“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)
My 8-year-old son walked into my room before school one morning and declared, “Mom, I don’t want to have any anxious thoughts today!”
“I don’t want to worry about you not being home when I get off the school bus. I don’t want to worry about my teacher not liking my science project. And I don’t want to worry about Dad getting in a car accident! I wish I could be like other kids because they never worry.”
Listening to him describe his fears made my stomach ache. Anxious thoughts had been a companion ever since I was a child, so I knew just how he felt.
However, I assumed my fears stemmed from hard things in my childhood during my parents’ divorce. My anxiety had solid reasoning behind it. My dad left before I was ever born. And by the time I was 2 years old, their divorce was final.
For as long as I could remember, I feared my mom would leave me too. Fear of rejection and abandonment followed me into every relationship I had for the rest of my life: with friends, boyfriends and even my husband.
Somewhere along the way, I accepted worry as a disability and settled into believing I didn’t get to decide how it impacted my life.
Now here I stood with my son who’d declared he wanted a day off from worry! And I was determined to help him get it. I wanted to rip those threads of fear out of his thoughts and make sure he knew what to do with them.
I couldn’t take my child’s fears away, but I could equip him with truth to face them courageously and fight them victoriously. I told Andrew, “You get to decide what to do with your worries.” And I shared three powerful truths to help him:
Truth #1: Other kids do worry; they just don’t talk about it on the playground.
Truth #2: Worry and fear must be a normal because God tells us not to, over 100 times in the Bible.
Truth #3: God doesn’t just tell us not to worry or fear, He tells us what to do when we do!
Then I read 2 Corinthians 10:5 to him, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” But a puzzled look on his face told me Andrew needed to know how to do that, so I described it in terms he could understand:
“Andrew, when you have a thought that makes you feel anxious, you can decide to catch it like a baseball and see if it’s worth keeping.” I then cupped my hand like I was holding a ball and told him to look at it and ask, “Is this something Jesus would say to me?”
If the answer is “no” — then throw your thought back into the outfield!
For instance, worry says: “Your mom isn’t going to be home when you get off the bus.”
“Would Jesus say that?” I asked.
“No,” he replied.
“Then it’s outta here!” I told him, as I threw the invisible ball across the room.
Worry says: “Your teacher isn’t going to like your science project!”
“Would Jesus say that?” I prompted.
Again, “No.”
“Throw that one away, too!”
We talked through each worry, processed his fears, and I helped him decide what to do. Then we prayed and asked God to replace each worry with a promise that would give him confident peace. Finally, we thanked God for ways He’d protected Andrew in the past, reminding him how good He is at being God.
After our collective “Amen” I looked up and Andrew had a big grin on his face. Then he said, “Thanks Mom!” as though all his worries were gone.
My sons are 17 and 20 now, and there have been many days I’ve wanted to take away their worries. I’ve been tempted to fix problems and sticky situations. But I’ve learned that doesn’t strengthen their faith or their ability to decide what to do when hard times come.
Instead, what our kids need most is for us to be there: to talk through their struggles, listen to their stories, pray through their worries and be willing to share God’s truths that have helped us decide how to face ours.
There is nothing more powerful than our hearts hearing our lips proclaim our trust in God’s truth. Again and again. So I created a FREE printable to help us do just that! I pray it will lead your anxious thoughts to Jesus as you hold those worries in your hands and ask: Is this what Jesus would say to me? If the the answer is no, YOU GET TO DECDE that it doesn’t get to stay!
CLICK HERE to download my “Fear Not For I am With You” FREE printable.
If you can’t see the image displayed, click here to go to view it on my website.
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I have learned very much at the beginning of my christian life just about 20 years ago that to worry wouldn’t help me any further and would take my “joie de vivre” but it wasn’t always easy, especially at night. That’s when the “what if” questions came to bother me and I always tried to find peace in praying to our Lord and praising Him for making things right.
As it was mostly worry about material things I found out that now the worry about someones life in danger is very different. I had cancer and a mastectomy mid of last year and before Christmas my darling husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer. So now when the fear creeps up in my heart I do my best to remember God’s promises for my/our life and hang on to them and again praise Him for His promises and I thank Him for His Love and Care for us and that I can fully trust Him!!!
Worry I think sometimes is my middle name. Will they like me. Will I ever get married. Will I get hired. Worry truly does trump my faith and I’m learning new that God will withhold things from me until I just let God and trust God. He wants our dependence to Him. My worry is just another name for fear and doubting in God.
Oh how these words ring so true to me! After my second child, worry and anxiety became such a part of my daily battle. Although I know these are actions of Satan fighting his battle within me there are days these take me over. I have learned to pray intentionally as soon as I begin to feel overwhelmed to give these to the Lord and ask him to to take the feelings away. I absolutely love your statement of these “must be normal”! Because so many times it doesn’t seem normal! Thank so much for your words Renee!
A year ago when my daughter was 14, she began having anxiety/panic attacks. I began breathing Gods words into her, singing worships songs to her & praying with her. She began high school & rather than using those tools to help her, she tries avoiding what’s happening. I pray that the seeds planted will begin to grow and she’ll trust in His word & not allow the enemy to do battle on her mind.
Thank you so much,
The word have been an encouragement to me too, I have learnt to live one day at a time, not to worry what will happen tomorrow. it Only believing and having faith in Christ that motivates one to look forward without being worried. Thanks again
I remember as a kid and YA that I would suffer from anxiety and worry and fear. Of everything. Now as a Mom I have fearful thoughts come at me randomly and I don’t like it.
Thank you so much for the simple illustration of the baseball. I am going to use it with my daughter. She is terribly afraid of rain after we survived an EF5 tornado last year. If it rains, it just sends her into hysteria. She always prays for God to make it stop and the last few weeks she has written Bible verses that deal/discuss fear. This has seemed to work done better. I really needed to read this to know we aren’t alone in this anxiety battle. The fear is do crippling to her some days. Love your works and would love the devotional book!
This is Perfect Timing for me. I have recently had some issues processing, remembering, communicating. etcl.. I went to the Neurologist and they said i had Volume Loss In the Front of my Brain. I also went to a speech therapist and learned that I have trouble breaking down this info. Sometimes talking to people I can hear them talk but Its not connecting. It has effected my job and my life. Its definitely effected my self-esteem. I caught myself focusing on what is wrong. how am I going to work, learn, etc. The fear of not being ok. I am so glad this info was revealed. It explains why I struggled all my life with learning, communicating, asking so many questions. etc. But at the same time. Its hard to understand. I was beginning to shut down and become paralazed in life. Praise God you posted this. I love your example of catching it. You will see me catching and throwing a lot..lol I love examples like this. Thank you so much for being transparent. I know God uses ALL THINGS FOR HIS GLORY.
I WILL NO LONGER FEAR. I WILL EMBRACE AND TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE.
GOD KNOWS WHAT IM GOING THROUGH. HE WILL NOT LEAVE OR FORSAKE ME.
THANK YOU AGAIN FOR SHARING.
BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOURS
I have always had fear and anxiety as a part of me, and I feel like I do better some days capturing every thought . It seems like now That I’m a mom, it is more of a challenge. Thank you for your tools for my journey. My journey of faith matters so much to my family, thanks for helping me to strengthen it.
At my age I have 2 choices: to live each day full of love and light or be depressed and isolate because so many of my friends are dying. I don’t fear death, but do dread the day when I learn of my 94 year old not being with us any longer. That will be the longest 9 hour flight I’ll ever make. God tells me not to worry/fear so I try my best to be obedient. Blessings, Beverly
I loved your book A Confident Heart and so did our group of women at our bible study. Would love to have the devotional too and share it with others.
Thanks Renee!
I tend to stay in my head and dwell on things. As I dwell more and more worry and fear can grow. If I remember, I get out of my head and do something — and I remind myself that for me, worry and fear translates to not trusting or believing enough in God. Lord help my unbelief.
This message was for me. Thanks so much and I will be sharing it with my grandchildren.
God bless you.
I definitely worry about a lot of things, and sometimes I even miss out on opportunities or can’t enjoy them because of my fear.
I have struggled with this all my life and your advice sounds good to me. I’m also on an anti anxiety medication and it helps a little.
Smart thikinng – a clever way of looking at it.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! I am a “worrier” and I have a son who is also:( I have gotten much better over the years and I have been sharing with my son how to not worry so much. He has gone great, except for one downfall this past school year, the day of his first SOL testing. He was so worried that he was physically sick. But with a little pep talk, some scriptures to figure it all out, he went on his way and did great!! I will definitely be sharing your blog post with him. Thank you so much for sharing that.
I have struggled with this all my life and passed it on to my children and grandchildren
I lost my father in a car accident several years ago and my mother, shortly after, was diagnosed with breast cancer, I am in constant worry for the protection and health of those I love. I pray each day for their protection and safe keeping but worry is a constant reminder of the past.
Worry has been a part of my life since I was a little girl. The Lord is revealing to me what a sin it is. I truly appreciate the devotionals on fear that you have posted.
Worry has plagued me all of my life. Only recently have I learned to think about what I am thinking and take hold of those worries. It is through Christ that I am able to keep my thoughts and worries in check. In the past, I have suffered from anxiety which is brought on by my worry about whether I measure up to others. I have learned that comparison is the stealer of joy. I am learning to trust in God and call out the name of Jesus when I have worries that do not match up to what the Bible tells us. Thank you for sharing this today!