My sweet friend Kimberly has kindly given me permission to share a powerful video her church created based on something God showed her. In openly shares her struggles with condemnation and how they were making her see herself so differently than God does. When I watching this months ago, I knew I wanted to make it part of week 7 as we read Chapter 7, When Doubt Whispers “You’re Such a Failure”! Whether you are in my online study or not, this is a message for each of us.
Once you watch the (less than 2 minute) video message, please read what Kim wrote below about the way God spoke to her heart about His thoughts towards us, our failures and flaws. I pray it blesses you as much as it blessed me! {If you are reading this via email, PLEASE double click on the title of this post “How Can God use Me? to go to my website to watch the video and connect in community.)
A few years ago, if you would have asked me if I believed that God loved me, I would have told you, “Yes.” Realizing His great love for me has been one of the sweetest truths I have ever come to know.
BUT, if you had asked me if I believed God could use me or would even WANT to use me… well, I would have hemmed and hawed and never really landed on an exact yes or no. Why? Because I felt unusable. My sins and mistakes disqualified me. I looked at myself and saw all of my flaws. I saw deep insecurities. I saw my too often short temper. I saw a lack of discipline, a lack of Biblical knowledge. I saw lack upon lack, failure upon failure.
“Jesus loves me? Yes. He died for me. But Jesus would like to use me. Ummmm…seriously? I think not.”
I love how He corrects our wrong thinking through His Word.
As I sat reading the Bible one day, heart heavy from discouragement, God led me to read John 3:17. It comes right after John 3:16, one of the earliest verses we ever learn about how God loved the world so much He sent His only Son Jesus to die for us so that, believing in Him, we could have eternal life. John 3:17 goes on to tell us more:
“For God did not send His Son Jesus into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”
I felt the Lord urging me to look up the definition the words “condemn.”
Condemn- 1. to pass an adverse judgement on; disapprove of strongly, censure; 2. a) to declare to be guilty of wrongdoing; convict b) to pass judicial sentence on; inflict a penalty upon c) to doom; 3. to declare (property) legally appropriated for public use; 4. to declare unfit for use or service. (Webster’s Dictionary)
That was exactly how I felt. Unsafe. Unlovely. Unusable.
Convinced that Jesus wanted to wrap caution tape around my life to keep people back. “Stay away from this one. I love her, but she’s still too messed up to be of any use to me. Better stand clear of her.”
The words of John 3:17 coupled with the last definition released a flood of truth and healing over my heart. The Father was whispering tenderly to me. He did not see me as I saw myself. He did not see a condemned building…someone dangerous. Someone unlovely. Someone unusable. He saw someone He loved so much that He would send His only Son to die a shameful and excruciating death for her. He sent His Son to save me. To forgive me. To heal me. To set me free, fill me up, and USE me.
The tears began to flow as He let me know that I am usable. And not only does He find me usable. He wants to use me. I am not the same woman I was 13 years ago.
- I have been forgiven of all of my sins. (1 John 1:9) (even the “big bad” ones)
- I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
- I am complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10)
- I have purpose in Him. (Ephesians 2:10)
Let these sweet truths wash over you today. Jesus did not come to label you unusable. He loves you and He has a purpose for your life that is of great use to His kingdom!
***
Thank you so much Kimberly for sharing your heart and being so honest with us today. I got so much encouragement from your video and writing. So many of us can relate to what you shared.
Let’s Connect: So friends…How about you? Do you believe God loves you, yet struggle to believe He could ever use you? Do you struggle to believe He would want to use you as you look at all of your sins, flaws and failures? . I’m so thankful Kimberly set the stage for some real life transparency today.
(And after you leave a little note here, would you take a minute to hop over to Kimberly‘s blog to read more of her thoughts from A Confident Heart. She’s posting something God shows her in each chapter on her blog each week.)
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WOW, thank you so much for sharing that. I struggle with seeing myself as the Lord sees me or even as others see me. I’ve often thought that the Lord couldn’t use a person like me. Little by little I am learning that God can use me as a testimony to others of His Grace and Mercy. I still struggle with my insecurties, but what I’m doing know is holding every negative thought captive and replacing it with the truth of Gods word.
Thank you for this post too. I struggle with being worthy to be used by God, when I fail so many times and know that I have in the past. I am trusting God to show me what He has for me through this study. I believe He wants me to know how much He loves me for just me. And that is ok. I am finding out that I am not alone and that is why I so appreciate this blog.
Blessings to you all!
As I just read what Kimberly wrote, the tears just started falling. I so have felt like that condemned building, someone God loves but can’t use. I know God is healing those places in my heart that are broken, slowly but surely. Today I am working on believing His word and His promises, and not the lies that tend to go round and round in my head..Thank you for posting this wonderful message of God’s acceptance and love!
Praise God,
Your words spoke volumes to me thank you for sharing your heart. I needed confirmation today of God’s love and how He can still use me. I have often thought that where I am in my life right now I can not be used by Him but I now know differently. THank you and God bless you Kimberly for sharing praise be to Him who loves us so much. Deanna
I see in my post that when I wrote Romans 1 and ), it turned into a smiley. 🙂 NO CONDEMNATION IN CHRIST JESUS 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing this, Kimberly. It’s like you have spoken my heart for me. So often I struggle with insecurities. This week the negative voices have been especially strong, and I have to purposefully tell them to be quiet and repeat “no condemnation in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8) God is teaching me more lately how much I self-condemn. Always beating myself up and second-guessing my every word and action. I am so hard on myself while Jesus has nothing but thoughts of peace for me. And like you, though I believe Jesus loves me, I can’t wrap my mind around it that God WANTS to use me. Again, thank you!
And thanks so much, Renee. God has used your book to bless me and send me on a serious journey of self-discovery and discovery of who I REALLY am in Christ Jesus. I took the Bible study already with Melissa, but I’m still gleaning so much from following this one also. God bless you for following your heart to write this book and to encourage women to be more confident in Christ Jesus!
all the material that Renee has given us to read and study has really started to make a change in how I see and think about myself as a child of God. I am so excited about what God is doing thru this bible study for me and other women in this study. It is a blessing! I have already read Chapter 8 and find it very enlightening. Praise God for all He is doing thru Renee and the women in this study…
I also struggle with feelings of self condemnation. It can come over me and consume me. I think it is a daily battle, which I must fight. I ask God to do a new thing in me, to revive me, to reawaken me, to change me in a new way, because God is all about change and renewal. Today, I am pretty sure that I will struggle with self condemnation at least once. I can accept that. But I will also try to clamour towards the Lord for His help 2 Cor 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God.” Dear Lord, as I continue to perhaps struggle with self condemnation today, I ask that you will continue to take away my old self, ( one nail at a time ) and give my your new self, a renovated self, a person whom I will realize that You love dearly. This prayer and message is also meant for all of you as well. Have a great day in His Love.
Perfect timing for me! I pray I go forth into this world and feed those around me this message….Always remembering His grace and love for us all and what He has ransomed me from – freely. Have a safe trip. Praying for traveling mercies to and from the conference and that His comfort and healing touch be with you and Aster – for a pain free weekend!
Sweet Ladies,
As much as I HATE for anyone else to struggle with insecurity as much as I have (and honestly still do so many days), it is still so good to see that we are NOT alone in this struggle! The enemy wants us to think we are the only ones, that we are terrible Christians. He. Is. Such. A. Liar.
How precious to be able to encourage one another with the TRUTH of His love for us! I have to step away from the computer for a while (sadly). I could chat with you all day!!! But know that I am praying for each of you! I wish I had time to comment to each of you right now! But even if I don’t, know that I will be writing your names down, tucking them in my Bible and lifting you each up in prayer!
I will be back later!
MUCH LOVE,
K
Thank you Renee and Kimberly. God’s timing is always perfect:)! This is so meaningful to me at this critical time in my life. I too have been haunted by painful traumas and memories and just when you think you are recovering something else will surface and bring those painful memories back and start the cycle over again. Satan is very crafty at using our minds to deceive us out of believing God’s truth of who we are in Christ. I thank you from the bottom of my heart as I am renewed in Christ again. As I read each chapter God is revealing to me actually for the first time (I gave my life to Christ 30 years ago) who I am as h is daughter and of his everlasting love for me. I am facing very serious legal consequences as a result of wrong actions. It has been amazing to really experience for the first time the peace and freedom that the Father so willingly gives to each of us. I know and believe that this trial I am experiencing will ultimately bring Glory to God. God is truly creating a new creature!
God Bless You All!
Thank you so much for this post today! I have felt unusable for quite a long time. Fear grips me whenever I even think of following through on anything that I know for sure that God wants me to do. There have been times (yesterday being the most recent) that I felt God speaking directly to me through another Christian friend or His word & confirming what I already feel He wants me to do. I know He wants me to take a step of faith, but that first step seems to be a “doozy” in light of my fears. I appreciate your openess and honesty in your post. I pray I can soon feel the confidence & freedom to just say “yes, Lord”.
Kimberly, thank you so much for sharing your video with us. Like all the others who have responded I have been struggling all my life to feel worthy, to deal with guilt and shame over any number of past sins, great or small, real or imagined. Even at my age, 57, I’m still struggling to figure out what God might want to do with my life. I feel him pulling at me in some new ways and I am trying to deal with how to follow. Thanks for sharing and reminding us that we are usable and have value. Have a blessed day!
Praying for you, Celia, as you TRUST His love for you and that His plans for you are for your good!
Wow, I know how she feels because I feel the same way. I know God loves me but I dont see why he wants to use me. I dont really know what he wants to use me for because of all the sins I have done. I feel he is telling me something but I dont know what he telling me and what he wants to use me for.
I am so glad I am doing the study and how it has helped me see the love God has for me.
How do I know he is talking to me? And How do I know what he wants me to do? I am having trouble hearing him..
Jaime, I could have written your last 3 sentences myself! I so struggle with these.
Hi, sweet Jaime and Ginna!
I hope you get to come back by and that you read Renee’s comment…where she talks about how God wants to use each of us. She said, “I just want you to know that He wants you to persevere in believing Him. HE’s crazy in love with you and He wants to use you to love on, encourage, pray for, minister to others- THAT is how He can and wants to use you– today. It does’t have or need to be big and measurable by others. HE simply wants us to be faithful with whatever HE puts right in front of us. Just offer Him what you have and invite Him to use it. ALL in His name and for the purpose of letting HIM use you to reveal His love and His ways to those around you.”
What encouraging truth!
And for hearing Him, my encouragement to you is simply spending time with Him…reading His Word, praying, worshiping Him, and just asking Him to help you hear Him. He WANTS you to hear His voice. So keep seeking Him. Keep pressing in. If you missed Renee’s post called Becoming a Woman Who Listens to God, it is worth going back to read. Some great encouragement on recognizing God’s voice. Here is the link: http://reneeswope.com/2012/01/becoming-a-woman-who-listens-to-god/
Blessings to you both!!!!
K
I am fighting back tears as I watch this. You see I have struggled with insecurity all my life. My husband is a youth pastor and I have lately felt like maybe I am not cut out for the ministry. I feel so threatened if he talks to a pretty young girl – it isn’t even inappropriate – just if he is making small talk and she laughs hysterically or something. I am almost ashamed to type that. I stand in front of teenage girls ever so often and give my testimony and urge them to be strong and have self worth. Then behind closed doors I feel like such a hypocrite. How can I lead them if I haven’t mastered it myself. We have been trying to adopt for two years and the waiting makes me wonder if I am just not good enough to be a mother.
I am thankful for this study and the painful layers God pulls back as I go through it. I know He is stretching and growing me. Thank you for reminding me that God did not come to declare us useless. I needed to hear that!
I think we sometimes forget how difficult it is being the wife of a minister! They have so many people wanting their attention and needing ministering to that it can be hard on their spouses. I pray God gives you encouragement and peace in the role He wants you to play in His work. God bless you!
I am so glad you left a comment, Amanda. I am sure, sure, sure you are NOT the only pastor’s wife who struggles with insecurity. And because you are a woman of influence, because you are giving of your life to sow love and truth and hope into the lives of young people, I am not surprised the enemy would whisper lies about you not being good enough.
Praying that the Lord leads you to a place of freedom from the LIE that you must have it all together before you can minister to others. And trust me…I get the struggle with that lie. I could give you a laundry list of reasons I should not be on Renee’s blog today. 😉 But what we have to offer others is NOT our perfection…it is His. (I am reminding myself as I type this.)
And I am praying He ministers to you so tenderly during the wait to adopt. My heart broke as I read your words…that maybe you are not good enough to be a mother. I pray you will not give ear to that whisper, to that lie. Praying He will encourage your heart with HIS truth. That He will strengthen your heart as you wait upon Him.
Love and prayers,
K
I don’t know if you have ever felt paralyzed from
your past, but even when you think that you have conquered the past it sometimes comes back to haunt you again. I remember reading “Winter Garden” by Karen Kristen, the mother had two daughters, and they were determined to find out their mother’s past. They wanted to know why she always went out in the winter to sit in the cold where the garden was. Soon they discover what was a very painful past that their mother had keep secret all those years. As their mother tells her story, they soon discover how much they really cared and loved each other even more. ( I will let you read the book for the rest of the story.)
Sometimes, when we run from our past experiences, we run right into them. I thought I had conquered some of my past fears, insecurities, my feelings of not being worthy or good enough. I thought, I had the confidence I needed in God.
Instead, I ran right into my past again and I have been fighting a battle once again.
For some odd reason, someone at my workplace got mad at me and it just paralyzed me. I couldn’t say anything and left work early to go to a funeral.
I haven’t been the same since. I worked part-time and I haven’t been called back in either. So, I did not know where this was leading me.
I just know a few rejections here and there, then this happen. This just left me paralyzed as what to do next.
I thought about David. David kept hiding from Saul; he kept fighting battles, he kept praying and looking to God for answers. There were things in his past he would rather keep secret, but it came out anyway. It effected his children and the next generation.
My mother kept a secret and it effected who I was, but I choose not to let it effect my life or my children, at least I hoped it wouldn’t. Although my mother has passed away, I did love her very much.
Like the cold, winter garden nothing seems to make sense sometimes. I just know in the garden we can talk to God and pray. We can read His Word and find hope. We can come back to God and plan for the flowers to bloom again. We can trust God to let the sun shine through once more. Sometimes, I have to spend time in the garden and let God revive me. I have to spend time in His Word and in prayer for encouragement. He is my Hope.
Yes! I have for SURE felt paralyzed by my past. I think we all have. Praying that we will each one continue to look to the Lord for wisdom, for healing, and for the courage to move forward with HIM. I just recently went through writing out my timeline of past hurts like Renee suggested in her book. It was SO hard to make myself do that. I was afraid to see my past face to face! But the Lord was so tender. I just felt Him right there with me. And He showed me, like you are saying here, places I was letting labels from my past paralyze me. Praying for you as you continue to press into His Word and into Him in prayer! He WILL fill us with the confidence we need to live for Him! Trusting in Him with you!
Thank you for sharing… I too feel this way…. yes we don’t doubt that GOD loves us but our insecurities and past failures can seem so big and weigh heavily in our hearts…. Great truths today…. thanks as always for the post….
Indeed…our pasts can weigh so very heavy! May we lay them at His feet, trust in His complete forgiveness, ask for His tender healing touch, and present ourselves as willing vessels for Him to pour out of mightily! Blessings, Jules!
What an encouragement! Thank you so much for sharing…….I tend to look at myself with flaws first, as well……..God sees all the good he can use! I would like to change my perception of myself and see myself the way HE does!!!
So glad you came by and that you were encouraged, Christine! Praying we will all see ourselves through His eyes of love and mercy and grace! Blessings to you today!
I’m so glad God revealed His truth to you, Kimberly and has made you a blessing to other women. Thank you for putting this together and sharing your heart. May He be glorified in what he does in you and through you, His precious daughter.
Thank you, sweet friend. I am so thankful for the ways He has healed and still is healing my heart. He is so good, and I am so thankful to get to share about what He has done in my life here! Love you!
Thank you Kimbely and Renee, and thank you Lord Jesus for setting us captives free. You want to do immeasureably more in us than we can ever hope or imagine. Thank you Heavenly Father for these words of encouragement. May they continue to go forth and bless and encourage all who read them. There is no one like you, God…. you are the lover of our souls! We bring you all our praise, and we honor and glorify your name!
You are SO right! There is no one like Him! May we find our worth in Him and Him alone! Thanks so much for commenting today! 🙂
Sweet friend, I cannot thank you enough for allowing me space here to share my heart. How blessed I feel that God would allow me to be usable HERE, on your blog. I have battled all of my life with insecurity, with the crippling weight of perfectionism. I am so thankful for God’s tender truths tucked into your amazing book. I am so thankful for how He is teaching me to daily, hourly, minute by minute process my doubts and fears through the truth of His Word!
I am praying for every woman who comes by here. Not just for this post, but for this entire series on your book. Praying they will indeed know how LOVED they are by the Lord. Praying they will know He really and truly does WANT to use them. 🙂
Hugs to you, sweet Renee.
K
Hey Kimberly and Renee,
Hello to all the ladies in our study group!! I must say that this week I have been fed some good stuff!
Some information that has really been speaking to the struggles I’m facing right now. I thank you for sharing your heart. It really helps to have a resource to go to where women can come together and share and encourage one another.
Blessings,
~Liz~
Wow, I so needed this today, right now. So many times I have felt God prompting me to do or say something. Insecurities and the belief that I was unusable, too much baggage , and recently,” you’re TOO much,” have halted me , freezing me in my tracks, I step back praying God would send another
This post today has ministered to my spirit; tears are flowing down my face. Thank you Holly and Kimberly for this timely post,
Betty
Thank you so much! God led me to this blog today. I struggle with insecurities daily. Until reading this blog, I felt so alone! It helps to know that others struggle with the same issues. When God presents me with opportunities like furthering my education, a job opportunity, etc, my insecurities take over and I am filled with self doubt. As a result, I shy away from what could be God’s plan for my life. I know that God has forgiven me for this doubt and I pray that he will continue to send opportunities and fill me with courage to fullfill His will for my life. I need to stop believing that I need to do this alone. He has a plan for my life…. not to harm me, but to give me hope and a future!! He will always be by my side leading the way… I just need to ALLOW him to be in the driver’s seat!
May God bless you and keep you!
Elizabeth
Wow, elizabeth thank you for sharing your comments, besides reading this wonderful blog, you have pintpoint exactly what I’m going through, Insecurity inregards of my future, at times it seems like God opens doors with oppurtunity for me to posses the Land but my fear, doubts and insecurity of victory paralyze me from moving foward and taking hold of the promise land the Lord has been speaking to meabout!! Then I’m left feeling condemned for not having enough faith and courage to take hold of the promise land like joshua and caleb Deuteronomy 31 as if was all left up to me to accomplish it alone!! Yet. The Lord keep. Reminding me about that verse that says for I know the plans I have for you to give you hope and a future not for calamity!! I break that the Lord will break the yolk of fear and orphanage spirit I deal with so much…
thank you so much for sharing as I sat here reading realizing that, is my story as well God is working to show me that Iam good enough that he is all I need.
Thank you Renee and Kimberly,
I so needed this message today! I have battled insecurity my whole life, living with approval addiction. I have to keep reminding myself that God loves me more than anyone else and He loves me as I am and can use me as I am.
Thank you again!
Carole
God Bless you My Sister Kimberly and Sister Renee for sharing this message with all of us on this online study.What a Blessing to know that I was not the only one that saw themselves as a failure. Satan wants us to believe that we will never be all God calls us to be.And if we don’t put our Complete Armor on daily then he knows were not protected from the fiery darts he throws at us.he can only attack our minds if we let him..iIf we are girted up he has no power the Power was given to us to defeat satan We have Power through the Holy Spirit which was left for all of us as a Comforter in times of raging storms we face.We have to see ourselves through God’s on eyes He sees us as Precious Jewels.We as Woman of Confidence need to Trust in His Timing,Rely on His Promises.Wait for His Answers.Believe in His Miracles.Rejoice in His Goodness.Relax in His Presence.We are not Failures Ladies we just get so got up in Trying to Perfect in all we do we have to Remember were not Perfect and we will never be Perfect But we are Forgiven and we are Precious to God and He calls us His Children and He will Lead and Guide us and make us into Who He called us to be.I Pray that all you Precious Woman of God know that God knows you He knows every hair on your head.Every thought he knows your Hearts.Every hurt stored up every hope every dread your past and your future all that you are and all that you could be.I am Praying for each and Everyone of you.I Thank God for you.Your Friend and Sister in Christ Betty.
Thank you for that wonderful comment Betty! We do have to believe the truth of God’s words about us and not the lies that Satan, others or even ourselves has told us. God is our Protector and Provider, Comforter, Healer, Rescuer, Deliverer, Rock and Refuge. This book study is teaching that we are chosen by God. And I heard through the Holy Sprit that who God has selected , He has protected.
Thank you so much for your message Kim. I am consistently reminding myself that God does not make junk and He made you and I. It seems I must be planting more seeds than seeing results but I can learn to be humble instead of condemned. Thanks again.
What powerful words! Thank you so much for sharing with us and encouraging us. What a great God we have who wants to make sure we know how loved and cherished we are. Why is it easier to believe the lies that Satan fills us with than to believe the truth of God? Lord, please keep sending women like these to continue to speak truth into my heart!