There is a longing in the heart of every girl.
A longing to be wanted and pursued.
Each night when I pray for my beautiful girl, I want her to hear me thanking God for who she is and for the gift of being her mom! I want her to know she is wanted and valued. That I miss her when we’re not together. I want her to know she’s not a side-item on my very full plate, but she is my heart’s delight and dessert! And you know what? She’s thinks I’m pretty amazing too?
Well… at least for now.
But I’ve been a mommy before. And I know a day is coming when there will be competition for my girl’s attention.
More than me. More than her daddy. More than her big brothers. One day Aster is going to want a guy to want her, to pursue her, to choose her.
And when it happens, I don’t want to panic and wish I could do something to get her to stop chasing after some guy, hoping he’ll notice her. I want her to know…
She’s already been noticed.
She’s already captured Someone’s heart.
She’s already being pursued.
And even though Aster is only five and a half years old, I’m realizing that now is the time for me to start planting these truths in her heart. But it wasn’t until I read my friend Lynn Cowell’s new book “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants,“ that I realized I needed help to get started.
Lynn’s new book is for girls (and their moms) to walk alongside and help them discover how to become the best version of the beautiful girl God created her to be. There is so much I love about this message. And that is why I wanted to share with you an excerpt from Chapter One today {and I’ve got 3 copies to give away too!}:
“Why doesn’t he like me? I just couldn’t figure it out.
What is it about me that isn’t as attractive as her? Am I not as pretty? Am I too loud? Are my friends not cool enough? The questions gnawed at me, eating away at my confidence. He had liked me once,; surely I could get him to like me again. There had to be a way.
I was determined to find out what was wrong with me.
Back in my own “wish I were dating” days, my highs and lows depended on whether or not I saw him in the hall; my happiness was determined by whether or not he noticed me. The crush I had was crushing me.
I wish there had been someone who could have helped me…someone who could have helped me understand that the longing in my heart pointed not to my need for a guy, but to my deeper need for something, Someone, even greater.
How I wish I had known sooner that I was created to be loved perfectly and unconditionally, made to have my heart filled each and every day with love from the perfect Man – Jesus.
Then I could have spent my time, energy, and emotions, not on a guy I didn’t have, but on the One I did. I could have moved from obsessing over why I wasn’t wanted to becoming the type of girl a godly guy would want. Not just someone to date but someone he’d want to spend the rest of his life with.
I remember making the list, a gargantuan description of everything I was looking for in the guy I would marry one day. The more powerful list would have described the woman I wanted to become, the woman he couldn’t resist!
What would happen if you made the switch now? Shifted your focus off a guy and onto the Guy?
What if, together, we discovered an irresistible beauty deeper than designer clothes, jean sizes, and flaw-free skin? A confidence so attractive, nothing could cause us to lose it? A glamour simply magnetic?
In my quest to discover true beauty, I began to see gorgeous as much more than the face in my mirror. Gorgeous is not skin-deep but heart-deep, a beauty that develops as my heart discovers and returns True Love.
This beauty, this attractiveness, is found in the girl who has what I call “captivating characteristics”—what the Bible calls “the fruit of the Spirit.” These heart traits are described in Galatians 5:22–23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
These magnetic traits are the result, or fruit, of the girl who has given her entire life to Jesus. The girl who spends her emotional energy allowing Him to live His life through her.
But, you don’t have to burn yourself out trying to become perfect. These gorgeous qualities will show up as you spend time with God and He pours His perspective into you!
When you’re “planted” in God, He provides all you need to reach your full potential—to be the best you you can be!
And, instead of chasing after the guy running from you, you’re pursuing the One coming after you. In the process of seeking His heart, you’ll become the amazing individual He designed you to be, a girl who is irresistibly magnetic, beautiful inside and out!
ENTER TO WIN:
Packed with honesty, encouragement and perspective-changing Magnetic, truth by Lynn Cowell,(available at Amazon, B&N, CBD, everywhere books are sold), will empower girls and young woman to reach their fullest potential by focusing on becoming who God made them to be! A girl who reflects God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A girl who will attract the right type of guy one day: one who loves God with all his heart and who will cherish her!
CLICK “Share Your Thoughts” under this post and ENTER to WIN!
Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 speaker and the author of several books including “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants”. Her passion is to empower wise women to raise wiser daughters. Her husband and their three children live in North Carolina where they love to hike, raft and enjoy anything that includes chocolate and peanut butter!
Discover more from Renee Swope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
As a single mom to an 11year old girl as well as 7, 9, and 13 year old boys, I want all my children to fall in love with Jesus, before they fall in love with anyone else. I need to fall in love with Jesus every day so I can be their example.
I have 2 girls, ages 12 and 5. I was given advice not to date any young man that you would not want to spend the rest of your life with. I want my girls to seek God first, that by being in love with Him, they will know when the right man comes along.
I am a single 23 year old who has always come short of “perfect” every guy that has come along, I’ve always wanted to make him happy, and I would try to bend over backwards to do so, I never compromised my standards but if he thought something was wrong with me I would fix it…At one time I was confident in who I was in The Lord and knew He had a perfect plan for me, however, One double-minded man totally destroyed all of it, and degraded me physically and emotionally. When we first met everything about me was perfect and gorgeous, and he had made promises to marry me. However, the longer we were together the more he wanted to perfect me. I wasn’t gorgeous anymore “but you could be if you__________” I was devastated at this and worked rigorously to please him. However, it was all in vain for when he learned of other failures I had made he couldn’t handle it, and I was left with my face to the ground and no hope. I was only left with his harsh words and unrealistic expectations that screamed “what were you thinking? you will never be good enough” It is a year later and I am just now beginning to trust again, hope again and believe the truth of God’s Word that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I think this book would be extremely beneficial in my growth. I would like to be able to share it with my little sisters as well.
God is working in me to realize that He is the one that comes first, not my husband, my kids, life. I’ve chased the elusive need to be liked and loved for so long. I’m now realizing that love is always available and I’ve been looking to others instead of The One who already loves me. I want to teach my daughters and me this each and every day!
I was lucky to grow up in a very loving, Christian home where I was reminded often that I was loved by my parents and the King! When I left for college and learned to live “independently” I struggled with feelings of inferiority…..and sometimes still do. As I raise my two daughters, who are 15 and 18, I want them to know that their worth and value is found in the love Jesus has for them. I pray this over them as I watch them struggle with societal expectations of girls, the media’s portrayal of “beauty” and messages that measure them based on their looks. They love The Lord and I keep praying His grace over their lives.
I wish i knew to turn to God when i was younger. I can remember sitting in my room almost daily feeling so alone, my mom would come and check on me and i would tell her to ‘leave me alone,’ and she did. Looking back, i was so lonely and depressed. I didn’t have any real friends. And i didn’t know how to ask for help. I want my girls to have the confidence to ask for help when they need it.
Love Gods timing , I have been looking for a book for my daughter. She just started high school . It’s a new stage and this book would be wonderful for her to read each night. At this age they are trying to figure out so many areas of who they want to be .
Thank you for writing this book.
Her identity is found thought Christ alone, no one else!! Single mom of a beautiful 8 yr old and it has taken me my whole life to learn this…doing my very best to instill in her now!! 🙂
I wished I had not worried so much about what other people thought of me, in all aspects of life. I wish I had “put myself out there” more. I was too timid and worried all the time (kinda like how I still am, lol)
I wish I had had the relationship with Christ that is developing in me now; it would have been a more intentional teen time. I have a 23 year old who is still trying to find that value that only Jesus can give.
I wish I had been able to have a mom who treated me as you are treating your daughter. I thought I was a Christian when I was raised, but have learned as life would have it for me that I was not. I was raised in a home where religion was most important, discipline more than a command and dysfunction the name of the game. What a “wonderful mess we all were !” We all knew our parts and played them well. Thus, my childhood was interesting….
When I was forty years old during the year following my “unfortunate divorce” from a dysfunctional marriage, what else would you expect !\? I began my search for God, the real God, the Lord and Savior of my life now ! He told me He loved me, created me Himself with tender love and care and that there was not another person created exactly as I was. He “Created me in His image and likeness, and had a special plan just for me.” He loves me so much that He even gave His life for my sins, something that I knew I did not deserve but have willingly accepted. His grace, love, mercy and forgiveness along with the “promise of Eternal life in Heaven with Him are the best gifts anyone has ever given me.
That is when I knew what being a “Christian” really was and have been so blessed as one that I share Him with others and tell them that they also can be one all they have to do is repent, and ask Him into their heart forever. Reading the Bible, praying and fellowshipping with other Christians is one of the best things that I have ever known. Each time I meet and am able to tell someone about the “True love of my life, Jesus”. It makes me smile and I rejoice when they also want to share in this joy.
I have been a Christian now for at least twenty or more years now and even during the suffering and testing times I have Jesus right beside me leading, guiding and protecting me all day long. Thank You Jesus for loving me so much. If you don’t know Him I hope this challenges you and that you also might want to be one of His Children. To be a Child of the King is more than I had ever dreamed or hoped for. I pray that this book and something I have shared might help someone to want to join this wonderful family of God.
God Bless you all, Mary Kaiser
I would Love to have this to share with my 11 year old daughter & also my 9 year old niece.
I write middle grade and young adult fiction for girls dealing with self-esteem and self-worth issues. This is the kind of book I love hearing about to help share messages with young people.
Wow, does reading this excerpt hit home. I have a beautiful 14 year old daughter who is a Freshman in high school. Would love to reiterate these truths to her in a meaningful , God centered way. Some times I feel like she wont listen to what I say just because its her “mom” talking. This would be a blessing!
For my daughter: God loves you so very much. He will never leave you!
Her earthly dad did leave us. I pray that she doesn’t seek comfort from boys and men as I did growing up without my earthly father.
Oh I wish I had known this before then the things that I did and pursued I would not have done. I did things all for the sake of love from guys I was interested in. Not knowing that only God could and would love me perfectly and unconditionally. Thank you Abba Father for loving me flaws and all.
I wish I had known that. I was raised very legalistically. I believed God was always angry with me. Jesus didn’t equate with love…..just condemnation. Very glad to be able to give the correct perspective to my daughter and granddaughters!
My daughter is beautiful, smart & needs more confidence. Her dad has not been nice to her, hurt her self-confidence and she needs to know what an amazing woman she is becoming. I need to realize that sometimes too, because being a single mom has been hard. It doesn’t do much for my sense of self-worth at times, either.
I’m trying to use the “it takes a village to raise a child” philosophy. Trying to reach out & get the help she & I both need. Trying to always trust in Him to guild me.
What a blessing it would have been to have a book like this when I was raising our 3 daughters, I can not even amply describe how this passage speaks to the depths of my soul. I have been blessed with the opportunity to raise my 5 year old granddaughter and I would live to win this book so that she would really know how valuable she is and how loved she is by our Father. She has experienced the loss of her mother, Erika, my middle daughter, who was 27 years old and hit and killed by a car on September 26, 2012 and now she has lost her grandfather( my beloved husband Carlos on August 10, 2014) who is the only father figure she has ever known and whom she referred to as “Daddy.” I would love to be the winner of one of these books becasue I think it would be a wonderful guide along with the wisdom of the Holy Spirit in teaching her who she is in Him and how he pursues her continually . I believe that being able to read this post today was not an accident because it is truly th edesire of my heart for my precious and beautiful Aeriyana. Thank you for reading my submission.
Wow, there’s so much truth to this that I wish I had known and believed as a young girl and I pray I can depart to my girls early on. Mostly, I wish I knew earlier that His love is enough, and doesn’t need to be supplemented by anyone or anything else. I’m in my 30’s and still have to remind myself of this some days.