement, God led me to read John 3:17. It comes right after John 3:16, one of the earliest verses we ever learn about how God loved the world so much He sent His only Son Jesus to die for us so that, believing in Him, we could have eternal life. John 3:17 goes on to tell us more:
“For God did not send His Son Jesus into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”
I felt the Lord urging me to look up the definition the words “condemn.”
Condemn- 1. to pass an adverse judgement on; disapprove of strongly, censure; 2. a) to declare to be guilty of wrongdoing; convict b) to pass judicial sentence on; inflict a penalty upon c) to doom; 3. to declare (property) legally appropriated for public use; 4. to declare unfit for use or service. (Webster’s Dictionary)
That was exactly how I felt. Unsafe. Unlovely. Unusable.
Convinced that Jesus wanted to wrap caution tape around my life to keep people back. “Stay away from this one. I love her, but she’s still too messed up to be of any use to me. Better stand clear of her.”
The words of John 3:17 coupled with the last definition released a flood of truth and healing over my heart. The Father was whispering tenderly to me. He did not see me as I saw myself. He did not see a condemned building…someone dangerous. Someone unlovely. Someone unusable. He saw someone He loved so much that He would send His only Son to die a shameful and excruciating death for her. He sent His Son to save me. To forgive me. To heal me. To set me free, fill me up, and USE me.
The tears began to flow as He let me know that I am usable. And not only does He find me usable. He wants to use me. I am not the same woman I was 13 years ago.
- I have been forgiven of all of my sins. (1 John 1:9) (even the “big bad” ones)
- I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
- I am complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10)
- I have purpose in Him. (Ephesians 2:10)
Let these sweet truths wash over you today. Jesus did not come to label you unusable. He loves you and He has a purpose for your life that is of great use to His kingdom!
***
Thank you so much Kimberly for sharing your heart and being so honest with us today. I got so much encouragement from your video and writing. So many of us can relate to what you shared.
Let’s Connect: So friends…How about you? Do you believe God loves you, yet struggle to believe He could ever use you? Do you struggle to believe He would want to use you as you look at all of your sins, flaws and failures? . I’m so thankful Kimberly set the stage for some real life transparency today.
(And after you leave a little note here, would you take a minute to hop over to Kimberly‘s blog to read more of her thoughts from A Confident Heart. She’s posting something God shows her in each chapter on her blog each week.)
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I have had several moments in my life where I have allowed Satan’s lies to overtake God’s truth…in Chapter 7 Renee gives a perfect explanation of how to discern condemnation from Satan with conviction from the Holy Spirit. After an unhealthy marriage of spiritual warfare from emotional abuse that later led to physical abuse, coupled with infidelity, I struggled with thinking I was “loved” by God only but I was not worthy enough to be loved on this earth. Being yoked together with an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14) led me into dark moments, moments that I am so grateful that God shed the light on constantly, never giving up on me, never leaving me….but still I struggled. Satan found ways to whisper lies…lies that I wasn’t good enough. When God led me to the opportunity of being a FCA huddle coach, I heard the condemnation, I wasn’t good enough, I was a sinner…how can a divorced, single mother lead teenagers towards Christ. I was ashamed, I was embarassed, how can I be a light? I am so grateful that I could and can come to God and he shows me His promises for me…that He has begun a new work in me and that He has a hope for my future AND I am so grateful that God uses me everyday because through Him ALL things work for good…I am so grateful that I have His truth to combat the lies!
I am so thankful you are fighting Satan’s lies with God’s truths! It is so easy to believe the lie that we ourselves have to be perfect or have to have a perfect past to be usable by God. But that just isn’t true. So thankful He uses earthen vessels like us!!! “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves.” 2 Cor. 4:7
Blessings to you as you teach these girls that we serve a God who is loving, forgiving, merciful, and true! Satan wants to tell us our past disqualifies us. But God wants to use our past to help us reach others in His name!
Yes I believe God loves me. He shows it over and over again. However, I don’t feel like I’m very important for God to use. Espically in BIG things. I haven’t had an extremely pleasant past nor was it unbelievably horrible. It just was. I don’t see anything worth sharing in my past nothing ground breaking or Earth shattering. Do I believe God can use me? YES Will He? well IDK
Hi, Chastity! Thank you so much for stopping by AND for sharing your heart so openly. I think I often times get tripped up on that word BIG myself. Wanting to do something BIG for God. But not too long ago, He spoke to my heart about actually being small. On instead of focusing on wanting to do something big, to be small…as in to be used by Him right where I am. Loving those around me well. To live my life right where I am with joy, passion, and fervent love. To be small and leave the rest to Him.
I feel sure He already IS using you. Right where you are. You ARE important. Truly. He created you because He has purpose for you. You are needed in the lives you touch daily. You have a unique design put in place by your Creator. Praying He helps you see just how important you are! Some of the most important people in my life would not be considered anything big by anyone else, and yet God uses them mightily in my life. I know He will use you mightily, too.
Blessings,
K 🙂
Beautifully put, Kimberly. Thank You!
I have always felt “not good enough” Many hurts run through my mind, but I am now conscious of them, I don’t Have to think them. God loves me, and while some thoughts are true, God’s Word is Always true, that I am accepted by Him, secure in His love, and nothing I do will surprize Him. He knew what He was getting when He called me. I am humbled that He wants to use me, that His patience and faithfulness is always present and He Wants me to succeed in HIM.
Thanks for the video reminder and for this online study. May God continue to bless you both as He uses your insights to encourage others to follow HIM more closely.
Every good and perfect gift is from the Father….Thank you for Jesus’ love for us.
Kim & Renee, Thank you very much for your video & post. I struggle daily with the idea God wants to use me. I have no special talents; although I am learning through this amazing bible study & my daily talks with God, His use for me can be in almost anything.
Thank you both!
Stephanie
Hi, sweet Stephanie! I am sitting here tonight reading back through comments, and I just have to respond to yours. I have to admit, I was a bit bothered to read the words “I have no special talents.” I think it bothers me so much because I have heard my precious and wonderful husband use those same words. Because he does not have talents he considers special (i.e. things the world would label special…playing music, skill at making things, etc, etc,) he has seen no value in how God created him. But I see such value in him! And I know there is great value and incredible gifts in you, as well!
When my husband had to take a spiritual gifts test at my church, we saw that his gifts were quieter kinds of gifts…serving, giving…ones that others may not be quick to notice but ones that are vital in God’s kingdom. And I KNOW, KNOW, KNOW that God has placed in YOU gifts and talents vital to His kingdom. I cannot wait for you to read Chapter 8 of Renee’s book….When Doubt Whispers “I Don’t Have Anything Special to Offer’. One of the underlined and starred quotes I LOVE from that chapter is “God deliberately gave you the personality He wanted you to have so He could impact certain people through your life.” How awesome!!!
He wants to use you, Stephanie. He created you because He wanted you and He created you with PURPOSE! Praying He gives you sweet revelation of how much He loves you and wants to use you!
Hugs to you!
K 🙂
Kimberly, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It has been a blessing to so many. I am also thankful that you shared there are quieter gifts from the Lord that are so vital in God’s Kingdom. Thank you.
Hey, I’ve been having internet issues, so I’m very thankful to be able to get on today and see this video. It is so great! I’ve felt like that I’ve had caution tape wrapped around me, I think that it part of the reason I find it hard to make true Godly friends. I feel I’m not good enough smart enough, etc. Thanks so much for your insights today. Blessings,
Michele
It is so refreshing to me to know I am not alone. I am amongst a large family of “sisters”. Thank you, God, for that opportunity. We all have different journeys yet so often the feeling of God loving us because He has to….not because we have something good to offer, or that He purely chooses to, rings true for so many of us.
Every time I read comments on this blog or listen to your messages, Renee, my heart swells with love and acceptance!
God Bless!
Whenever I think if the verse: “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” I think of Ketchup. Every time I came back from town, with my groceries I felt condemnation for not making the best choices or buying everything that we needed. Our income is small and we never had enough for 6 people. (But God has blessed us through the years and I have 4 healthy kids making healthy food choices, so I have no complaints.)
So, one day I forgot Ketchup and my husband unaware of the condemnation he was heaping on me blew up. I rose my head and recited that verse. He was taken aback. He was not aware of the condemnation I was holding.
I have to regularly remind myself, as this is an area that my heart has many scares. I never could measure up to any standard. Even my “gifts” were odd to people and though I was showcased sometimes, it was with a bit of “freak show” added to my character. I have a daughter who is high functioning autistic and because of all I went through I have spent the last 20 years helping her to have confidence in what she does and guess what? She is the best little diesel mechanic graduating at her college this year. What were dysfunctions in her growing up years have been turned to assets in her field.
Meanwhile, I went back to college. I worked with a career fair yesterday to tell High School kids about going to college and working in my new chosen field. I knew new confidence that I give to Christ. This study has helped me firm the foundation.
WOW…just wow…I just realized how I had prayed a while back for a group of women who would be ‘REAL’…who would share their true hearts…their struggles…their fears…their doubts…well…you know…the list could go on and on!
Talk about being ‘bonked’ on the head…God sent you guys to be that group of women for me!
I have struggled for YEARS with feeling inadequate around the women that I go to Church with…they are sooooooooo much better than I am…really…I still really believe this. They do not share their hearts like you guys have…they are more concerned about how women gossip…which…yes…I do understand that…but at what point does one get past the ‘gossiping’ and realize that we really need to be REAL with each other?!? We really need to support and encourage one another…Scripture mentions this often…to lift each other up in prayer…to encourage one another!
THANKS be to God for you Kimberly and Renee and all the other women out there who are willing to just be ‘REAL’!
God bless you all!
Thank you for sharing Kimberly. I too have battled with perfectionism and my failures. I have wasted a lot of time but God is beginning to heal and using tThe Confident Heart to teach me how to fight the enemy. I am sooooooo thankful God heals the broken and breaks through our lies to restore us. Praise Him!
Thank you for sharing Kimberly and for being so transparent… I struggle with being transparent at times trying to be perfect, all the while knowing that I am not perfect by no means. I am truly a mess HE is working into HIS masterpiece~
My identity and confidence was shaken at an early age of 2 1/2 when my mother left me to never return. As I got older I began to deal with the issues that comes from child abandonment syndrome and GOD lead me down the path of true forgiveness. HE told me to truly let the past go I had to forgive my mother for abandoning me. At first I resisted then HE gently whispered to me I forgave you now you need to forgive her. GOD also showed me how much pain my mother must have been in to leave her only child behind, not knowing where I would end up. (I was in an abusive home and the foster care system)
There are days that I am so confident of who I am in CHRIST and there are days like today when my body aches so much from Fibromyalgia that I wonder how could GOD use me like this. Then HE brings beautiful peple like you and Renee into my life via internet and it realigns my focus once again!
Thank you to ALL the ladies who courageously share their story here and may each of you be blessed beyond measure. May you feel the warmth of our FATHERS love as you walk this journey.
Blessings and Peace
Mariaz
I just had a conversation with a close friend yesterday about this topic. I am right now living out a miraculous blessing of a long-awaited trip to Disneyland, with my daughter, a close friend of mine, and four of her daughters. The circumstances leading to this trip have been beyond AMAZING!
However, I have been struggling with the depression that has had an iron grip on my life for so many years. With depression and exhaustions a temptation to drink. I have never been a heavy drinker, but the mere fact that I turn to alcohol in times of exhaustion or depression or stress, and the fact that I mainly drink alone, churns up feelings of pent up shame.
“How can I claim to be following Jesus, when I so easily turn away from Him?” Part of this answer is the shame that my desire to drink also churns up in me. Satan tells me to just drown out that shame. A drink or two won’t hurt. You’ll feel better.” However, the most insidious part of Satan’s temptations is that he throws it back in my face when I give in. “See, you think you love God? You believe He loves you? If you truly believed that, then you wouldn’t need to drink. You are unfit for God to use. You are useless. You are defective.” The accusations are relentless.
I just had a dream the night before last, (after I had had a couple of drinks), that a close friend of mine was dying, and my sin prevented me from praying for her. She died in the dream, and I was devastated, and felt I was to blame. I awoke from the dream, shaken.
Thank you for confirming my friend’s words about the nature of God. I am made worthy because he loves me. Instead of hiding, I just need to call out to Him, and ask me to lift me out of the muddy pit that I have fallen into. If my child had fallen, and was muddy and bruised, I wouldn’t turn away and say that he/she was shameful, unloveable. I would pick him or her up and help wash off the mud. I would hold that child in my arms…Just like Jesus wants to hold me in His arms.
Please pray for me, that I will stand strong, or at least ask Jesus to hold me up.
Thank you.
R.J.
Oh, R.J.! How beautifully you painted the picture in your post. Indeed, if one of my girls fell and was muddy and bruised, I would not turn them away. I would not shame them. And the Lord does not turn you or me away either. He does scoop us up, wash us off, dry our tears, hold us close. Even when the mess is of our own making.
I am praying for you. Praying He will break the shame off of you. Praying He will help you stand strong. Praying He will help you call out to HIM and turn to HIM when your heart is weary, when you are stressed, when you are overwhelmed.
I LOVE His love…a love that we cannot earn. A love that we cannot lose. A love that is big enough for our biggest messes. He adores you, R.J. And I know He is more than willing to scoop you up in His arms. THANK YOU for sharing your heart.
Much love,
K
Rj thank yoo so much for sharing your heart and your struggle…And thank you Kim for your sweet spirit…I have read through many days on the blogs and have not yet seen any woman share of their trouble with substance abuse. I shared mine but there was no response and that’s Ok…At least I know now I have at least one other woman who knows my struggle…I have struggled with it all my life. I know that a few drinks seems like nothing, and I know that it also feels huge…I will struggle with it addiction all my life but in Christ I am not condemned…Do i struggle with condemnation??/You bet…and I spend much to much time doing so. If you are young and just feeling the feelings you are, as it seems you are, with young children, having a convicting spirit now and being able to share it is huge. I was younger raising my 3 sons and hid behind the 4 walls of our home, and nobody knew…i would cry and feel horrible and cry out to God in my condemnation but turn around and do it again the next day. I finally stopped and had a good ten years of raising my children and getting to know Jesus. It was good and looking back they were the best years for me. I am 55 now and my boys are married, 2 with children and doing so well. I am so proud of them. I give God all the glory for how well they have turned out. But no, I have to take some credit for it Yes? I have a had a hard time with that…My greatest advice for young moms and women is to find something beyond being somebody’s mom, somebody’s wife for those young years because when they are grown and gone, they have their own lives and mine don’t need me anymore…They love me, but they dont need me, their wives have moved into that role, as it should be….Being 18 when I had my first son, and then full into raising 3 sons, I have never known what i want, still don’t. I pray you search your heart for the reason you want to relax and drink, because to me there is something behind that sweet RJ…I only say this from experience because here I am feeling so alone and without purpose. I love the Lord with all my heart, soul and mind but my heart aches…<3
I love that you shared your heart and I so admire women like you, Kimberly ,who see it at a younger age…I know it is never to late but this older women has a harder time recognizing that I am human and that God could still possibley see a purpose in me…Through all the many beautiful studies, including this one, I see it and know it in my head but still struggle with so many things…I thank God every day that I am alive and have so much to be grateful for…But addiction is the enemy's biggest weapon as far as I am concerned…You said it earlier…that he turns around and uses it against you…as he does me. I wrote something and quoted from Renee's book in my last post on the last blog about it. on page 123…"Setting traps is exactly what satan does. He lures us into wanting something, and then he turns it around and accuses us of the very thing he enticed us with." Such truth…I love your heart RJ and your honesty…I pray for women who struggle with addiction, it is a very lonely place. thank you for sharing your heart….Love your sister in Christ, Peggy
Peggy, a beautiful grama, inside and out. God does use us gramas in a very special way….with our grandchildren who are His beautiful treasures to us. Loving them, hugging them, reading to them, rocking them, singing to them little Christian songs, spending a fun day with them, the myriad of ways to show Jesus’ love to them. Children and grandchildren are our heritage from the Lord and those grandchildren need us gramas. I love being a grama!
Just like Kimberly did – I struggle to see how God could/would possibly use me due to all of my sins…Thank you ladies for sharing…I feel blessed, inspired, hopeful and open to His lead.
Thank for this precious reminder that ALL of our sins, even our “big” ones are washed away and that God uses us despite our failings. Beautiful!
<3 Heather
Thank you Kim, I am encouraged by the way that truth changed how you felt about your life and then how you lived. Insecurity is one of my daily battles, one that is being renewed in the image of the creator. Thank you for the example of hope realized!
OUR IMPOSSIBILITIES ARE SIMPLY GOD’S OPPORTUNITIES.
A while back we started a new church and at the time church was new to our family. After a little while going there we seen our pastor out running errands and my husband told him that if he ever needed anything to let us know to which the pastor says well actually…..said he would like us to sit in on a couple of youth group classes, me with kindergarten class and my husband with preteens. Of course we did it. I thought we were just observing….I was wrong. That night a business meeting was held and before I could bat an eyelash we were voted in as teachers. My heart beating wildly..a sick feeling came over me and my blood pressure went through the roof…I could feel it. I was like wait….but I couldnt form the words to come out. Now here I was stuck with these kids and I had no idea how to teach them. My knowledge was limited. I was like, how do I teach them when I don’t know it the way I should? I was a little angry and scared to death. I felt like I wasnt good enough. Our pastors well actually….changed my life. I was quiet, backwards. I didn’t feel good enough…all I wanted to do was blend into the background. Well, that obviously was not what God wanted. I said to myself that I would give it a year. Tough it out. It was hard. I wanted to quit after every class but I didn’t I kept going and a long the way was learning. I was also forming a bond with the children. Some more than others. A new little girl came to my class this year….due to a speech problem I had a hard time with her she was in her own little world and just wanted to play and not sit and listen. She bagan not wanting to come to church at all and she would just cry when she seen church. But on Wednesday nights she would come…no problem. She only wanted to stay if I was there. To see her smile at me when she walked through that door melted my heart. This week, she said my name for the first time….I thought I was going to cry.
It came time to decide whether or not I would teach again this year. I put much thought into it and my decision was to walk away. As i was ready to say the words “I quit” I felt that God said “no my child, im not done with you yet” , and my answer changed. One more year….. I said. The pastors “well actually” turned in to 5 going on 6 years. Im learning as they go, learning to let go of my fears, and feel proud of myself for doing it. I’m still not comfortable with it but I can’t quit. Right now I am exactly where God wants me to be.
Thank you so much for sharing this, TC. God put you somewhere you did not feel qualified for, and you could have run…but you didn’t! You stayed and let Him stretch you and use you! How awesome. I am sure you have impacted those children’s lives more than you know! And what a blessing it had to be for you when that little girl said your name!
Thank you, again, for sharing!
Thank you TC for reminding me of the good I have done that I oh so conveniently forget. It is much easier for me to remember all that bad that I have been through and done. I taught CCD for the Catholic church with my son’s class for 4 years…When I bacame a Christian 24 years ago…I canged out of the Catholic church to teaching the little ones at my new church. I think all of it was so good, but I do remember being in CCD class teaching where my son and his classmates were in the 3rd gradw. One of his little friends said , “You are the one who taught me about God’…hat little boy is 28 now and I see in him so much potential for good, and will always remember his words to me. It is so rewarding, also rocking those many little babies during church over the years so their moms and dads could go to church…Love these good memories!
Thank you TC for reminding me and know that you will have the same one day. I only wish I had those ggood feelings about me now, but i don’t…I keep pressing on, but I don’t…I won’t say cant I just press on.
Man, I am so glad I tuned in this morning. I read Renee’s new blog and her suggesting that I watch this video echoed God’s love and HIS truth. All week long, I have been struggling with this same perplexed lie of not being good enough. Of not being accepted. I love how Kimberly used a picture of a condemned building to really make this real. This is exactly how I have felt this week. CONDEMNED; unusable, not good enough. But then…she speaks God’s truth that I am complete in Him, created to do good works, that I am a new creation in Him, that I have been given the fullness in Christ. Thank you JESUS.
I as well have struggled with all of the above, I feel I have been under attack even more since beginning this study….but am determined to stay the course because I believe that God is working in me through this study and all of you. I will keep my hope in God.
I absolutely think the enemy turns up the heat when we start taking steps in the right direction! Praying for you (and all of the precious ladies doing this study) that we will press on and cling to the Lord and His precious promises. Our God is greater than the enemy!
Blessings to you!!!
This week has been such an eye opener for me. Yes, I’ve failed, yes, I’ve made mistakes and YES, I’ve beaten myself up over them for YEARS! Letting go is one of the hardest things for me to do, and it seems that I just cannot do that. In the readings and discussions this week, I realize, God has let go…it’s me holding onto all of this and making things miserable. Not venturing into a new experience because of the fear of the past that I am holding onto. The great thing is, I see what I need to do, and am taking steps toward letting it all go. I need to forgive myself!
God has a special purpose for each one of us but like Kimberly said about our mind thinking we don’t trust ourselves or feel worthy to be used by God. We forget how God finds us and then takes us and puts us on the potters wheel to mold and shape us so we are usable. In our sight we’re unusable but in God’s sight we don’t look nothing like that.
Thank you Sharon for that great reminder of whose we are and who we are in HIM. You are right, the word says that we have been crucified in Christ and are now BRAND NEW creatures created to do good works. Then it goes on to say, old things are passed away and behold, GOD makes all things new. We are new being…and made in HIS image. Thank again for sharing.
OUR IMPOSSIBILITIES ARE SIMPLY GOD’S OPPORTUNITIES. I found this from my former pastor that posted it on Facebook and thought it fit so perfect.