“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)
My 8-year-old son walked into my room before school one morning and declared, “Mom, I don’t want to have any anxious thoughts today!”
“I don’t want to worry about you not being home when I get off the school bus. I don’t want to worry about my teacher not liking my science project. And I don’t want to worry about Dad getting in a car accident! I wish I could be like other kids because they never worry.”
Listening to him describe his fears made my stomach ache. Anxious thoughts had been a companion ever since I was a child, so I knew just how he felt.
However, I assumed my fears stemmed from hard things in my childhood during my parents’ divorce. My anxiety had solid reasoning behind it. My dad left before I was ever born. And by the time I was 2 years old, their divorce was final.
For as long as I could remember, I feared my mom would leave me too. Fear of rejection and abandonment followed me into every relationship I had for the rest of my life: with friends, boyfriends and even my husband.
Somewhere along the way, I accepted worry as a disability and settled into believing I didn’t get to decide how it impacted my life.
Now here I stood with my son who’d declared he wanted a day off from worry! And I was determined to help him get it. I wanted to rip those threads of fear out of his thoughts and make sure he knew what to do with them.
I couldn’t take my child’s fears away, but I could equip him with truth to face them courageously and fight them victoriously. I told Andrew, “You get to decide what to do with your worries.” And I shared three powerful truths to help him:
Truth #1: Other kids do worry; they just don’t talk about it on the playground.
Truth #2: Worry and fear must be a normal because God tells us not to, over 100 times in the Bible.
Truth #3: God doesn’t just tell us not to worry or fear, He tells us what to do when we do!
Then I read 2 Corinthians 10:5 to him, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” But a puzzled look on his face told me Andrew needed to know how to do that, so I described it in terms he could understand:
“Andrew, when you have a thought that makes you feel anxious, you can decide to catch it like a baseball and see if it’s worth keeping.” I then cupped my hand like I was holding a ball and told him to look at it and ask, “Is this something Jesus would say to me?”
If the answer is “no” — then throw your thought back into the outfield!
For instance, worry says: “Your mom isn’t going to be home when you get off the bus.”
“Would Jesus say that?” I asked.
“No,” he replied.
“Then it’s outta here!” I told him, as I threw the invisible ball across the room.
Worry says: “Your teacher isn’t going to like your science project!”
“Would Jesus say that?” I prompted.
Again, “No.”
“Throw that one away, too!”
We talked through each worry, processed his fears, and I helped him decide what to do. Then we prayed and asked God to replace each worry with a promise that would give him confident peace. Finally, we thanked God for ways He’d protected Andrew in the past, reminding him how good He is at being God.
After our collective “Amen” I looked up and Andrew had a big grin on his face. Then he said, “Thanks Mom!” as though all his worries were gone.
My sons are 17 and 20 now, and there have been many days I’ve wanted to take away their worries. I’ve been tempted to fix problems and sticky situations. But I’ve learned that doesn’t strengthen their faith or their ability to decide what to do when hard times come.
Instead, what our kids need most is for us to be there: to talk through their struggles, listen to their stories, pray through their worries and be willing to share God’s truths that have helped us decide how to face ours.
There is nothing more powerful than our hearts hearing our lips proclaim our trust in God’s truth. Again and again. So I created a FREE printable to help us do just that! I pray it will lead your anxious thoughts to Jesus as you hold those worries in your hands and ask: Is this what Jesus would say to me? If the the answer is no, YOU GET TO DECDE that it doesn’t get to stay!
CLICK HERE to download my “Fear Not For I am With You” FREE printable.
If you can’t see the image displayed, click here to go to view it on my website.
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How much doesfear or worry impact your daily decisions and joy (or your child’s)? Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post on my blog, and do just that. Your comment will be your entry to win!
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I am now a grandmother and i would like to share this to my grandkids because there will come a time that they will experience this…even i often face this but i thank the Lord He is always there to listen..thank you so much…i love to read more post from you..
I forget that God is sovereign and failed to turn to Him..
I struggle with worry and fear. I am currently going through a difficult situation with my employer as I returning to work after a long absence. He has been very difficult and I have been worrying about why he’s doing it.
I believe God wants me to trust him in this situation and he will work it out. When I worry I am not making the situation better. I am only making myself unhappy and anxious.
Thanks for sharing your insight on how to deal with fear. The way you explained it to your son would be great for my daughter. She sometimes worries about what people think. God bless you.
Renee Swope, I love your book, A confident Woman. This book has helped me and others through life trials. Right now I am struggling with anxiety so once again, into the God’s Word for guidance. Thank you for being so transparent. It is nice to know that we do not battle alone
This is awesome! I’m printing his out! My 10 year old nephew deals with this, and I can’t wait to share this with his mom! 🙂
“What ifs” and anxiety challenge me daily. I recite Phil 4:6-8 and 1 John 4:18 to help calm me. Thanks for this post and the giveaway.
Worry overwhelms me most of the time. I have a constant anxiety that I live with. This post is so helpful. I am going to print it out. Thank you!
Hi , I loved your example of throwing away fear. I’ve grown up with fear of always saying or doing the wrong things.I try to do what I think is right and would please God but, I usually get someone made at me I’ve pushed a lot of people away and I just end up avoiding people I’d rather stay in a comfort zone than keep getting hurt. Fear is paralyzing. But I am grateful I Know God is with me always. Thank you for your encouraging words.
I worry about everything. My dad worries about eveything. My Grandma worried about everything I believe it is built into our DNA. I have tried so hard not to worry but I just cannot stop! I would love to have the release of worry and the freedom to got thru the day without constantly fretting!
Fear insecurity & bad self esteem has held me captive most of my life. It has prevented me from stepping out to just do “fun things” things others take for granted or look forward too. I struggle with social anxiety & so does my youngest daughter. My oldest has insecurity & fear too but in a different way as she is more fearless like her dad. I love your illustrations Renee of how to capture thoughts & speak truth to my girls. It breaks my heart to see her already struggling with the same issues I have. & I will print & read this article to them.
Thank you. I needed this message!
Anxiety and worry is something I have also struggled with since I was little. While know it is a choice still hard at times. Today’s illustration was great!
I have been a mental health therapist for over 20 years, but when my now 10 year old daughter came to me with her anxiety, I tried everything…prayer, grounding, reframing, empowering self-talk, but she continues to have days of anxiety – particularly about diseases. I will show her this post and go through it with her. Thank you so much for a wonderfully creative spiritual way to help her.
I do from time to time become fearful. My favorite verse in John 4:18 states that there is no fear in love; perfect love casts out fear. I always go to His Word which always reminds me that God loves me, He’s for me and He will be my help and comfort in time of need.
I love the simple illustration you gave your son, Renee. I will have to try it. 🙂 Thank you so much for this and for the free printable. God be with you and bless you!
Thank you for sharing this! As a mother of 4 I have learned that there is always something to worry about and fear for your child about. I’m learning to seek God’s voice in the midst of that fear and worry!!!
Isn’t fear always with us, in the back of our minds, for satan’s minions rarely ever leave us alone! But God gives us 365 verses to speak against the spirit of fear, so we have a new weapon every day of the year!!! My biggest fear is financial worries. Although I “know” that God can get me through my difficulties, I keep doing stupid things that make me continue to struggle!
Blessings to all my ‘Sisters” and thank you Renee for sharing your wisdom!!
Oh yes, I struggle with fear and anxiety on a daily basis. Some days are easier than others. I constantly need reminders of the goodness, the strength and the nearness of God.
I have begun writing out verses in 3×5 cards and posting them in my room and all around the house to help me keep my focus on Jesus.
Thank you for this encouragement Renee. I would love to have a copy of your devotional.
Thank you for your ministry.
I have a friend that our Heavenly Father won’t allow me to give up on and this just might be an answer to my prayers. She constantly worries over EVERYTHING and ANYTHING and I am not exaggerating. She was abused as a child and still carries many of those fears into adulthood. I print several of your blogs, as well as some others, for her to read and she seems to find pleasure in them. Thank you for any consideration.
Thank you!!