“We can trust God’s plans as we realize that His story is being written into ours. His power is perfected in the broken places we consider to be our greatest weaknesses – our most vulnerable emotions we don’t want anyone to know about. In those hiding places, God calls us out of captivity. When we’re willing to let Him, He brings hope for our future despite the pain of our past.” – Chapter 4
Chapter 4 takes a lot of courage. And I’m so proud of you for being here and not giving up, for wanting all He has for you. I know your Heavenly Father is so proud of you too, for your pursuit and your willingness to walk with Him one step at a time. Remember Christ died to forgive our sins but also to heal our souls so that we can live in Him – with HOPE again!
Don’t give up friend, no matter what! Stay close to Jesus. Stay connected here. We’re in this together. HE is so worthy!! And you? You are so worth it!!
Here’s this week’s messages. Please don’t miss it. I want to be able to share with you face to face this. You were on my mind and in my prayers when I filmed this teaching several weeks ago. Please click the arrow below to watch.
Message Notes: You can download video “Message Notes” in a PDF format here or in a MSWord doc here. I encourage you to watch it once and just let God speak to your heart. Then if you want to, watch it a second time and follow along with the message notes which include parts of the message, verses and blanks to fill in. 🙂
I know the timelines I encourage you to do are scary for many. I really do understand. And it takes time. I wish I had shared that more clearly in the book. Today I’m praying for God to give you courage and perseverance to press through any fear that would keep you from starting it. Fear is Satan’s way of keeping us from the freedom God wants in our lives. You don’t have to do a timeline if you don’t want to or if God doesn’t lead you to. The reason I encourage one is because it’s valuable for us to identify memories and emotions caused in the past that play a role in how you see ourselves and others, and how we handle life and relationships today.
In her comments under this post, May shared how she’s been taking it a little at a time and how answering the questions at the end of the chapter has helped her start her timeline.
Connecting in Community: Let’s share with each other what God showed you through our video message? Also, if you feel comfortable, please share some of your answers to questions at end of Chapter 4.
Click “share your thoughts” right below this post and do just that. I’ll be here reading and praying and commenting as time allows. Let’s take a minute today to pray for or encourage someone else as time allows. This chapter is one where it sure is good to know we have friends here to pray and walk beside us, isn’t it? LOVE you guys!!!
A little late on this but wanted to share my answers from chapter 4.
Question 1 . I was lied to and betrayed by several boyfriends and friends through high school and college and always struggled with trusting others. With that I also struggled with trusting god that he did unconditionally love me and forgave me. He wants my perspective to say that I can trust him with all my hurts and failures and that he will use everything he has brought to me to bring me through.
2. Several years ago I really was ready for motherhood and to start a family but my husband was not. I kept asking god if you love me then why am not a mom yet? I was very sad and overwhelmed by this but through it learned that I needed to trust god’s timing and not my own. Last year I became pregnant and gave birth to my beautiful daughter Abby on feb 28th of this year. She will be turning one in just a few weeks.
3. My sister in law and brother have been trying to have kids for several years now and have dealt with infertility issues. Seeing them struggle with this has been hard on me. My sister in law got pregnant last year but ended up having a miscarriage. Although I have never experienced infertility issues I feel that god has used me to bring comfort to them. I know how it feels to really want kids and to not have it happen in the time I wanted it too. I have comforted them by telling them to pray and trust god that he has a purpose and plan for them through this.
4. I have had to learn how to trust god and others in my life completely just like I mentioned in number 1. I dated someone in high school who was controlling, jealous, verbally abusive, and a liar. Needless to say it was not a good relationship and caused me to keep my distance and stop trusting others. He was my first love and I was deeply hurt.
5.he promises a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair, and he will be a great oak that the lord has planted for his glory.
6. Unforgiveness holds you hostage because you are filled with anger and hurt inside of you and don’t release it.
7. I have run from the story that god has written in my life. I sense him inviting me to share with someone the broken to beautiful pieces of my life.
It is so amazing how God works in our lives. Everything I have picked up this week has had the verse Jer. 29:11 on it. I know that God loves me and cares for me but I have found a new hope for today and tomorrow, and to keep my focus on Him.
In refernce to Chapter 4 and the questions at the end – I have definately run from the story God had written in my life. It makes me so very sad every day.
Hi to all,
I just wanted to put out a request for prayer. My Dad has been ill for quite some time and they don’t think he will make it past today. I especially ask prayer for my Mom, and all the family. Thank you so
much.
V, I pray God’s peace for your family and strength in this time. Lord, carry this burden for them, as they see their earthly father/husband off to his new home with you.
Thank you so much for your prayers. Very much appreciated.
Praying for you V, how is your dad??
Renee,
Thank you so much for your prayers. My Dad passed away yesterday afternoon. The funeral will be on Saturday. Thank you so much. God bless you.
This chapter is very deep and heavy for me to read. At first I thought, “heck, this will be easy!”. But WHAM! God brought a lot of unresolved issues and wanted me to deal with them through Him. I think this chapter will not be like other chapters in our lives that we close and move on, this is a chapter that I will keep working through. New challenges each and everyday. But, through Gods forgiveness and grace He will lead us ALL through! Victoriously!
I have been praying and continue to pray for all of us P31 sisters. God brought us all together for a reason..to glorify Him.
This chapter was so timely for me this week. My husband lost his job on tuesday. But praise the lord that i was hired a week prior to that at a great job with fabulous benefits. I have used so much of chapter 4 to help both my husband and I handle this storm with God at our side and not let old fears creep in.
AUTHORINE says
Feburary11,2012,
IRenee, I am glad that you’re okay.I am thankful that I am reading and studing this book.My eyes have been open about so much.Reading the comments have been so inspiring and encouraging for me. Praying for .all the ladies for all you are going through.May God bless you.
Answer to question # 7. Yes, I have run from the story God written in my life. At the end of this chapter (I don’t know how to know the page # on my Kindle edition), Renee, you said we find Him over and over again. We find Him who leads us to the freedom that He wants us to have. I too have walked it, wrestled with it, resisted it, and finally surrendered it just this past few weeks. God’s love is not only perfect and unfailing, it redeems and restores. His truth does cut to the core of our struggles, bringing purpose to our pain, redemption from our past and hope for our future!
I know several people who needs to hear there is hope in what they are dealing with. Actually yesterday I talked, prayed, and sang the song In the Calm to one of them. I was at his house with his wife and grandsons. He is dealing with Parkinson’s and asked me to sit with him on the couch. He told me that I looked really calm with all that I have dealt with and that he wanted to touch my arm so that he could be calm. Then he told me that he felt that the Parkinson’s is taking over his life and he can’t control his shakes. Next thing I know I knew that God was prompting me to not only pray for him but also share my story with him. Then I sang him the song. You know that while I was doing this he became so calm and stopped shaking.
It’s funny how I offered to tell my story to this friend before I even knew about this question! God works in mysterious ways! Yes, I will continue relying on God to have me share the story He wants me to share with many people. I am no longer going to run from it anymore. I want God to speak through me to help others.
Thank you Renee. Much of what you have experience aim going through now. My parents divorced when I was young. I looked up to my dad. I always wanted to go with him everywhere he went. Yes, daddy’s little girl. He didn’t seem as if he wanted me or wanted to be around me. I didn’t understand why. Growing up, I never got over that. I’m still struggling Forsyth that. But like you said it is a process. I like to say that I’m a work in progress because I have a lot of growing up to do. I can admit that. But I often have found that I would get into relationships because I was searching for something that I didn’t get as a child with my dad. My uncle would try to fill that void but like I said I was daddy’s girl. I wanted my dad to be a dad. I found my husband and boy I love him. Lately I have found that I have a lot of bitterness and resentment but am unsure where that is coming from. When I read this chapter, it put it all into perspective. I have to be able to forgive my father for the past as well as other instances, and I also have to forgive myself for some wrongs that I have committed against other people because I was messed up. Thank you for this first step for me.
#4 Past relationships have made me feel that there was no hope for change in the future. This has affected my relationships today by making it difficult to trust, be open and vulnerable with others, esp. with the opposite gender. With the help of my Lord and Savior, my Healer this has gotten much better–the past couple of years.
#6 Unforgiveness keeps us in bondage and can cause us to become bitter. To forgive is not only to set someone free it has the power to set us free as well. Forgivness puts God on the road/path to our healing from the hurt. Unforgiveness keeps us from growing in our wa;k with God. Unforgiveness gives satan a foothold to use the hurt against us, to lead us away from god and toward destruction in our lives. Forgivness releases Satan’s hold on us, so God’s power and love can step in to begin our healing process. I don’t feel there is someone at this time that I need to forgive. If I am wrong on this matter I am sure god will let me know it. I have had to forgive alot of people, and with God’s power and strength I did it. forgiveness has great power in it to set us free.
Something I learned from a card I was given:
HOW TO SPELL FORGIVE
Forget slights and wrongs.
Open your heart.
Reach out to others.
Grant pardon for all.
Invite dialogue.
Value peace.
Empathize and understand.
Be kind and commpassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13).
God Bless Each and Every One of My Sisters Doing This Study, Prayers Our With You All.
Thankyou Caroline for this, I definitely need some encouragement in the area of forgiveness tonight & this really helped! My husband, myself & our 10 month old have all been really sick for over a week & needless to say it has caused alot of tension in our marriage this week. Your comment really challenged me to look at forgiveness in a new way & to forgive & ask for forgiveness from my husband! .
Amen sister
Thank you for your video. I really liked what you said about how the Lord can help us to the following in our lives as we try to deal with or handle past or present struggles:
– Allow God to begin the process of past memories or failures
– Ask Jesus to search our hearts of past sins or struggles
– Allow Him to bring His perspective to the situation
-Redemption and Restoration will come.
– God’s love is redeeming
Thanks Angela, I love how you broke it down into simple statements we can remember 🙂
This is an amazing study Renee! Something good will come from all the hurt. This music video was shared with me and it goes along with this study. Listen and enjoy. I am so glad you are better! Blessings and love, Pat
Thank you Pat for sharing this music video with us it surely does tie in with this chapter. It made my day and was also something I needed to hear today. I t served as a good reminder that god is with us. God Bless
This morning started out peaceful but then I got bad news in the mail but I had yet to come to Renee’s page and be filled with everyone’s testimony as to how God is working in their lives and I knew my peace would be revived. I just read the last comment and I am again filled with the sense of God that is received by joining this community and praying for others as their needs are revealed. I am not done with Chapter 4 but that is my next task that I am looking forward to, especially after enjoying your video Renee. Thank-you all for the blessings from this community.
This chapter was a confirmation for me, as several months ago, I had felt God prompting me to write down all the childhood hurts that I had been trying to ignore for so many years. It took me over 2 months to get through the process – but it was worth it. It was as if putting those events and feelings onto the page somehow released me from being in bondage to them. Each event, whether little or not, seemed to lose any power over me, as I put a face to them. The truth that I discovered along the way was that although I had taken these issues to God and even forgiven the people involved, I hadn’t handed the hurt over. I think I was ashamed….the fact that I had been so rejected by my own parents was surely a reflection on my failure as a daughter – and now as a woman. If I didn’t talk about it, think about it,or deal with it….then maybe I wasn’t really such a let down to everyone. Facing the pain – voicing how it made me feel – was truely liberating. Through the process I came to see that I had spent so much time trying to make my parents love me more…trying to be equal to my sister….but I just never could measure up. God made me see that I can’t MAKE them love me more than they do. It wasn’t my job to try to change them….that was His job. It was a futile exercise, and it was distracting me from living in the freedom he had planned for me. What He showed me was that I didn’t have to work hard to be loved by HIM – in fact I didn’t have to work at all! He showed me that He doesn’t have “favorites” and that He loved me “before I was formed in my mother’s womb”. I felt total acceptance by the creator of the universe!! I know that total healing is a process, but I encourage you to dig deep and face the things you have pushed down the furtherest. There truely is LIGHT at the end of the tunnel!
I’ve made a timeline. Starting was easy as I put in the highlights of my life – birth, a move at 11, graduation, the birth of my son, finding a really good job, accepting Christ, joining a really good church, etc. That was earlier this week. Since then I’ve add other events that God is bringing to mind. Recklessly losing my virginity at 18 is pursuit of love and protection. 22 years of poor relationship choices that lead to my becoming a single parent at 22 and never finding that husband, love and protection I was looking for. Since God opened my eyes to my need for Him in 1999 I so wish I could say things are better, I know they are but it’s been a long journey, and some days I simply long for heaven – this world is so hard. I thought I had processed all the emotions, but apparently not, and I’m not eagar to go there but I see the wisdom of doing this again with God and in the way you just described in the video.
I’m so glad you are going through the book slowly, it’s really helping me to read each chapter once through and then again to highlight and meditate and then a third time as I answer the questions at the end. Today is Sat and with the addition of the timeline I’m behind on the questions but don’t feel pressured and that’s such a plus in this fast paced, pressure driven world. God bless you Rene and all my sisters in Christ on this journey.
Thank you Renee for sharing your struggles with us. This chapter has come at such a perfect time for me as I am going through some very challenging times at work right now. I realize that some of my emotions and thoughts of failure, unworthiness, unacceptance is a result of my past. Unfortunately, my situation at work has now created bitterness in my heart towards a colleague and I feel so yucky inside. Yet on he outside I am this calm and positive person. It’s tough pretending that I am not hurt. The Lord has a plan for me and I know He is using this season in my life for a reason. Please pray that I may soften my heart towards my colleague and that my actions and words will be a positive reflection of our savior.
What you are saying is so true .The enemy will use past hurts to keep you from God .My dad died and blamed me for why he lefted me as a child I tryed to hug him on his death bed he pushed me away .Then I recieved christ About a 1 year later and continually hearing your not saved God rejected you >over and over .I asked for counsle from the Holy spirit and my Dad came to mind And confessed to God I was rejected by him and he showed me how the enemy used my hurt to keep me from his smiling face.I was rejected at birth but my abba is greater .
Renee,
I am enjoying A Confident Heart so much! God is truly using it to help and strengthen me as I walk this journey to a heart that is confident. Although I am participating weekly, I am reading farther ahead and then I’m going back and reading those chapters and reviewing the questions again. I have to tell you the review questions have really been so insightful. I have pages and pages of answers in a notebook. Thank you, again, for being willing to allow God to make your mess HIS message. It’s speaking to me : )
Hello sweet sisters…I woke up so early this morning…Started praying our prayers and looking at highlighted areas…It brought me to trying yet again, so many times in my life of counseling and trying to heal, it brought me to so many blanks, so little remembered of 16 years of my life…after that time I remember more and most of it is all my sinful ways as I searched for someone, anyone to love me….I found a man who I know now just wanted what he wanted. He was wild and crazy and that was all I knew as a child in my home. So I slept with him, at 16…I lost my most special place, I lost so much more but through it all I gained a son. At 17 I was pregnant…18 I married him and had my son….21 divorced and abandoned yet again…That son is 38 now and one of two sons who are the joy of my life…Those years are hard to look at, but God! I feel pain and hurt and I am so grateful i can give it to Him, because I don’t want to hurt anymore…”Can anybody hear her, does anyone even know she is here…”…Thank you all my sweet sisters…Peggy
I set out to do this study thinking it will help me through the things I’m experiencing with my “adult” children. As i go further in the study and every time I watch your video, I’m beginning to think God has something different in mind or something more. I have repressed so much of my past to protect others and myself,because, I am terrified of what God will ask me to do. I haven’t been able to dig in to the timeline, i use time as an excuse, but God and I both know why I don’t. I have felt like I am in a good place. Why mess it up? The more I read the book and others stories….I know it’s so God can use me for His glory. Please pray i find the courage to really dig in and let God search the darkest place, so that I won’t be held captive to my past.
Please pray for this family in Bastrop, TX. I have never met them, but they had donations jars (just like I did) from National Transplant Assistance Fund (now Help Hope Live). I get email updates on how he is doing. This is what his mom wrote today: Our hearts are broken and we are aching.
The MRI results from January 30 are in and are final. All of the medical teams, including oncology, neurology and radiology in Austin and Memorial Sloan-Kettering, agree that the cancer is progressing. What they previously called a cyst is now called a tumor mass. The cancer has grown even with this most recent radiation. There are no curative treatments remaining for our baby boy.
We have asked Mathaus to suffer through so many horrible treatments and procedures in return for a cure. His little body has endured so much. We cannot ask him to suffer anymore treatments if they are of no benefit to him.
We have done everything possible we could to cure him. We have asked so much of him. It wouldn’t be right to ask him to suffer any more. We know that each day we have had with Mathaus has been a blessing, a gift and a miracle. So we find ourselves in a special place. We have chosen to keep Mathaus’ comfort an d quality of life top priority. We plan to fill each day with love, fun, family, friends, laughter, silliness, snuggles, dancing and more love!
How is Mathaus now?
He is doing well. His pain has recently increased, but we have since increased medications and it seems to be back at a good place. He needs lots of meds, but he gets around, walks and plays. He is still dancing! He loves to snuggle and of course keeps McQueen very close. He is vocal and knows what he wants and doesn’t want, just as any 2 ½ year old should. He can still get out and about and he can play and have fun.
Right now our focus is on maximizing quality family time. We don’t know how long we have together. I once posted that with radiation he may have a year of life, but this tumor is growing fast and truly only God knows. While he is with us we want to celebrate Mathaus and what he means to all of us. We want to do a lot of things we haven’t been able during these years of treatment like getting together with you, our family and friends. So we are welcoming visitors and asking you to please come, our door is open. Bring fun and love, but it is ok if we cry too. We want to fill our home with family, friends, love and laughter. We want to make beautiful memories to always treasure.
What do we need?
We need to know you still think of us, pray for us and love us. We know there doesn’t seem like there are the right words to say but hearing from you gives us strength that we are not alone. We know this is scary and painful but imagine if you had to do it alone. We need you. Your love and support has helped us through these years and no doubt we need that now more than ever.
We need forgiveness and understanding if we seem inconsistent. We are feeling up and down. We have moments of great sadness and moments of knowing we have a choice to be happy and present in these too few precious moments. We need forgiveness if we d on’t reply or respond. Between Mathaus’ needs and emotional turbulence we may loose track, but your messages are read and each greatly appreciated.
We need to know how Mathaus has touched your life. This feels very important. I know God put Mathaus here for a purpose. I may never know God’s purpose while I’m here but my mother’s heart wants to know that in his short beautiful life he has made a difference and touched lives. So please take some time to send us a note and ask others to do the same. This would mean so very much to us.
We haven’t looked to far ahead. We are still trying to process and decide how to spend our time while we have it.
We have spoken with the kids. They are ok, but death is hard to understand at their age. We are ready if you would like to speak with yours. We know that there are so many little hearts that will be touched when Mathaus dies. We are keeping all of your little hearts in mind. They will need to grieve and be given information in their own way and time. We are not afraid of their questions, it’s ok for them to ask. Please don’t feel bad if they do. It really is ok.
Soon I will post a list of books and resources I have been given from the social workers that you can use for your families as well. I am also able to get a book and video made by Sesame Street called When Families Grieve for any of you that would like it. My favorite book so far is ‘Gentle Willow’ by Joyce c. Mills.
We know that Mathaus’ time with us has been a gift and we want to celebrate and treasure each moment we have of God’s precious gift.
So, please pray for this precious family.
I have reached out to the mom today by email and I am going to make a cross for her family and little Mathias. I am also going to give her one of my songs that I wrote that God gave me to give to another family who lost a child to brain cancer. I feel I need to help this family and I am going to reach out to them more.
#5 Now I can see how God can use our sufferings and despair to make us stronger and bestow upon us the spiritual strength and wisdom we need. This gives us hope that we can be released from the pai of our past. #6 Unforgiveness strangles any progress that you can make to mover forward. If left to fester and grow it will become bitterness and stop any forward progress in out spiritual lives. I sitll struggle with this problem with 2 family members, but I am progressing a little bit at a time. #7 Yes I have felt moved to help many people by sharing my story, and now thru this particular chapter I feel like I can. God has spoke to me thru this study and gave me more confidence to move forward despite the pain from the past.
Renee thank you for sharing the video and your story. My parents also divorced when I was young so I can relate to alot of your story. My father was an alcoholic and abused my mother alot, so eventually my mother had his visitations taken away from him. So I really never really knew what it was like to have a father. I did believe in God and all, but didn’t really except Him as my heavenly Father untill 8 years ago when I became a Christian and began to have a relationship with Him. then I learned I always had a father in my life that loved me and would always be there for me. The only thing was I couldn’t see Him. God Bless
Caroline- I just logged on to this and happened to read your comment first…meant to be…this is exactly what I am going through right now. Your mother was a brave woman to leave and I’m sure she agonized, as I am, over the effect it would have on “the children.” I just keep asking God to lead me day by day. I don’t know what the future holds but I believe there is hope for us all, even if we didn’t have a “fairy tale” childhood (or marriage in my case!).
KathE Just keep in mind that You are not alone your Lord and Savior will be walking right alongside you as He has done for me. Ask Him for direction for your life. As for children love them the way God intended them to be loved. For this is also Jesus’ greatest commandment although it is hard for some it is usually easy to do with children. May the good Lord guide and protect you and your family. And remember time heals all wounds. Time is also haw children spell Love. God be with you my friend and sister.
In reading the discussion questions for Lesson 4:
#1 When I was little and a new christian I did not see how God could possible use me for anything as I was shy, scared to death of people and couldn’t trust anyone. But that all changed somehow when I had graduated from high school and lived on my own for a while and then worked full-time and got engaged and married. I felt like I had made it. I had 2 little girls and and was married. I guess I made mistakes and still wondered how God could use me. When my marriage fell apart and I was left all alone, I realized that I love God and no circumstance is going to make me change my mind. I take the Word seriously and hunger for it more than I ever have. We live in a fallen sinful world and bad things happen. He has used broken sinful people all the time throughout the Bible, so I guess he can use me.
#2 God loves me, but he gave us free will. Unfortunately I have made mistakes in my life that have taken me away from Gods protection and also people have hurt me – we live in a fallen world. I Peter 4:12-13.
#3 I felt like God has carried me during some real difficult times in the past. When traveling 9 months pregnant to my brother’s funeral with an angry hostile husband. God just gave me this awesome peace!
Please pray for me as I go through the process of healing of past hurts. Indeed, lots of tears… You gave me hope by saying it takes time to heal. I connected to what you said in the video 100%. Again, please pray for me to give myself to the Lord 100% and let Him pour His will over me.
Felicia, As many of us read through others comments and come to yours, many prayers will be lifted up for you. I am commenting specifically on your comment but have lifted prayers to many others as I read their comments so while you may not see many replies to your comments, there are many of us reading it. I pray to God that as your tears become more cleansing than painful and His grace and peace surround you as you grow into that new creation we are all promised to become through our faith in Christ.
Ack! It takes me a long time to process what I read. I have to write down my thoughts in order to make sure that I have it clearly understood. I just finished reading chapter 3. I don’t like being behind!
Renee, I wouldn’t mind if you took some time to fully recover and we all could slow down.
Thanks so much for that video! That was very inspirational. I will keep seeking God and believing to see the wonderful plan he has for me! God bless you!
Hi again Renee,
Wanted to say thank you for the e-mail you sent out this evening and sending some “hope” our way. Just what I needed. Also, the picture and verse from Jeremiah 29:11. I started the day feeling hope, but towards the end, I wasn’t “feeling” much hope. I have been thinking back over what my counselor and I discussed today, and it is difficult.Thank you for taking us back to God, our hope always.
I just found your site tonight. Thank you for new inspiration. I am looking forward to following you in the future. Blessings.
Funny you should read from page 81 because I love the line – “Learning to live in the security of God’s promises is a daily journey of dependence.” Not only reminding us that this is not some miracle that happens in a second, but that we need to be aware of this minute by minute and that we need to learn to be dependent (something most of us are not good at doing!) on God every one of those minutes:) Thanks Renee!
Pam,
My thoughts EXACTLY…….the devil is just waiting around the corner for you to let your shield down!
This may sound crazy, but I have to admit, facing the whole “write out a timeline” has been super challenging for me! I am afraid of scratching scabs off the old wounds. Yet, I am seeing I am not alone… Not only are some of you having the same fears I am, which is comforting (even though I hate ya’ll are hurting as well), but I was comforted by the truth that God is right here with us as we go through this process. Let’s work through this knowing “God’s truth cuts to the core of our struggles, bringing purpose to our pain, redemption from the past, and HOPE for our future”…how awesome is that!!!!!!!!!!!!! We CAN and WILL do this timeline! I love you, SIsters and are praying for you!!!
Thank you so much for this video. I love how you put the verses in Jeremiah 29 in their proper context. I have to admit that the first time I read your book I got as far as Chapter 4 and put the book down. I didn’t want to do the timeline.Then I saw that you were leading a study through the book and decided to give it a second chance.
The reason I didn’t want to do the timeline is because at various times over the past 30 years of being a believer, I have had to deal with my past. My problem was that I couldn’t seem to keep it in the past as it was always creeping into my today. I see now that even though God has healed my past, I was clinging to the guilt. In Psalm 32:5 it says that God has forgiven the guilt of my sin. In Romans 8:1 it says there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ. I am looking forward to continuing to read the rest of the book. I will now read it with the view that I am a new creation in Christ, behold the old is gone and the new is here.
Thank you for the hope that you have written between the pages of your book.
Thanks so much on the video for today. I really enjoyed it so much. Please be praying for us. We are going through some rough spots with our finances. Pray for God’s wisdom and favor in my husband’s job and that he can find a new job to bring in more money. Thanks again for the video.
Jeanie Kelley
this chapter was very interesting,it hit home with me,but kinda struggled with it too. but was a good chapter. the questions i have yet to answer yet,working on that yet. i am so glad for this study because this is exactly what i need right now. glad god is working through to teach us what we need to know out of this study. so glad there is always HOPE in God.
thankyou so much.
Hi CH Ladies,
Wow talk about God’s timing! Chapter 1-4 has been very eye opening to read & it is at a perfect time. I work at a private Christian school and we have been under such spiritual attack because God is about to do some amazing things here. Last week we had Spiritual Emphasis week which we do every year & it’s a week where the students go to chapel every day & a group comes down to minister to the kids.
Well of course this week the ongoing problems with girls in the 6th grade have come to a head. I met with the girls today & spoke to them on how we need to view each other & treat each other. I told them that they have been listening to the lies the enemy has been telling them and that is that they are ugly, worthless, and so on.
The meeting ended with the girls asking forgiveness from each other and clearing the air on some issues. It was a precious time of sharing as some girls were amazed where some of their friends were coming from.
I gave them a homework assignment which was to take time this weekend & write each girls name down on and list 1 good characteristic they see for that particular girl. They are to put their name last & write a positive about themself too. We are to meet on Monday to discuss them.
I am asking you to please cover these girls in prayer this weekend. Also please pray that the Lord would continue to use me to reach these beautiful girls and speak truth into their lives about their worth and their beauty!
The girls names are Aria, Nicole, Christine, Lianna, Brooke, Sophia, Ava, Gabrielle, Noelani, Juliana, Brianna, Caitlyn, Christina
I look forward to sharing the testimony about how the Lord spoke into their life this weekend as they have been lifted up before Him!
Thank you so much!
I will pray for these girls. My 10 year old daughter has issues with other girls in her class. We discuss these same issues. It is sad. Girls can be so mean. So many of her girl “friends” are from divorced families and suffer from neglect, verbal abuse, and exposure to inappropriate behavior and media. I encourage my daughter to invite them to our house where we can be a witness to them or just feed them!
What a wonderful ministry you have with girls this age. I am a school teacher in a public school. How I long to be able to share the truth I know with the two girls I mentor. You are in my thoughts and prayers for wisdom, love and guidance with these girls.
Answering the reflection questions at the end of the chpts has really helped with doing this timeline bc the questions made me start processing things from my childhood, understanding why things happened, how those things affected me and then understanding how God was there in the midst of it all. And understanding how it’s true that God heals, redeems our past and guarantees hope for our future. Answering those questions has been so hard and I’m glad that little by little I’ve been answering them so that the writing of this timeline/processing of these hurtful memories has been more gradual and a bit better to handle. Doing this is a HUGE task to tackle. And just like others have said here on this blog, we are all together and we are not alone in this. And God is right here w/ us! Taking it little by little, giving myself time to simmer for a few days what I write in my journal, has been so good. Let us feel God comforting us, being tender with us, healing us.
It is the end of the week and I was just now able to create a timeline. Being visual person, I needed to create in a format where it would be there. I have no idea what God is going to teach me but am praying that my heart will be teachable.
Renee, I hope your bronchitis is better.
Wow!!! I can’t believe how much this chapter hit home for me. I got emotional several times and I was even prompted to make a phone call right then and there, as I was reading, and make an apology. As a baby Christian (11-3-11), I know I have a lot of work to do but this really made me see how much. I know that there is hope and I have God to hold my hand along the way. Past hurts seem to play a major part of my entire life, but especially with my relationships with men. I am comforted in my troubles by knowing that I am not the only one that has the same problems and I feel that I am slowly changing. I know this will be a process but I pray that I can work through it quickly and get on with my new life. Thank you Renee and thank God for bringing me to your words of healing!
I never realized that my doubt’s in myself were something to bring to God. But by doing this through His power and love I will be able to see His plan for me. thank you Renee. Blessings on this day. Peg
Hope you feel better soon. Thanks for the video.
“The conflict with my old friend had led me to bitterness in my heart, and the Holy Spirit helped me see that I had played a role in it. I needed to forgive her and ask her to forgive whatever i had done to upset her so much.Ouch! It was hard to accept but I wanted freedom no matter what it would cost me” Chapter 4 pg 77…
This is just another part of my past and the pain i caused myself and others. I am a true friend, when I have one i am a complete lifelong friend. Or at least i want to be. I was friends with a woman in my early 30’s that i thought would be life long. We had our babies a month apart. I had known her husband first but when we met, we just clicked. I started to watch her daughter when she worked. They were both 2 at the time. I had 3 sons so she became like the daughter I never had. Kate and I became great friends. We were so very close for the next 15 years. Throughout that time i was (admittedly so) very needy. She was strong, college educated and confident in herself. I guess i saw what i had nothing of in her. I wanted it for myself. We laughed and cried together ver the years…she was a good friend and i was to her. The problems i had caused her after 18 years of friendship to start backing away. Our children were going into High School now and that little girl was a beautiful young lady. She and my son were very close. I lost that friendship with Kate. I will never forget her words that still sting today. …”I just can’t do it anymore Peggy” I was devastated by losing that friendship. She was everything i thought i wasn’t. No, i don’t have an education but in Christ i am confident and strong. I know that now and i also know that I brought much into the friendship. No guilt, no shame…Regrets, i try not to have any, but i wish i had listened to her more. It was not the way it was supposed to end. A few years ago I went back to visit her.. We hugged, she forgave, but she had a block there i could feel it, and I suppose it is for the best. It still hurts sometimes but I know now, that her love for the Lord is shallow and she lives in the world, My light shines brighter with Jesus being my only true friend today. Thanks for letting me share my still tender pain.
Wow!!! RENEE and CHLadies, Ch 4 was really hard…definitely what i needed to read and so encouraged by it…and i am so thankful that there is hope n healing for the broken hearted! Ladies thank you for during all ur stories so far. they all have been a huge encouragement to me and a knowing that God is n control of our lives, our marriages, our children, our hopes n dreams, and our future.
i did have a rough childhood answer i grew up in the inner city…but praise b to God he has taken care if my family and kept us in the palm of his hands. I was given the gift of going to a Christian Christian and that is where i met my husband. we have been married this august for 13 yrs…and the last 3 HAVE BEEN THE HARDEST. We have 4 beautiful girls. So my heart ache begins 3 yrs ago. My husband is a believer but slowly has begun to live his life in his own strength. I don’t know why o can’t understand this change in him. HHis who personality has changes and for some reason he thinks he is n his 20’s. he lives for the acceptance of others and his ego has gotten so big. His personality has changed to the coolness and his drive to serve the Lord is really not there anymore. He had an emotional affair w a younger women and we moved out of state to try and fix our marriage…which i regret Sooo bad…i miss my family n friends like crazy!!! He got a new job this past year and most of the employees are young n single…most of them are unbelievers and are not the greatest influence on him…and i so desire that he would turn arfound and b the Godly example he knows to b and that God desires of him to b…i know that i cent change him…believe me I’ve tried and it doesn’t work…he has to have that n his heart for God to change him. we have had a last yr of ups n downs…where i found things n his phone that have hurt me. and our trust has been Sooo broken. and i fear that i will find something more. i have prayed n prayed for the Lord to change him and call him back to him. my heart hurts cuz i love this man…i know there he has been and how he use to love the Lord w his whole heart and me. i have tried to encourage him…but sometimes i just want to give up and i believe n Satan lies that were not gonna make it…but i know from reading ch 4. that God gist us healing and freedom. and i want that freedom…i want that hope and believe that promise that he has great plans for us plans to give us hope and a future n not to harm you. Then u will call upon me and pray to me. and i will listen to you. u will seek me n find me she u seek me with all of ur heart. I WILL B FOUND BY YOU. JEREMIAH 29:11-14…I don’t want to b in captivity any more of this marriage that was broken by miss trust but i want to believe and know n my heart that it can b restored and renewed w Christ on my side. i want to leave my husband and my marriage at the foot if the cross and i want God to renew my heart and take away this hurt, doubt, worries, and mistrust…i want to find my wholeness and completeness in Christ and nite in my husband anymore.
please pray for my husband to draw back and return to Christ and that the Lord will begin speaking to his heart again. and that he will see the need to change and allow the Lord to lead him once again. i ask that u pray for me that the Lord will give me the strength to go on each day and that i will find my joy in Him.
Jackie, I am praying for you and your husband. A few years back under different circumstances I lost trust in my husband because of hidden sin. It didn’t get better overnight. But through it all I have relied on my Heavenly Father and found Him to be my true Source. My husband did turn away from the sin and is living his life for the Lord. But when my husband fails me (since he’s human) and is not everything I need, I’m still fine because Jesus is my Refuge and my Rock whom I can stand on.
Crystal,
Thank U so much for ur encouragement. That really helped me to see that there is hope n healing in relationships that can b trying. Im so glad that things are working out in ur marriage and Im so happy that the Lord has turned ur husband around and that he is living fir the Lord again. 😉 I believe the hard part for me is totally relying on God to work in our relationship. every time i give it to the Lord i take it back and i don’t want to do that anymore. o fir that give my husband back to the Lord. I know that God is my source of strength and my Rock n i believe that he will take care of us. but when my feelings of mistrust ninsecurity time in i start doubting myself….how do i let go ntotally rely on my Savior???
please keep us in ur prayers….i will b doing my timeline sometime today and tomorrow i plan on having a retreat w Jesus lifting up my marriage n husband to the Lord and praising him for the blessings he has given me….I can do all things through him who gives me Strength…Phil 4:13
Thanks again
Jackie
The timeline is not something I’m going to be doing right now in my life. I have been having a difficult five years of marriage and a difficult three years of motherhood. I have been searching to find the answers to these difficulties and about two weeks ago I just surrendered it all and told God to take my life and do it for me because I was making a mess out of my marriage and my family. I have suffered through domestic violence and wanting men to find me special because my dad never did… I can recall every life event that hurt me right off the top of my head and I could create a timeline of my life in less than five minutes and then go back and add details for every event. I have been carrying this stuff with me daily for years. Comparing myself to my father and hating myself for it, striving for perfection and getting mad at anyone that doesn’t listen to me or do things my way because they are hindering my perfection (which is unattainable), I’ve been comparing my husband to my father and have just been feeling stuck inside myself, who is sinful and unworthy. I’ve been depressed and I’ve wanted to end it all. I felt sucked into a black whole. I read book after book and tried gimmick after gimmick… christian ones at that, but I couldn’t be free. When I asked God two weeks ago to do it for me I also forgave each person that I felt had hurt me and God told me to live in the moment. Day by day. Today is the only day I have. I have to submit it to him and let him live through me… not think of the past, but just have hope for today. I have had an amazing two weeks, just brimming and bubbling with the holy spirit and oh so much hope. Today when I sat to make my timeline, I was reminded again by all that I have done to fail and all that has failed me and I began to strive for perfection and I lashed out in anger when someone didn’t follow what I had said to do. I thought about it and I realized that yes, maybe I am not completely healed from my past and I need to go through that process, but God has told me to live in the moment and it was working great. So I’m going back to that…. and if and when God says to make a timeline and work through. I will. Right now, I’m not so sure he wants to use my junk to help someone by my reliving and retelling it… maybe he just wants me to live in the moment and serve him day after day. Love to you all.
Have re-read CH 4 several times, and something new is revealed each time.
This is for Denee: I had a period in my life when I had to live day-to-day in His grace too, and not process any more for a while all the stuff my family and I were going through. When He gives you His peace in the midst of that, which it sound like He is for you right now, then you are right, that is His affirmation that you just need to rest in His love. The timeline is an excellent concept, but we each have to use the tool to enhance our understanding in order to grow. If He is loving you to Him right now day-to-day, take that gift and get stronger, keep seeking His will, and when you are ready for it to reveal things in a new light that will be beneficial, He will let you know. Keep the faith sister and hang in there.
Hi Renee,
I wanted to say doing the time line is not easy at all. My counselor suggested for me to do this two weeks ago, and then it just happened to coincide with Chapter 4 this week. It is very depressing for me to go into my past. Hard to face. I know though it is part of the true healing process and becoming whole.
I also wanted to comment how you have referred to Jeremiah 29:11. I first heard this promise after my first husband passed away. For some reason now reading it through your book and other ways you have mentioned it, it is really sinking in alot more and has alot more meaning to it.
As I read through Chapter 4 I realize that in many ways I have run from the pain/depression of my past. It is nice to think God has hope for me, and a plan for me, and wants to rebuild my life. To think He can bring purpose to my pain. That’s quite a thought.
Reading your story in Chapter 4 made me wish I could share it with my current husband who I am separated from. I think he could relate to your story too. Maybe some day God will give me that opportunity.
I’m not sure if it is okay to say this but I am struggling a great deal. I have been a Christian for years but it never went from my head to my heart. I have had some trials in life and have never shared them. I just ate my way to feeling better. Recently God grabbed a hold of my heart and brought me to a place of brokenness so that all I had left was him. I am angry, sad, and overwhelmed and feel like I can’t make it through sometimes. I ask for prayer please that God continues to show the unfailing love he has for me and for me to believe I am worthy of it. Thank you so much!!
MH
MH…It is so OK to say how you feel here!! I pray for you that you will feel his unconditional love. I have felt the same way, and still struggle with it at times. This study is His perfect timing! The troubles and trials I have had in my life don’t show as much as when we eat to much. Nobody could see how i was so addicted to prescription pain meds. Just numbing myself to the world and all my pain. I was so sad, so overwhelmed by life. I had somewhat of a mental breakdown in December and had been hurting so much. Tools like this study are what are showing me, Jesus loves me through it all. I have a hard time trusting because I have been hurt by so many most of my life. lots of it, by my own doing. Insecurities and pain caused me to do and say things that people got tired me. Get off the pity pot is what i would hear. It wasn’t that at all, it was my pain, so great that i needed people to help. But god, He is the only one who can bring us through the storms of life. Hang on to Jesus, the hem of His Robe, if nothing else is what i did. At times i was hanging by a thread…praying He would just take me home…I am still here and so are you, I guess He is not finished with us yet. I am so glad you are…I love you my friend…Peggy
Thank you Peggy! Sometimes feel all alone and need to remember he is holding through all of this. Praying for you…
MH
Yes He is my dear sister…yes He is…I just finished doing work in my TImeline which is hard because i remember so little which in turn makes me feel alone and afraid. Only Jesus can heal my hurts and bring me to the place that can heal my broken places. i know that full well…I am alone in my heart and soul also…but through Him, I am starting to know that I am never alone…He is with us…Praise Him!!
Renee thank you so much for this book and the teaching that God has called you to do. I am learning so much and learning to let go of my past, my mistakes, my hurts and letting God have control, to let him and only him fill me. This is the second time reading through the nook and Hid has opened my eyes to so many more things that I kissed in my timeliness this time through and opened my eyes to all the things that I have left me feeling insecure, not good enough, not worthy. Some things I didn’t even know I was still banging onto. Praying for more confidence the unfailing love of Jesus and the the plans and hope I have through Jesus.
Please pray for me. I have come to realize that I am so used to being unhealthy spiritualy, mentally, emotionall and physically that I actually fear being healthy. Why that is I’m not really sure and I am asking God to reveal the root of that lie so that I can move on and be God’s ambassador for healing.
Cindy, When we study God’s word and begin to develop a “closeness” with our Father, we are targets for Satan’s lies. I’ll be praying for you during this time, that the Lord will heal you wherever you need healing. And that he will reveal to you what is truth and what are lies. I pray that He will give you a peace that only He can give.
Renee, I almost quit this study because it and life has become very painful as the pain has been coming to the surface but I decided to plug along because I know God is saying to me very clearly “IT IS TIME TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN AND MOVE ON TO WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU” This chapter has been really good, painful but also very encouraging and give me hope that I will get through this. IT IS HIS TIMING NOT MINE SO I KNOW IT IS OF GOD. BECAUSE MY NATURAL REACTION WHOULD BE TO RUN BCAUSE IT IS TOO PAINFUL.
Thank you so much for your prayers and walking with us through the process and taking this journey with Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.
My mom died of early onset alzheimers and I’ve been struggling with a lot of fear that I am getting it myself. I’m only 38 and have 3 small kids but find myself doing some of the things I remember in my mom early on. This chapter is showing me that I haven’t dealt with my mom’s death as much as I thought I had. I daily deal with a great deal of fear and am giving Satan a way to control me through that fear. Thanks Renee for letting God use you to help me try to find hope for my future.
This is the first book I have ever read through, highlighted, and upon finishing it decided to immediately go through it again and really work with it in my life. I am not a young woman by any means and it is still encouraging to know that God is NOT finished with me yet and I can still overcome a lack of confidence and the feeling of low self worth.
Thank you so much