There is a longing in the heart of every girl.
A longing to be wanted and pursued.
Each night when I pray for my beautiful girl, I want her to hear me thanking God for who she is and for the gift of being her mom! I want her to know she is wanted and valued. That I miss her when we’re not together. I want her to know she’s not a side-item on my very full plate, but she is my heart’s delight and dessert! And you know what? She’s thinks I’m pretty amazing too?
Well… at least for now.
But I’ve been a mommy before. And I know a day is coming when there will be competition for my girl’s attention.
More than me. More than her daddy. More than her big brothers. One day Aster is going to want a guy to want her, to pursue her, to choose her.
And when it happens, I don’t want to panic and wish I could do something to get her to stop chasing after some guy, hoping he’ll notice her. I want her to know…
She’s already been noticed.
She’s already captured Someone’s heart.
She’s already being pursued.
And even though Aster is only five and a half years old, I’m realizing that now is the time for me to start planting these truths in her heart. But it wasn’t until I read my friend Lynn Cowell’s new book “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants,“ that I realized I needed help to get started.
Lynn’s new book is for girls (and their moms) to walk alongside and help them discover how to become the best version of the beautiful girl God created her to be. There is so much I love about this message. And that is why I wanted to share with you an excerpt from Chapter One today {and I’ve got 3 copies to give away too!}:
“Why doesn’t he like me? I just couldn’t figure it out.
What is it about me that isn’t as attractive as her? Am I not as pretty? Am I too loud? Are my friends not cool enough? The questions gnawed at me, eating away at my confidence. He had liked me once,; surely I could get him to like me again. There had to be a way.
I was determined to find out what was wrong with me.
Back in my own “wish I were dating” days, my highs and lows depended on whether or not I saw him in the hall; my happiness was determined by whether or not he noticed me. The crush I had was crushing me.
I wish there had been someone who could have helped me…someone who could have helped me understand that the longing in my heart pointed not to my need for a guy, but to my deeper need for something, Someone, even greater.
How I wish I had known sooner that I was created to be loved perfectly and unconditionally, made to have my heart filled each and every day with love from the perfect Man – Jesus.
Then I could have spent my time, energy, and emotions, not on a guy I didn’t have, but on the One I did. I could have moved from obsessing over why I wasn’t wanted to becoming the type of girl a godly guy would want. Not just someone to date but someone he’d want to spend the rest of his life with.
I remember making the list, a gargantuan description of everything I was looking for in the guy I would marry one day. The more powerful list would have described the woman I wanted to become, the woman he couldn’t resist!
What would happen if you made the switch now? Shifted your focus off a guy and onto the Guy?
What if, together, we discovered an irresistible beauty deeper than designer clothes, jean sizes, and flaw-free skin? A confidence so attractive, nothing could cause us to lose it? A glamour simply magnetic?
In my quest to discover true beauty, I began to see gorgeous as much more than the face in my mirror. Gorgeous is not skin-deep but heart-deep, a beauty that develops as my heart discovers and returns True Love.
This beauty, this attractiveness, is found in the girl who has what I call “captivating characteristics”—what the Bible calls “the fruit of the Spirit.” These heart traits are described in Galatians 5:22–23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
These magnetic traits are the result, or fruit, of the girl who has given her entire life to Jesus. The girl who spends her emotional energy allowing Him to live His life through her.
But, you don’t have to burn yourself out trying to become perfect. These gorgeous qualities will show up as you spend time with God and He pours His perspective into you!
When you’re “planted” in God, He provides all you need to reach your full potential—to be the best you you can be!
And, instead of chasing after the guy running from you, you’re pursuing the One coming after you. In the process of seeking His heart, you’ll become the amazing individual He designed you to be, a girl who is irresistibly magnetic, beautiful inside and out!
ENTER TO WIN:
Packed with honesty, encouragement and perspective-changing Magnetic, truth by Lynn Cowell,(available at Amazon, B&N, CBD, everywhere books are sold), will empower girls and young woman to reach their fullest potential by focusing on becoming who God made them to be! A girl who reflects God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A girl who will attract the right type of guy one day: one who loves God with all his heart and who will cherish her!
CLICK “Share Your Thoughts” under this post and ENTER to WIN!
Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 speaker and the author of several books including “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants”. Her passion is to empower wise women to raise wiser daughters. Her husband and their three children live in North Carolina where they love to hike, raft and enjoy anything that includes chocolate and peanut butter!
What a perfect gift for my daughter and I to share!
I wish I would have had a mother or father that took an interest in the little girl that I once was. The lack of love and support tore away at my self esteem causing me to despise myself. I put on a protective armour to hide the pain and embarrassment I felt at being a child no one really cared about. I became a person I didn’t recognize or even like. It took until the age of 40 to shed the armour and to be comfortable in my skin. I’m not a tough person. I’m a sensitive person that can now allow feelings to show without having to be tough and hard to guard myself from the pain. I accept and release emotions freely.
I wish my mother would have had the direct talks with me that I now have with my daughter. I learned a lot of life lessons about valuing myself the hard way. It is so important to hear I love you, and have heart to hearts about what God says about you. This book would be an asset to the example I now try to set for my daughter and the young girls in our church. I see and hear my daughter talk about the things that her friends and it hurts my heart that they have no true direction. I would love to share this book with our youth leaders.
Don’t be in such a rush….wait. With two of my own girls now, I hope that they do not make the same mistakes that I did.
I see my girls struggle with this. I did too. This is a heart issue.
I would love this book. I see my girls struggle with this. This is a heart issue.
I’ve gotta girl! And I’m so grateful for biblical/Godly insight to share with her. After becoming a follower of Christ at 30 yrs old, I learned that I could have minimized heartache, bad decisions rooted in insecurity, flat out SIN, etc. My desire is to have CHRIST shape my daughter’s character and filter all decisions through the bible. Ultimately, this is the way to make her life FRUITFUL in Him! I can’t wait to get this book…. Thanks for blessing women to equip young girls/ladies with a legacy of strength in Christ to pursue and share.
I was a starving for love and affection from any boy that would give it. Even though I was a christian, my dad was sitting in prison for undetermined amt of years as a sex offender and my single mom didn’t have the tools to mother a growing daughter and how to guide me through my roughest part of my life. I felt like so unloved and wanted from my mom because she just wanted to do her thing.
So what I have done differently even though my daughter is 4 1/2 years old. Her daddy is a believer and we make sure she doesnt just hear how much we love her but show her. I take each day but so many days I fall and fail miserably as her mother but If I win this book that would be great because God knows I need this so I can be better mother to my growing daughter! Either way, it’s on my list to get!
Amazing excerpt and what a great topic! From this snippet, I know I need this book to add to my tool belt for raising a confident daughter. She is 8 and at a pivotal year. Can’t edit to read the whole thing!
As a shy awkward teenager a simple “I love you” or “You are special” was much needed, but not even a hug was forthcoming from my mum. I know now that she was and sadly, still is, broken because she will not let God heal her. I thank God for a wonderful Dad who loved me unconditionallly and encouraged and nurtured my talents, who would quietly tell me that the man who loved God first and foremost and who loved me unconditionally (in that order) was a man worthy of my attention. I have 2 precious jewels who are reminded daily that Mum and Dad love them and that they are special to us and to God. By the grace of God both my girls and my son will never feel as worthless as I did back then.
Oh how I wish I had had this. And oh how I wish my oldest had as well. Praying my youngest and my granddaughter will know and be blessed knowing this truth!
Don’t make any decisions out of guilt or fear. You don’t fix one bad decision with another bad decision. It’s never too late to start over. God loves you so much and His mercies are new every single day. Don’t settle. Pursue God and put your heart in His hands. When you do that, He will put your heart in the hands of a worthy person.
I wish someone would have told me friends, money all the youthful things we take advantage of when we’re young come & go just as fast but God is always there by your side. Beauty is fleeting but wisdom is eternal…..
I ‘m 20 and have a younger beautiful sister who I really love and trying my best to get close to and I came across this on Facebook! Full praising mode!! That sneak peek was just beautiful and very true. The need for young christian girls to base their value on their faith and on our Father and the truth of His Word. Growing up guys were around and yes, my value was based on what they said about me and if they liked me, I was proud of that and did not know I was already being pursued by the God of the universe! and that He already noticed me. It is quite a battle even for myself growing up and having such a busy mother. I would absolutely would love this book for my sister. Personally, my christian journey started last semester when a Cru staff shared the KGP booklet to a friend of mine and myself and we both prayed to receive Christ. Its been quite exciting and I’m loving very bit of my new relationship with God. I shared the same “Knowing God Personally Booklet” with my sister 2 months ago and she prayed to receive Christ as well! Thank you Father! So yeah we don’t really live together and I try and head over and see her during the weekends, as much as I can since I’m in Uni. I think she would really love this and it could be something we could bond over especially when she’ll be 16 soon, hopefully Fiji citizens are included in this! lol … Anyways I just want to let you guys know that its really cool what you’re doing, and love your posts on Facebook! You’re such an encouragement to girls like myself and my sister and we just love what God has been using you for. Thank you so much and God bless!
I wish I had realized the difference between good and bad attention. I wish I had cared less about boys and more about what others thought and been a better friend!
I wish I had even know what it meant to be a God’s Birl. That I was not defined by what someone thought of me. I wish I had only ever been a friend to a guy and left my time of being a girlfriend to later in life.
I wish I had this book available to me when I was a young girl…..so much woundedness in my young life……and it’s definitely affected me as an adult. I pray for both of my girls….especially my youngest and would love to go through this book with her. A wonderful opportunity to connect and talk.
I wish I would have known to wait…and not marry the first man who asked me.
Thank you for this book recommendation. Our 10-year-old granddaughter would love to have a copy, and I would love to give her one! Thank you for your ministry, Renee. It is truly a blessing to me (and to my Bible study girls). Thank you!
When I was a freshman in high school I had a crush on a boy. I spent so much time obsessing over him, it consumed me. He ended up dating another girl who never even showed interest in him, and she was a friend of mine. It hurt, but I realized then that I had the whole thing wrong. That was my last crush, things changed for me, but I still didn’t know that I need to fill that obsession with Jesus. thankfully, I met a man after I graduated college…who pointed me to Christ, his family loved me and taught me about a relation with Jesus and I am eternally grateful.
So many years I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I wish I had known that The Guy has always thought I am good enough. He loves me just like I am. I don’t have to try to be someone I’m not.
My Dad always told me to “remember who you are”. It didn’t only mean what earthly family I belonged too but also my Christian family. A good reminder during my teenage and young adult years.
Real love doesn’t hurt you.
Because you matter – to God and to me.
I always said I was raised by Daddy God, my father loved me lots but was absent and my mother was broken winged…I’m so thankful for God’s grace teaching me when I was a little girl to depend only on Him. He was my fortress while being a young woman… I always said I would not marry if I didn’t find a guy who wholeheartedly lives for God. God is still my Daddy and my Protector and April I was married for 20 years to my best friend.
I have a princess of 9 years that need to know God is her Daddy for now and forever.
I would love this book for myself & my four beautiful daughters. I feel overwhelmed at times because i don’t know if I’m meeting all of their emotional needs. I wish i knew how special I was to God growing up. I remember going to a new church & it was about God’s love. I had tears streaming down my face because it hit me for the 1st time how special I am to Him. I feel like I am learning along with my girls. I praise God for where He has brought me & that my prayer is that the girls can have this personal relationship with God at a young age.
This will be a great book for me and my 5yr old. 😉
As a young woman, the most important thing I wish I had known was that I was already loved and accepted by THE most important presence in my life. It would have given me a peace and a confidence I needed so much. My own daughter turns 8 in just a few days, and whether I win a copy for her or go get one at the bookstore, she will be receiving this from me with a special note inside for her birthday.
I wish I would have known that He already lived me and accepted me, that I was enough…still learning it and trying to show my 14-year old that she is His princess first and foremost! 🙂
I think this book would be great for myself and my daughter…thanks for the chance to win.
I wish I’d known Jesus as my Savior as a child, especially in my teenage years. I wish someone would have taken the time to teach me how much He loves me and that my identity is in Him, not in whether or not I’ve got a boyfriend. I’ve been blessed with 3 daughters whom I am trying to instill these truths in. <3
The best advice I had gotten as a teen was that love isn’t selfish. If someone is trying to get you to do something you aren’t ready for or is trying to make you feel guilty, then it’s not love. I did not have God in my life when I was younger. I hope that my daughters have been taught to value themselves and that God values them and true love is worth waiting for!
God was behind a curtain of ritual, performance, and tradition in my growing up years, and it seemed to be only perfection that could guarantee His love & blessing. The college years introduced the idols of intellectual recognition & material security as more attainable & fun to worship, but they crashed to the ground by the time I entered middle age. By God’s grace, He worked through my children to lead me to Him and to a life as His child, in spite of my years of not acknowledging Him. I want to read Magnetic by Lynn Cowell to find out what I may still be missing, and to reinforce in my granddaughters’ lives how lovable they are.
I want my granddaughter to have the freedom of heart to know who she is in Christ and how that relates to her everyday world. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Being the only girl in my family..having two brothers, my a Dad & a Mother that never came around after her divorce from my Dad……I was alone. I really could have used advice, a mentor, just someone that cared enough to tell me how God expected me to live & how much He loved me. Even when I felt like no one did. More than 30 years later, married & the Mother of two daughters of my own, my heart’s desire is to give my girls all the love, encouragement & hope I can. God has blessed me so much & I pray He holds my daughters in His hands always! I need all the help I can get in showing God’s Word to them! I love them deeply. Almost as much as He does! ❤️
We have a beautiful 15 year old daughter that I would love to share this with. I surely could have used this in my younger years.
This book sounds amazing…with 2 little girlies, I can’t wait to read it. I wish that I would have known (especially in high school & college) that I couldn’t do enough or be good enough on my own. I think I struggled to feel accepted & was the ‘good girl’ or appeared to be. Had I realized that God loved me right there…without all the effort put into being good enough or doing the right things, I may have stopped focusing so much on pleasing people & more on loving/glorifying God.
Our world teaches girls at a young age that beauty is physical and our value comes from others’ opinions. I have a few girls in my life/church that could benefit from this book.
Wish I would have known how I was worth so much more than I was told by certain people. And that God was going to place the right person for me at the right time.
Awesome!! Would really like to have this book
As a single mom to an 11year old girl as well as 7, 9, and 13 year old boys, I want all my children to fall in love with Jesus, before they fall in love with anyone else. I need to fall in love with Jesus every day so I can be their example.
I have 2 girls, ages 12 and 5. I was given advice not to date any young man that you would not want to spend the rest of your life with. I want my girls to seek God first, that by being in love with Him, they will know when the right man comes along.
I am a single 23 year old who has always come short of “perfect” every guy that has come along, I’ve always wanted to make him happy, and I would try to bend over backwards to do so, I never compromised my standards but if he thought something was wrong with me I would fix it…At one time I was confident in who I was in The Lord and knew He had a perfect plan for me, however, One double-minded man totally destroyed all of it, and degraded me physically and emotionally. When we first met everything about me was perfect and gorgeous, and he had made promises to marry me. However, the longer we were together the more he wanted to perfect me. I wasn’t gorgeous anymore “but you could be if you__________” I was devastated at this and worked rigorously to please him. However, it was all in vain for when he learned of other failures I had made he couldn’t handle it, and I was left with my face to the ground and no hope. I was only left with his harsh words and unrealistic expectations that screamed “what were you thinking? you will never be good enough” It is a year later and I am just now beginning to trust again, hope again and believe the truth of God’s Word that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I think this book would be extremely beneficial in my growth. I would like to be able to share it with my little sisters as well.
God is working in me to realize that He is the one that comes first, not my husband, my kids, life. I’ve chased the elusive need to be liked and loved for so long. I’m now realizing that love is always available and I’ve been looking to others instead of The One who already loves me. I want to teach my daughters and me this each and every day!
I was lucky to grow up in a very loving, Christian home where I was reminded often that I was loved by my parents and the King! When I left for college and learned to live “independently” I struggled with feelings of inferiority…..and sometimes still do. As I raise my two daughters, who are 15 and 18, I want them to know that their worth and value is found in the love Jesus has for them. I pray this over them as I watch them struggle with societal expectations of girls, the media’s portrayal of “beauty” and messages that measure them based on their looks. They love The Lord and I keep praying His grace over their lives.
I wish i knew to turn to God when i was younger. I can remember sitting in my room almost daily feeling so alone, my mom would come and check on me and i would tell her to ‘leave me alone,’ and she did. Looking back, i was so lonely and depressed. I didn’t have any real friends. And i didn’t know how to ask for help. I want my girls to have the confidence to ask for help when they need it.
Love Gods timing , I have been looking for a book for my daughter. She just started high school . It’s a new stage and this book would be wonderful for her to read each night. At this age they are trying to figure out so many areas of who they want to be .
Thank you for writing this book.
Her identity is found thought Christ alone, no one else!! Single mom of a beautiful 8 yr old and it has taken me my whole life to learn this…doing my very best to instill in her now!! 🙂
I wished I had not worried so much about what other people thought of me, in all aspects of life. I wish I had “put myself out there” more. I was too timid and worried all the time (kinda like how I still am, lol)
I wish I had had the relationship with Christ that is developing in me now; it would have been a more intentional teen time. I have a 23 year old who is still trying to find that value that only Jesus can give.